Tang Seng is a cook

The Bodhisattva is reclining on the couch, closing his eyes and meditating.Not long after the little Dharma protector who came to sue left, the lotus flowers picked from the lotus pond were fresh, and the Bodhisattva wondered how long he could stay still, when Sun Houzi started chatting with the dragon girl outside.

God is annoying!

I can only get up and work overtime.

Avalokitesvara let out a "tsk", and just sat up, the monkey jumped in, with a playful smile on his face: "I have seen the Bodhisattva, I have seen the Bodhisattva!"

The bodhisattva's face was particularly unkind, and he thought that the monkey had been released, and it had been on the ground for four days, and there was something going on every day!

He had just returned from the mortal world to deliver things to Tang Yudi, and before he could rest his breath, he came back crying, dragging a piece of dirty and smelly tiger skin when his back foot landed on Jiashan Mountain God, saying that he would sue Tang Monk for disrespecting his master and apprentice. .

Let his grandma fart!

The mountain god had just been spit away by him, and he hadn't even looked at the lotus flower for a while, but the little dharma protector came again and wanted to sue, saying that the Tang monk ate seafood?

Is this a shit?

As a result, someone asked Longnu to throw him out. He hadn't stretched out on the couch yet, and the monkey came again!

One day in the sky, one year on earth.After three days on the ground, only a quarter of an hour has passed in his fairy cave!The revolving lanterns are not so diligent!

The Bodhisattva really wanted to slam his pick on the table, but he suppressed his anger and held back his anger. He decided in his mind that he must quickly find the guardian of the mountain, so that the monkey would not come to his purple bamboo forest, and it would be as easy as walking through the city gate. Said: "What's the matter?"

The monkey was not afraid of him at all, and said with a smile, "Nothing, nothing, everything is fine! It's just that my master doesn't see the Bodhisattva for a day, so I panic!"

Bodhisattva's eyelids twitched, and he was a little inexplicably happy when he heard this, but he held it back, still with a straight face, and let out a cold snort.

The monkey threw Zhao Wu in front of the Bodhisattva: "No, my master specially sent my grandson to give a big gift to the Bodhisattva!"

The veins on the Bodhisattva's forehead were popping out, and his disgusted face was unnecessarily obvious.

What the hell?If you want me, just send me an ugly male goblin? !

Since Zhao Wu came to Guanyin's territory, he lost his immortal spirit, and he was ordinary, with a purple face, unshaven beard, disheveled clothes, and not beautiful at all. No wonder Bodhisattvas are proud of this "big gift".

In the human world, at this time Zhuang Fan had settled down with Ao Yu, changed his clothes, and was sitting on the porch looking at the sky.

With the bright moon hanging high and the night as cold as water, Zhuang Fan sneezed suddenly.

He muttered a few words, took out his fur coat, wrapped it up, wrapped himself up tightly, leaned his head on the pillar, stared at the bright moon rising in the sky, and was in a daze, unaware that his beloved disciple was arranging for him in front of Guanyin. .

In the Purple Bamboo Forest, the Bodhisattva was lucky, rubbed his forehead, and called out: "Dragon Girl!" Lift this ugly monster out!

No one answered.

"Dragon girl?" The voice was higher.

Still no one.

Avalokitesvara was about to lose her temper, she flicked her sleeves, stood up from the couch, walked to the door with windy feet and took a look: there was a lobster shell on the ground, the charcoal fire on the grill was extremely hot, and there was no trace of the dragon girl.

So angry!Especially that monkey who didn't know astrology, and followed him to fight the fire. He laughed and said: "Bodhisattva, don't worry, don't worry, your apprentice will return in a while, and wait! Or, my grandson will serve the Bodhisattva?"

The Bodhisattva turned his head and gave the monkey a vicious look. The man with slender eyebrows and long eyes turned sideways, looking charming and coquettish. He stared at the monkey so excitedly that he rushed out and landed right in front of the pond of lotus in Guanyin's heart.

The lotus bloomed really well. The monkey saw it right and felt a little moved. He thought to himself, Master has been homesick for the past two days and cried several times. At the banquet in the afternoon, he even talked about the lotus pond in Chang’an Come, I read something like "The lotus flower that reflects the sun is so red", and said what everyone did, and it won the applause of the whole audience. If I take a fresh lotus flower back, I wonder if it can please the master.

The monkey couldn't control its hand a little bit, and slowly stretched it towards a budding flower bone by the pool, but it was still far away, and asked the Bodhisattva to pull a willow branch.

The Bodhisattva sighed, feeling out of breath, and said helplessly, "My lotus is not a flat peach, so I can't eat it. It's useless for you to grab it. Please be merciful, the Great Sage, and let this lotus fairy live."

The monkey was taken aback, and when he took a closer look, he saw a little fairy shivering under the petals in the heart of the lotus flower, but it turned out that it was not a bud, but people were afraid of him and hid layer by layer.

The monkey pouted, and wanted to pick another one, but saw that the lotus seemed to have spirituality, and fled to the middle of the pond one after another. The monkey "cut" and had to throw away his hand.

The bodhisattva saw that the monkey was jumping up and down without being honest, and even a bodhisattva could be pissed to death by him, so he said: "If you don't let your master go west, you will walk around here every day. Tell me, take a little fairy to come up." What am I doing here?"

Then the monkey came over and said with a smile: "This is not our master and apprentice. I have received much care from the Bodhisattva, and I can't repay it. I feel really embarrassed. Coincidentally, my master met such a grape essence on the road. The fruit it bears is very sweet. My master said that it should be filial to Bodhisattvas to enjoy, but no, he sent me to send it."

The Bodhisattva looked at Wukong without saying a word, with an expression of "I have seen through all your little things and you treat me as a fool".

With a sincere face, the monkey leaned over to beat the Bodhisattva's shoulders, but was stopped, and said, "Why doesn't the Bodhisattva believe in the sincerity of my master and disciple?"

The Bodhisattva had no choice but to rub the center of his brows and said, "Okay, I can take it if you want. You go to your master and ask him for a bottle of Qiling Pill and a bottle of Peiyuan Pill. I will take this idiot."

The monkey said: "What's so difficult about it, I'll go right away!" Then he went out, meeting the dragon girl!

The dragon girl's cheeks were bulging, and her mouth was full of oil. She was rubbing her fingers when she saw Wukong's eyes lit up: "Great Sage! Don't tell me! Your master is really good at cooking!"

The monkey chuckled, turned his head and said, "I mean, I'm not coming back now. Bodhisattva, Dragon Girl, my grandson will come back as soon as he goes!"

As soon as the monkey ran away, Guanyin was exposed behind him. Seeing Master looking at her murderously, Longnu couldn't help the cold on the back of her neck, her whole body tightened, and she obediently stood on the spot with her hands tied.

The Bodhisattva folded his arms, looked his disciple up and down, and said coldly, "Hand it over!"

The dragon girl wanted to cry, sobbing, she took out the storage bag, which was confiscated after being rolled up by the willow branch of the Bodhisattva.

The Bodhisattva turned around and wanted to go back to the house. Remembering that there was still a fool in the house, he turned a corner and went to the gazebo in the back mountain, and swept away the charcoal grill. Fix it, stop eating! You gained five catties today! Oh, go and take that idiot from the master’s room to your brother’s room and let him wash and change his clothes!”

The stinky child, for the sake of eating, even recognizes Taoism!How dare you sneak into the world by yourself!

Hey, they are so dirty, they are so eye-catching!Tsk!Reduce the appearance of the purple bamboo forest!

Longnu called her master to tell her, she cried, covered her face with her sleeves and ran back to her room!

Five catties fat, the blow is too big!

In the main hall, Zhao Wu, who was ignored by no one, tried his best to huddle himself against the wall, and took a deep breath quietly and forcefully.

Ah, fairy air, so fragrant!Um?Why is there a fishy smell?

But he said that the Great Sage returned home faster than when he came back without bringing anyone with him. After a while, Wukong landed on the clouds, and the courtyard was completely dark and quiet. The neighbors were all asleep, but the lights were still lit in the Xiaokua courtyard.

Wukong saw that it was the kitchen room. Thinking of the way the dragon girl was eating just now, he realized what he was doing. He went in and took a look. Sure enough, there was porridge and vegetables warming in the pot. His master was lying on the table and fell asleep when he heard the doorbell , woke up immediately, and raised his head in a daze.

Seeing his apprentice came back, Zhuang Fan got up and rubbed his eyes, went to get him a meal, and said, "You're hungry, let's eat first!"

The monkey agreed and asked, "Master, the dragon girl came just now, did you cook for her?"

Zhuang Fan suddenly realized: "Dragon Girl is here? I said, the dishes I finished turned around and disappeared. There are so many dishes. I thought Ao Yu got up and ate them!"

Then he slapped his forehead: "Oops, your brother is still hungry." After saying that, he walked out, wanting to go to the bedroom and ask Ao Yu to get up for dinner.

The monkey hurriedly grabbed him: "Master, don't call. Sleeping is more important than eating for Ao Yu right now. It's cold, so he likes to sleep. Just let him go. When he's hungry, he will naturally get up and eat."

Zhuang Fan felt that the senior apprentice knew Ao Yu's temperament better than himself, so he agreed, and sat next to the senior apprentice, watching the monkey eat slowly, and picking at him.

The master watched closely, and the monkey didn't dare to eat too quickly. He still didn't know how to use chopsticks, and he was awkward and awkward. Finally, when he was full, Zhuang Fan said, "Go wash your face, go to sleep, and tell the old man tomorrow. The city lord will do, I have an appointment with him."

The monkey was finally able to speak, and said: "Master is not in a hurry, I still have to go to the South China Sea."

Zhuang Fan asked: "What else?"

The monkey then told the Bodhisattva's request.

After hearing this, Zhuang Fan took out the medicine box from his hand, gave the whole box to Wukong and said, "It's all here, you keep it first."

Then he patted the monkey on the shoulder and said: "Master will give you a holiday now. You went to Nanhai to deliver the medicine, so go home and visit your relatives, see the little monkey, meet old friends, and then visit the elders! Oh, yes Already!"

Zhuang Fan remembered that his apprentice didn't have many gold leaves, so he took out the few pieces of gold, but he couldn't move them, and threw them on the ground with a few thuds, and then said: "You also keep these golds, and you won't go home for hundreds of years , you pass by the big city on the way, and you also buy something to go back! The money is not much, more or less, whether it is for the juniors, friends or elders, it is your heart."

Zhuang Fan rubbed the top of the monkey's head, and said: "Wu Kong, about Zhao Wu today, your few words reminded me of something. A while ago, in the fight you fought with Heavenly Court, the monkey grandchildren must have suffered a lot. When you go back this time, you should also go to the underworld to ask to see if the souls of those unknown monkey grandchildren have successfully entered the world. reincarnation."

Zhuang Fan said solemnly: "Don't take this matter to heart, you also said today that if you don't enter reincarnation, you can only be wiped out. This is also the cause and effect of what you did back then. It's better to solve it as soon as possible, you know? But if The people of the underworld blame you for this, and want to punish you, so you just say that you are here to protect the master to go west to get scriptures, and you cannot leave without authorization because of your duty, and you are willing to be punished when you finish collecting the scriptures? Do you understand?"

After taking the scriptures, the monkey will be sealed as a Buddha, and he will be punished severely.

The monkey held the medicine box and looked down at the gold nuggets on the ground, which caused the master to speak in a daze.

Zhuang Fan said: "It's getting late, you go, don't worry about Master, go back and have a good time for a few days, good boy, collect your things, let's go. After giving those pills to the Bodhisattva, you can keep them by yourself. Don’t be stingy, monkeys and grandchildren, if you can use it, remember?”

The monkey suppressed the tears, his throat was choked, and he lowered his head and replied, "Mmm, disciple... I remember!"

After waving the gold and the elixir, the Great Sage suddenly knelt down, kowtowed several times to Zhuang Fan, got up, turned around and left the room.

Zhuang Fan caught his apprentice by surprise, and before he could stop him, everyone went out, his heart ached enough, he chased him out and saw that Wukong had entered the bedroom, and was cleaning up the little apprentice.

I don't know where the monkey got the hot water, and he threw Aoyu into it again, scalding the little white dragon until he screamed and screamed, and the two of them were making a fuss in the room.

Just now Zhuang Fan made the monkey feel a little embarrassed, so instead of going in, he knocked on the window outside, "Ao Yu, don't bother your elder brother, get up and have dinner, and go to bed after eating."

Ao Yu squeaked, didn't know what he said, Zhuang Fan didn't hear clearly, shook his head, left the two troublemakers behind, and went back to the kitchen.

The monkey clamped the younger brother in the creaking nest, threatened him well, told him to protect the master carefully, left the house, and said goodbye to Tang Seng, then jumped onto the somersault cloud and headed for the South China Sea.

After flying for a long distance, the monkey stood on the top of the cloud, looked back, and saw that little light had been lost for a long time, and then covered his face, and started to cry, and flew away and cried.

The author has something to say:

small theater:

The monkey was tired from running back and forth, and couldn't help complaining: "Bodhisattva, Bodhisattva, your South China Sea Purple Bamboo Forest is not in the sky at all. Why do you want to spend a day here and a year on the ground?" Wouldn't it be convenient to follow a clock in the world?

The Bodhisattva flicked his sleeves and said lazily: "Keeping pace with the leader is the magic weapon for success in the workplace." He naturally wants to keep the same time as the Buddha and the Jade Emperor, and he has never seen a leader accommodate his subordinates.The same time as Tang Seng, and then make them bother their masters and apprentices for several years?Forget it!A few days was enough for him.

The monkey has a blank face, what are you talking about...