Rabbit's Murder Memories

Coming out of Pei Ye's "Paradise Library", it was raining cold outside. I sat in the car and didn't go home right away. Instead, I lit a cigarette and smoked it slowly.

In fact, the "home" with Ji Ran has never given me a sense of home. To me, it is more like a prison, a net, or a joke.

Almost everyone thought that I got everything. In fact, only the real life is the most depressing, because it proves time and time again that the original fantasies are just fantasies in the end.

"What does family really mean?" I pondered this question over and over again.

In the end, my answer to myself is - family represents the greatest degree of truth.

Because only at home can a woman take off her high heels with peace of mind, remove all disguises, and restore her true self, but he and his family have given me everything I want, except the truth.

In front of the media, the two of us pretended to love each other, pretended to feel distressed, and acted out a scene that no one could understand, and we didn't know when the scene would be completed.Of course, fortunately, the "remuneration" is not bad, which somewhat gave me the motivation to continue acting.

It's just that no matter how good a play is, if it's played for too long, it will eventually get boring.

While I was smoking a cigarette and thinking wildly, Pei Ye rushed over suddenly, before he even had time to open an umbrella, he opened the door of a Mercedes-Benz next to me, and quickly disappeared at the corner of the street not far away .I also started the car immediately like a conditioned reflex, and followed closely behind his car.

He was driving very fast, with red taillights swaying all the way, like a wild horse bleeding from the ass.While waiting for the traffic light on the road, I suddenly couldn't help laughing, "Why should I follow him?"

"Why did you follow him?"

"Is it out of curiosity, or because of love?"

"Like? Impossible! We've only met twice!"

"It should be curiosity, because I suddenly want to know why such a calm man suddenly becomes so crazy..."

I followed his car and drove on the road at the same pace for half an hour. Before a traffic light, he suddenly went crazy, completely ignoring the dazzling red light in front of him. The speed of the car increased instead of decreasing. The off-string flying arrow pierced the darkness ahead.

I stopped in front of the traffic light and thought about it, but in the end I didn't follow and was left on the spot by him.

I stared expressionlessly at the lights of the vehicles that nearly collided with him and kept flickering due to sudden stops, and listened to the endless complaints and curses after the windows fell. I couldn't help admiring this man named Pei Ye , because he is alive compared to me.

Thinking of this, I couldn't help pulling out a cigarette irritably, lit it, and turned my hand out the window. The rain was very cold, and it was sticking to my hand sparingly.When the green light came on, I slowly closed the car window, and drove forward feeling disappointed.

·

What I didn't expect was that after I drove three traffic lights forward, I could see Pei Ye again.

He was standing in the rain, silently staring at a man on the phone at the entrance of the Sifang Hotel.

I happen to know that man, he is a friend of Ji Ran, nicknamed "Dragon King", and his family is also in the coal business.

I looked at Pei Ye's back standing up straight, and suddenly understood why he was so angry.

Subsequent events also confirmed my prediction.

After Pei Ye made a phone call, he came out from the back of the Sifang Hotel with a girl in his arms. Under Pei Ye's glaring gaze, the Dragon King first went back to the hotel, and then returned to the door for some reason. We Just met.As Pei Ye walked, he met the eyes of the Dragon King, but the arrogant Dragon King at the dinner table was like a defeated old dog, only daring to look at him from a distance.

He is afraid!

The Dragon King was actually scared!

I couldn't help laughing, and had to focus my attention on this man who was holding a naked woman in his arms on a rainy night again.

This man is really interesting!

·

I once asked Ji Ran, why is he called "Dragon King"?

Ji Ran seemed to be very interested in this topic, and instead of his usual indifference, he took the initiative to ask me:

"Do you know what SM is?"

I trembled and nodded, and he continued:

"In that circle, he is the most professional. Others bring money to eat meat, but he always pulls the box when eating meat."

I naturally know what the "meat" he refers to, and I even know that for the convenience of eating "meat", he specially rented a suite in this hotel to entertain his "meat eaters" friend.

"It turns out that what you like is not a human being, but a mass of meat that can be kneaded at will. Today your meat was in the hands of someone else, so... are you angry?" I watched him open the car door and put the girl carefully Putting the ground on the co-pilot, I couldn't help thinking like this in my mind.

He didn't drive right away, but stopped in the rain, lit a cigarette, and smoked slowly while looking at the dark night sky.

I couldn't resist opening the car window and looking in the same direction of the sky, only to find that there was nothing but darkness there.

Before I was 25, I had only been in a semi-relationship once, and this time, I felt like I was in love again.

·

My first heartbeat was not long after I transferred to another school in the second year of high school.

Suddenly from the narrow country of cherry blossoms to the country with a long history of ancient civilization, in fact, everything did not go smoothly as expected.The sense of distance between people is especially obvious in China, and even they are better than the Japanese.

They surround the door of the classroom curiously every day, smiling, whistling, and shouting "flax belt". Don't care if I'm embarrassed by their gaze.

They are all good viewers.

This well-known aristocratic school is like a prison, imprisoning all budding desires.Even though almost all of them come from affluent backgrounds, what remains persistent is the sexual tension and repression characteristic of adolescence.

But fortunately, I transferred here after the Spring Festival. There is a cherry blossom path in the school. It is April, and the cherry blossoms on both sides of the road are full of pink and white, which looks like my hometown.

So, every day after class, I would go for a walk on that road, and once I got down, I would feel much calmer.

After all, the cherry blossom has a natural closeness to the Japanese, not only because it is the national flower, it is very beautiful, but because beauty is perishable, which is very similar to the character of the Japanese.

That love letter, the first love letter I received after I came to China, suddenly appeared in my textbook at that time.

·

In fact, the content of that love letter was very simple, only a few short confessions, and did not even leave a name. The other party just said that they would wait for me on the bench on the cherry blossom trail at dusk on Saturday, and hoped to see each other.

I wanted to refuse at first, but because of his clean and neat font, the time and place were all chosen very accurately, and even the envelope used to place the love letter was engraved with pink cherry blossoms, which made me very fond of it; and at that time, I, All alone, empty and lonely, looking forward to some kind of support.

So after school on Saturday, instead of going home, I dawdled in self-study in the classroom for half an hour. Although I was hesitant and apprehensive, and struggled in the middle, in the end, I still chose to walk towards the cherry blossom trail .

However, although I came as promised, although I sat quietly on that bench, although I waited from the sunset until the stars fell, in the end, no one came except me.

Cherry blossoms fly down, like rain, like tears...

The flowering period of just one week, after all, passed, fell, and never came again.

Like something in my heart.

I turned on my phone, pretending to be stubborn and wanted to take a picture of myself, but inadvertently saw the date on the screen - April [-]st.

It turns out that today is April Fool's Day.

·

The second love I talked about was in college.

After graduating from high school, I did not go abroad. I chose the college entrance examination and entered a good university.

I asked my father why he didn't let me go abroad?

My father said that China's universities are not bad, and there will be more opportunities in the future. You are a girl and you don't like to be competitive, so there is no need for that.

Not long after I entered the university, I met Chu Han.

In fact, it's not just me, there is no one in our class who doesn't know Chu Han.Because he is tall, handsome, and has a very handsome shooting posture. Later, he became the chairman of our student union.

Every university seems to have several of these star students.

From the day he met me, he has been very close to me. Before and after class, he ran to our class most frequently.I know he likes me, in fact I like him too, but I don't dare to like him.

Because, I'm afraid this will become another April Fool's Day, a living April Fool's Day in full view.

So, the further he ran, the more I retreated.The more he pursued high-profile again and again, the more cruelly I refused again and again.He may not understand that the more he becomes known, the more afraid I am and the less I dare to accept him.Because once he breaks up with me, I can't even keep the last cherry blossom.

But after all, I am human, and I am still a little girl full of desires.

His entanglement finally defeated my fear; his persistence finally ignited my desire.

In April of the following year, it was another season of cherry blossoms. Under the cherry blossom tree, he confessed to me again.

This time, I agreed.

He was overjoyed, like a kid who has won an award.

He kissed me.

His kiss was soft and wild, like a dream entangled in his fingertips.

I took out my phone with some fear and glanced at the calendar.

It was April [-]rd, and April Fool's Day had already passed.

I closed my eyes with peace of mind, and kissed him for a long time on that afternoon when the cherry blossoms were falling.

·

That night, he invited me out to dinner.

After dinner, passing by a hotel, he took my hand and walked in.

I was a little dazed and wanted to resist, but I couldn't bear his soft and hard palate.

After entering the room, he closed the door, threw me on the bed, and began to undress me.

I gritted my teeth, endured it for a long time, and suddenly remembered that April Fool's Day, and I suddenly felt that something was wrong.

The love I expected should not be like this!

It's like he said he loves me just to sleep with me.

I thought about it a lot. I remembered my identity as a Japanese woman who couldn't get rid of half of my blood in my body. I remembered the taunts and whistles from the door of the class when I just transferred to high school. That dark and lonely night under the cherry tree.

Finally, I hit him and rushed out the door.

·

This is the half-love I talked about before I was 25 years old.

Because one of them was a hilarious lie, and I didn't even see anyone, so it counted as half.

·

After graduating from university, I entered my father's company as an intern.

Later, when I was old, my family began to look for a marriage partner for me, and it was at that time that Ji Ran appeared.

Compared with his family background, my family can only be called "poor and lower-middle peasants".Although I had a good impression of him, I never thought he would propose to me so soon.

About a week after we met, I came out of the company after work and saw a huge white background wall erected on the square opposite the company. Music was playing, and he walked towards me in a white suit and stopped behind him. driving a red Martha.

Catalyzed by intensive urging and applause, I accepted him.

In fact, I was not without suspicion, and I called my mother in Japan specifically for this reason.Mother is a transparent businessman, good at making decisions.

Although I hesitated and hesitated, she still quickly grasped the point.

"Are you afraid of being bullied when you marry, or are you worried that he will be too busy and you will feel lonely?"

"I just want to live a peaceful and stable life, and I'm afraid I can't handle too complicated conflicts well."

"Miyuki, the girls of our Fujiwara family can't live the happy life you mentioned..."

"Mom, can you make me think about it this time?"

"Of course. But I still have to say, if you are worried about being lonely after marriage and don't want to get married, you are actually very stupid. Because marriage is not responsible for ending loneliness."

"Then I'm married, what should I do if I find it's not suitable?"

"Find a lover, only a lover can relieve loneliness."

I smiled silently, "Like you?"

There was a sudden silence on the other end of the phone.

"That's why Dad brought me to China, right?" For the first time in my life, I felt the excitement of expressing myself.

"Enough..." She hung up the phone suddenly.

Although it was an unpleasant exchange, she convinced me to accept Ji Ran.

In other words, accepting something more stable than marriage - wealth.

If marriage doesn't end loneliness, wealth creates more possibilities for it.

Facts also proved that she was not wrong.

On the day of the wedding, the bridal chamber will be filled with festivities and candles.

Ji Ran has been leaning on the bed, playing with his mobile phone attentively, as if he has no interest in me at all.

After several struggles, I successfully defeated the shame, faced Ji Ran, took off all the clothes on my body, and stood in front of him in an almost dedicated way.

But he only said lightly: "Go to sleep."

He slept soundly, snoring lightly, but I was lying on the head of the bed, cold all over.

In the middle of the night, he got up and went to the bathroom. When he lay down again, all kinds of negative emotions suddenly burst out on me. I felt wronged, desperate, and ashamed. I felt that to him, I was nothing but It's just a lamb caught in the trap, I went crazy and lay naked on his body, kissing his lips punitively.

He got up suddenly, threw me away, and asked with disgust, "Do you really want it?"

I nodded strangely.

He got out of bed, took something out of the cupboard, and threw it in front of me.

He took off his pajamas and underwear, lay on the bed, pouted his ass, and said:

"bring it on."

I looked at the extremely realistic thing placed on the underwear, and suddenly burst into tears of laughter.

"Why do you want to marry me?" I asked with a dead face.

"Because you are a woman, and I can only marry women."