unreachable letter

You Xiaoxiao, I'm leaving.

Now say this sentence, you will definitely not hear it.

I left, sitting in an old friend's car.When Chen Nian became the groom today, he was so moved that he kept crying.

I get motion sickness. Fortunately, you prepared a box of motion sickness stickers in advance.There are two round ones pasted on the base of the ears, the driver is a man, and there is no square one.

As soon as the car is driving, the people in the same car start talking about you and Chen Nian.Talk about when you met, how you fell in love, and today you can finally walk into the palace of a happy marriage side by side.

It's funny and romantic what they say, but none of what they say is true.I know that the two of you got together after graduation and work. It was he who confessed first, and you who proposed marriage first.

They talked and talked, and mentioned Guangzhou and Hong Kong.They said that the climate in Guangzhou is not as suitable for girls' skin care as the two Guangzhou people said at the dinner.It's hot and humid over there, and northern girls may not like it very much.Hong Kong is the same, fearing the growth of germs, the indoor air conditioner is more than ten degrees higher; when there is no one to answer it, it is better not to go there, because you can only buy things, there is nothing to do.

But you are from Xi'an, Xi'an is also famous for being hot in summer.Last year, the surface temperature reached [-] to [-] degrees. You called me and told me that you could not go out, and you would suffer from heat stroke after getting off the subway.I'll just say it's unbearably hot in your place, and I really don't like it there.But I didn't say, there is you there, it seems nothing to be uncomfortable.

Inadvertently, the car was on the expressway, dizzy and dizzy, too lazy to talk to them.

Today is your wedding, but it is the day that I miss you the most.

At the beginning of the freshman year, freshmen will enter school at the end of August, and formal military training and classes will begin in September.The freshman dormitory is an old dormitory. The outer wall of the house is obviously peeling off. The inside of the dormitory is fine, but it is very cold in winter, and we sleep on the top floor. You said you have to wear down jackets in our dormitory, otherwise you will definitely catch a cold in winter.

However, the most impressive thing is the admission of freshmen.At that time, my dad sent me to the dormitory, and the first thing I saw when I entered the door was you.You are sitting on the chair in front of the window with your knees bent and tying your shoelaces. You are wearing a lilac purple collared short sleeve on your upper body and cropped washed loose denim on your legs.At that time, you still had a mushroom head, neat bangs, black and shiny, neat and soft, not tall, with snow-white skin, which was perfectly clean from the inside to the outside.Later everyone found out that you are a Virgo, you have cleanliness and obsessive-compulsive disorder, which is very serious.But I don't think so.

After I entered the door, I stared blankly at you.I come from a small place where the head is a mountain and the turn is a mountain. I have never seen anything in the world, and I have never seen a person with facial features as beautiful as yours.But once you smile, your teeth must be ugly, like a rabbit.

You are not a rabbit, I think you are more like a hedgehog.When we were not acquainted, everyone said you were cold, of course it is still the same now.But thanks to your thorns, otherwise how would you deal with so many suitors?

During the National Day in the first semester of your freshman year, you went to Beijing, saying you were going for a stroll, but you were actually going to see your boyfriend.At that time, I thought, how can such a good girl be so serious about her relationship, so she is not afraid of getting hurt?After the winter vacation, you broke up with your first boyfriend. He was the one who mentioned it first, so there is no need to say the reason.I was so angry that I jumped, and you kept everything in your heart, too bitter to speak.

Out of concern, I have been following you, shopping with you and watching you choose clothes.You picked a lot of red, red jacket, red base, red warm shoes, said it was festive.You also asked me to help you choose a scarf. I bit the bullet and chose a rainbow gray one. It's not as festive as your red sweater, but it's still worthy.On the way back to school, you didn't say a word, you put the earphones in your ears, and listened to "One ~ Nothing ~ Hanging" repeatedly.I was worried about you, so I couldn't help taking a sneak peek, only to see that your eye sockets were already red.From the time we met to now, I have never seen you cry again, you are really too strong.

I don't know if you still have an impression?When I was a freshman, I held a backgammon straight machine, which was a bit like an outdated mobile phone. It was inconvenient to register and open, and the 2G traffic was slow.You guys in the same dormitory are all exchanging QUQ numbers, but I don’t have a QUQ number, which seems out of place.At that time, you helped me without saying a word. I used your Nokia, which was uncovered, high-grade gray, and covered with a burgundy shell. That year, there were two people in our grade who used that model. You are all smart.In this way, I had my first QQ number in 17 years, and I was so happy that I almost lost sleep.The Koukou password has never been changed, it’s still spelled out with your birthday and full name, so it’s easy to remember.But do you still remember the initial nickname you entered for this account?You were sitting at the head of the bed, and I was your neighbor. You tapped the iron bars of the bunk bed with the back of your finger, smiled slightly and said:

Sun Sibei, I named her "Bei Bei", dear Bei, do you like it?

like.

I like you.

That was later, I love you.It is still the same, never changed.

But how can I say it in front of your face?Even in my heart, I dare not confirm that this is true.I was afraid that someone or God would question me, asking me if I was crooked or sick.

I dare not say, since the second semester of my freshman year, I have been holding back this sentence.

I am darker than you, not as good-looking as you, my family background is not good, and I am a woman, how can I say this to you?You say that I am taller than you, I look good in clothes, I sing well, and I can draw, but what's the use?

Just as I was thinking this way, the same-sex equality issue was suddenly discussed in the car.The chattering man on the co-pilot said that he does not discriminate against homosexuality, but agrees with the view that "homosexuality is a cancer of human beings". Genes will determine a person's sexual orientation, but this is likely to be the self-destruction of human beings.Perhaps he is right, the union of men and women is the law of the universe, and other special cases are like human cancer cells.I thought about it, thinking that the fact that I love you is just like my cancer. I am in pain, but I have to continue to love you.

I was motion sick all the way back to Xi'an, and it was better when I arrived in Tongchuan.We rested at the service station for about 10 minutes, the driver got off to eat, and I went outside to breathe.There are some small hills on the left and right of the road. On the hills are low trees and shrubs, like artificial forests or secondary forests, which can be hugged with one arm.

It suddenly occurred to me that there never seemed to be any real hugs between us.As for holding hands, I probably did, but I don't remember much.In fact, if you came to hug me or hold my hand now, I would still panic and back away from you.

I dare not touch you.

The night before your wedding, that is, last night, you asked me to chat with you in the bridal suite.We were lying on the same big bed, and you told a lot of things that were bothering you.You said that Uncle Chen Nian is the manager, the management is not in place, and the wedding arrangements are very messy.I comforted him by saying, there is a first time for everything, you are safer than Chen Nian, and you are more efficient in handling things, you should discuss it with him carefully, and let him not be in a hurry, you will be fine tomorrow.

I also ask you, are you nervous?You smiled and didn't answer.I also smiled immediately, then looked at the light reflected by the guard lamp in the mirror, and didn't say a word.We didn't turn off the lights, and just lay there overnight until makeup started at five o'clock the next day.

You're nervous, but really happy.It seems that apart from the role of best friend, I have no reason to stand here to share your joy; the wedding is the same, I can only follow you as a bridesmaid holding a red wine glass and watch you exchange rings.

I am right behind you wishing you happiness.But I am always afraid that you will not be happy enough if you are so good.

When you were in college, you liked to ask me to go out together.You are going to the library, I will follow you.You are going out to eat grilled fish, and I will accompany you to eat grilled fish.But you know, I'm not very good at spicy.I like it sweet, or slightly sour.There are many tastes that I have never tasted before, but I have tasted them thousands of times in my heart, and the same is true for bitterness.

I remember that you like Sichuan master's Mala Tang the most, and you also like sesame sauce, so it is also possible to eat Northeast Liangpi mixed with sesame sauce.But I don't like it, I think the sesame sauce tastes weird.You also like pot-packed meat, but I think the sticky one is not pure enough, I'm afraid you will have a toothache if you eat too much.Your teeth are a little wide and you need to see your dentist regularly.

Remember the Chongqing noodle shop in the bar alley on Guangming Road, you took me there too.I heard that the door was closed recently, and the boss and his family moved to another city.In a shoe store near his home, you helped me choose a pair of black canvas with rose red and blue stripes on a white background.I actually don't like those shoes at all, the fit is too thin, and my feet hurt when I wear them with wide feet. After graduation, I couldn't bear it anymore, so I gave them to my cousin.

So, I probably didn't treat you as well as I thought.

You like pink, white and blue so much, but I like grass, black and lake green.You like Mai Kuraki, I like Ayumi Hamasaki.You said Lin Gengxin is handsome, but I like Duan Yihong more.How on earth did we become good friends?I can't remember it.

You once commented on me, saying that I am too shy, often addicted to fantasy, a classical idealist, and a typical Pisces.You also said that because I like philosophy, I often live like an old man, always trying to find a fulcrum with all my strength, and then pry a spark.But you are Mercury, we are so close, but it seems like a whole galaxy is separated.

In fact, I don’t want to read most of the books you recommended to me. I would rather read "No Longer Human", and "Island Bookstore" is also very good.You said that the old man in "The Old Man and the Sea" was too persistent. Judging from the conditions at the time, the big marlin was not worth it at all.I said I don't think so, at least the old man got a pair of fish bones in the end.So you start to argue again that the old man killed the marlin with his own hands, causing the marlin to be swallowed by many sharks.I was terrified when I heard this, and never dared to praise the old man in front of you again.

It seems like I'm always trying so hard to make you happy, but it always backfires and leaves you sulking all by yourself.A clumsy tongue like me only knows to be good to others with all my heart and soul, but it must not be good enough.

As for you, you are hard-spoken and soft-hearted, and you are not angry for a long time. On the contrary, you are confiding in me, and you are even more kind to me.When I think of your kindness to me, I can't help but want to return more kindness.There is a lot of exchange between good and good, and the relationship is always different from others.People just like this kind of wishful thinking, as if they are a lover who knows the world.

I just got off the expressway, and I have already reached the northern suburbs.When I got off the highway, the car started turning again, my head started to sink again, and I felt like vomiting.I ran out of motion sickness stickers, except Fang's.I haven't taken motion sickness medicine, I've taken too much before, and I always feel that this thing is not good for my body.

After today, you and Chen Nian will go to Inner Mongolia.When you go, you must also take photos of the grassland, Hulunbeier is really beautiful.Going to northern Shaanxi this time is really tossing, and staying in the hotel is also painful. You know that if I change my bed, I won’t be able to sleep in another place.So the next time I bypass Xi'an, I'll go straight to the desert.

I only asked for three days off, which is enough to attend your wedding.The ticket has been booked, and I will send you a WeChat message when I arrive at Xianyang Airport later, don't worry about me getting lost.

Don't worry about me being tired.No matter how far away, no matter how old I am, I still want to see you and hear your voice more, while I can still see and hear.

Goodbye, happy little one.

- not baby bei

The author has something to say: Even the title of the song must be harmonious...