you are the minutiae of the world

Xu Tingjiang was holding a mobile phone with a black screen. He leaned his arms on the carved railing on the balcony of his living room and watched the fireworks in the night sky. few.

"What are you thinking?" Mu Song's voice came from behind, with a cigarette in his hand: "Smoking?"

Xu Tingchang shook his head: "Quit. I had a lot of night shifts and smoked a lot. Mom found out and told me to quit, otherwise I won't be allowed to go to work."

Mu Song smiled, lit the cigarette by himself, stood beside him, and started smoking: "You should listen to your mother, otherwise she will always blame me."

"What's your fault?" Xu Tingjiang said helplessly, "Uncle."

"It's my fault for bringing you down. Like me, I haven't looked for a date when I'm too old." Mu Song said lightly: "Your mother sent me to urge the marriage, but you are in a bad mood." Mu Song glanced at Xu Tingchao The mobile phone asked: "Call someone in time for the New Year's bell, my partner?"

Xu Tingjiang couldn't help but smile bitterly: "It's a patient."

"Psychiatrists are so caring?" Mu Song chuckled, "It's rare, Doctor Xu."

Xu Tingchang didn't look at Mu Song, turned his head to look at the gorgeous and splendid fireworks in the sky for a while, and then said after a while, with a distressed tone: "He is a special child."

Mu Song nodded. It seems that his nephew is looking for someone to talk to. His nephew is the same age as him, and the two grew up together. The nephew is a famous psychiatrist in H City. With a philanthropic personality, after graduating from university, he decided to go abroad to continue his studies regardless of his family's obstruction. Later, he returned to China and went to a hospital in H City to work as a psychiatrist. He worked as a psychiatrist for more than ten years.

After Xu Tingchang started working, Mu Song took over part of the family business from his sister and was very busy. He didn't know much about Xu Tingchang's work, and the two didn't pay much attention to each other's work. Work has affected his emotions and family. This is the first time Mu Song saw him unhappy because of work.

"Child?" Mu Song said, "Would you like to talk?"

"It doesn't count, he is already 27 or [-] this year."

"Ten years younger than you, are you still a child?" Mu Song said, "You are 37 this year." After Mu Song finished speaking, he stood there and listened quietly to Xu Tingchang. He knew that Xu Tingjiang wanted to tell.

"When I met him, he was only 12 years old. He was a patient I met during my internship before going abroad. A 12-year-old child, but he is a very special child. When he first came, I couldn't see it in his eyes. Any hope, any despair, calm like a pool of stagnant water."

"His father is very rich, and he lived in a single patient for three months. He stayed in that room silently for three months, took medicine on time, went to bed on time, and behaved ridiculously. Sitting in the room in a daze with a calm expression, we all thought he was normal," Xu Tingjiang slowly recalled: "But his father said that before he entered the hospital, he saw his mother jumping off the building with this expression. , to die in front of oneself."

"He's not normal." Mu Song seemed to have heard some strange story, aroused his curiosity: "You are professionals, you must have seen it."

"Well, he has a mental illness, but his family doesn't have it, and he hasn't had a brain injury, so something must have happened to him before. He is very smart, can chat with doctors and nurses, has complete logic, has direction, and speaks well. Clearly, the doctor in the hospital advised him to be hospitalized for treatment. I was young at the time and felt that such a young child might be ruined in a few years after being hospitalized, so I talked to him."

"I asked him if you want to go out."

"He said he didn't know."

"I asked him, do you want to die?"

"He said, and my mother said, I'm lucky to be alive."

Mu Song paused at this sentence, feeling a little familiar. It seemed that Qin Liang had said this to him a few months ago. Mu Song interrupted Xu Tingjiang: "What's his name?"

Xu Tingchang glanced at Mu Song and shook his head: "I can't tell you about the patient's privacy, but he should not be in this city. I heard from the director that his father wants to send him abroad."

Mu Song nodded, expressing his understanding.

"Later I asked him again, what do you most want to tell him when your mother is gone, and he was silent for a long time before telling me, I don't know, but he might know." Xu Tingjiang continued

"Split personality?" Mu Song asked.

"Well, maybe it's not obvious." Seeing the doubts on Mu Song's face, Xu Tingjiang continued: "He lived in the country with his mother before he was seven years old, and his father was doing business in the city. His mother loved his father very much, and his love was almost abnormal. However, his parents' marriage was due to his mother's willful behavior and the pressure of the elders in the family. His birth was not welcomed. Before he was seven years old, he was severely beaten and verbally hurt by his mother every day, but after each injury, his mother He would hold his serious confession, cry and say sorry, and he would spend every day in this cycle. When he was seven years old, his father made a fortune and took their mother and son to the city, but his father asked for a divorce and succeeded. Divorced, but the process was not beautiful. His mother was very unstable and caused a lot of trouble, so his mother's reputation was not good. He suffered a lot of exclusion and bullying in the city, and even almost died when it was serious. In the past few years, his mother's mood was even worse. On the day his mother committed suicide by jumping off a building, she took him and beat him, but after the beating, she hugged him and cried very sadly as usual, saying sorry over and over again, Then let him live well and jumped off."

After hearing this, Mu Song sighed a little. Indeed, as Xu Tingjiang said, this is a poor, even miserable child.

"Do you think he is pitiful?" Xu Tingjiang smiled: "He doesn't think that since he was very young, I don't know how old he was, he separated several personalities, as if protecting himself and punishing himself. He is aware of these things and knows their existence. He said that many times he is like an outsider standing in his body watching himself who was abused and forgiving his mother. He is always so calm because he can't understand people's emotions. He doesn't understand why he should cry, why should he laugh, why should he live, why should he die, so you can't see hope or despair in his eyes, how can such a child feel pitiful."

"Then why is he willing to tell you?" Mu Song asked: "I didn't talk to so many doctors, but I just told you."

"Because I promised to teach him to understand emotions." After Xu Tingjiang finished speaking, he was a little dazed, and after a while he said in a low voice: "Or maybe it's not the reason, I don't know... I don't know if I did it right, He can't understand emotions. In order to live on, he can only learn from others and make expressions to cater to the world. I often wonder if this will make him suffer more..."

"Didn't you say that he can't understand people's emotions?" Mu Song caught the loophole in Xu Tingjiang's words: "He doesn't understand emotions, how can he be in pain? You think too much, Tingjiang."

"That's right." Xu Tingjiang smiled: "Later he was discharged from the hospital. He was very smart. He was admitted to a university and lived a pretty good life."

"It's not very good," Mu Song didn't see the child in his nephew's mouth. Although he heard a very tragic childhood story, his mood didn't fluctuate much. After all, such tragic stories abound in movies and novels: "He just needs to live and not commit suicide."

"He won't commit suicide," Xu Tingjiang said, "If one day he really wants to commit suicide and doesn't want to live in this world, then he must have hoped for this world, maybe this child is also looking forward to this day. Xu Tingjiang took a deep breath, and said slowly: "Maybe I drank too much, I feel very emotional today, I feel that people are really amazing."

The elders behind them called them, and Mu Song and Xu Tingjiang finished their conversation and returned to the lively room.

The night of New Year's Eve is a sleepless night, the lively ones become more lively, and the lonely ones become more lonely.

Everyone got up very late in the first day of junior high school and slept in their own rooms. On the second day of junior high school, someone came to visit, and Mu Song went to greet him at the door in person. He was wearing casual home clothes, and it was obvious that the visit was someone he knew well.

Qin Lie's family stood at the door, Mu Song greeted them with a smile, and led them in.

Qin Yu and Qin Sheng were carrying something in their hands, Mu Song's sister Mu Ju saw it, and said with a smile, "I'm here to pick up something, Xiaolan, come and sit down," she greeted Lin Yunlan.

"Anyway, it's not far away, and we live across the street. These are good things that Qin Lie specially searched for," Lin Yunlan said with a smile, and walked up to talk to Mu Ju: "Don't refuse to accept it, sister."

The two of them live very close together. Mu Song's home is the villa that Qin Liang saw in the rearview mirror on the day of the rainstorm. Qin Liang knew where Mu Song's home was very early on.

But Mu Song didn't know that in his life, a small figure once appeared briefly.

Mu Song didn't give himself a long vacation. There were a lot of things in the company. When he set off from the Huaishan Banshan Villa, he happened to meet Qin Yu who was going out. Mu Song asked the driver to stop: "Where are you going?"

"Go to the company," Qin Yu smiled, "Can I take Uncle Mu's car?"

Mu Song motioned for Qin Yu to get into the car, and Qin Yu explained after sitting down, "My driver is on leave. There's been a lot of drinking lately, so I don't dare to drive."

"Well," Mu Song smiled gently, "It should be like this."

The two chatted casually about business matters. When they were about to arrive at Qin Yu's company, Mu Song suddenly asked Qin Yu, "How is your father?"

"It's okay," Qin Yu said, "My father has some old problems. As long as his body doesn't get angry, his body will be fine. In a few days, my mother even said that she wants to go for a walk with him to relax." Qin said Yu Xiaoxiao looked at Mu Song teasingly: "Last time, my mother said that she would introduce someone to Uncle Mu, so I just asked today, is Uncle Mu free?"

Mu Song shook his head with a smile, stretched out his hand and slapped Qin Yu's head lightly, his eyes were somewhat indulgent: "You dare to make fun of your elders at such a young age."

Qin Yu didn't hide, and squinted his eyes with a smile: "Uncle Mu, you are not a few years older than me. If you and my dad weren't friends, I would have called you by your name."

Mu Song raised his eyebrows, but said nothing.