so many troublemakers

"What are you looking at?" The bleary-eyed Gu Jixiu leaned on Ji Lingchen's chest with one hand, and put his hairy head next to Ji Lingchen's chin.

Rubbing his eyes, Gu Jixiu looked at Ji Lingchen's phone screen: "It's trending again!"

"Good morning." He bowed his head and kissed Gu Jixiu's hairpin—a faint scent of shampoo—Ji Lingchen nodded and said, "Yeah~ Who is your husband, the heat of walking~"

After chuckling a few times, Gu Jixiu raised his head and gnawed on Ji Lingchen's chin: "Yeah, you're the best!"

Just after waking up, Gu Jixiu was still not quite sober, and his whole body was lazy.In the past, Ji Lingchen's chest slumped, and Gu Jixiu, who had grown a little meat, looked like a glutinous rice dumpling just out of the pot, soft and sweet, and still steaming hot: "Today is a holiday, we..."

"Let's go shopping!"

Be a steel otaku who either checks Weibo every day, reads novels, lifts dumbbells or treadmills.She suddenly offered to go out for shopping. If something goes wrong, there must be a demon!

Gu Jixiu's sixth sense, as alert as a small animal, told him that Ji Lingchen must have an ulterior conspiracy!

"What do you want to buy?" Gu Jixiu glanced at Ji Lingchen, with a small expression that I guessed that you had no good intentions.

Ji Lingchen basically has no need for material things. He does not pursue famous brand clothes, is not interested in luxury goods, and rarely wears accessories.Except for the high-end skin care products necessary for celebrities, Ji Lingchen actually didn't spend much.

Just such a person, go out shopping, what are you shopping for?Do you visit cosmetics counters?

"Buy thigh socks!" Ji Lingchen said as a matter of course: "Fishing net ones, gauze ones, pink red purple ones...get a bunch of the same, and you can change them."

'Sure enough, there is a conspiracy!It's just that there is no ulterior motive, but a cheeky bluntness. Blinking his eyes twice, Gu Jixiu poked out the tip of his tongue and wiped his dry lips: "It's not suitable for the two of us to buy it?"

"Why?" Ji Lingchen looked down at Gu Jixiu, apparently very puzzled by his words: "Of course we have to go buy it ourselves~ After all, I want you to wear it and I will see it, so I must buy what you like and I like~ How can we be sure which one we like if we are not there to choose? If someone else buys it and we don’t like it, wouldn’t it be a waste?”

"I'm done with Baidu, and the evaluation of this store is very good!" Said Ji Lingchen and handed the phone to Gu Jixiu: "This is the one, the name of the store is Simi Space."

Glancing at the store introduction on Ji Lingchen's phone, Gu Jixiu turned into a boiled crab in an instant—too red!

"This is a sex toy store..." Gu Jixiu whispered, burying his face in Ji Lingchen's chest.

"That's right, this kind of store has a lot of variety! I just bought some enemas and condoms, aren't they almost used up?" The more we talked, the more interested we became, and Ji Lingchen became a little bit elated: "What else does he have? Maid outfits and the like, we can make a lot of purchases! Then keep them at home, right? Oh my god~ Just think about it..."

"I wouldn't wear it even if I bought it." Gu Jixiu murmured softly.

"That's not necessarily the case, you still said you don't wear thigh socks!" Ji Lingchen held the winning ticket in his face, rubbed Gu Jixiu's head and said seriously: "Xiao Jiji, people~ are fickle! Be prepared~ It's not very expensive anyway, much cheaper than the clothes you bought for me!"

"I bought you all high-end customization, okay? Can they be the same!" Looking up, Gu Jixiu pouted: "It's not the same thing at all, how can we compare it?"

After thinking for a while, Ji Lingchen agreed: "That's right, the clothes you buy are all disposable. Although the clothes in this store are made of less fabric, they can be washed and worn again. It's really different."

"That's not disposable!" After thinking for a long time, Gu Jixiu found that those clothes seemed to be disposable.

For example, the Hermès that Gu Zejun likes to wear is written on the label not to be washed + not to be dry-cleaned.There is even a joke about Hermes clothes on the Internet:

Once upon a time, there was a dress called Hermes.Even if it gets wet and dirty, it will only sleep in the wind.It has only one chance to be washed in its life, and that is when death comes.

So Gu Jixiu could only weakly and feebly argue: "That's called not washing or dry cleaning..."

Feeling that his explanation was very weak, Gu Jixiu hurriedly added: "Besides, I bought you so many clothes, and the brand gave you so many new seasons. Why do you care if it can be washed? You wear it Lost it once."

"Well, you're right!" After kissing Gu Jixiu on the forehead a few times, Ji Lingchen said dotingly, "Throw it away, throw it all away."

Curling his lips, Gu Jixiu leaned back on Ji Lingchen's body again: "I was right."

"Then shall we still go shopping?"

Silence for a while.Gu Jixiu whispered: "We... will go later... when it gets darker."

"You can go in the middle of the night, they are open 24 hours a day." Holding Gu Jixiu's armpits up, Ji Lingchen kissed him vigorously (or gnawed on his cheek).

As a sex toy store, 24-hour operation is their basic professionalism.

It may be because Ji Lingchen was too sexually aroused by the thought of nightlife, he was active all day like a drugged monkey, jumping up and down around Gu Jixiu.

"Xiao Jiji, what color do you like? I think you will look good in purple, and it will complement your skin tone, right? Speaking of which, I have never seen you wearing purple, so I must try it this time!"

"Baby, do you like bows? Or fluffy rabbit fur balls, it must be very cute hanging on your lap! It's also cute on the neck~ the little Jiji is also cute~ cute everywhere! Buy a set, no! One set is not enough! Let's get another set!"

"I heard that the cat ear dress also has a collar! Your neck is so slender and beautiful, it must be very attractive to wear! There are also leather covers for your wrists and ankles, too! You need a complete set!"

"If you wear the matching miniskirt, my God, it will definitely make your legs look very slender and beautiful!!"

"Baby, I actually think red is pretty good too! When the time comes, you must buy red, red clothes and white skin, the visual impact will definitely be great!"

"Honey……"

"Da Ji Ji..." With a sigh, Gu Jixiu closed the laptop, and looked helplessly at Ji Lingchen who had put on a pitiful doggy eye: "You..."

Seeing Ji Lingchen's face, Gu Jixiu couldn't say anything to reproach him.Finally, Gu Jixiu sighed helplessly: "Have you figured out what to have for dinner?"

"I know there is a Malatang restaurant near that store. It's super clean! It's also super delicious! It's a DIY shop. They wash and boil the vegetables by themselves, and then add the ingredients. Let's go eat. After eating Malatang, we You can also go shopping directly." Blinking his big eyes innocently, Ji Lingchen pretended nothing happened, as if the sensualist just now was not him.

"Okay, listen to you. Let's go to dinner at five o'clock, and go to the store at seven o'clock when it gets dark, okay?"

The little chicken pecking rice nodded, and Ji Lingchen said obediently, "Okay!"

"Then I'm going to work now..."

"I'll accompany you!" Ji Lingchen said hastily.

Smiling, Gu Jixiu could only tell: "Then don't bother me."

"Uh-huh."

10 minutes have passed~

"Xiao Jiji, his store has good reviews! There is also that kind of see-through shirt, wow, this is so sexy! It must be very suitable for you! Let's buy... black! Ahhhhhhh!! I want the same one again Alright, it looks great!"

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

"This headband! This is so good, don't you see it? Just take a look, this headband can sense the wearer's emotions and say yes, and the rabbit ears can move by themselves! Be sure to buy one!"

"I'll go, this is his new style! It's so beautiful. This dress... um... well, it's not clothes. It's... underwear... Don't worry about these details. Hey, this underwear looks very convenient, I Can I buy more colors for you?"

……

"..." Gu Jixiu.

Under Ji Lingchen's eager anticipation, it was finally time for the two of them to go out.

The mala tang shop that Ji Lingchen mentioned is indeed not very far from the sex toy shop, and it is only two stations away.

So after discussing with Gu Jixiu, Ji Lingchen decided to park the car in the parking space around the Malatang shop.After the two of them had eaten and drank enough, they didn't drive, but walked over to buy things.It's just like taking a walk after a meal, and it's also a good way to digest food.

The price of this kind of Malatang restaurant is naturally higher than that of ordinary stores, and naturally there are fewer people eating, but this is exactly what Ji Lingchen wants.After all, Ji Lingchen is not a big or small star now, and some little girls can recognize him without putting on a disguise.This kind of environment with few people is just right, Ji Lingchen can also take off his mask and flat glasses with peace of mind, and have a good meal with Gu Jixiu with peace of mind.

After choosing a corner table to occupy, Ji Lingchen and Gu Jixiu went to pick up and wash the vegetables.

Gu Jixiu can't eat those pills, there are too many flavors and food additives in them, not necessarily what will cause him to be allergic.So he mostly picks vegetables and noodles, such as spinach, kohlrabi, mushrooms and the like.

Ji Lingchen took two pieces of ham and pork belly, and the rest was about the same as Gu Jixiu.

After picking out the dishes, the two went to weigh them first: Ji Lingchen's was 50 yuan, and Gu Jixiu's was 23 yuan.

After paying the money, Ji Lingchen asked Gu Jixiu to go back and sit down, and he took two bowls of vegetables to the side of the sink to wash them, and washed the spinach leaves until they were wilted before handing them over to the shopkeeper for cooking.

After waiting for about 10 minutes, the waiter brought the dinner for the two of them:

Gu Jixiu's bowl and Ji Lingchen's basin.

Ji Lingchen had no taboos, so he put the sugar, vinegar, sesame paste and spicy on the table one by one.Gu Jixiu only added some sesame because he couldn't eat spicy food.

The two rested for a while after eating, and at about seven o'clock, Ji Lingchen pulled Gu Jixiu out of the Mala Tang restaurant on time.

"Is it delicious?" Ji Lingchen asked while holding Gu Jixiu in his arms.

"It's delicious." Gu Jixiu, who had half of his face wrapped in a scarf by Ji Lingchen, nodded: "If we have time, we can eat again."

Raising his hand to put Gu Jixiu's hat that was about to fall back on the other's head, Ji Lingchen said with a smile: "When we both retire, we will open a shop like this! Our whole is more refined, and the dishes must be more abundant."

"For example, oranges, bananas, and apples! They can all be added to the menu!"

"..." Gu Jixiu: "Is this still edible?"

"I don't know. There are always fools who will try it out of curiosity. We can see their reaction at that time. If the reaction is good, we will try it. If the reaction is not good, forget it."

While chatting, they slowly followed the Gaode map, and the two found [Simi Space] in about half an hour.

Open the door and enter, there are two people in the room.The person who received the payment was a young man in his twenties sitting at the door, and the waiter was a round-faced girl in her twenties.

Seeing someone coming in, the little girl who was standing at the cashier chatting with the other party came over with a smile.

Seeing that Ji Lingchen and Gu Jixiu were two men hugging each other, the well-informed little girl not only didn't look at anything strange, but said openly, "What do you two need? I can introduce it to you."

The little girl behaved exactly like a waiter in an ordinary store, she was cheerful and enthusiastic about serving the two of them, and she didn't mean to be shy at all.However, Gu Jixiu blushed when he heard this, and wished he could tuck his head into his clothes so that no one could see him.

"No need to introduce, just take us around from beginning to end, and just write down what I said." Ji Lingchen saw a lot of things when he browsed the web earlier, so his goal is still very clear of.

Hearing this, the little girl's eyes narrowed into smiles. This is a big customer!Three to five years to see a big client!Thinking about the commission she was about to get, the little girl became even more enthusiastic.

"Okay! This way, please!" After saying that, the little girl walked ahead and led the way.

While walking Ji Lingchen asked the little girl to record what he said.

"Remember this!"

"This, this piece is all written down."

"and this!"

……

Walking around in a circle, the little girl found that what Ji Lingchen asked him to record were all masturbation items (masturbation cups, massage sticks, etc.).

The little girl doesn’t feel bad if she’s like this, the key is that Ji Lingchen also asked her to record a lot of exaggerated things: such as a dildo with the thickness of an adult’s arm, a two-meter-long pull bead, and a painful skin whip etc

For a moment, the little girl looked at Gu Jixiu with a tangled look in her eyes.After hesitating for a few seconds, the little girl opened her mouth in the mood of 'seeing death as home': "This gentleman!"

"Huh?" Ji Lingchen looked at the little girl: "It's over? Have you finished looking at all the products in your house?"

"En." The little girl nodded, and then continued: "But..."

"That's how it is. Don't want the ones I asked you to remember. The rest are the same, one for each color."

The little girl who was a little worried about Ji Lingchen's troubles and wanted to persuade her, her eyes lit up instantly when she heard Ji Lingchen's words: "Okay, sir! You have such a good vision! You are very good!"

"Hahaha." Ji Lingchen, who pinched his nose through the mask and never noticed the little girl's tangled expression, smiled and said, "I think so too. Your house can swipe cards, right?"

"can!"

Although Ji Lingchen bought quite a variety of items, there wasn't a single big item, they were all small items.Especially the pile of clothes that don't have much fabric, the lumps are only the size of a fist, and they don't take up space, not to mention they are fluffy.

The two people in the store packed all Ji Lingchen's purchases plus the gifts they gave, and in the end it was only filled with two large black plastic bags.Originally, Ji Lingchen thought he could carry it by himself, but Gu Jixiu thought that if each of them carried one, Ji Lingchen could still have one free arm to hold him, so he insisted that he also carry a bag.

Each carrying a big plastic bag, Ji Lingchen walked out the door with Gu Jixiu in his arms.

The little girl didn't say anything like 'Welcome to come next time', she guessed that with so many things, Ji Lingchen and the others would not come again for a while.

[Simi Space] After all, it is a sex toy store, so it is not easy to open it on the front of the street.In fact, its location is relatively remote, and there is a long trail from the brightly lit road, not to mention that this trail has no street lights yet.

It was completely dark at this moment, and the pitch-black road was naturally a bit difficult to walk.Gu Jixiu took out his phone and turned on the flashlight function, using that tiny bit of light to illuminate the way for the two of them.

Ji Lingchen and Gu Jixiu walked out of the store for about two minutes, and they were in the middle of the underworld.Suddenly, three people rushed out from both sides of the road, and they formed a triangle, enclosing Ji Lingchen and Gu Jixiu in the middle.

Ji Lingchen, who 'doesn't know the dangers of the world', was stunned for a moment. He didn't realize that this was the case. He blinked a few times and said, "We know each other?"

With a 'crack' sound, the three of them took out a knife from their cuffs with great skill.The blade of the knife was shining brightly reflecting the moonlight, and Ji Lingchen could clearly see that the man in front of him was pointing the tip of the knife at himself and Gu Jixiu.Turning his head to look at the person beside him, it was also a gesture.

Facing Ji Lingchen and Gu Jixiu, he deliberately lowered his voice and said, "Hand over your wallet, mobile phone, watch, and everything else of value to me!"

There's nothing else I don't understand, Ji Lingchen knows that he and Gu Jixiu met the legendary 'robbery'.

This is the first time Ji Lingchen has been robbed in his life. How should I put it~ This feeling is actually quite novel.

Putting the bag in his hand on the ground, and holding it in Gu Jixiu's arms, Ji Lingchen whispered, "Baby, close your eyes and stand here obediently, don't be afraid."

Even though he knew Ji Lingchen's skill, Gu Jixiu was still trembling nervously.Taking a deep breath, Gu Jixiu clenched his fists and said stiffly, "I... am not afraid. Da Jiji, don't worry about me."

"Good." Saying that, Ji Lingchen lowered his head and kissed Gu Jixiu's forehead.

In fact, the exchange between Gu Jixiu and Ji Lingchen didn't take more than a minute, but the robbers didn't have that time to look at them.

The remoteness of this place is remote, but it is also relatively speaking.If it takes a long time, they can't guarantee that no one will pass by.

So a robber beside Ji Lingchen and the others directly raised his foot and kicked Ji Lingchen's leg, and said impatiently, "Didn't you hear what Big Brother said!"

But Ji Lingchen was so easily attacked?Half squatting down and sweeping the legs, the three robbers fell down directly.

Ji Lingchen used 3% of his strength, and the two unlucky guys next to him and directly in front of him couldn't get up within two or three minutes.Ji Lingchen held Gu Jixiu in his arms and turned around, and kicked the wrist of the only one standing holding the knife.Before the opponent could react, the knife was kicked away by Ji Lingchen, not to mention his wrist was also broken by Ji Lingchen.

At this time, the two who were kicked by Ji Lingchen also got up. Seeing a little friend holding his wrist and crying, they also panicked.But after all, they were the brave ones. Not only did the two of them not run away, but they rushed up with two shining knives in their hands.

In the dark sky, the two reflective knives are like guiding coordinates.Ji Lingchen accurately grasped the knife-holding wrist of the man rushing in front and twisted it, successfully snatching the knife from him.

How could the 'victim', Ji Lingchen, be polite to him when the other party was stabbed?With a backhand knife, he penetrated the opponent's shoulder and completely lost his fighting power.

In less than 5 minutes, the three robbers let Ji Lingchen abolish two of them.

Seeing that the situation was over, the remaining one hurriedly stopped his forward steps and turned around to run.

Ji Lingchen, who never took revenge overnight, let him run away?With a flick of the wrist, the blood-stained knife pierced the opponent's calf—Tu Liang.

"Da Jiji, are you ready?" No more movement could be heard, Gu Jixiu opened his eyes furtively.

While tying him up with the waistbands of the three robbers, Ji Lingchen smiled and said, "Baby, can you call the police for me?"