city ​​of angels

Chong actually doesn't like to sleep with other people.

Ning Yu said that he is a person who is careful about himself, but it is hard to say whether it is true or not. What Ah Chong wondered is why a person who is very careful about himself can fall asleep in other people's bed so easily.

She doesn't regard herself as an outsider, she seems to sleep very comfortably.Forget it, Ning Yu still hugged himself in his arms desperately, Ah Chong felt that this posture was a little uncomfortable, he was a little taller than Ning Yu, and always felt that Ning Yu hugged himself like he was holding a child.He pushed the person away, and after two seconds, his hands wrapped around him again.Push it away again, and continue to entangle it... What the fuck, I'm upset.

In the past, it was someone else who put his arm on the pillow, but today it was a different person to rely on him, which is a bit ridiculous.But Ah Chong found that he was not very repulsive, after all, it was very comfortable to be hugged by someone, anyway, it wasn't my hands that were numb.Later, he stopped moving, shrank a few times to Ning Yu's shoulder, relaxed his body and fell asleep.

When he was unconscious, he felt that Ning Yu seemed to kiss his forehead.It's very light, maybe it's an illusion, Ah Chong feels that it's a bit like what a mother on TV... puts her child to sleep.

On this night, that kiss seemed to have nothing to do with love.They are more like two people who can't find a home and bump into each other. He gives the stranger a cigarette to relieve his loneliness, and the stranger returns him a gentle and polite kiss.

That kiss brought consciousness to a safe place, and Chong soon fell asleep.

He had a long, long dream.

The dream is so strange.In fact, he should know who he is, but that dream is full of too many images that seem real and fake. Sometimes he feels that he is the person in the dream, and sometimes he feels that he is a bystander.

He was floating in the river, going down the river.The water is warm and very comfortable.Ah Chong could feel himself curled up, he sighed comfortably, he fell asleep, like a baby sleeping in the amniotic fluid.But after a while he felt the water getting hot, and something woke him up—

Ah Chong was patted on the head.

He opened his eyes, and saw the master sitting on a small boat with far-sighted eyes, looking at him.And the whole body is full of naked men, women and children bathing in the river.

Ah Chong suddenly remembered that this was the visit to India that Master took him to when he was an adult.

In the dream he was naked, with a rope tied around his waist, and the other end was connected to Master's boat.

The master on the boat asked, "Chong, look up, where is this?"

Ah Chong in the water looked up.

He glanced at the building in front of him and said clearly, "Master, it's Mrigadāva (Sarnath), we are on the Ganges."

Master nodded: "Continue to rest, we haven't reached the place yet."

A Chong closed his eyes.

He listened to the master chanting scriptures in a low voice on the boat, but he dared not really fall asleep.He began to feel that the temperature of the water was getting hotter and hotter, so hot that it made people uncomfortable, as if his body was going to be cooked.

He was so uncomfortable, the voice of master chanting sutras could not calm people's mind, but at this moment it disturbed one's mind.He slapped the scalding water of the Ganges uneasily in the water, but he was afraid of being punished by his master, so he never dared to say: I'm not feeling well.

After waiting for a long time, the master said lightly, "Open your eyes."

A Chong opened his eyes.

As far as the eye can see, there are burning corpses.A river stretched out on both sides, and the people on the bank cried and howled, sending the corpses to the high platform and burning them with fire.Above the Ganges, there is a pungent and unpleasant smell, which is the stench of charred corpses.The fire was so bright, it was a cruel funeral under the open air.

Ah Chong thought he had forgotten, but his memory was honest.His eyes couldn't help starting to ache, and a sense of sadness came over his heart, and he actually had the urge to shed tears.Even thousands of times, he will still be touched by this scene.

At that moment, he didn't know whether all this was true or not, whether it was a dream or the present... After all, he didn't understand why after so long, he was still touched by the scene he saw when he was an adult.

Those upstream bathed in the river, and those downstream burned their corpses on the bank.It was a scalp-numbing scene, but the master asked Ah Chong to watch it from beginning to end. 【Note】

The master asked Ah Chong, "Do you want to go ashore?"

A Chong was startled, and he slowly shook his head.

The master said: "Chong, the body has turned into coke, and the soul has passed away. So, are you enlightened?"

Are you enlightened?

Achong stared blankly at the soaring flames on both sides of the bank.

The sky is dark, with some dirty yellow, like a layer of unclean haze, only those burning corpses on the shore are so dazzling and bright, like lamps pointing to the underworld.

Ah Chong watched, stared intently, his consciousness was at a loss and he was at a loss.

The young man was ignorant, and before he could fully understand, he was forcefully dragged into this hellish place of death by his master. The master wanted him to see, to understand, to endure, to make a choice, and to understand.

Then the next second... Ah Chong saw a person.

He wasn't sure at first, but he looked carefully, and finally he was sure that that person... was Third Sister.

She was different from others. The other corpses were packed tightly and brought to the burning table, but those people didn't wrap anything for her.She was just so naked, and she was framed on a pile of logs in a dirty body.From a distance, Ah Chong saw this woman he hated and loved with open eyes, her eyes were empty and indifferent, looking in his direction, her eyes were eyes that would never die.

"Do not--"

Ah Chong yelled at the man holding the torch, he yelled hoarsely, and swam forward with all his strength, but the other end of the rope was tied to the master's boat, pinning him in the water of the Ganges, and he was still unable to go ashore.

The fire engulfed Third Sister's eyes.

The master in the dream pulled the rope to call back the little apprentice who was out of control.Ah Chong looked back, and he saw a bit of solemnity, a bit of restraint, and a little bit of compassion in Master's eyes.

Master asked calmly, "Chong, are you enlightened?"

A fire burns into joys and sorrows, and a handful of tears extinguishes love and hatred.Master devotes himself to cultivating Mahayana in Hinayana. He is a man of great wisdom. Master taught him great wisdom, taught him to see through death and learn to live.

Jijiyingying, a mediocre life, seems to be nothing more than that.

Ah Chong saw the self in the dream with tears streaming down his face, with a sad look on his face.

That he choked up, and responded softly: "I understand."

I got it.

How dare I not realize that you gave a big play in honor of life and death as a coming-of-age gift?

In the dream, the fire of burning corpses on the shore became more and more intense, forming a fire that filled the sky... The fire came from the shore, burned into the Ganges, and slowly burned to the boat where Master was sitting on.

Ah Chong was in a trance, watching the fire engulfing him and his master in the dream.

The boat was burned down, and Master's face changed, becoming kind-hearted and solemn.The boat disappeared, and a lotus throne grew under the master's seat. The master floated up and pulled Achong out of the burning Ganges.

Floating in the air, Ah Chong saw himself flying into a beautiful hall in his dream, and the master disappeared.

The hall is resplendent and magnificent.On the high seat sat a thinly dressed man who seemed to be the owner of the place.Achong couldn't see the man's face clearly, but he saw that the king was surrounded by attendants in fine clothes and a mountain of delicacies.

Ah Chong thought, thought... He recalled the strange yet familiar scene in front of him... Before he could figure it out, Ah Chong saw a vicious eagle flying over from behind him.

A Chong panicked and got up to hide.It was at this time that he realized that white wings had grown where his hands should have been... and he was actually - flying.

He flew up in his dream.

When flying into the hall, Ah Chong looked at the ground so bright that his body could be reflected, and found that he had turned into a pigeon.

Ah Chong landed on the left shoulder of the man at the top of the hall, and the chasing eagle landed on the man's right shoulder.

The eagle wanted to peck Ah Chong, but Ah Chong avoided it.The still blurred man in front of him protected the pigeon in his gauntlet and asked the eagle, "What are you doing?"

The eagle with the gloomy eyes in the dream actually spoke.

The eagle said: "This dove is my food. I have been hungry for a long time. Give me back my food."

The man said: "This king once made a vow to treat all living beings in the world equally. How could I let you kill living beings under my nose?"

The king?

Ah Chong looked at the man in amazement... The scene in the dream was illusory yet real, and he gradually realized that this was... a story he had heard before.

The eagle was not afraid, and smiled and sneered: "King, it is just and right for the weak to eat. If you don't let me eat, then what if I starve to death? Am I not a living creature? Is it a joke to treat everyone equally?"

The man was silent for a moment.Say, "I can trade it for something else, but you can't eat this pigeon. Tell me, what do you want?"

Ah Chong felt that he was trembling in his dream.

He knew something was about to happen.

"I only eat raw meat." Ying said, "I only eat meat that has just been cut, with blood on it, and warm raw meat."

The king looked around the hall.

Wherever he looked, everyone flinched and backed away, as if they were afraid that the king would speak and let him sacrifice.

Ah Chong wanted to speak, but the self in the dream couldn't say anything.He flapped his wings and thought, why can't I speak like that eagle?

"Okay." Ah Chong heard the king who couldn't see his face say, "Since I vowed to save all living beings, I have no reason to kill other living beings, so trade me for this pigeon. Bring the knife!"

Bring...a knife?

A Chong felt himself start to tremble.

Eagle was not satisfied.He said: "Although I am a beast, I don't take advantage of you. Since the king wants to save the name of the pigeon, he should exchange it with an equal amount of raw meat..."

Wang said yes.

He asked the attendant to bring the scale, touched Ah Chong's feathers, and then put Ah Chong on one side of the scale.

Ah Chong saw the man unbutton his shirt and start cutting the flesh on his arm.

Ah Chong saw the blood and heard the exclamation of everyone in His Royal Highness.At first, Ah Chong didn't understand... what kind of dream he had entered.His headache intensified, and he saw pieces of bloody flesh being cut off by the man and thrown into the other side of the scale.

But something strange happened.The man cut off one or two pieces of flesh, one arm, two arms, and put them on the scale until the flesh on his body was exhausted, but the steelyard was still uneven.Achong stood on the scale blankly, he didn't understand, is he so heavy?Why is the steelyard not moving?

Ah Chong watched the man cut him with a knife. The man didn't know whether it hurt or not, but Ah Chong began to feel pain.He looked at it carefully in his dream, in his ignorant dream... When Ah Chong felt that he was about to suffocate in pain, he finally saw the man's face clearly.

It turned out...it was Ning Yu's face.

Ning Yu is looking at himself.

Ah Chong shuddered at the sight, and at that moment he just felt his soul fly away.

After cutting too much meat, the one in the dream had no strength. When he staggered to his feet, he seemed to want to climb onto the scale and exchange himself for Ah Chong.

Ah Chong heard that the eagle asked Ning Yu who had turned into a skeleton: "Cut tendons and bones, just to save a pigeon. Do you regret it?" [Note]

In the dream, I don't know if I am a guest, and I can't tell who is who.Ah Chong was frightened by the bloody scene and began to panic, the bloody skeleton fell in front of him, his eyes seemed to be bloodshot.He smiled and said to himself:

"—I don't regret it."

The scale gradually leveled off, but his consciousness gradually became distant again. Ah Chong couldn't see the dream clearly, and only Ning Yu's mutilated body and a sentence stained with blood—'I don't regret' remained in his mind.

I don't regret it.I don't regret it.I don't regret it.

Obviously no regrets, but Ah Chong's eyes were tearing when he heard it, entangled in his mind, whirling, so noisy, so loud... Ah Chong gradually got rid of that dream.

Awakening is inevitable.

This dream is scattered and long, orderly and disorderly, full of horrifying and horrifying images.Ah Chong woke up and found that he was covered in sweat. He opened his eyes and found that the sun was already high outside the window.

The itchy eyes were caused by the princess lying beside his face, licking the remaining tears in the corners of his eyes.

Ah Chong avoided and gave way.It was the first time that there was no one beside the bed, because when he woke up alone, Ah Chong felt empty for a moment.

That dream was fake, but frightening for no reason.

Ah Chong will be stunned.He embraced the princess with his arms, and buried his face in the princess' back.

He waited for his breathing to calm down before getting up.Throat dry, want a glass of water.

When he arrived at the living room, he saw Ning Yu wearing a coat, with his back turned to him and lowered his head to straighten his stomach, not knowing what he was doing.

Ah Chong looked at this figure from behind, and thought to himself, how could this be my cause and effect?

He passed by me, passed through my life, how did he become my cause and effect.Buddha, why didn't you explain why?

Ah Chong held the cat in his arms, thinking about it, and was stunned for a long time.He thought of Ning Yu's body covered in blood in his dream, cutting up his flesh and feeding it to eagles.He thought of the third sister who died in the fire, and thought of all that.

He didn't understand why he had such a dream.Familiar and strange, kind and distant, true and false, difficult to distinguish.Even the cat in my arms now, and Ning Yu who is a few steps away, are like a dream.

Seeing that Ning Yu noticed the movement, he turned his head and asked, "Ah, you're awake."

Ah Chong nodded: "...good morning."

"I called you once, but I didn't yell again after seeing that you were sleeping comfortably." Ning Yu said, "I can eat in about 10 minutes. I made a big bone soup today."

A Chong could only nod his head.

Ning Yu didn't know why, and his words were a little awkward.The weather was extremely hot, but this man was wearing a loose coat, which was a sportswear that Achong had left in the corner of the cabinet.When tidying up the house yesterday, Ah Chong remembered that Ning Yu took it out and washed it.

Ah Chong asked, "Why are you wearing my clothes?"

After a while, Ning Yu turned around in embarrassment and walked towards him.

Only then did Ah Chong see that Ning Yu's belly was bulging out, which looked like she was pregnant at first glance.

"? What are you doing?" Ah Chong began to really wonder if he was still dreaming, "What's wrong with your stomach?"

Ning Yu glanced at him, his eyes dodged: "I have a big baby in my belly."

Ah Chong held the cat in his arms, thinking to himself what kind of tricks is this man trying to do?Then Ning Yu came over, and he was pulled into the room by Ning Yu again, and sat down near the bed.

Ah Chong finally couldn't hold back and asked, "... May I ask what's wrong with your stomach?"

Ning Yu tried his best to put on a very calm expression, and he said: "...Oh, it's nothing, it just ruined your child."

Ning Yu was a little nervous, Ah Chong could see and hear it.His ears were red, and he was a little embarrassed. OK, if you want to achieve a funny effect, then it is indeed a success. It's really funny that a man with a well-rounded appearance looks like this, and his hands are tied up no matter how he looks at it.

Ah Chong was amused very cooperatively.The more tense the other person is, the easier it is for him to relax.

He cooperated and said: "Really? Oh, I can't tell, you still have the skill points to be pregnant? How many months have you been? Did you get a nickname?"

This time Ning Yu looked directly at him with more certainty.He went to pull Ah Chong's uninjured left hand, put it on the zipper of the sportswear, and said, "...Open it and have a look."

Ah Chong said, "Will I give you a caesarean section? I will give birth once the term is full!"

"..." Ning Yu closed his eyes, and he couldn't help laughing, "It's full term! It's not like I'm pregnant with Nezha! Pull it away and have a look!"

The zipper was only pulled a few inches, but Ah Chong hesitated.

He stopped his movements, turned the subject bluntly and said, "Last night before going to bed, what you threw seemed to be a pattern. We can't fall in love today."

Ning Yu's face froze before he replied: "...Well, I'm so unlucky."

Ah Chong found Ning Yu's expression funny.He also said: "On the day you lose less than 1, you can try your best to chase me. If you perform well, you can consider whether to fall in love with you at your discretion. Just treat it... just apply for a job, I am satisfied, I will use you .how, is it fair?"

Love is one day, sleep is one night, one day you are bored and tired, just treat it as the game is over, we will not meet each other again, and we will not hurt each other.Be good to you and be good to me.The coin is our cause, and the relationship is our result. If this coin is caused, we will push all the troubles to it.

right.

Ning Yu looked very happy after listening. He snapped his fingers and readily agreed: "Very good! Thank you boss for giving me a chance!"

"You're welcome." Achong replied politely, the boss' expression, boyfriend's tone, "It should."

Ning Yu seemed very confident.With clear eyes and a calm expression, he urged himself: "Quickly pull it away and see if my pursuit today is in place!"

Ah Chong tilted his head, and he didn't know what kind of medicine Ning Yu was selling in his stomach.He pulled down the zipper vigorously, only to see jelly the size of a grown man's palm roll out of the clothes.

A Chong was stunned.

He forgot to pick up the jelly that fell out and was stuffed into his clothes by Ning Yu.Taking a closer look, it was the X Zhilang that he had never eaten when he was a child, the good-looking one.A few Ning Yu missed and fell to the ground.

The moment the jelly popped out, Ah Chong suddenly had the illusion that it was actually... some of his missing past was cut out by Ning Yu from his belly.He still wants to pull it away and take it by himself, so don't be polite.

Ning Yu said softly: "Look, is it something you like?"

……Yes.

What did it feel like at that moment.Ah Chong thought, he didn't exaggerate to the point of crying, nor was he moved to the point of dying, it's really not that exaggerated.The cruelty of the adult world has long taught Ah Chong to be a bystander of the world.The law of the real world is to put away the inexplicable touch and throbbing, and learn to analyze rationally, like a man, rationally, and calmly, what this person can give to oneself.

What can he give me?Ah Chong thought to himself, he seemed to give everything.

So if... want his meat, will he give it?

A Chong looked up.

He suddenly asked: "Ning Yu, do you regret giving up your life to find me?"

"what?"

"I ask you to know me and come to me, will you regret it?"

Ning Yu was stunned for a moment, and then he blushed.

Inexplicably, there's no reason to blush.Ah Chong couldn't figure it out, he was asleep even though he was asleep, how could Ning Yu make it look like he was in love every time he chatted like this.

Ah Chong saw that he was holding jelly in one hand, and began to search his pocket with the other hand. After searching for a long time, he took out his wallet and took out a card.

"Why do I regret it? I've already said that I'm serious..." Ning Yu stuttered, "Well, I don't have much money. I only worked for a year, and I have more than 5 yuan. Even if it's a bride price Well... Well, I mean, I don't know what to give you, but I am serious, from beginning to end! Just... I am not going to use these to kidnap your will, what do you want to do with me? I... no, I mean, I will take good care of you anyway, I'm a fast learner, and I can take good care of you..."

His voice became lower and lower, as if he had no confidence.Holding a card in one hand and a jelly in the other, the movements are unnatural, and it looks a little clumsy and funny.

Ah Chong pulled out the card with two fingers and looked at it.He smiled and said, "It's not as much as I earn in a month. A poor man is not good enough for me. You need to earn money, friend."

Ning Yu sighed, maybe also felt ashamed, and whispered: "I will, I will make you a lot of money, and I will take care of the money for you, okay..."

Ah Chong smiled, returned the card to Ning Yu, and looked out the window sideways.

Ning Yu in front of him felt that the atmosphere was strange, he held his bank card and pretended to groan, and bent down to pick up the jelly that fell on the ground.He felt that Ah Chong was not as excited as he imagined, and began to smooth things over for himself: "...the jelly is a courier that arrived this morning. I thought about how to give it to you. Isn't it funny..."

A Chong grabbed his arm.

Ning Yu looked back, and he saw Ah Chong's eyes slamming over, a little heavy.

The gaze was so heavy that Ning Yu could only stop laughing.

"Ning Yu," Ah Chong asked a second time, "Will you regret it?"

What regrets, Ah Chong doesn't know why he asked such a question, but he just wanted to ask.

He also couldn't tell whether he was asking Ning Yu in his dream or Ning Yu who was holding the jelly carefully at the moment.

Ning Yu was stunned.He frowned and raised his head. The bright sunlight hit half of his face, and one of his eyes was like a small sun, which was unbelievably bright under the light.

Ning Yu said, "I won't."

A Chong felt that his breathing was a little tight.

he asked a third time.

"Do you regret it?"

Ning Yu didn't ask Ah Chong what he wanted to say with this thoughtless remark, and what he regretted about it.Ning Yu seemed to have sensed something, and the jelly in his hand gradually became tighter.

The wind came in, and it was hot and humid.It was so quiet, Ah Chong even felt that he could hear each other's heartbeats, it was the same rhythm, beating the two souls that were getting closer.

Ah Chong heard Ning Yu say in a word: "No, you believe me... I just like you, I am willing to do anything for you, I am willing, and I have no regrets."

He repeated: "I don't regret it."

Ning Yu's voice was actually very soft, but he still slammed his head and face.The same sentence instantly threw Ah Chong into that dream of no regrets.

The curtain was pulled open by Ning Yu who got up early.The light from the window also came in, hitting their faces.

The light from the City of Angels was shattered, like a shattered mirror, and glass shards scattered on their faces and bodies, making people itchy and painful.Some of those fragments scratched the skin, some became nutrients, and some new things grew out of the pain, which seemed to be a warning, saying: You must be a better person.

For the first time, Ah Chong began to like this hot and contradictory city.There are no angels with wings in this city, but there must be a god or a Buddha living in the clouds, and there must be a quiet corner where the past can be placed.

There are thousands of forms of love, which will make some people collapse, some people will melt, some people will lose sight of one another, and some people will be lost and indulged.But Ah Chong felt that because of some inexplicable delivery and trust, he was reorganizing himself and growing up again.

It feels like... I also fell in love for the first time.

A Chong smiled.He looked at the jelly in Ning Yu's hand and felt that he was suddenly happy and had to do something.

So he reached out and touched Ning Yu's red ears, and said, "You barely passed the exam today, let's fall in love! Boyfriend!"

Ning Yu didn't realize why the topic changed so quickly: "...ah?"

Ah Chong opened his hands and looked at the boy in front of him with a smile: "I'm talking about falling in love, what ah! Feed me a jelly from now on, and you will get a kiss like a man of sex! You can make money without losing money." , jumping off a building for a big sale, here I suggest you speed up and act, every time you hesitate, you will lose a kiss, it’s a good loss, a good loss.”

Ning Yu was instantly amused and laughed out loud.The two sat on the bed surrounded by sunlight. Before feeding the jelly, Ning Yu leaned over first, violated the rules, and smiled and kissed today's boyfriend Ah Chong.