he can fly

99.

Her back doesn't hurt at all, and she happily goes out to sow seeds every day.

Everyone calls her:

"Old and crazy old lady."

-

Chen Shan doesn't have many friends.

There is a good sister who I met in high school and has been dating until now.

The others are just casual acquaintances.

And that friend who has the best relationship with her is not in the country now, busy with her own affairs.

Chen Shan didn't want to bother her either.

But there are some things that Chen Shan wants to talk to others for no reason.

Probably because of the desire to complain.

Since the visit to the meeting the day before yesterday, the company has had no activities. After a short day of relaxation, YT company resumed its normal work rhythm.

Chen Shan is still wearing that golden necklace today.

She touched the necklace around her neck, not knowing why, but she just didn't want to take it off.

"Shanshan, why do you look unwell?" When Chen Shan walked into Yan Tang's office holding the documents as usual, Yan Tang raised his head and looked at her carefully.

Chen Shan was a little taken aback, "What's wrong? I look bad?"

She said touching her face with the back of her hand.

"Didn't have a good rest last night?" Yan Tang raised his eyebrows and said, "You are still working, so you should take a good rest and don't tire yourself out."

Yan Tang knew Chen Shan's workaholic temperament. Once she devoted herself to her work, she would really devote herself wholeheartedly, even without eating or drinking.

At the same time, Chen Shan is a perfectionist.

No matter how tired and haggard she is, she will still make up to make herself look energetic and beautiful.

According to her, there is nothing that cannot be solved with a glass of iced Americano.

If there is, then two glasses.

Therefore, it is really rare for her to look so distraught and melancholy today.

"No, I'm resting okay." Chen Shan waved her hand, "Don't worry about me, I'm fine."

Hearing this, Yan Tang put the chrysanthemum tea in his hand on the table.

He sat upright and glanced up and down at Chen Shan.

"You don't look like 'don't worry,'" Yan Tang said.

He and Chen Shan have been friends for so many years, so he still knows her more or less.

Her 'I'm okay', many times, translates to, 'I'm not very good, but I think I should be able to handle it.I don't want to bother you, so I don't want to tell you what happened. '

"You sit down, let's chat." Yan Tang asked Chen Shan to sit on the chair opposite to his office.

Chen Shan waved her hand and was about to say no, she was fine.

Yan Tang saw what she meant.

"Sit down, let's talk," he pointed to the chair again, and said in an unquestionable tone, "It's not like we didn't talk like this when the company was first established."

Chen Shan thinks about it, and it seems to be the same reason.

When YT Company first started, Yan Tang and Chen Shan were under a lot of pressure.

The pressure of financing, projects, loans, enrollment expansion, etc. was suddenly suppressed, like a boulder suddenly pressed on a tree that was not yet strong.

At that time, Yan Tang's extremely strong resistance to pressure was manifested.

Whenever Chen Shan encounters mistakes and problems and her mentality is about to collapse, Yan Tang will sit face to face with her, and the two of them will talk about solutions and other things at the same time.

At that time, Yan Tang and Chen Shan each had a cup of hot skim milk in front of them.

Chen Shan still remembers the erratic steam on the hot milk and the smooth taste.

Slowly, Chen Shan's strong psychology was gradually shaped.

She became more and more independent and stronger.

The chat with Yan Tang also changed from twice a week to once a week, then once a fortnight, and then once a month.

In the end it was no longer needed.

She can already handle all the things she is responsible for alone, and adjust her mentality.

Thinking about it this way, for some reason, Chen Shan still misses coming here.

She used to be a little girl with empty ambitions and ambitions, but her mentality was not mature enough.

In a sense, Yan Tang shaped her.

"There is no more milk, so you can just order and drink chrysanthemum tea." Yan Tang took a disposable cup and poured a cup of chrysanthemum tea for Chen Shan.

He also remembered the time when he and Chen Shan had a conversation with each other over a cup of hot milk in the early days of their business.

The two of them looked at each other and laughed in unison.

At that time, Chen Shan was very immature, and Yan Tang was also very immature.

Chen Shan took the tea and sat down across the desk.

"Shanshan, did something happen to you at home recently?" Yan Tang looked at Chen Shan and asked.

He also knew something about Chen Shan's family situation.

Chen Shan shook her head, "You already knew that I had drawn a clear line from them."

She took a sip of chrysanthemum tea.

Yantang's chrysanthemum tea is brewed and chilled, so it's refreshing to drink.

"What's going on? You look worried." Yan Tang asked.

"...It's nothing." Chen Shan looked at Yan Tang in front of her.

She and Yan Tang can also be said to be old friends.

In fact, during her years of growing up, her mother was one, her friend was one, and Yan Tang was one of the ones who carved her into the current "Chen Shan".

Yan Tang looked at Chen Shan with calm eyes, and he waited for Chen Shan to continue.

He didn't show any expression, and looked a little inhuman and indifferent on his face.

Others said that Yan Tang was fierce and evil, and Chen Shan often heard the little girl in the company say, "Boss Yan looks like a very rebellious person!" '

'how?Don't you like it? '

'Oh, handsome is handsome, I like this too.But, I don't think an ordinary woman can control Mr. Yan! '

But in fact, Chen Shan always knew that Yan Tang was not what they thought.

Yan Tang, his heart is soft and clean.

I just don't know who can walk into his softness and cleanliness.

"...how can I tell you, I don't know why these two days, but I keep thinking of my mother..." Chen Shan took another sip of chrysanthemum tea.

She said slowly, "You know, the shitty things my mother did when she was alive—she went to be someone else's mistress..."

"When I was in elementary school, I was still in the countryside. Almost everyone around me knew about it. The teacher called my mother a whore in a strange way, and my classmates asked me with a smile, 'Where is your mother? Where is it?' At that time, I just thought that a person like her is disgusting, she must not love me, and would do such dirty things."

"Later, she said that in this world, she loves me the most. I am the child she gave birth to with the man she loves. Over the years, she has given her the best education and the best resources. , she saved all her money and left it to me."

Chen Shan said, "I haven't thought of her for a long, long time."

"I originally thought that she has completely disappeared from my life, I don't care about her anymore, and I won't feel uncomfortable when thinking of her anymore," she said, and gently twisted the gold necklace around her neck , "However, these days I think of her again."

The gold chain has always been well maintained by Chen Shan.

After so many years, it is still golden, like a small river that is still sparkling in the years.

"I think of my mother, and my love and hatred for her have been awakened again, which makes me feel very tormented," Chen Shan smiled wryly at Yan Tang.

"She was like a shadow, in my shadow, following me all the way. Just when I thought I had stepped out, she would knock on my door again and ask me, 'Hey, do you remember me? '"

Chen Shan paused.

She was suddenly a little speechless, she felt that her nose and eyes were so sore that she couldn't breathe or open her eyes.

Yan Tang handed her a napkin.

Chen Shan took it and said in a low voice, "I'm just kidding, Mr. Yan."

"It's nothing to laugh at, Chen Shan." Yan Tang said lightly.

Chen Shan fanned her blushing face, trying to abate the heat from the tears rolling down her face.

"I still... can't forget my mother's appearance when she died," Chen Shan said, her eyes were red, and there was a shocking bloodshot in them.

"She was alone, sleeping in such a narrow closet... She cut her wrists, and her blood flowed so much... It overflowed the closet, and ran on the bottom of the room... It was all red, all red."

"I called her, but she ignored me."

She said, "I ran to her desk to find a mobile phone to call 120, but saw the letter she left for me on the desk—"

"She said, 'Shanshan, mom is tired, mom is leaving. You have to live well, mom will always love you.'"

After Chen Shan finished saying this, her tears no longer fell like they were just now.

Tears burst from her eyes in an instant.

It's a good thing she didn't wear eyeliner and eyeshadow today, otherwise she would have left black tears.

After so many years, Chen Shan recalled that the red wardrobe, red floor tiles, and red mother were still so vivid in her memory, as if it happened in the last second.

Great grief, mixed with other incomprehensible emotions, will still rush towards her.

It was so heavy that she couldn't breathe.

Yan Tang looked at Chen Shan in front of him, he was not in a hurry to speak, nor was he in a hurry to comfort her.

He sat on his armchair, quietly waiting for Chen Shan to calm down by herself.

This is Chen Shan's past, and Yan Tang can't help her.

The past is a quagmire. Unless it is yourself, no amount of help from others will be nothing but delusions.

Chen Shan is no longer the little girl who only hugged her mother and cried.

She took a few deep breaths, restrained her emotions, and suppressed her tears for the time being.

"Shanshan," Yan Tang handed over the paper, "As an outsider, I have no right to make irresponsible remarks to others."

He picked up the chrysanthemum tea and took a shallow sip.

"All along, I also know that you feel sorry for your mother's death in your heart." He said, "You always feel that you are also responsible. If you were not so indifferent and mean to your mother before, maybe you mother would not commit suicide."

Chen Shan stared at Yan Tang and said nothing.

"However, all of this is just a hypothesis." Yan Tang said, "As your friend and as a bystander, what I want to tell you is that maybe your mother's death is also a kind of relief for her. .”

"This sentence is a little inappropriate for me." He looked at Chen Shan with a serious expression, "But, I still think that women are the animals that can be called by love most in this world. For your mother, maybe At the last moment, she was happy."

"Shanshan, we have to accept a reality. Sometimes, we can't hold back a person who wants to die. —Of course, if we find out in advance, we should persuade. But at the same time, we can All I can do is adjust myself, accept this, and say to them, 'You guys go first'."

Yan Tang said.

He put down the teacup in his hand.

In the glass teacup, how many golden chrysanthemums are dancing in the water with their teeth and claws open.

As for the cup noodles of the glass teacup, Yan Tang's extremely pale face was reflected on the one hand, and Chen Shan's slightly silent eyebrows and eyes were reflected on the other after crying.

"I know, Mr. Yan." After a while, Chen Shan adjusted.

Her voice was hoarse.

She also understands these principles.

But it takes time for her to really come out.

How long is this time?

Chen Shan is not sure.

It could be a decade, it could be a decade and a decade, it could be her whole life.

"Go back and rest today, Shanshan." Yan Tang said.

He waved at Chen Shan who was about to refute, "Paid rest. I know you've been busy recently and you're under a lot of pressure. I'll help you with your work today. Don't tire yourself out. Go back and sleep well. Sleep."

"After waking up, you will become stronger." Yan Tang said.

Chen Shan laughed through tears.

"That's all right, I accept your good words." She said, rubbing her head, "It's true that you and I haven't had a good rest these two days, that's why you're thinking so wildly."

Yan Tang hummed.

He watched Chen Shan pack up her emotions and walk out of the office.

Yan Tang looked at the documents piled on the table and wiped his face.

As the boss, Yan Tang would not allow an employee who is obviously physically and mentally unwell to work with illness, which would affect efficiency and be inhumane.

As a friend, Chen Shan's condition is so bad, Yan Tang is not blind, he also hopes that Chen Shan can completely get out of eye shadow as soon as possible.

Yan Tang took a breath, picked up the pen, picked up the document and began to correct it.

He's going back early to spend his birthday with Ai Bao, so it seems he has to work harder.