I am determined to become a beautiful wife for the sake of food

"Feng Xiaoxiao and Yi Shuihan, once the strong man is gone, he won't return!"

After seeing those news, this poem suddenly popped up in my mind. It is clear that I just passed the level of Chinese in the college entrance examination, but I didn’t expect that I would be able to perform unexpectedly at the critical moment——If I can do this during the exam, it should be how nice.

I feel like there are a thousand of them now, no, no, no, 1 people are beating drums in my heart with fist-sized drum hammers, making my whole chest hurt.

Yesterday...what the hell happened? !

I covered my eyes, as if a teenager with the second-grade illness fell ill on the spot. After much deliberation, there were only four characters left in my mind:

I am amnesia?

Why, why can't I remember anything?

I frowned, closed my eyes and began to recall carefully.First of all, I went to his hair shop with Song Ziping to eat barbecue yesterday.Song Ziping was chatting and playing with his friends outside, while I was alone in the store live broadcasting bitterly. Later, I seemed to drink two bottles of beer and a glass of cocktail that was said to have a high alcohol content.

And then later... I woke up and found myself in bed with so many disconnected hours in between that I couldn't remember anything.

I want to read the scene where I got drunk, but the data on the memory card in my brain seems to have been cleared by the system.

This file... I can't read it!I opened my eyes, biting my lips, as if a strong man cut off his wrist—first clicked on my master’s WeChat chat history:

【Yesterday 19:37】

Master: Nanjiang, Jiang Nan? ? ? ?Apprentice, are you live broadcasting at Station D?

Master: Someone sent me a link to the live broadcast room, click on it and it looks like you!

Master: Is it really you? ? ?

Master: [Screenshot of the live broadcast.jpg - Someone is drunk and squatting on the ground crying]

Master: [Screenshot of the live broadcast.jpg——someone is hugging Song Ziping and acting like a spoiled child]

Master: word mother, little genius, this video has already been sent to the general staff group in our district, you are popular again, little brother dei!

Master: I'm so bored, I watched it again

Master: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha the whole Xingke will collapse from laughing at me!

【Today at 10:25】

Master: I'm stupid, Jiang Nan, you're too funny when you're drunk!I've been laughing all day and I'm still thinking hahahahahaha, I still want to laugh when I see it now!

It's over, after reading those news, my hands are already shaking like a Parkinson's patient, and my head is also divided into two. The left side is water and the right side is flour. After shaking it a few times, it becomes a paste.

So, what did I do yesterday?

Did I get drunk and go crazy live?I held my face in both hands, feeling like my facial features were about to split.

I just clicked on WeChat and wanted to ask my master where he saw the video, and which cub sent him the link to the live broadcast, but a hot topic on Weibo popped up on the top of the screen #男孩醉酒后What is it? Look#, I clicked in with a swipe.

The phone screen directly jumped to the Weibo interface, and I saw the first Weibo in this topic with the tag #男孩冲冻后前很前#tag:

[Knocking Sugar Girl V: #男孩酒冻后前是着前# Grass, I laughed so hard, I announce that this video is the funniest and funniest drunk video I’ve seen this year! !This is a must-watch video for everyone! ! !It turns out that handsome drunks are just as stupid as us ordinary people! 】

I haven't read this paragraph fluently, but the video attached to this Weibo has started to play automatically:

"My friends! The weather is so nice today!"

"Look, why is this tree still shadowing//body?"

"Don't laugh! You didn't treat me well today."

This... This, this handsome guy in the video who is drinking madly and flushing, is it me?I opened my mouth wide, as if my shame had been cut open and dissected as a specimen.My God, my God, my ancestors, my queen mother, my queen, the old king, the Tathagata, the Buddha... save the child!

mom!Your son became drunk and went on the hot search, and was surrounded by netizens all over the Internet! !

I wanted to stop this self-masochistic behavior that I watched myself go crazy with alcohol, but when I was about to quit, I found that the progress bar was less than a fifth of the entire video?

Um?How long have I been drunk last night?

I crossed my arms and put my phone on the bed while I knelt beside the bed.At this moment, I seem to be enduring [-] kinds of torture, although there is only one man talking nonsense on the screen of the mobile phone.But to me, it was clearly cutting my flesh and drinking my blood with a blunt knife.

After a few knives, I was gone.

When I saw on the screen that I had lost my sanity, I sang to the endless river, "The wind is roaring, the horse is roaring, the Yellow River is roaring, the Yellow River is roaring-" At this moment, in my barren and scarce brain, there is only a thought:

"Ah, I really want to disappear from this world."

Just at this time, another protagonist also came in. Song Ziping walked into the bedroom with a bowl of porridge. Seeing my strange posture kneeling in front of the bed, he was surprised and said:

"Are you awake, Nannan? Is there any discomfort in your body? Why... are you sitting here?"

I was very sad and covered my handsome face with both hands, even I was ashamed to see him, so I said to him:

"Song Ziping, did I feel ashamed yesterday?"

He put the porridge on the bedside table, came over and sat beside me, and said to me very tactfully:

"Well...it's not particularly embarrassing."

I said sullenly: "That would be a shame. Sister Li sent me a lot of messages, and I didn't even have the courage to take a look..."

Song Ziping said: "Sister Li has called me just now. Although there is some deviation from the plan for the first live broadcast of the two of us, but the matter has come to this point, and there is no way to do it again. Sister Li said that the two of us were originally scheduled. The first live broadcast of this is directly postponed to next Saturday."

I looked up at him and asked, "Why did you delay?"

Song Ziping sighed, imitating Sister Li's tone and said: "I dare you two to start a live broadcast in this state? And last night's live broadcast was recorded and taken by an enthusiastic netizen, and it is now on the hot search. Today you two Wouldn’t it be the same as using hot search marketing to announce the news immediately on the live broadcast? Take it easy for a while, and wait until the wind passes, and then the two of you will live broadcast together.”

Song Ziping paused at this point, "Sister Li said so."

I sniffed my nose, stood up and found a piece of paper to wipe my nose, and I said, "Sister Li really said that? She just sent me a WeChat message asking whether the two of us would itch if we didn't get scolded for a day. "

Song Ziping scratched the back of his head and said, "Maybe Li Jie is used to it."

I looked at him, he looked at me, and we were speechless.

After a while, I felt that the atmosphere was not quite right, and then I turned my head and questioned him: "Why didn't you stop me when I was doing that last night?"

Song Ziping said nonchalantly: "I stopped it, but your willpower is too firm..."

What is my willpower, a drunken willpower?

I'm speechless, but I asked again:

"Did you watch the video on the hot search? Did you show your face in the live broadcast last night?"

"I swiped that video when I turned on my phone this morning. If it was broadcast live yesterday... it was the last bit of my face."

"That?" I was a little puzzled.

Song Ziping rubbed his nose and said, "In the end you hugged the railing and cried there. I was afraid that you would lose your balance and fall, so I put the camera on the ground, and there was a few minutes of missing face."

I hugged the railing and cried?After hearing such a frantic description, I couldn't help but shudder, and I said in a trembling voice:

"Did I cry yesterday?"

Song Ziping said in a very sure and determined tone: "Well, you cried very loudly in the last few minutes."

I buried my whole head in the fluffy quilt, covered my ears with my hands, and really didn't want to hear any more details about my drunkenness yesterday.I really want to cover myself to death with a quilt so that I don't have to be executed by Song Ziping in public here.

My heart was shouting: "It's over, my image, my famous name... It's gone, it's gone, it's all gone!"

Song Ziping finally didn't continue to stab me in the chest at this time, he seemed to have finally realized how painful it was to stab my heart with his words.

He comforted me and said: "It's okay, Nan Nan, you are also very handsome in the video, and you are also very cute."

I stretched out my palm and made a "stop" gesture with him, and said, "Stop talking, how can a drunken man be so cute?"

Song Ziping replied to me solemnly: "Really, I didn't lie to you. Look at the comments on Weibo, they all praised you for being cute."

When I heard this, I poked my ears out of the quilt for a little bit, ready to hear what kind of bullshit these comments that even a drunk lunatic could praise are cute.

Song Ziping grabbed the phone, flipped through it for a while, and then said to me:

"This netizen named Her Royal Highness Princess, the cutest in the world, said: The handsome guy muttering in the video is really cute! I am willing to give him my ID!"

"This netizen named Little Tomato is so delicious left a message saying: Why are handsome guys so cute when they get drunk? Speechless, I can do it again."

"This netizen named Meng Mengnai left a message saying: Is there no live broadcast content in the future? Am I short of drinking for a few minutes?"

"A netizen whose id is to be a chicken must have his duty: Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Handsome guy, I can, I..."

"Stop, stop, stop, I'll go and see for myself!" I heard Song Ziping's series of words without emotion, so I hurriedly stopped him from reading any further. up.

Song Ziping saw that I was not so self-contained, he was relieved, and he smiled: "Then you have a look, there is porridge for you on the bedside table, it should be cold now, remember to drink it later .I'll go out to buy vegetables and make delicious food for you."

I patted my face and said: "Okay, you go." After I finished speaking, I complained again: "I don't think I will want to eat barbecue again this year."

Song Ziping was amused by my resentful tone as if possessed by Sadako. He rubbed my dick head and turned to go out. When he left, he also closed the bedroom door for me, leaving me a small private space .

After hearing that he opened the door to go out, I opened Weibo again, clicked on the trending search hovering around 30, and after I was mentally prepared, I clicked on the comment area:

[Who can't: Damn, handsome guy and handsome guy, I'm going to smash it!Sure enough, a handsome guy and a handsome guy are really pleasing to the eye, and I'm fine too! 】

[Hello, Bread, who can reply: I'm bokied too!The soft and glutinous nasal sound is really nice 55555]

[I'll count it on you: what is this... The crying boy is disgusting. 】

[Your mom is on sky and replied, I say you are cruel: what is this... People who say disgusting for no reason are also disgusting. 】

[Hana Tian Yuexia: I'm sorry, I've already imagined 800 small trains speeding past, dirty——————]

[Fuguihua replied to Huatian Yuexia: Pass the pen! ! !Please start the show! 】

[A love letter:! ! !Can any beautiful sister tell me which anchor this is?It's too cute!Don't forget to do business when drunk, still lack of career fans?I want to buy shares! ! ! 】

[Sanqianjiu replied with a love letter: Guidance Station D's living area anchor Nanjiang, now a shareholder, you are an old fan! 】

[Monster 520: My aunt laughed at this video a thousand times a thousand times, the setting of the room management × anchor, hehehehehehehehehe]

[Qingqing Grassland replies to monster 520: Call the room manager during the day, and brother at night, hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe]

……

I read almost all of the thousands of comments on this Weibo, which made me blush and thirsty.

What's going on with the girls these days, why are they all like private detectives, how come their eyes are so good, they can see at a glance the CP relationship that Song Ziping and I hid under the relationship between the house management and the anchor !

However, there are a lot of comments that are more than that, which still makes me shudder, so I have to sigh:

It turns out that when girls engage in pornography, the same is true...

[Question, when you see some pornographic fan works created by fans for you, what kind of mentality should you use to treat them? 】

[Close your eyes, nothing happens.Don't take those things seriously, the important thing is to live your life well. 】