poppies in the attic

50.

"Why don't you talk? Don't you have anything to say to me?" Wu Pengzhi stopped talking impatiently. She suddenly felt that she had talked too much, and the more she talked, the more she couldn't finish it.

Xiang Jin no longer looked at Wu Pengzhi at all, but turned her head to stare elsewhere, her lips tightened.

"Speak up." Wu Pengzhi's upright and stern attitude just now was shaken by Xiang Jin's silence.

Xiang Jin suddenly stood up from the chair, walked to the workbench, picked up the sketchbook, opened it, then tore off a few sketches, tore them into pieces, threw them into the air, and then threw the sketchbook into the air without hesitation. Throw it out.The sketchbook flew down from the attic, and there was a "crash" overturning sound from the living room on the first floor, and something was smashed and made a loud noise.

Wu Pengzhi was stunned.This was the first time she saw Xiang Jin angry.

"This is my answer." Xiang Jin turned around and looked at Wu Pengzhi who stood motionless and stared at the piece of paper on the ground.

"You're right, I draw these things just to stay here for a little longer. This is the biggest concession I can make. Don't you already know that I'm not interested in people at all. You are lonely, you are lonely and What does it matter to me? I didn’t cause it. Why should I sympathize with you and understand you?”

"Let's just say it, I'm just doing it as a proposition composition. Wen Shaohui is right, everyone will not be interested. Even you are not interested in your own loneliness, why do you ask us to sympathize with you? Sympathy What are you guys? I was sitting in a coffee shop, listening to the people around me talking about money. Investments are measured in billions, and houses are measured in tens of millions. And I am measuring in tens of thousands. The unit works hard to sell paintings, what qualifications do you have to ask me? As I said, I can clearly feel the heartbeat of the earth, the breath of every tree and every flower in nature. You all made so much money , Nature doesn’t close the door to you, you can go wherever you want. And you, either are busy here to make more money, or stay in nature and feel nothing.”

"You understand wrong, I'm not talking about them, I'm talking about my loneliness..." Wu Pengzhi weakly tried to defend himself.

"Your loneliness, okay, let's talk about your loneliness. You can't hear other people's heartbeats but your own. I'll tell you why. Because you don't care about each other. Your warmth for Xiaoqin And encouragement, because you didn't think about her at all. As a person who doesn't know how to paint, why do you encourage her to succeed if you work hard, and why do you say that you will be rewarded for your efforts? Because speaking like this makes you feel good about yourself, and you can With a sense of superiority, you can become a kind person without effort. You don't mind the price she may pay for it. You say I have a heart of stone, but you have no heart at all. How can a person without a heart have a heartbeat Voice."

Wu Pengzhi has to admit that a silent person does not mean that he has no thoughts, and a person who does not speak does not mean that he cannot speak.What Xiang Jin said was more ruthless and accurate.

"Similarly, others won't pay attention to you. You just flatter and praise each other heartlessly. Let's talk about you, you try your best to dress yourself up as an independent and free single woman, who can be happy and easy, but not Lost warmth and introverted, you set other people's expectations on your shoulders. Everyone praised you for looking at you with admiration and admiring your demeanor. No one asked you sincerely, Pengzhi, how are you? Everyone was abandoned in this In the ocean of loneliness, day after day, year after year. I will not stay in such a place, otherwise I will become a walking dead, no longer have a heartbeat."

Wu Pengzhi suddenly had a sore nose, this was her state for 15 years.Xiang Jin could feel everything.Wu Pengzhi felt that she fell in love with Xiang Jin even more, and she wanted to say that what she said just now was all nonsense.However, she didn't know how to speak.

"Let's talk about your heartbroken goodbye 15 years ago. You think I never apologized. Yes, I owe you an apology, but not because of leaving without saying goodbye. It's because I couldn't hold myself before that. I shouldn't grasp I shouldn't have accepted your love hastily without my own desires. I couldn't afford this love. I didn't want to commit to something I couldn't afford, so I ran away. 15 years later, I know I'm once again Made the same mistake, once again I indulged my desires, once again accepted a love I couldn't bear."

Xiang Jin looked at Wu Pengzhi sadly and shook his head slightly.

Wu Pengzhi panicked and saw alienation and regret in Xiang Jin's eyes.

"Pengzhi, let's stop here. I can never repay your love. I can't give you what you want. I can't give you the company you want. I can't give you the thoughtfulness you want. To. Even, I can't say the love words you want. I love you, but I can't do what you expect, if I do, it will no longer be me. "

Xiang Jin pointed to the piece of paper on the ground, "I'm terrible at drawing."