Tang Seng is a cook

Visiting relatives to eat wine during the Chinese New Year, the folks in the village are enthusiastic!The loud voice was raised, the local dishes were full of flavor, and the small shochu brewed by the farm was poured vigorously.Zhuang Fan has a solid eye, and he can't escape this year. He got drunk with delicious local accents, was thrown on the hot kang by his family, and fell asleep soundly.

This room was sleeping soundly, and someone could only hear someone shouting in a high-pitched voice: "Master! Master! Master wake up! Master——!" The voice was urgent and shrill, but there was no response.

Zhuang Fan, the nanny during the winter and summer vacations over the years, smiled in his heart: Tang Seng, a coward, was scared fainted by monsters again?The little bastards in Ma Dan's family are watching Journey to the West again, and they turn on the TV so loudly!It's so noisy, his grandma, wait for me to get up and spank each other!

When I want to open my eyes, I feel the cold wind blowing around my face, my body is wet and cold, my eyes are sticky, the back of my head is painful, I reach out to touch it, it is bare and wet, cold and sticky, I try to open my eyes a little, and move my hand closer. Look: Damn it, it's blood red!

Why did he drink until he got into a fight with someone?fell?

Zhuang Fanfan was lying on his side with straight brows and staring eyes, staring at his bloodstained fingers with a dazed expression. Unexpectedly, someone beside him came to help him sit up: "Master, you are awake! You scared my old grandson to death! How dare you You little boy! My old grandson just beat a tiger and scared you off your horse! If you fall to your death, my old grandson will not be able to explain to the Bodhisattva..."

While bouncing up and down to support him, he stood in the lorry and talked nonstop.

Zhuang Xiaofan was startled, his eyes widened, his neck creaked and he turned to look, I'm in awe!I am a mother!I am a grandma!

I saw a monkey beside him, who was so ugly: pointed mouth shrunk cheeks, golden eyes and fiery eyes, his body was called a Maitai: moss was piled on his head, scallions grew in his ears, grass grew on his temples, his jaw Lusha is glued underneath, the brows are full of dirt, the nose cavity is full of mud, and the shape is very embarrassing.

The worst thing was that his hands were covered in mud, and those hairy paws made dirty handprints on him, which made Zhuang Fanfan's eyelids twitch.

Seeing that Zhuang Fan opened his eyes and sat up, the monkey walked away chattering. Zhuang Fan, who was quite enlightened, sat still and did not move. Quiet, where I was sitting, there was a rough path, weeds were overgrown all around, and the mountain wind was howling...

Then he lowered his head to study his own attire: the cassock was stained with dirt, the straw sandals were stained with dust, the prayer beads on the chest were messy, and the hands on the wrists were messy... Oh, and there were also a golden-topped Pilu hat and a nine-legged cap on the grass next to it. Ring Tin Rod...

A long distance away was a white horse standing tremblingly with its tail flicked. Not far away was a dead tiger lying motionless with a big puddle of blood under it. The monkey was pulling off a hair and blowing. Calling "Change", he held a sharp knife with a cow's ear and brushed the tiger's skin, the technique was quite neat and straightforward.

……

A small wind whimpered in his ear, Zhuang Fanfan shuddered Linglingly, he couldn't help a sob in his throat, his heart was stuffy!

When I woke up, I changed from a modern person celebrating the new year to a Tang Dynasty monk who had to go through 81 ordeals!A small person who is not even a supporting role on the Urban Life Channel has been changed into a useless protagonist on the Fantasy Channel!Who can stand such a blow!

Zhuang Fan wished he could lie down on the grass and let out a mournful cry: just get drunk and sleep on the kang!I didn't drink and drive again, and I'm going to cross the New Year's Eve!

Aww!I haven't eaten all the delicious food at home yet!The bacon on my beam, the dried sausage under the eaves, the new rice in the vat, and the bean paste buns in the snow!My stewed chicken with sauced beef, dried mushrooms, deep-fried short ribs, stewed fish paste in a big pot, pancakes with sauerkraut and pork stuffing, big dumplings...

Once his thinking diverged, Zhuang Fan became even more sad: As a carnivore who loves meat and love, he has traveled to the prosperous Tang Dynasty where food materials are everywhere, and foreign delicacies are abundant. Going through mountains and mountains, enduring hunger and suffering, fighting monsters all day long, and a monk who can only eat vegetarian! ?

What kind of life is a life where you can't eat a bite of meat!

The world is full of malice against me!Zhuang Xiaofan was full of bitterness and had nowhere to vent it, thinking for a long time that his evil heart was not dead, maybe he was just Tang Seng's follower?

Fortunately, he was very familiar with Journey to the West. After thinking about it carefully, he took off his left shoe and sock to check it out, and after a closer look, sure enough, it was over, the little toe was missing!Tang Sanzang didn't run away!

Now Zhuang Fan was even more inexplicably sad and indignant, thinking sadly, the monk is nothing more than a disabled monk! !

Why are my eyes full of affectionate tears, just because I love and hate this land!

Even if it was one step earlier, Zhuang Xiaofan fantasized secretly, he remembered that the Naboqin's house just passing by had tiger meat, camphor meat, boa constrictor meat, fox meat, rabbit meat and dried venison meat, what good ingredients! !In the rest of my life, where would it be so easy to eat these wild animals!Boqin's house doesn't have much seasoning, no oil, no salt, no sauce, and those good things are for nothing. If you pick them up by yourself, it must be a super rich game meal... It's too late... Boom... Zhuang Fanfan sucked his saliva and cried so much that he couldn't bear to live.

After the monkey peeled off the tiger skin, the ones in the wilderness could not be tanned, so they had to wrap them indiscriminately. Turning around to find the master, he looked at Tang Seng, who was still sitting on the grass in a daze for a long time, with two lines of tears in his eyes. The corner of the mouth is shining...is that saliva?

Buddha bless!

The monkey's heart skipped a beat. The fools he had seen in the mortal world were his master's current virtues. Didn't this master fall into a fool after falling so quickly?This is too weak!

The monkey scratched the back of its head, carefully squatted beside Tang Seng, and called softly: "Master! It's getting late, if we delay, we may lose the hour. Let's go on the road!"

Seeing the monk turn around with clear eyes and stare at him sadly, a stone fell to the ground in the monkey's heart, it's okay, not stupid!Hurriedly and joyfully went to help.

On the road, on the road, on the road...

A word from the monkey made Zhuang Fanfan howl in his throat, and he got up with the help of the dirty apprentice, and ignored the bloody smell of the monkey with his heart. He looked around: barren mountains and wild mountains, birds chirping and chirping There was a quiet sound in the empty valley, no human voice, and then he looked at Tang Seng's weak body like a chicken with small arms and legs, it was numb, and he was incapable of running decisively!

I can only go west with the monkey for the time being!

The dirty monkey in front of him didn't have the demeanor of a great sage at all. Zhuang Fan tried his best to calm down and ordered the monkey to gather all the scattered luggage in one place. He took the water from the luggage and washed his hands. For the wound, I rummaged in the bag again, found a clean inner garment, and spent a long time tearing out a long strip of cloth, and bound it hastily.

Fortunately, the fall was not very hard, so I asked the monkey to take a look at it, and said that the wound had healed and the bleeding was no longer. Although he was worried about getting tetanus, but the conditions here were poor, so Zhuang Fan let it go.

He secretly murmured in his heart: If he got infected and had a fever and hiccupped his farts, he took advantage of the trend and returned to the modern age, which would be considered a retravel. He would be reluctant to let his parents be old people who lost their independence.

Seeing that Zhuang Fan was fine, the monkey went to take the horse to pack his luggage, rolled up the tiger skin and stuffed it into the luggage, muttering: "When I get home, borrow a needle and thread, it's not too late to sew!"

Hearing these words, Zhuang Fan was stunned, thinking of the scene in the TV drama, in the middle of the night, under the dim oil lamp, the virtuous monk Tang sewed a tiger skin skirt for his grandson lovingly.

The desolate background sound lingered in his heart: Damn, as a good young man in the 21st century, making clothes with needles and threads is such a sophisticated and ladylike technical job, I, Lao Zhuang, can't do it!

Zhuang Fan originally wanted to tell the monkey a few words, but now he coughed in embarrassment, turned a blind eye to the bloody smell on the tiger skin, let the dirty monkey do it, walked to the pile of tiger meat by himself, and looked at it. Look at it again, rub it again, thinking about this fresh tiger bone in Baixia!And that tiger cough cough...bubble wine, take a sip...

Sighing in his heart, Zhuang Fan stared at the tiger's meat, his eyes turned straight again, his mind turned wildly, and he found an excuse for himself to eat meat: Tang Seng has extraordinary background, just such a light fall, did he change his soul with himself?cant!Well, why don't you break your precept by eating meat!Call Sister Guanyin and ask what's going on!Buddha and Sister Avalokitesvara have great powers, and they brought back the real Tang monk, so we can continue to go home for the New Year!The old couple were so sad to wander away without saying hello to their parents.

Zhuang Fan squatted there pondering, remembering that the next plot was that the master and the apprentice stayed overnight, Wukong beat the robber to death, and refused to obey the discipline. Sister Guanyin gave Tang Seng a tight band... Well, there is no need to move forward, for no reason Why did Wukong provoke the murderer for no reason, let's go out in the wild, eat game, and call Sister Guanyin!

So let's have fun camping and eating meat, Goku!Oh, by the way, you can't name the monkeys. This glorious task must be handed over to the real Tang monk.

Without further ado, let's cook!