you are the minutiae of the world

Recently, I found that my memory is not very good. I can’t fully recall many things when I was young, as if those youthful years have nothing to do with me. What I can remember are those innocuous ones. The appearance after waking up on the bed, but I remember that the sun was so bright that day, it was the warmest sunshine I have ever felt in my life so far.

That day was the last day of the holiday, my dorm roommate hadn’t returned home, Du Chen was lying on my bed stretched out, he was in a deep sleep, I squatted on the ground, looking at him in embarrassment and helplessness, I have no experience in taking care of drunks, but I was also afraid that he would fall asleep without taking off his shoes. I carefully took off his expensive sneakers and placed him beside the bed. I wanted to wipe his face with my towel, but Afraid that he would dislike him after waking up, he could only moisten his cheeks slowly and gently with a tissue.

I don't know why I serve him like this, maybe it's because of the vanity of being alone with the famous people in the school, maybe it's because of his handsome face, maybe it's because I want to please him... I can't remember why, well, it doesn't really matter, anyway, that's how we started to meet.

Later, he woke up in my bed, rubbed his temples aching from hangover, frowned and looked at me lying on the table all night, his tone was not very good, but what he said was heartwarming: "I'll trouble you yesterday You've been lying on the table all night? Isn't it uncomfortable?"

I was uncomfortable, but I didn't say it, I shook my head.

He said, treat me to dinner another day.

I didn't take it seriously, and I didn't dare to take it seriously.

After he said goodbye to me, he went back by himself. In the next week, we returned to the way we were before, except that occasionally when we met in the stairwell, he nodded to me. He is very busy, and the teacher likes him very much. The classmates like him very much. He has a lot of social activities, but he can handle them with ease, and he looks cheerful anytime, anywhere.I think he probably forgot that he wanted to invite me to dinner. I dare not ask, but I have some inexplicable expectations. I don’t know if it is this inexplicable expectation that makes me stay in my Hate this school.

He did not miss the appointment. One day after the senior high school entrance examination, he knocked on the door of my dormitory while I was packing up my things to go home.

The nine-year compulsory education was over, and I thought it was time for me to leave school—and then I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Let's have dinner together at night," he said naturally, "after eating, let's sing together."

I froze, still holding the luggage bag in my hand.

"Why are you in a daze? It's the hotel I often go to in the city center. Do you know the way?" He glanced at the bag in my hand and asked casually, "Why are you packing up? Don't wait for the grades to come out?"

The chances of the students in the provincial key middle schools being promoted to senior high school are 90.00%. Unless there are special circumstances, the children in this school will not transfer easily, so the dormitory will not be closed after the high school entrance examination. Let us wait for the results in the dormitory, by the way. Divide high school classes.

I didn't explain. I guess Du Chen didn't want to hear it. Even if he did, he wouldn't understand, but I... didn't want to refuse him. His invitation was like a midnight party invitation from the prince to Cinderella. The prince asked Cinderella I entered the high society, and Du Chen's invitation gave me the opportunity to experience the normal "social interaction" I was looking forward to.

Yes, Du Chen gave me an invitation letter.

I took it and stepped into his world.

I used to think that was my world too.

I followed Du Chen into the luxurious restaurant.It was a place where I didn't even dare to look up when I was passing by. That night, I walked in and came to the high-end private room inside, sitting in a corner awkwardly and nervously.

I lowered my head, not daring to look at the classmates beside me.

I am also afraid of the ridicule and mocking eyes of my classmates.

I backed down.

But he pulled me up, put his hands on my shoulders, and introduced me generously.

"Wang Jin, my friend, the protagonist of this dinner, if it weren't for him, none of you would have had this meal."

He smiled with crooked brows and eyes, and patted me on the shoulder. There was no trace of sarcasm in his eyes, and he smiled warmly.

I also laughed unconsciously.

I don't remember how delicious the luxurious meal was, or what the wine was toasted by my classmates, but I remember that I was drunk.

I was drunk because of a boy's hearty and generous smile.

I went back to the dormitory and took out the packed luggage one by one.Then I went back to my hometown and went to the government to apply for high school student subsidies.

School doesn't seem so boring, I thought, sitting on the bumpy bus.

Yeah, my high school wasn't boring, it was even wonderful, like a black and white movie.

dong dong dong.

I heard a knock on the door, I got up, went to the door and opened it.

There are people outside.

It's Du Chen.

He was wearing a black handmade suit and a simple woolen coat. His forehead was a little sweaty, and a few strands of his hair combed back fell on his forehead. His nose was slightly red, his lips were slightly parted, and he was panting slowly. He is very handsome, compared with his youth, he has more mature charm, I saw the sunflower bouquet in his hand, and silently took a step back.

He seemed to be stabbed by my actions, and his eyes showed sadness.

"I heard you're moving out," he said eagerly, trying to raise his foot to approach me, but silently withdrew his foot: "I..." He held the bouquet in front of him and handed it to me. He said: "Can I accept it..." As soon as he finished speaking, the biggest sunflower in the bouquet fell to the ground. Du Chen stopped holding the flower in the air, and he was stunned for a moment. Some sadly said: "I ran too fast, I'm sorry... I... I'll buy you another bunch..."

I looked at him quietly, keeping a safe distance from him, and waited for him to finish.

He turned around and wanted to leave, as if he was going to buy another bouquet of flowers, but when he remembered something, he turned around and asked me carefully: "You.....Can you wait for me to come back?"

He looks even a little pitiful, I thought so in my heart, but apart from this thought, there was no other fluctuation in my heart.

"No need," I said to stop him: "Mr. Du, you don't need to buy any more."

"Xiao Jin..."

"My name is Wang Jin." I said, "Mr. Du, we should keep a safe distance, it's good for both of us."

"I know," he said, with an ugly smile on the corner of his mouth: "Look, I kept a safe distance from you, I didn't come close to you, didn't I, I just... I just wanted to send you off A bouquet of flowers."

I shook my head: "Sorry, I don't like sunflowers."

I closed the door: "Mr. Du, goodbye."

The door closed slowly, and I saw the unconcealable sadness in his eyes. I saw him bend down, and pick up the sunflowers on the ground very slowly.

I think of the flower language of sunflower: bravely pursue the happiness and silent love you want.

Just like my spirit of flying moths to a flame in those years.

No one told me that moths will die if they fly into the fire.