he can fly

110.

"I'm cold," said the duck,

"Can you warm me up?"

-

Yan Tang took Ai Bao to the hospital to get Yan Dong's death certificate, and then went home.

In fact, he was inexperienced, his mind was not very clear, and he was impulsive.

Funeral home cremation still needs to go through other procedures. Now that he has received a death certificate, he still needs to apply for a resident funeral certificate.

And this is obviously not something that can be done tonight.

What's more, the funeral home is a bit far away, and I went to the outskirts of the city.Even if Yan Tang drove to the highest speed, it used to take more than 3 hours.

Ai Bao snored and slept for a long time on the way to the hospital. The car was jolting. Yan Tang also brought him his favorite little yellow duck blanket. Ai Bao felt very comfortable sleeping in the car.

It seemed that he slept on the back of a lamb, and the lamb led him to run around on the grassland.

On the return trip, Ai Bao was much more awake and couldn't sleep.

Yan Tang bought several bottles of chocolate milk for Ai Bao in the hospital, and Ai Bao hugged the little yellow duck blanket in the car, drinking chocolate milk happily.

Ai Bao opened the car window and looked outside vigorously, "Yan Yan, where are we now?"

he asked.

Yan Tang replied, "We are at the riverside now."

Abbot snorted.

He thought for a while, and suddenly said to Yan Tang, "Can Ai Bao and Yan Yan take a walk by the river? Ai Bao can't sleep now."

Yan Tang was a little surprised.

He asked Ai Bao, "Baby, why do you suddenly want to take a walk? Are you not tired?"

Ai Bao shook his head, "I'm not tired, Ai Bao wants to take a walk with Yan Yan."

Yan Tang looked at the time, it was already past 4 in the morning, the sky was not yet bright, only a faint white light appeared.

If Aibao wants to take a walk, it's okay for him to accompany him.

"That's ok, baby, I'll stop the car." Yan Tang said,

Ai Bao nodded, he looked at the black sky and the black river outside the window.

He has been here many times, but this time, Hedu is sleeping peacefully, no one knows that he and Yantang have been here.

This made Aibao feel a little excited.

"Let's go, baby, let's get out of the car." Yan Tang said as he helped Ai Bao unbuckle his seat belt.

Ai Bao hugged his little yellow duck blanket and said goodbye to it, "See you later, Blanket."

The little yellow duck blanket also rubbed against Ai Bao's glutinous rice ball face.

For Aibao, the river in the early morning is no stranger, he and Yan Tang have seen it once.

It was the early morning of the Spring Festival, and Yan Tang took Ai Bao to ride a motorcycle to see the night scene.

However, the section of the river where they stayed today did not have any night scenes to see.

Nothing but rolling mountains.

Ai Bao was lying on the fence, he looked down at the calm river at the foot of him and Yan Tang.

The river is asleep now, its open surface forever calm, silent and soundless.

And only in the unknown depths, there is an undercurrent.

Ai Bao has been staring at the river below, and he intends to look at it this time, without saying hello to it.

"Baby, don't lie down too hard." Yan Tang pulled Ai Bao off the fence, "These fences are very old, if you lie down on it, if it breaks accidentally, you will fall."

As he said, he hugged Ai Bao in his arms.

Abbot snorted.

"Why is Yan Yan unhappy today?" They walked a distance, Ai Bao asked Yan Tang.

Yan Tang didn't expect Ai Bao to ask himself.

He considered it for a while, and finally decided to tell the truth to Ai Bao.

In the face of the death of his relatives, Ai Bao should be more mature than him, and he is not a child anymore, so there is no need to hide it.

"Baby," Yan Tang said slowly.

He found that when he called Ai Bao, and Ai Bao looked at him with a pair of bright round eyes, the words in his mouth, which were still somewhat obscure, became much smoother in an instant.

"My father passed away this evening," he said.

Abbott showed no other emotion, neither sympathy nor surprise.

He continued to ask Yan Tang, "Is that what made Yan Yan sad?"

Yan Tang couldn't answer.

He half hugged Ai Bao, and they walked slowly on this familiar coastal road.

The summer wind blew over, bringing with it some water vapor from the river and the dry heat from the land, and rushed Ai Bao and Yan Tang into their arms.

Yan Tang pursed his lower lip, "Maybe this is one of them."

He said.

Ai Bao asked, "Then what else makes Yan Yan so sad?"

He looked at Yan Tang and saw that he hesitated.

"Speak to Ai Bao about Yan Yan." He held Yan Tang's arm and shook it coquettishly.

Yan Tang brushed his hair with the other hand and stroked it back.

"Actually, I'm not very sure, baby." Yan Tang said helplessly.

"If I have to say it," he looked at Ai Bao beside him, and paused, "maybe it's because, in my past, my father still played the role of...a relatively important person."

"Is Yan Yan very sad that he left?" Ai Bao asked the question just now again.

Yan Tang opened his mouth, and he found that he was also speechless.

In fact, he wasn't sure either.

In the past youth, because of his father, he avoided things like sex like snakes and scorpions.

He's disgusting, disgusting about kissing, fondling and more.

And at the age of sixteen or seventeen, it happens to be the time when boys have the most desire to explore this thing.

When he was in love with Guo Jiayi at the beginning of his relationship, Guo Jiayi invited him many times. After Yan Tang refused many times, he decided to give up the next best thing, just wanting to kiss Yan Tang.

Yan Tang also felt that it would be a bit unseemly for couples to refuse the past like this, so he hesitated for a few seconds before agreeing.

But he told Guo Jiayi that we can only kiss each other on the lips.

Guo Jiayi said yes.

So Yan Tang resisted the discomfort, and gently pressed Guo Jiayi's lips.

What Yan Tang didn't expect was that Guo Jiayi directly stuck his tongue into his mouth.

This made Yan Tang push Guo Jiayi away on the spot, retched, and vomited out.

Yan Tang still remembered the slippery and sticky feeling of that tongue.

Then, when Guo Jiayi and Xu Zhengshen got mixed up and he broke through, Guo Jiayi felt a little guilty, but felt that he was justified.

He looked at Yan Tang with a strange look, and said to him, 'Shouldn't this be all your fault? ?It's because you are too repulsed by these things that I went to find Brother Xu, right?Why don't you find the reason from yourself?But you know to blame me? ?Don't you think you can't satisfy me, even if you kiss me, you will throw up, like a waste? '

When Guo Jiayi said this, the corners of his mouth were still red and swollen.

It was the mark left by being bitten out.

Yan Tang once had a very painful time.

He was loathing himself for not being able to be sexually positive, or normal, like a normal person.

But at the same time, he really couldn't accept this thing. Whenever he thought of sex, he thought of his father lying on the ground barking like a dog.

The inflictor and aggravator of these pains is undoubtedly his father, Yan Dong.

Since the divorce, he has really let himself go.

He didn't care about Yan Tang's feelings at all. He took people home and asked them or them to wear Yan Tang's mother's pajamas.

They do disgusting things in bed, on the floor, on balconies.

Yan Tang once stayed in the kitchen for a long time in the middle of the night.

He thought about the knife, stabbing his father and his father's lover to death.

In this way, he will no longer feel uncomfortable, and will no longer be torn alive by contradictions.

In the past, the shadow that Yan Dong brought to Yan Tang and the torture that Yan Tang suffered may be the source of Yan Tang's difficulty in letting go.

"...Baby, I don't know," Yan Tang said, looking at Ai Bao.

They walked to the chairs by the river and sat down.

Yan Tang stroked Ai Bao's curly hair blown by the night wind.

"...my father once hurt me and made me suffer for a long time." Yan Tang said, "I don't know because I can't forget this painful experience and his people are gone. , My resentment has no object to blame."

"Is it because I hate him, but at the same time I always miss the way he was good to me a long time ago-or is it both?"

Yan Tang said, "I don't know."

Ai Bao stared at Yan Tang, his eyes were imprinted with the shadows of the street lamps on Binjiang Road, it seemed that there were stars jumping in them.

Yan Tang continued, "I think I'm terrible, baby."

He and Ai Bao sat face to face, Yan Tang rubbed his face with his own hands, trying to rub off the depression on his face.

"I think I'm a failure, baby." Yan Tang said, "I have a deep sense of frustration in this father-son relationship with Yan Dong. In fact, I think deep down in my heart, I still love him. I know, but He is also, a corner of his heart also loves his children."

"I originally thought that I still have many years to improve the father-son relationship between me and him. One day I will be able to let go of all the past and be in the same room with him peacefully." Yan Tang stared at Ai Bao, he and Ai Bao Said something he had never said to anyone.

"However, in the end, I found out that I was peacefully sharing the same room with him, and it turned out that he was lying in the ward while I was sitting on a chair beside him." He said.

"I'm sorry, baby, I think I'm too cowardly, I can't let go of too many things." Yan Tang said bitterly.

Bitterness spread from his mouth.

Abbot didn't say anything.

He leaned over and kissed Yan Tang's face.

"Yan Yan is not cowardly." Ai Bao said, "Yan Yan is just too sad now, that's why she thinks so."

"But Yan Yan is never wrong," Ai Bao shook his head, denying Yan Tang's words, "regrets can't be the source of pain. Lost is lost, injured is injured, not because someone else died , everything that was strict before has become something that shouldn't be."

"Why do you give the dead people a higher status?" Ai Bao said, his round face was rarely expressionless, and it looked a bit cold in the night, "Because they can't speak, Or is it because of the unknown fear of death?"

Yan Tang was a little surprised by Ai Bao's words.

"Yan Yan, don't be sad." Ai Bao kissed Yan Tang's cheek again.

He slapped Yan Tang stickyly, and rubbed his face full of attachment.

The little fat on Ai Bao's face was too soft, like a fluffy pillow that had been basking in the sun, Yan Tang couldn't help rubbing Ai Bao's soft doughy face.

"Maybe I still have some fear of death." Yan Tang kissed Ai Bao's forehead and said.

Aibao can do not care about life and death at all, he has the logic of his world.

But Yan Tang is just one of the mortal beings in this world after all, he can't ignore it like Ai Bao.

Abbot snorted.

"That's normal too," he said.

"People are always full of fear of the unknown," Ai Bao said, and he sighed, "But death and life are the same, they are both unconscious and predestined. Birth At that time, everyone was not afraid, why did they die and became afraid?"

Yan Tang thought for a while and replied, "Maybe it's because he can think."

Abbot snorted.

"That's really a curse." He said something incomprehensible.

Yan Tang felt as if he understood what Ai Bao meant.

Still, he dismissed the subject.

"Thank you baby for comforting me." Yan Tang said, "You are the best baby in the world."

Ai Bao listened, a little embarrassed, "Hey, Ai Bao didn't do anything."

As he spoke, he rested his head on Yan Tang's shoulder again.

The two of them sat next to each other on the chair by the river. The stone chair was not cold in summer, and even had some residual heat after being exposed to the sun during the day.

It's almost 6 o'clock now, the whale flying into the sky showed its white belly, and the sky has already opened up half of the sky.

Yan Tang and Ai Bao sat on chairs, waiting for the sunrise.

He looked down at Ai Bao on his shoulder.

Ai Bao is still in good spirits, blinking his eyes, and smacking his mouth from time to time, recalling the taste of the chocolate milk he drank in the car.

Looking down from Yan Tang's angle, he could see the sunlight jumping on Ai Bao's thin and dense eyelashes.

Gradually, the sunlight dyed into Ai Bao's pupils, rendering his already light-colored amber eyes like flowing gold.

Ai Bao was still humming his out-of-tune song, his voice was a little low, Yan Tang couldn't hear him clearly.

His little curly hair scraped Yan Tang's neck from time to time, Yan Tang couldn't ignore it.

It would be fine if it stayed that way.

Yan Tang gently held Ai Bao's fat hand and thought.