[Comprehensive British and American] Old popsicle online dating rules

"That's the point of what you want to tell me."

Sitting in the sofa lounge of the Avengers Building, staring at Captain America who was almost slumped on the sofa in front of him, Falcon said with such a deadpan expression: "You and your "Zha Jinhua" online dating, "Zha Jinhua" Flower" was Garald, and Garald liked his friend Glorfindel. "

Steve snorted.

This is really, so fucking wonderful, a love triangle.

"Okay." After listening to the scene of the captain's car rollover, Sam's heart is not fluctuating now, and he even wants to laugh: "Then why are you looking for me? I have never been in an online relationship."

"But you can always give me some advice." The captain raised his face buried in his hands, his eyes full of expectation: "Aren't you a psychological counselor?"

"Yes, I am." Sam rolled his eyes: "But do you remember, Captain. I work in the Veterans Service Center, and my business scope does not include marriage counseling, okay?"

Steve:  …

"Listen, Sam."

Although he was brutally rejected, this did not stop Captain America's determination to drag everyone into the water together.Sitting up straight from the sofa, Steve looked upright at the Falcon in front of him, with serious and serious eyes:

"You are Captain America's companion and the most loyal comrade-in-arms. Whenever I encounter any difficult difficulties, the first thing I think of is you. Do you know what kind of feelings this shows?"

"...What do you mean?" Falcon was confused.

"This shows that I trust you very much, and I am very sure that you can help me. Whether it is on the battlefield or elsewhere, even if it is just a small love problem, I look forward to your unreserved help to me— —Sam, Captain America needs you now."

Falcon: ...

Ok.

Although he clearly knew that he was being fooled seriously by Steve.But in the face of that sincere and contagious speech, he still had the illusion that he was really important, and shamefully bowed his head to Captain America's forces: "Please tell your story."

As soon as he mentioned this, he immediately became sluggish again. Steve sighed heavily and shrank back to the sofa, like a two hundred-pound squirrel curled up in a tree hole: "Seriously, Sam, I really Didn't know that "Fried Golden Flower" was actually Garrod. "

If you had known earlier, there wouldn't be so many troubles now, and I wouldn't have to despair every day to quit the team.

The brows couldn't help twitching, Falcon thought silently, motioning for Steve to continue.

And the captain's expression became even more bitter.

"But if you think about it carefully, it doesn't seem to be surprising. After all, the first time I met Garrod was at the cake shop recommended to me by "Fried Golden Flower"; after that, I met him in SHIELD and the Avengers Building , when I was chatting with "Fried Golden Flower", Garrod never opened his mouth; and before we went to the Hydra base, he also told me that he was going to go out for a few days and couldn't go online. I was surprised at the time , "Zhi Jinhua" has always worked in one place before, and there has never been such a saying as going on a business trip—"

Couldn't help pulling his hair, Steve felt that he was simply a dull idiot: "Oh my god, the clues are so obvious, why haven't I found them all the time!"

Because you are in your 90s, dementia is normal.

I couldn't help the urge to complain about the captain, but Sam didn't dare to say it so directly.So, after thinking about it, he silently changed to a milder statement, desperately trying to make his eyes look sincere and harmless: "Maybe you just need to eat more walnuts..."

After a pause, Sam added another sentence: "To nourish the brain, it can also enlarge the breasts."

Steve:  …

Thanks, Captain America is disappointed in you.

"Besides, I may have lost my relationship before I even started."

Pretending that he had never heard Falcon speak, the captain wiped his face and continued to bring the topic back.

He hadn't realized this problem when he first heard Garrod mention Glorfindel, but he suddenly lost his horse in "Zha Jinhua", at this moment.A question that once made Steve feel very uncomfortable also began to surface in front of him, like a cat's paw, scratching his heart: "He seems to like that golden flower so much, I don't know what to do .”

"Looks like?" Accurately grasping the point of the captain's words, Sam raised his eyebrows: "He admitted it himself?"

"No."

"Then why don't you try asking him out?"

Feeling like a broken parent, Sam sighed silently, and suddenly missed the Black Widow who was in Madagascar very much: "You have to try to know if it works, what if he and that Glorfindel are really just friends? ? Anyway, your relationship is so good, it is not impossible to go further."

"No, it's not that simple, Sam." Steve shook his head: "The relationship between Captain America and him is not to such an extent, he is only familiar with the "Star-Spangled Banner". "

"Then go to Garrod and admit that you are his netizen."

"No."

"why?!"

"I can't face him at all."

That's not an exaggeration, Steve thought.His current psychological shadow area is about to break out of the earth and go into the universe. Even if he looks at Jarod, he feels embarrassed, but now he has to stand in front of the elf and tell him, hey, I am your netizen. You, have you squatted downstairs in your house for a while, and secretly rubbing the "Star-Spangled Banner" that you want to develop a relationship beyond the friendship of comrades-in-arms?

Really, forgive him.

"Oh, then there's nothing I can do about it."

Although he couldn't understand what kind of mentality Steve was in now, Sam still felt distressed.However, before he could contemplate how to comfort him, the door of the lounge was suddenly slowly pushed open from the outside, quickly attracting the attention of the two of them.

"...I didn't bother you, did I?"

As soon as he entered the door, he was nailed in place by two pairs of eyes, one of them was stunned, and soon moved away unnaturally, Jialuode was a little confused now: "I just came in to get something, and I will go out immediately .”

"It's okay, this is a public area."

Unexpectedly, just after they finished talking about the elves, the elves came to the door.Falcon made a gesture of "Please go ahead", glanced at Captain America who was stiff all over and seemed unable to speak at all, and could only accept his fate to speak for him:

"Speaking of which, how is your injury? Can you get out of bed?"

"almost."

Looking at Steve blushing strangely, Garald didn't think much, turned out from behind the door, and walked towards the refrigerator behind the bar with his long legs: "However, it will take two days to wait for strenuous exercise, but now a little Nothing will happen if you walk away."

As he spoke, he opened the refrigerator door and looked at the shelves filled with donuts and biscuits, speechless for a while.In the end, he fixed his gaze on the top floor, the can of coke pitifully crowded in the corner.

He reached out slowly.

However, before Mr. Elf touched his target, he suddenly felt a gust of wind rushing from the sofa and blowing behind him.Immediately, a warm hand covered the back of his hand, gently but absolutely forcefully pulled him back from the refrigerator.

Stunned for a moment, Garrod looked back, and happened to meet Captain America's face full of disapproval.

Garrod: ...

Falcon: ...

Wait, you feel awkward just looking at what you agreed to do, and you can't face it at all?Why are you still holding his little hand now? ! ! !

Turning his head suddenly, looking at the empty sofa in front of him, Sam Wilson felt that he had been cruelly deceived.

"Your injury just happened not long ago, and it's still on your back. If you stretch out your hand like this, the wound will easily open."

He seemed to have forgotten that he didn't dare to look at the elf just now, and wanted to bury himself in the sofa.Steve stared at the can of Coke almost in disgust, frowning tightly, like a housewife who caught her son stealing junk food: "Besides, Coke is not good for your health, you will get sick, drink it if you have nothing to do." What Coke."

"...Then what should I drink?"

He thought that their elves were not sick at all, but seeing Steve's serious and serious expression, Garald still held back and did not say anything, and glanced at the two people who were still overlapping each other with a complicated face. right hand.

"Drink milk."

He was completely unaware that he was still covered with the back of the elf's hand, and he was very suspected of being a hooligan.The captain glanced into the refrigerator, took out a box of infant milk hidden behind the biscuit, and handed it to Garrod:

"It's Clint's. I think he seems to drink it every day. Maybe you young people will like it."

"..."

Suddenly, he felt that he might have spied a little secret that Hawkeye couldn't tell.Garrod opened his mouth and held back for a while, but finally he couldn't hold back.

"I'm... not too young anymore."

He hesitated to say so.However, before Mr. Elf could decide whether to report his real age or not, and whether it would have a devastating impact on the captain's three views, Falcon had already slowly approached him, leaning against the bar, and quickly Help him take off another layer of vest.

"He is 9872 years old this year, captain."

Seeing Captain America's suddenly blank expression, Sam chuckled, feeling a subtle pleasure of revenge in his heart:

"Based on the five-year-old generation gap, you are now separated by the entire distance of the Mariana Trench."

……Oh.

He felt that nothing in this world could surprise him anymore.Steve put the milk back into the refrigerator in a daze, reached out and took out the innermost part, and then took out a box with the same packaging but with a different color, and stuffed it into the elf's hand.

"Then you drink this, Clint recommended it to me."

I don't know how to react at all.Garald took it blankly, looked down, and happened to see the advertisement printed on the front——

'A catty of milk a day makes the elderly strong. '

Garrod: ...

Falcon: ...

He turned around and left, leaving the two old men who were facing each other in a daze in the lounge.Sam Wilson stood in the corridor, closed the door silently, took out his mobile phone from his pocket, and dialed Black Widow resolutely and calmly.

"Hey, please come back soon, Natasha."

He said blankly:

"The captain may have gone crazy."