[Tess of the D'Urbervilles] Concubine Wan Gui counterattacks the doormat

Claire was riding a horse, with two suitcases hanging on the horse behind her, slowly appearing on the horizon of the valley.The setting sun elongated the figures of a man and a horse, and the evening wind blew by, making the rhododendron trees sway non-stop. The heavy rhododendrons occasionally dropped one or two flowers, making a "click" sound.

After walking for an unknown amount of time, a white path appeared in front of them, and then he finally saw the small town surrounded by mountains where his parents lived.In the fading twilight, he could see from a distance the tall red stone church tower of the Dufeng dynasty on Zhenshan, and his own house surrounded by lush forests nearby.This was the residence of his father, the Reverend James Clare.At this moment, the chimney on the roof of the white building is slowly emitting smoke, and there is this slow and beautiful smell in the air.

Not far from home, Claire got off the horse, reached out and led the horse back to the door of her own house.

Mrs. Claire heard the voice, raised her head, and saw from the window her little son, Angel Clare, whom she held dearly in her heart.

So, she cried out in surprise: "Honey, you're back!" Then she put down the potatoes and the knife she was peeling, and wiped her hands on the apron. At this time, Claire had already appeared at the door of the house .

Mrs. Claire didn't care whether her hands were clean, she smiled and stepped forward to hug Claire.

"My dear Angel, mother is so glad to see you back."

Clare is a little ashamed. He willfully left home to study on a dairy farm, much to the concern of both his father and mother.In his previous life, in order to avoid Tess, he resolutely left his family and went to Brazil. They must have endured even more painful suffering.

Thinking of this, Claire's depressed mood for the past few days became even worse.

"Mom," he looked down at Mrs. Clare, "where's Dad?"

Mrs. Clare replied: "Oh, my dear, your father is still in the parish. Just now his associate pastor came and said that there are many Lord's people who came to confess today, and it may be a little later in the evening." She said, looking up. Head, keenly felt the low breath of his youngest son, and asked worriedly: "An Qier, what's wrong with you? Did something bad happen to you?"

Although Claire was sad, he didn't want his mother to worry, so he could only smile slightly: "No, my good mother, I just miss you so much." As he spoke, he took his petite mother into his arms and patted her. Only let her go.

"I'm going to pick up Dad." He pretended to be relaxed, and said with a cheerful tone: "We can't let our respected Pastor Claire walk alone in the dark night."

As he spoke, he turned his head so that his mother could not see his slightly trembling mouth because of his sadness. He tried his best to suppress himself, "I'm going out, mother." He raised his head, not letting the tears in his eyes fall, and quickly He left the home he had just returned to.

As soon as he got to the door, his tears dripped down.

At this time, the night had completely shrouded the town, and there were very few people on the street. At this time, almost all of them returned home, stretched their tired bodies from the whole day, and thanked the Lord for the dinner they had given them. Only slowly and satisfactorily enjoy it.So, under the cover of the night, Claire shed tears to her heart's content. On the almost deserted white stone streets, she walked slowly at the beginning, then raised her feet to speed up, and finally ran wildly like venting.Occasionally, a pedestrian passed by, and before he could see who it was, the strange person disappeared from his sight and was covered by darkness.

Clare soon came to the tall house in Emmin Abbey where her father was.He stopped, stopped under the high wall, and sat down with his knees leaning against the wall.

He closed his eyes in pain and buried his head in the crook of his arms.

The night was quiet, only the insects "squeaked" in the grass.The gas lamps hanging on both sides of the iron door of the church were flying around a group of gnats, making the man who was curled up in the dark corner of the wall crying silently even more lonely.

I don't know how long it took, people came out of Emmin Temple one after another, but no one noticed that the youngest son of Pastor Clare, whom they respected and who is still listening carefully to their confession in the church, was silently Hiding in the corner, maybe he was confessing, maybe he was regretting, maybe... even Angel Claire herself didn't know what kind of complicated emotions were rolling in his heart that night.

When the last member left the confession room, Pastor James Clare stood up, packed up the books on his desk, and habitually picked up the thick "Bible" and left the church.

Only a few steps away from the church gate, the pastor turned his head as if feeling something, and found a figure in the corner.

Holding the "Bible", he walked towards the corner step by step, and stood in front of the man curled up in the darkness. The hem of the black robe exuding a rigorous aura was rippling, and touched the man's hand.

The man didn't raise his head for a long time.

The pastor looked at the familiar face in front of him, and finally said hesitantly, "... Angel?"

The man finally raised his head slowly. In the darkness, the mottled tear stains on his face were particularly bright.

Claire pulled out a forced smile, which made his teary face look weird, "...good evening, Dad..."

The pastor stared at his youngest son for a while, and then stretched out his hand, "Aren't you going to get up?"

Claire held her father's hand and stood up straight.

Then, the two walked towards home in silence.

Claire didn't say anything, and the pastor didn't open his mouth. When he was almost at the door, Claire had recovered and behaved as usual.

They came back later than Mrs. Clare expected. The family had already sat at the dining table, waiting for the father and son for a long time.

The virtuous Mrs. Claire stood up and hugged her husband and young son one after the other, "Good evening dear, come over to have dinner, oh, we can't wait."

Claire's two older brothers, Reverend Felix and Reverend Cuthbert, stood up to greet their father and younger brother.

The old pastor nodded, went back to his room and put the Bible away before coming out to enjoy his dinner.

Claire sat down, and as soon as she spread the tablecloth on her lap, her elder brother Felix spoke out, "Angel, have you read any interesting books lately?" ridicule.Claire is the most independent person in their family. Instead of going to college, she chooses to go to a farm as an apprentice. Felix feels that his little brother has made his parents sad, so he uses these harmless words every time they meet. Sarcasm.

The second brother Cuthbert did not participate in this boring game.At a young age, he was not only the associate pastor of a nearby county, but also the dean and director of the Divinity School of Cambridge University, so he always behaved more calmly than his elder brother.

Claire smiled, then bowed her head and fell silent.For a moment, the atmosphere at the dinner table froze a bit.

Looking at the three sons, Mrs. Claire didn't know what to say. This silence continued until their father returned to the dining table. After the family thanked the Lord for the gift devoutly, they began to eat quietly.

After dinner, the old pastor looked at his younger son and said softly, "Come with me, Angel."

Claire paused, then slowly got up, and followed his father into his exclusive study.

As soon as he came in, the old pastor turned around to look for books in the bookshelf, and didn't seem to ask why Claire lost his composure just now.Claire knew that his father was letting him choose whether to tell him or not, he didn't force him, and waited patiently.

Claire stood in the center of the study for a while before slowly pulling away the chair opposite the desk and sitting down.His hand inadvertently touched the Bible in the middle of the desk.

He is very familiar with this book, almost grew up with him, and he can even recite it backwards.Before he awakened to the shackles and insufficiencies of this theological thought, he even piously thought that he, like his father, would devote his whole life to it.

Claire stroked the hard and straight edge of the book lightly, and the line from Chapter 9 to [-] of "The Lost Garden" described by Milton repeated in his mind:

"Queen, the road is paved and not too long,

Just over the row of myrtle...

If you accept my guidance,

I'll take you right away. "

"Then lead the way." Eve replied.

With a "boom—" in her mind, Claire felt that she suddenly woke up!

Yes!Yes!He is like the inferior evil animal in theology, tempting Tess to step into the abyss of evil step by step!Unlike the snake who was full of lies, he tortured the poor woman with his indifference, resistance, and neglect, forcing her to breed evil thoughts, raise a cold knife, violate the authority of the god of death, and commit the killing !

Claire felt endless pain and self-blame.He was the one who should have been hanged in his previous life!Why did the Lord send him back to this time?Could this be the purgatory mentioned in the Bible?Punish the sins he committed in his previous life, let him repent his sins here, and cleanse his soul?

What Claire didn't realize was that his father had already turned around and quietly observed the change of his face from shock, pain to self-blame. Seeing that Claire was immersed in the abyss of self-blame and couldn't extricate himself, he sighed slightly , Although I don't know what happened to the youngest son when he was away from them, how could the old pastor Clare, as a father, bear to watch his son fall into extreme darkness?

"My confused believer," he came over and opened his mouth, looking down at him with compassion, "do you have anything to confess to the Lord?"

This voice seemed to come from outside, Claire looked up at his father's face in a daze, he was like his own father, but thinking of the incomparably merciful God, he couldn't help feeling a little dazed, and murmured:

"Lord, I am guilty..." He said, "Before I knew it, I became that lowly animal that deceived evil and hurt that innocent Eve..."

The old pastor looked at Claire pitifully, and said, "Everyone is guilty, but as long as you sincerely repent of your sins, the merciful God will forgive you..."

Claire's tears fell, and he suddenly choked up and said, "But... I can't forgive myself..." He paused, his tone full of confusion, "As long as you repent, you can be forgiven. Whose forgiveness? But I only want that Eve's forgiveness!"

The old pastor was silent.

Claire's gaze gradually became firmer at this time, "Yes, why am I still crying weakly now? I should go to confess and ask her for forgiveness!"

Seeing that his youngest son seemed to have made up his mind, the old pastor no longer had the fragility and confusion on his face just now. Knowing that he had found a bright direction, he stretched out his hand and patted him lovingly on the shoulder.

"...work hard, my child."