cry for me

【One】

Xiao Gao felt that his shoulders were heavy since the last time he danced on the grave.

Can't sleep at night, can't get up during the day.

What's more frightening is that he seems to have intermittent auditory hallucinations. He always feels that when he goes to work, there is always a "person" snoring and moaning next to his ear, which makes Xiao Gao always look at his cheap suit. , There was nothing on the suit, but his colleagues thought Xiao Gao had epilepsy.

One of Xiao Gao's colleagues is Lao Lin and the other is Xiao Ling.

Lao Lin's hobby is to play dead, lying to his children every day that he is dying.This "wolf is coming" story annoyed his children. After threatening to send Lao Lin to a nursing home many times, Lao Lin finally gave up his boring hobby and went to the graveyard with Xiao Gao...

To be honest, it's not much better.

His children stuffed money into Xiao Gao every now and then, probably in the hope that Lao Lin could spend his old age peacefully.

But Lao Lin is not a fuel-efficient lamp.

During a certain funeral, Lao Lin repeated his old tricks and began to play dead again, which frightened the family members of the deceased to turn pale.When they were thinking about whether they should call the police or go private, Lao Lin stood up vigorously, and the angry family members wanted to spit on their faces when they saw Xiao Gao.

Xiao Gao's other colleague - Xiao Ling, her hobbies are much more normal.

She likes to play games. She has saved her wages for several months and said that she wants krypton gold. Every time she clicks to confirm, she hesitates. Then she says that she wants to buy clothes, but Xiao Gao finds that Xiao Ling has never worn new clothes. She was wearing the work clothes of the funeral company—that cheap black suit.

Xiaoling is thin and tall, and she can't wear a size S. Coupled with the terrible shoulder pads of the suit, she looks like a Transformer without a helmet.

But she is naturally beautiful, and although her taste is a bit strange, her face is still beautiful.

Every time after Xiao Gao finished comforting her like this, Xiao Ling would take off a high-heeled shoe and hold it in her hand, chasing and beating Xiao Gao all over the room. To be honest, until Xiao Gao became Lao Gao, and then from Lao Gao to dead Gao He didn't even understand why Xiaoling was angry.

【two】

Xiao Gao felt that he might be terminally ill.

He has always been the most passionate funeral host. His speeches often make the family members cry. Even the family members don’t care about the occasional big tongue when he hosts. But today he is in a very bad state, and he finally managed to finish the host. At the funeral, I was tired after playing the suona for half an hour.

There is no way they are relatively short of manpower.

After a while, he will have to kneel and weep in mourning.

He has been in this industry for a year or two, the first time he couldn't cry, now he can cry harder than his own son or grandson, and occasionally his family members couldn't stand it anymore, and secretly called him aside and stuffed him bottle of water.

Family member: Master Gao, you have worked hard today, so take a break.

Xiao Gao had never been so slack at work. He actually curled up in the broken van of their company and fell asleep. When Xiao Ling found him, the dead had all been sent to the crematorium.

Xiao Gao: Is it burned?

Xiaoling: Not yet, but when you get there, it will probably be ashes.

Xiao Gao felt that there was a problem with his work attitude.

Xiaoling: The family members are very considerate. They don't care about me when I play games next to me.

Xiao Gao: Our signboard is probably smashed.

At this time, Lao Lin climbed into the car tremblingly.

Lao Lin: What are you smashing? People are all in urns, and I'm afraid he will go to the Consumer Association to complain about us.

Xiao Gao: ...that's too miserable.

Lao Lin: Hurry up and turn on the air conditioner, it’s freezing to death.

Xiao Gao got into the driver's seat and turned the car key. This poor van, which had been in service for an unknown amount of time, suddenly started shaking a few times and spit out a puff of black smoke from the back of its buttocks.

Xiaoling: It's really picky, and I didn't even say to change the car for us.

Ghost: Exactly!

Xiaoling stared at the window glass that was about to be shattered by the broken car, and suddenly realized a question. There were only the three of them in the car, a large pile of tied paper figurines, and funeral wreaths. Who was answering the question just now? Own?

What ghosts never expected was that Xiaoling didn't delve into this issue.

Xiaoling is a staunch atheist.

Otherwise, she wouldn't be able to play games on the grave.

It was the first time this ghost, who had been dead for an unknown amount of time, saw such a big-hearted group of people.

Xiao Gao: Lao Lin, your voice just now is so strange.

Lao Lin: It's Xiaoling who is free and asks questions and answers by herself.

Xiaoling: Get out!Xiao Gao, don't be scary here.

Xiao Gao: Hey, by the way, have you paid the final payment for the family members?

Lao Lin: Of course, if you don’t give it to me, you will die there.

Xiaoling continued to play the game without raising her eyelids.

Xiaoling: You are really a hardcore cock, even pickier than our boss.

Lao Lin: That is.

Xiaoling: Are you saving your coffin book?

Lao Lin: Fart! !

This ghost just watched the topic gradually get farther and farther away from him...

To be honest, he was a little reconciled.

【three】

In the past some miracles were collectively called apparitions.

Xiao Gao felt that he was getting sicker these days, because sometimes he could see a vague shadow in the mirror, with the hands of the shadow resting on his shoulders.

Xiao Gao: No wonder.

Ghost: You finally saw me.

Xiao Gao: I have to see a psychiatrist tomorrow.

Ghost: I'm real!There are really ghosts in the world!

Xiao Gao: I am seriously ill.

Ghost: You won't die.

Xiao Gao: Why?

Ghost: Your life span is not over!understand!

Xiao Gao didn't expect that although his split personality looked neurotic, he had no intention of competing with himself for the right to use his body. He washed his face and ignored the ghost.

He couldn't see the ghost without a mirror.

But his (it) voice is very annoying.

Xiaoling: Are you epileptic again?

Xiao Gao replied yes, and then started patting himself on the shoulder with a fly swatter. Xiao Ling and Lao Lin looked at each other, thinking that Xiao Gao's illness might not be as simple as epilepsy.

[Four]

The boss of the funeral company is back.

The boss is carrying a bag and combing his hair back.

He is a middle-aged man with a shiny face.

Sometimes the boss secretly uses Xiaoling's oil-absorbing paper, but Xiaoling still doesn't know about it.

Although Xiaoling's aesthetics are a bit strange.

But Xiaoling's face is still pretty.

Fortunately, the boss didn't say such things to Xiaoling, otherwise he might be beaten to death by Xiaoling because of the oil-absorbing paper and these heartfelt words.

Boss: Our performance has dropped again!

Lao Lin: It is not up to us to decide how many people will turn their heads.

Boss: You old comrade, speak with respect!We are in the service industry!service industry!

The boss picked up the thermal water tank that the leader provided as standard, and used the lid to skim off the tea foam.

Boss: You have to reflect on your work attitude!That's enough, I'll stop here, the meeting is adjourned!

Although the boss looks very unreliable, he still pays his salary on time, so everyone doesn't feel much about him always playing and disappearing all year round.

The only thing that makes them less than happy are two things:

One was about the van, and the other was about scolding them every time he came back from a meeting.

All three of them have thick skins.

So they are more concerned about the problem of the van.

【Fives】

The boss checked a full-length mirror in their office, which was leaky in summer and windy in winter.

The beautiful name is: daily self-examination mirror.

Xiao Gao knew that the youngest son of the boss might have started to learn the Analects.

"I examine myself three times a day", learn now and sell now.

Xiao Gao doesn't miss the days of studying in school very much.

Ghost: It looks like you are the kind of person who is particularly bad at studying.

Xiao Gao can now clearly see what that ghost looks like. This is a ghost with silver hair and earrings but insists that he is from the Tang Dynasty. Maybe his mind is not very clear.

Xiao Gao began to believe that it was a real ghost.

Because Xiaoling and Lao Lin also saw the ghost through the "daily self-examination mirror".

In the initial discussion, the three suspected that they were cursed for years of dancing on the grave.Under the insistence of the ghost, they finally admitted that this is a real ghost that is just a fake.

Then there was no more, after the ghost was verified to be upright, the three of them ignored the ghost.

【six】

Things turned around at a funeral they botched.

Lao Lin was stumped, because they were the only funeral company in Shili Bacun, so Lao Lin had a very good reputation for pretending to be dead.The family members were in a hurry, saying that they would not pay for such a game.If Lao Lin quits, a fight is about to start.

Xiaoling is ready to take off her high heels.

At this time, the silver-haired ghost was attached to the body of the deceased, who suddenly sat up.

Deceased: You don’t even want to pay me for such a small amount of money!

After saying that, the deceased went "paji—" and fell down again.

For a while, the atmosphere at the funeral scene was very dignified.

The ghost covered his mouth and laughed in the audience.

But obviously, his faint laughter directly turned the funeral into a scene of a ghost movie.

In the end, the family members were afraid that their old father would really "have a cordial meeting" with them at night, so they paid double the money.

Lao Lin was very satisfied.

He decided to divide the extra money among the three equally.

Ghost: That won't work!If it weren't for my quick wit, where did you get the money from!

Xiaoling: You're dead, so what's the point of asking for money!

Ghost: This is a matter of principle!

The money was still divided into four, and the ghost's share was bought into incense candles, and he was asked to take it with him as a snack.

Ghost: Happy!

【Seven】

So the three colleagues became three people and one ghost.

Probably because they have been in contact with ghosts for a long time, the three of them can also see other ghosts.

So they help the deceased to hold the funeral and chat with the ghost of the deceased at the funeral.

Generally, they help the elderly with funerals. The folk customs here are relatively simple. If the elderly have not suffered from some illness, they have always died of old age.But this time it was strange, the deceased was a young woman.

Her ghost looks carefree, but her corpse is not very respectable.

She was stabbed several times, and it seems that the arm was also stitched up later.

Young woman: I think I've seen you before!

Xiao Gao: No no no!I'm not!I don't!

Young woman: Oh, where did you go, I mean I seem to have seen you when I was in school!

Xiao Gao: I think you remember wrongly.

Young woman: Well, maybe, I just died not long ago, so I probably haven't adapted yet.

Xiaoling seemed to want to ask some questions, but finally she had the nerve to speak.

Young woman: Do you have any questions?

Xiaoling: What's the matter with you?

Young woman: Maybe I met a robber. I didn't give him my wallet, so the robber killed me.

Lao Lin: Then he should be shot!

Young woman: I don't know if someone caught me or not.

Xiaoling: Why didn't your family come here?

Young woman: I'm an orphan, or how come the police/comrade police gave me the money for the funeral?