Tang Seng is a cook

In the evening, brother-in-law Zhao called Zhuang Fan's father, saying that the police might come to check the situation in the next few days, and told him not to go out with the child in his arms.

Zhuang Fan's father yelled, and said, "What's the matter, we want to take the child to the county for an inspection tomorrow?"

Brother-in-law Zhao hurriedly said: "What's the matter, is the child sick? Or does he show some discomfort?"

The old man said: "Okay, why don't you tell Xiaofan, let's carry it to check it."

Brother-in-law Zhao breathed a sigh of relief, and said, "Oh my god, I was scared to death. Well, uncle, since the child has not shown any serious problems, don't go out in this cold weather. Besides, during the New Year's Day, the hospital is always on duty. Yes, let’s talk about it later, I’ll also say hello to my colleagues and tell them to go as soon as possible, okay?”

Zhuang Fan's father said: "Well, Dali, how much trouble did you give me, we don't understand the procedure of adoption!"

Brother-in-law Zhao laughed and said, "Uncle, don't worry, I'll take care of you. By the way, what name do you plan to name the child?"

Zhuang Fan's father groaned, and said, "Look, forget about it, we haven't thought about it yet!"

The old man put down the phone, went to Zhuang Fan's room, found an old Xinhua dictionary on his bookshelf, found paper and pen, sat in the living room, put on his reading glasses, and flipped through it.

Zhuang Fan's mother came out with a pack of diapers, looked at his father, and said, "Hey, it's strange today, why are you still able to read and write? At this time, why don't you go to watch the cards earlier?"

Zhuang Fan's father didn't look up, and said, "What are you talking about, you didn't see me naming my son!"

Zhuang Fan's mother clicked his tongue, "It's strange. When your eldest son was born, you didn't even think about it. You just made up your mind with a single word. Why, now you're still pretending to be knowledgeable? You don't want to write too much!" Knowing a lot, what good name can I give?"

Zhuang Fan, who came back from the kitchen after washing the dishes, was stabbed in the heart.

Zhuang Fan's father blushed, and said stiffly: "What's wrong with Fanzi's name? He's catchy. Besides, his life is easy to support. Look at his life. It's not smooth sailing. He has never had any serious problems since he was a child. No, he was admitted to the university and established in a big city, it’s all thanks to me giving him this name, you know?”

Zhuang Fan's mother almost put the diaper on the old man's face, "You can drag it, you are talking nonsense!" Throwing away the diaper, washing his hands, walked over and said: "Let me see, you are all for Xiaoer What is the name of Goubuli?"

The old man threw away his reading glasses, and said, "Look at you, you are so stingy when you talk, you can do it! You have good eyes, and you can see that good name at a glance! Can you do it!"

The old lady picked up the paper on the table and said: "What is this, what is this and what is this! By the way, have you asked the eldest sister if there is any family tree of the old Zhuang family?"

Zhuang Fan's father said: "Hey, what's the family tree? My sister and I have no parents since we were young. My sister brought me to our village without any good clothes on me. I have to return the family tree!"

The old lady shook her head and said: "Oh, there is no family tree, and Fanzi is a single character. It's not easy for this Xiaoer to be named after his brother. He can't be called a fairy."

The old man said angrily: "You are a ball fairy, why don't you call yourself a god! If you say that I am not in tune, I think you are not in that tune either!"

The old couple quarreled and played again, Zhuang Fan pretended not to listen, and slipped into the room. The little milk boy had just had a full meal, and now he was awake, and there was no one in the room, so he didn't cry, lying down. In the circle of fortresses surrounded by small quilts on the kang, I was playing by myself, waving my arms and legs.

Zhuang Fan got on the kang and lay sideways beside the child. It was very hot in the room. Zhuang Fan's mother didn't dress him too much, just hung a pocket, just wiped his ass and was drying it.

Zhuang Fan stretched out a hand, poked the little baby's fist, sighed, and said, "You are too young, when will you grow up!"

The little baby grabbed Zhuang Fan's finger and stuffed it into his mouth with great strength. Zhuang Fan smiled and said, "The mouth is quite strong, isn't it just full?"

The little baby didn't eat, and made two ah-ah kicks, and Zhuang Fan's mother heard it in the outer room, and said, "Fan, don't give your brother food indiscriminately!"

Zhuang Fan said: "Mom, I don't have anything to eat on me."

The old lady said: "Fingers are not good either!"

Zhuang Fan slumped helplessly on the kang, the little doll beside him was somehow amused, and giggled twice, Zhuang Fan got up and poked the little belly, and said: "Little rascal, are you happy to see your brother being scolded? "

The little guy didn't understand, so he yawned, closed his eyes, and fell asleep. Zhuang Fan pulled the quilt to cover him, turned around, lay on the kang and looked out: "Mom, my brother fell asleep. , Is there a diaper pad? Is the quilt wrapped?"

The old lady yelled, got up and walked over: "What can I do with your men, just leave it alone, I'll do it, you rough hands and feet, wake him up again!"

Zhuang Fan pursed his mouth and muttered: "Mother, I haven't left yet, why did I fall out of favor, since this little thing came to our house, you have scolded me seven or eight hundred times a day!"

The old lady was overjoyed, and passed the eldest son when she entered the house, and poked his forehead: "I'm jealous with a baby boy, don't lose it!"

Zhuang Fan giggled, rubbed the old lady's shoulders, and said, "Mother, I'll get him back, but I'm tired of you!"

The old lady was nimble, and lightly put a diaper on the baby, and said: "Why are you tired? Your brother is much more worry-free than you. He doesn't cry or make trouble. When he wakes up and is hungry, he wants to shit and pee. Choked twice, nothing more worrying."

The old lady sighed and said: "Back when you were here, our family had no money, but we were poor and couldn't eat anything. You were born thin and small, and you fell ill every day, and your voice was loud when you cried. , in the middle of the night, if you wake up, neither your dad nor I want to sleep! You don’t have grandma and grandma, and no one can help me take you. Your aunt can help, but your brother and sister were young at that time. Ah, that's right, it didn't kill me and your dad."

The old lady pointed to her head and said: "Look, half of this white hair is from your mother staying up late when you were young!"

Zhuang Fan was tearful, and just about to speak, he heard his father say in a loud voice in the living room: "Pull it down! You have gray hair! When I knew you, you had gray hair. Don't let it hurt your son." rely!"

Zhuang Fan choked, seeing his mother's expression was quite unkind, he smiled and said: "Mom, I got up early this morning, I'm sleepy, I'll go back to bed first, call me again if you have something to do!"

The old lady snorted, and said, "Go! Don't lie on the bed and play with your phone, look at your glasses, how thick they are! Hey, where are your glasses? Lost them?"

Zhuang Fanxin said that I didn't bring them last night, and you just looked at them now, you are my own mother, and hurriedly said: "I heard people say, if you don't use your eyes, wear less glasses, and your eyesight can almost recover, I don't Didn't you bring it!"

Zhuang Fan's mother was skeptical, and said: "It's not nonsense, is it? With your degree, if you go out without glasses, you can't hit a tree?"

Zhuang Fan said: "I'll try it, if it doesn't work, I'll wear it again, the glasses are in my pocket."

The old lady cleaned up her youngest son, got up and said: "All day long, you and your father are full of moths, take it with you or not, as long as you don't call me your father."

Zhuang Fan probed his head and saw that his mother was going to clean up his father. He let out a sigh of relief and thought that this was an innocent disaster. Wukong chuckled in the master's ear and said, "Uncle, grandpa and grandma have such temperaments. It's fun!"

As soon as the monkey finished speaking, the old couple sneezed loudly in the living room, and the old lady glared: "Did you scold me in your heart?"

The old man died of injustice, and said: "Why did I scold you? I also sneezed, and I said you scolded me?"

Zhuang Fan didn't know whether to laugh or cry, and said, "Wukong, your status is too high now, don't call them grandpa and grandma, I'm afraid they won't be able to bear it."

The monkey giggled and said, "It's a coincidence, it's not so, Master. If you don't call it Grandpa and Grandma, what else can you call it!"

As soon as the voice fell, there were two loud sneezes in the living room.

The monkey quickly stopped talking, and Bajie laughed and said, "I think it's fine if I call you grandpa and grandma!"

Sure enough, there was no sneeze.

Wukong wondered: "Could it be true that you can't call it?"

Zhuang Fan was afraid of him, so he hurriedly said: "Don't try it, don't try it, it's fine if you want it. Well, Wukong, you give me the pill. It just so happens that there is no one else at home, so I will feed it to them."

Wukong said: "Master stretches out his hand." Zhuang Fan stretched out his hand, and immediately there was an elixir in his palm, and a burst of refreshing fairy air escaped, even the little baby sleeping on the kang couldn't help but sleep in the swaddling clothes. Li sniffed vigorously.

Zhuang Fan said: "Is it okay to hydrate it? Both of them share it equally?"

Wukong said: "Oh, you can't use ordinary water, just take this water, one cup per person."

There was a flash of light on the kang, and a mutton jade bottle fell silently on the kang mat, Zhuang Fan held it in his hand, looked at it carefully, and said: "I don't know if this bottle is worth money, is there a place to collect it? "

Avalokitesvara has been sitting on the lotus platform, floating on top of Zhuang Fan's head without saying a word, and said, "You have no money again? I still have a lot of gold, silver and jewels here, you can use them."

Zhuang Fan said: "No, I just like the way you look like a local tyrant! It's just that gold and silver are not used in circulation in the world, and copper plates are no longer good. They all use banknotes. I buy those papers during the day. Did you see that there are mobile phones? Alipay, WeChat, all of them are the storage limit of banknotes.”

Avalokitesvara asked suspiciously: "Then gold, silver and jewels are worthless? No one wants them anymore?"

Zhuang Fan said: "That's impossible, it's still very valuable."

Guanyin thought for a while, then threw out two gold rings and two suet jade plaques, and said nonchalantly, "It's Chinese New Year, let this be a New Year's gift for the two elders!"

Zhuang Fan covered his face, thinking that he just said that he was not a local tyrant, and now he showed the local tyrant to himself, which made people feel powerless to complain.

It's just that Guanyin was interested, and Zhuang Fan also knew that Buzhen was worried, so he didn't refute it. He just picked up the gold ring and the nothing card, and looked at it carefully. He saw that the rings were a man's model and a woman's model. A lotus flower, very concise and generous, said: "This nothing happened card is too precious, I take it out, I am afraid I will be beaten by my father, I will give it to them next time, I will give this ring to them first."

Guanyin agreed in a low voice, and took the nothing card.

Bajie groaned and said: "Master, I, I don't have a gift..."

Zhuang Fan touched the small earphones on his chest and said, "What are you busy with? When you open a restaurant later, invite them to dinner. Cooking yourself is nothing better than anything else."

Only then did Ba Xiaodai become elated, and said, "Master, I will cook for you every day then!"

Zhuang Fan smiled, got up and went to the outhouse, seeing that the two elders were still busy, he went to the coffee table, took out the tea leaves to make tea, poured the pills and water, stuffed a cup into the hands of each of the elders, Said: "Speaking in full swing, you are not thirsty, drink some water first to moisten yourself."

The old couple didn't suspect him, took the cup and drank it without looking at it.

As a result, this cup went down, and my stomach was full for a long time.

The old couple took turns to go to the bathroom for half the night. It was freezing outside the house, and finally subsided in the second half of the night. They felt that their bodies were tired, and they each went to take a bath.

They didn't suspect that they went to their son's glass of water, but lamented that they were getting old, and their spleen and stomach couldn't stand it after eating meat for a few days during the Chinese New Year.

So the old lady got up early the next morning, prepared a rather light breakfast, and switched to a vegetarian diet: cornmeal porridge, dried radish and pickles, steamed stuffed buns with vegetarian stuffing. Xilihulu drank two bowls of porridge and mixed it with water to make her full.

At noon, a police car came to the village, with a few policemen in it, and they didn't come directly to Zhuang Fan's house. They visited the village first, and the little boy with hard legs ran over with a yell. Reported to Zhuang Fan, Zhuang Fan didn't take it seriously, grabbed a handful of candy and stuffed it for the little boy, it was considered as running errands, what should he do at home, the old couple are the same.

When the police came to the door, the old farmer’s lunch was just right, and there was a table of leafy vegetables, which were very green. Under this section, it was quite eye-catching. The police looked at the dining table in the house. : "It's just in time for dinner, there's nothing good to eat, let's eat together!"

The two young men and a young girl looked tender, and they all went to look at the old policeman who led the team. The old policeman was surnamed Yuan, and said with a smile: "Old sister, why are you still a vegetarian during this festival?"

Zhuang Fan's mother smiled and said: "Hey, I'm old, my spleen and stomach are weak, and I can't stand the meat after eating for a few days! My old intestines and stomach are fighting, so I can get some vegetarian food. This means that life is better, let's put it in the past , where can we get leafy vegetables this winter!"

He gave way again: "Hurry up, all of you enter the house and serve the table! You are all colleagues of my Xiao Zhao, this is your own home, why are you polite! You have come all the way, and I can still make you feel so hungry Go back? If Zhao Er finds out, she must blame my uncle and aunt!"

When the old policeman saw that this matter was mentioned, he didn't refuse, and said: "Old sister, then we will not be polite! I will have a meal at your house! I will leave you the meal money later!"

Zhuang Fan's father said with a smile: "Yes, yes, I know you have discipline! Eat at ease! Guaranteed to collect money! I will not let you make mistakes!"

Everyone laughed and the atmosphere became much more relaxed.

Lao Yuan brought three noodles into the house, sat down at the dining table, turned his head, looked at the doll sleeping on the kang, and said, "Yo, is this the child?"

Zhuang Fan's mother served everyone a meal and said: "It's not a big deal, these parents are really cruel, and they threw it there in the middle of the night in the ice and snow. If it wasn't for my Xiaofan who watched and hugged it back, it would be frozen in the morning." Stiff!"

Lao Yuan happened to be sitting next to Kang Yan'er, and said, "Old sister, can I untie this child? I heard from Zhao Er that this child is missing a toe? Is it born or caused by an injury?"

Zhuang Fan's mother and his father looked at each other, and said hesitantly: "Hey, this child looks like he has just landed after holding him back. If it is done later, how can it be so fast? I see, it is born Right? We don’t know how to read this, so why don’t you take a look?”

It was not Zhuang Fan's turn to speak on this occasion, so he just sat quietly and picked the leaves of vegetables, eating listlessly.

The policewoman who followed Lao Yuan said in a soft voice, "Uncle Yuan, my hands are light and warm, so let me do it?"

Old Yuan smiled and said: "Middle, you little girls are all careful, I'm such a big bastard, and my son even hates it, so I'd better stay away."

The female policeman leaned over and unwrapped the swaddling clothes. Lao Yuan squinted his eyes and saw that the child was indeed free from frostbite, it was white and clean, and there were no other scars. Looking at the feet, it was true that the left foot was missing a little toe. It's just that there is no scar on the cut skin, it's not that he was injured later, Lao Yuan knew it in his mind, and said: "Success, wrap it up, and watch it freeze."

The little girl wrapped it up lightly again, the child didn't wake up at all, and continued to sleep soundly with his little fists clenched.

Zhuang Fan's mother smiled and said: "This girl is handy!"

Zhuang Fan's father hurriedly greeted him, saying: "Eat, eat, let's talk after eating, the food will be cold by the time it's served!"

Then he asked Lao Yuan, "Do you want to drink two cups?"

Lao Yuan quickly waved his hand: "Don't dare, I'm not in a hurry to make a mistake!"

Zhuang Fan's mother patted the old man and said, "What's the trouble, I usually don't drink at all, how dare I persuade others to drink!"

The old man laughed aloud, "I'm not polite!"

The two young men ate without saying a word, Zhuang Fan thought he was the master, so he took the food twice, but the girl, he didn't show much attention, which caused Lao Yuan to stare at him several times, and finally ate nothing. Asked: "Xiaozhuang, did you meet any suspicious people on the road when you went out that day?"

Zhuang Fan chewed the vegetable leaves, put on a very dazed face, pretended to recall for a while, scratched his head, and said, "Uncle Yuan, I'll let my uncle and my brother feed me that night, and I slept so unconsciously. , Later I woke up and had a headache, so I said to go out for a stroll, my aunt told me to go to the canteen to see the second grandpa, I ran out, and then I was in a daze, and I didn’t wear glasses, I’m so nearsighted, I’m far away Glasses, I can't see anything clearly, even if I meet someone in a dark place, I may really not be able to see."

Lao Yuan glanced at Zhuang Fan's glasses on the bridge of his nose, and said with a smile, "Hey, this is an intellectual, show me, how strong are your glasses?"

Zhuang Fan honestly took off his glasses, handed them over, and said, "One thousand is one thousand, the other is more than 900, and the astigmatism in both eyes is three hundred and five."

The policemen all took a breath of air, and Lao Yuan was putting Zhuang Fan glasses on his face. He felt dizzy and quickly took them off, saying: "My God, your prescription is too high! You How many books have you read! Did you study at Tsinghua University?"

Zhuang Fan's father dismantled his son's TV station: "It's not because of studying. Back then, he was obsessed with martial arts novels. His mother and I didn't let him read them. In the middle of the night, he hid under the bed and secretly turned on the flashlight. He slipped away thirteen times and finished his eyes! "

Zhuang Fan's mother said: "Didn't you say you don't want to wear it anymore? Why did you take it out and put it on again?"

Zhuang Fanxin said that I don't want to take it either, isn't this to deal with them? He was very aggrieved, and said: "It's slippery outside, I can't see clearly if I don't take it, go out in the morning to hold firewood, in the backyard of our house I Just fall three times!"

A young man couldn't hold it back, and burst out laughing all of a sudden, Lao Yuan said with a smile: "That night, you didn't fall?"

Zhuang Fanxin said that this was too careful, and continued to be wronged: "Why didn't you fall, I walked slowly when I went, I just walked along the pine snow next to me, I staggered a few times, and when I picked up the doll, the baby was on the body. I didn't wear anything, I was afraid of freezing him, so I ran home in a hurry, and I was stuck, and I lost all the poker and ice cream I bought!"

He rubbed his butt embarrassingly, and said, "It's still green now!"

I rolled up my sleeves again, and my elbow was also black and black, and a large piece of skin was torn off, which has scabbed over now.

Before the others said anything, Zhuang Fan's mother was taken aback, and said, "Oh, you son of a bitch, why didn't you tell me when you came back, your clothes aren't torn, are you?"

Zhuang Fan was heartbroken, looked at his mother and said weakly: "Mother, I am your son, you don't even ask me if it hurts!"

The old lady said very bluntly: "I'm quite a big man. I've lost my hair all day, and I don't know it hurts yet? I haven't mentioned you yet. You've fallen yourself. If Xiao Er falls badly, Why are you accompanying me!"

The more she talked, the more angry she became, the old lady grabbed Zhuang Fan's ears and twisted, angrily said: "Every day I don't know what to do!"

Zhuang Fan was taken aback, and Lao Yuan hurriedly fought back, "Old sister calm down, calm down, Xiao Zhuang is doing a good deed, why are you still doing it!"

The old lady had no choice but to withdraw her hand, poked Zhuang Fan on the forehead, and said, "Go, go to that room, and let me see how the injury is in the back!"

Zhuang Fan blushed and said, "Mom, let's talk about it later, there are female colleagues here!"

Old Yuan said: "It's okay, it's okay, it's not a trivial matter to get hurt, go ahead and go!"

Zhuang Fan could only smile awkwardly, and followed his mother to his bedroom. As soon as the old lady closed the door, Zhuang Fan groaned, "Mother, look, I'm already this old!"

The old lady said: "Stop talking nonsense, you are out of favor all day long, your mother, I don't favor you?"

Zhuang Fan was at home, wearing the big cotton trousers his mother made for him, which weighed a catty of cotton, and it took a lot of trouble to take them off. He was just tightening his trousers here. son?"

Zhuang Fan's mother said: "Oh, it's okay, it's okay, what's wrong, Xiao Yuan."

Lao Yuan was not embarrassed to be called Xiao Yuan, still smiling, took out a bottle of spray, and said: "I don't remember, we always carry this bruise spray with us, it's super easy to use, if Xiao Zhuang is seriously injured , Spray him twice."

Zhuang Fan was on the other side, his heart fluttered, his cotton trousers pulled back, and he said cheekily: "Mother, take a look, is it still blue?"

Wukong personally made the injury to his master, can it not be green, the tailbone is so blue and black, it looks like it was a fall in the past two days, it is very miserable, Lao Yuan took a look and said: "Wow, this fall It's not easy! Is it stuck on the ice?"

Zhuang Fan's mother was also a little distressed, but she said: "Hey, our farmer's child, he was beaten and beaten since he was a child, and he is so tough!"

Then he said very bluntly: "Yuan, where is your medicine?"

Lao Yuan quickly handed it over and said, "This is a new one, so I'll use it for Xiao Zhuang! He saved a child, and we didn't say anything about it. Let's reward a bottle of wound medicine first!"

Zhuang Fan's mother laughed twice, and went to spray Zhuang Fan. Zhuang Fan said, "Oh my god, it's so cold!"

Old Yuan said: "This has to be rubbed open! Such dry spraying is a waste of medicine effect! How about this, old sister, I will show you the technique, you can learn it?"

Zhuang Fan's mother readily agreed, and said, "Zhong, then I will trouble you, Yuan!"

As soon as Lao Yuan raised his hand, he pressed Zhuang Fan's tailbone, causing Zhuang Fan to groan in pain. The old lady patted his son on the back and said, "What are you crying for, hold on!"

Zhuang Fan burst into tears, and said in his heart that it's a real attack, don't press it, I'm sure I'll be really hurt!

Mother, it hurts so much, woo woo woo!