[Comprehensive British and American] Old popsicle online dating rules

After Captain America chatted to death with one sentence, the scene returned to deathly silence again.

Sitting among the orc corpses all over the floor, Deadpool, who had just experienced the most tragic and inhumane blow in his life, was silent for a while, staring at Garald, who had an extremely complicated expression in front of him, and said every word full of blood and tears: "As an elf, what do you do? Can you be so ruthless?"

"Have you misunderstood the elves?"

Looking away from the clouds in the sky, Jialuode pouted his lips, trying to squeeze out a kind smile, but in the end he could only twist the corners of his mouth into a strange arc: "And, you have to admit that this is actually yours." Wrong, I didn't expect you to suddenly appear like that."

And fortunately, he didn't die, and he happened to hit the bottom of his own blade, so he couldn't do it if he didn't want someone to cut him down.

Looking at the weapon that was still stuck on Deadpool's body, Mr. Elf suddenly felt a little distressed.

——It's not that I feel sorry for Deadpool, but for his knife.

It was forged with the help of Lord Jinhua.

"Stop talking, you're just being very unfriendly to me."

Angrily pulled out the knife and threw it to the side, Dead Servant jumped up from the ground, pointed at Jarod's nose and began to complain: "You are ruthless, unreasonable, unreasonable and discriminating! Look at him—"

As he spoke, he turned his arm, drew an exaggerated arc in the air, and almost poked Steve in the face again:

"—Look at this national treasure of the United States! You took the initiative to throw yourself into your arms, kiss me and me, and even took a bite very tenderly. You almost ruined my sexual happiness for the rest of my life?! You won't Do you feel guilty? Doesn’t your conscience hurt? Do you not love me at all!!”

Garrod: ...

Steve:  …

"He doesn't love you in the first place, thank you. Don't add drama to yourself casually."

Rolling his eyes towards the sky, the president's father who was silently watching at the side finally couldn't take it anymore, stood up at the right time, and began to protect the cub without hesitation:

"I believe that elves are still a race with normal aesthetics, okay? I heard Romanov say that no one would like a guy who casually broke into himself and pulled himself off a building, let alone a guy in tights A pervert wearing a hood…Of course, Cap, I’m not targeting you at the same time, you’re a sweetheart wearing tights… Seriously, Jiajia, you really don’t like this kind of red and black pervert who hides her head and shows her tail, right?”

"Correct."

Upon receiving Tony's questioning gaze, Garrod nodded with dignity, with a serious expression on his face: "I like open-minded, mature and steady human beings, preferably older. Of course, it would be even better if they still have blond hair."

"……"Oh.

Mature, steady, old.

Also blonde.

Captain America and Deadpool touched their heads at the same time.The former nodded thoughtfully.The latter felt that he was being targeted, and was about to step forward to argue with Iron Man, but in the next second, a bullet grazed the toe of his shoe. With a "clang", a shallow bullet hole was smashed on the ground, and he stopped immediately. out of his footsteps.

"Yo, isn't this Wade?"

After speaking in this way, the black widow walked up the stairs leisurely, followed by Hawkeye who was watching the show.His eyes swept across the magnificent half-orc corpses on the top of the building. Clint said "Wow", raised his chin at Jarod, and then threw something in the past. After drawing a beautiful parabola in the air, Clint Accurate in the palm of your hand.

He looked down, and saw that it was another short knife that he accidentally dropped from the twelfth floor when he was dragged by Deadpool to jump off the twelfth floor.

Jarod nodded gratefully at Clint.

"It's nothing. I picked it up from downstairs." He waved his hand, signaling that he was welcome.Hawkeye quickly looked at Deadpool who was still walking, and smiled gloatingly, obviously knowing what happened just now: "Something is missing, huh?"

Deadpool: ...Fuck.

Obviously, he didn't expect his car rollover scene to spread so fast.Deadpool waved his arms angrily, made a [beep——] gesture to Hawkeye, stood still and began to reason with him:

"Just a little bit, a little bit!!! Why can you Avengers be so careless?!"

"That's not the same."

"That's a lot worse!! And even if I don't have Lao Tzu, I can grow it by myself, can you!!"

"I can't, but I don't need it either. I haven't been 'almost ruined my sex for the rest of my life'."

"..."

very pitiful.

Seeing Deadpool choked to death by Clint, the widow commented.But immediately, she stopped paying attention to the two people who were getting more and more noisy, but focused on the captain who had been thinking about something with his head down, and folded her arms with great interest. He stared at the bite mark on his chin and raised an eyebrow.

"How do you feel?" She smiled slightly.

"It should hurt a little, I didn't notice it." Steve replied truthfully.But soon, as if he remembered something, he raised his head again and looked at Natasha thoughtfully, with an expectant expression on his face: "I think what you said before is actually quite reasonable."

"What did I say?"

"I might still have a chance."

Oh, the cabbage essence thing.

The widow nodded knowingly.Then, he poured cold water on him mercilessly: "But unfortunately, I don't think so now."

"..."

Never expecting that she would suddenly betray the revolution, Steve froze in place: "Why?!"

"Because I now think you're an ineffective idiot."

The widow raised her chin behind him: "Here, see for yourself."

Confused, Captain America immediately turned around and followed her gaze.

-------------

5 minutes ago.

Jarod was watching Hawkeye and Deadpool arguing with great interest when he felt someone poke his arm.And in the end, even Falcon, who had just finished cleaning the battlefield, and Iron Man, who was idling by the side, also joined the battle, and soon changed from a three-on-one unilateral crush to a four-person mutual confrontation, full of talk , It's so noisy that it shouldn't be too lively.

Garald felt that he had a new posture.

And just when he was so happy to watch, he was about to move a bench to pick up a handful of melon seeds, but the hard touch from his arm interrupted the crowd and immediately drew his attention.

Mr. Elf turned his head in doubt.

He found that Thor from Asgard was looking at him eagerly, holding the short knife that was just thrown back by Deadpool in his hand, poking his forearm with the handle of the knife.Seeing the elf turn around, a friendly smile soon appeared on his face.

"This is yours."

Passing the hilt to Garrod, Thor nodded, not stingy with his praise: "This knife is beautiful, and the magic power attached to it is also very powerful, not much worse than Asgard's weapons."

"Thank you."

Naturally, he could hear the sincerity in his tone, and Jarod's impression of this Avengers member whom he met for the first time suddenly improved.After all, there is no one who doesn't like others to praise what he likes, not to mention that he and Glorfindel tried to forge these two short knives. For this reason, many flowers and plants in Rivendell were blown away, and Elrond was so angry De almost drove them straight out of the valley.Of course, the elves would be very happy that there are still people who can appreciate such a memory-filled thing in the 21st century.

Thinking of this, it was rare for him to take the initiative to reach out his hand, and smiled gently at Sol: "I am Jarod."

"Thor, son of Odin."

He also reached out to shake hands with him, and gave Garald a warm hug by the way.Thor patted him on the back, and seemed to like this strange elf whom he met for the first time: "You are Steve's friend, that is, my friend, just call me by my name."

"……Row."

Squeezed between Sol's pecs and arms, Jarod almost suffocated in his tight embrace.Patting the opponent's strong arm, motioning him to let go of himself, the elf couldn't help turning his eyes around his chest, then glanced at Captain America who was talking to the black widow not far away, and couldn't help but compare them Which of them is more... exaggerated.

Obviously, he didn't know that someone was already thinking deeply about his chest.Letting Jarod out of his arms, Sol looked him up and down, his eyes flicked from the black hair that had become messy from the fight just now, and stopped on his sharp ears that were different from ordinary people, like Suddenly remembered something, and his expression became thoughtful.

"Are you an elf?" He asked suddenly.

"Yes."

I don't think there is anything to hide about this, not to mention that Tony had already discussed his race issue when he hated Deadpool just now.Garald nodded quickly, and wanted to reach out to stroke the hair back to where it should be, but in the next second, he was taken aback by Sol's words, and his fingers froze on his temples.

"I have heard Heimdall speak of you, most beautiful creations in the Atrium."

Looking straight into Garrod's eyes, Thor said:

"But since your group went to sea, the stories about you have become legends, and humans haven't seen elves in this land for many years—"

"So." After a pause, his eyes were filled with pure curiosity: "Why didn't you go westward with your group?"

Garrod's heart skipped a beat.

"Why on earth are you unwilling to travel west with me?"

The surrounding scenery suddenly became blurred in his eyes, as if covered by a layer of water.In a daze, he seemed to be standing in front of the ships that were about to set sail in Gray Harbor again, while Glorfindel, with his red eyes open, turned around amidst the horns going out to sea, and finally said to the elves seeing him off for the first time in a month. sentence.

He was silent for a long time.In the end, it is also difficult to answer.

"I have no idea."

"I do not know."

The endings of the past and the present overlap, and Garald hears his own voice linking memories and the present, giving different people the same answer in the same tone.Seeing the apparent bewilderment and bewilderment on his face, Lei Shen also understandingly did not continue to ask, but patted him on the shoulder and thoughtfully changed the subject.

"Then would you like to tell me about your ethnic group?" Sol shook his arm with his arms around Jarod's shoulders, his face full of unaffected sincerity: "In return, next time I can take you to Take a look at Asgard and try our ale. There's no one in the Nine Realms who doesn't like it, and I'm sure the elves are no exception."

"Okay."

Swayed back and forth by his strength, Jarod quickly put aside the little sadness just now, and nodded in agreement.

At this time, Coulson finally arrived late with the agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and surrounded the entire apartment.Seeing the people who cleaned up the mess came, Tony also snorted, ended the childish quarrel with the other three, clapped his hands, and began to greet the Avengers to leave in an orderly manner.

"Then let's go first!"

Picking up the hammer, Sol turned his head and greeted the president's father loudly.

"can!"

He also yelled back loudly.Tony nodded, but soon realized that the number of personal pronouns was wrong: "...Wait, who are you?"

"Me and Garrod!"

The final epilogue came from mid-air and quickly dissipated in the air.So, when Captain America finished his conversation with Black Widow and turned his head to look at her reminder, he caught a glimpse of Sol grabbing his netizen's shoulder, throwing Thor's hammer, and disappeared with a 'huh'.

Steve was dumbfounded.

Wait, why don't we ride together?What hammer to sit on? !Don't take me with you? ! !

"So, you are not the only one with blonde hair and big breasts in the Avengers. Have you misunderstood something, Rogers."

She stretched out her hand and patted him on the shoulder. Natasha's expression now was hard to tell whether it was sympathy or gloating:

"I now feel that Garrod really likes Sol more than you, what should I do?"

team leader:……