[Comprehensive British and American] Old popsicle online dating rules

"What are you doing here?"

Startled by the uninvited guest in front of him.Jialuode opened his eyes wide in an instant, then relaxed again, fell back on the sofa again, and said without energy: "Are you sober?"

"almost."

Pressing his hangover head, he moaned and moved from the room to the lounge.Hawkeye yawned, patted Jarod's calf, and signaled him to make room for himself on the sofa: "But that's not my fault, they were too noisy yesterday."

"It's the same as if you weren't crazy together."

Reluctantly curling his legs, he didn't hesitate to put them on top of Clint as he threw himself onto the couch.Mr. Elf glanced at the piles of empty wine bottles on the ground, and couldn't help snorting:

"Need Jarvis play you yesterday's song? I swear it's the scariest thing I've ever heard in my life. Seriously, it's a miracle Natasha didn't strangle you right then and there."

"I suspect she did try to do that."

Touching his still aching neck, Clint rolled his eyes towards the ceiling, not wanting to recall what happened to him when he drank the fragments yesterday: "To be honest, this kind of party Tony should definitely avoid Several times. Even Saul was so drunk that I don't want to think about how much we drank yesterday..."

He chattered and complained in a thick nasal voice.Clint rubbed his head, which was still not sober, and turned his head to seek the approval of the other party on the sofa, but unexpectedly found that Mr. Elf had a dull expression on his face, as if he had taken his son out for a walk and found himself He came back but his son didn't look like that, he just froze in place, with a strange and dazed guilt on his face.

"Sol..."

Only now did I remember what I forgot.Garald stared at Clint for a long time, until he looked hairy, and then jumped up from the sofa.The long legs on Hawkeye accidentally kicked him in the ribs in a panic, almost kicking him to the ground.

"Jarvis?!" There was unconcealable panic in the voice, and Mr. Elf looked up at the ceiling: "Did you tell him where to find me later?"

"Yes, Mr. Garrod."

Almost at the same time as being called out, the AI's calm and steady metallic voice sounded in the lounge: "But Mr. Saul was unable to enter Captain Rogers' room, so he went back to the lounge to find Agent Romanov help."

Jarod suddenly felt dizzy.

"...Wait, what were you doing in the captain's room last night..."

He was confused about their sudden conversation, but it didn't prevent Clint from finding the surprising point. However, Mr. Elf ignored him, just still staring at the ceiling: "And then? What happened?"

"Then Agent Romanov came down with Mr. Saul to check on the situation."

As if he didn't know that he was reporting a piece of news that made the elves despair, Jarvis replied politely:

"She stood outside the captain's room for five minutes and seven seconds, took Mr. Saul back to the waiting room, and poured six bottles of vodka on Mr. Saul before he could ask a question, and at the same time asked no one to be in your room. Or Captain Rogers' floor near the captain before he came out of the room."

"..."

Garrod fell silent.

There is no doubt that Natasha definitely already knows something.

And the moment she wakes up, appears in front of him and decides to speak, it will be the beginning of Mr. Elf's nightmare.

However, taking a step back and thinking about it, he might also be a little thankful that the person Thor went to help was the Black Widow, not Iron Man.After all, Garald has no doubts that with Tony's temper, he will definitely ask Jarvis to open the door of Steve's room, and then swagger in to watch how they rolled from the closet to the bed, and make a comment--say Really, for two first-time spinsters, being broken into while the excitement is high may cast an indelible shadow on them for a long time after that.

So, things aren't that bad after all?

Comforting himself so feebly, Jarod resisted the urge to rush out the door to stay away from the Avengers Building, took a deep breath, slowly lowered his head, but unexpectedly met Hawkeye's thoughtful gaze.

...No, things are obviously bad.

"so."

Looking at Jarod's expression was hard to describe, Clint blinked, raised a finger, and his tone sounded suspicious and excited: "You stayed in the room with the captain all night yesterday, and you were on... "

"Watch your words, Barton."

Cutting off his words directly, Garrod's tone was threatening.

Not wanting to be constantly reminded of the elves' achievements in hand-to-hand combat, Clint amended his words graciously.

"That's what-"

"Neither this one."

"Or sex—"

"You dare to speak out and try."

"……"That--

After thinking for a while, Hawkeye slapped his thigh and held Mr. Elf's hand: "So, you and the captain have been sexing all night!"

Garrod: ...

Unable to hold back, he punched him in the face.

10 minute later.

With two symmetrical panda eyes on the left and right, Clint made breakfast and pushed a piece of toast to the elf.Although he had just suffered an unprecedented beating, he was still full of energy, staring at Jialuode's every move, hehehe laughed very piercingly.

"Speaking of which, why didn't I realize that the clothes on your body belonged to the captain?"

Once you pay attention, you won't miss Mr. Elf's vaguely uncoordinated movements and the faint traces in the neckline.Clint brought out his own bacon omelette and sat across from him, his eyes seemed to be shining brightly: "Oh my God, the captain is finally no longer a hundred-year-old virgin!"

Garrod glanced at him, but said nothing.

"Seriously, do you want to share? Maybe I can give you some life experience."

Pounding the dish with a fork made annoying noises.Eagle eyes stared at Mr. Elf who was slowly forking a piece of broccoli on the opposite side, and he remembered something, and his tone was full of emotion: "I didn't expect you to grow up too."

"..."

After chewing two bites of his own breakfast, Garrod stared back.The two looked at each other silently for a while, and finally Mr. Elf put down the fork, thought for a while, and said after considering, "Is this a very important matter?"

"What?" Hawkeye stopped sending fried eggs to his mouth.

"It's me and the captain..." After a pause, the word rolled around on the tip of his tongue, but he still didn't say it in the end.Jialuode raised his chin towards the other party, his face didn't change much, but the tips of his ears were slightly red: "According to human habits, is it also a very important thing?"

"This, it should be."

Not sure why he suddenly asked, Clint thought for a while, and said truthfully: "Although most people can't just maintain this kind of relationship with one person for a lifetime, it's the first time for you after all, and I think it's about the same. It's important... wait, is this your first time?"

A little surprised why he had doubts about this, Jarod nodded.

"It's your first time?!" Hawkeye's reaction surprised the elf even more.He stared at him with an expression as if he had seen a ghost: "You are a fucking living fossil that is almost [-] years old, and it was the first time yesterday?!?"

"Is that weird?"

Jialuode looked confused: "I've never been married, is it normal for the first time?"

This sentence contains a lot of information, and Clint didn't realize it for a while.But when he realized the profound meaning contained in Mr. Elf's words, he suddenly opened his eyes wide, with an expression as if someone had stuffed a piece of supreme dog food into his mouth.

"you……"

His lips moved, and Hawkeye couldn't help raising the fork, pointing at the other party tremblingly: "So you were actually begging the captain last night—"

However, before he could finish speaking, Jarod stood up abruptly and covered his mouth across the table, almost suffocating Clint to death.

"..."

Why are you ashamed now that you have done everything?

Being strangled by the elf, Clint desperately grabbed his hand while trying to express his accusations and dissatisfaction.But soon he was slapped on the back of the head by the opponent.

"Shh, didn't you hear?" Garald whispered in his ear, lowering his voice.

... What do you hear?

Clint was dumbfounded.But soon, he heard a regular knocking sound, from low to high, and finally even like thunder, echoing in the lounge with a deafening roar.

"What the hell is this?"

Almost jumped up from the chair in fright, Hawkeye involuntarily widened his eyes: "Where did it come from?!"

"It should be floor-to-ceiling windows."

Pulled his table knife from Clint's hand and held it in his hand.Jarod lowered his center of gravity and slowly moved towards the window covered by the curtains, while Hawkeye picked up a wine bottle from the bar and followed him closely.The two cautiously approached the source of the sound like this, stopped at the same time when there was the last half meter left, stood in place, and then Mr. Elf stretched out his hand, gently touched the somewhat rough curtain fabric, and looked back.

Standing where he could support him at any time, Clint gestured an "OK" gesture to Mr. Elf.

Nod.Garald took a deep breath, flicked his wrist, and instantly pulled the curtain aside——

"Peng!"

Under the stunned gaze of the two, a colorful bird with no name could flap its wings, hit the glass outside the Avengers Building from mid-air, and did not give up when it was bounced off, again and again, It seems that it will not stop until the glass is smashed.

"Uh……"

His expression froze for a moment.Jialude was silent for a while, then turned to look at Hawkeye, who was also grinning from ear to ear: "What is this?"

"It's a bird."

Clint answered mechanically.

"Your relatives?"

It has an unparalleled intimacy with its rounded body.Garald heard the sound of machine gun-like bangs in his ears, and couldn't help twitching the corners of his mouth, wondering if it had smashed his head: "Can you communicate with it?"

"...Then you should probably go find Falcon." Clint glanced at him: "And you claim to be able to communicate with everything, aren't you an elf? Are you a fake?"

"I'm not."

A slap on the back of his head successfully made him stumble.Garald put down the table knife in his hand, stepped forward and fumbled for the bolt between the two windows, trying to open it and let in the crazy bird.

Hawkeye stood behind him and helped.

"Seriously, can ordinary birds fly so high?"

After seeing that there was no glass barrier, he crashed into the lounge and fell to the ground, the dizzy fat bird.Clint raised his eyebrows, very suspicious: "It doesn't look like he's lost his way."

"It's really abnormal." Picking it up and holding it in the palm of his hand, Jarod's expression suddenly became very strange: "If it is indeed a real bird."

"What do you mean?" Clint was surprised.

"It seems to be Merlin's... magic?"

Can feel a familiar force, and quickly recognize that it should belong to the mage far away in England.Garald carefully looked at the little guy lying in his palm pretending to be dead, and poked his finger out of curiosity. At the same time, Hawkeye leaned over and checked it over and over with the bird's paw.Then, I didn't know where it came across, the originally colorful fat bird suddenly exploded into a cloud of colorful smoke, rushing towards Jarod, scaring the two of them.

"Here is a message from Merlin."

He took a step back, wanting to avoid the smoke, but was nailed in place by a sudden sound in his ear.Garrod waved his hand halfway, stopped in the air, and looked at Hawkeye: "Merlin?"

The cloud of mist didn't answer, as if it had been set in advance, and said flatly in the tone of the mage: "I found something, I must let you see it in person, please come and meet me as soon as possible. "

"Ah? This is no problem."

Although there is no information revealed in this sentence, if Merlin can send a message by magic, what he discovered should be very important.Garald stood there in a daze for a few seconds, then quickly realized and nodded: "Then where can I find you?"

"Please come...&%￥#&#&#..."

The following words were swallowed by a strange noise, neither Jarod nor Clint heard clearly.Just when the elf frowned and wanted to take a step closer to ask again, the colorful mist suddenly seemed to have been turned on by some switch, and golden light began to glow from the edge, and at a speed visible to the naked eye' Hey, he rushed towards him, and the moment neither of them reacted, Garald was wrapped in it.

A strong sense of dizziness and the feeling of being pulled exploded in the brain.

"Hey!"

At the moment when the mist surrounded the elf, he instinctively reached out, trying to pull him out, but he was still a step too late.Hawkeye watched the other party's figure flicker in front of his eyes, and was immediately submerged in the golden light for a moment.And when the lounge returned to calm, except for a few colorful bird feathers in place, there was no sign of anyone else.

"...Garrod?!"

Maintaining the posture of reaching out, Clint looked confused.

-------

at the same time.

Jumping out of the golden suspension circle, before Jialude had time to see what was going on around him, his knees gave way, and he fell forward involuntarily, falling into a ball with the equally stunned person in front of him.

"Merlin?"

Touching the warm body under his body, Mr. Elf stood up abruptly, looked down, and stared at the unexpected but reasonable face in front of him: "What's going on? What did you do?"

"I--"

Lying on the ground, holding a tattered ancient book in his hand.Merlin looked at Garald who suddenly appeared in front of him, and then at the indecipherable tadpole-like words on the parchment, his face blushed completely.

"I... I, I, I seem to have pronounced the spell wrong."

"..."