fuck with me

Chapter 1

The mountain rain is about to come, the wind is strong, and the bone-piercing attack, a man trembling and rubbing his shoulders and arms, runs quickly among the shadows of the night and leaves, while avoiding the gang of servants who are shouting and chasing after him, cursing in his heart: In the cold winter and the twelfth lunar month, isn't it just stealing a spiritual position, so it is necessary to mobilize teachers like this.

In fact, this forest also belongs to the Yan family, but it was left unused. The man quickly found a place with a higher slope, rolled up the tree with more strength, and poohed down. He didn't even want to part with the lamp. Order a few lamps, so much money is spent on spiritual seats, gold carvings and jade carvings, who are they showing off to, the young master just took your most valuable one today, so what can I do, it is better to exchange it for God Two bowls of hot wine.

"Master, that thief ran into the Ancestor Mountain, and the little ones dare not go in."

The master of the Yan family clicked his tongue and stomped his feet with great strength: "If you are not afraid of thieves stealing, you are afraid of thieves thinking about it. Why do you think he can steal from our family!" The ancestor's spiritual seat has been lost, what should we do!Mr. Yan was already old, his body was weak, and it was freezing cold. He saw a leg stepping into the gate of Hades, and was shocked by this little thief. When I got it back, I didn't dare to die casually, I bowed to the sky, my ancestors don't blame my ancestors.

"Send more people tomorrow morning and guard the forest at night. Don't let him escape!"

The little thief didn't hear any movement on the tree, and was frozen tightly. He breathed hot air into his hand, hugged the spirit tablet in his hand and plunged down, but fell directly into a pit, dusty, coughing, coughing.

"Who dug this hole!" The little thief cursed, his heart was in a bad mood, and he was about to get up, but he saw a golden light flashing in front of his eyes, dazzling but soft, and a figure walked out of the light, which made people feel that it was impossible for an immortal to descend to the earth. But that's all.

The man in the spiritual light waved his hand, as if he waved back something. The moment he stepped on the ground, all the light faded away, the brocade clothes covered his body, his black hair was like a waterfall, and his eyes were not like ordinary people, but like twinkling stars, but Maybe it's my eyes dazzled.

The little thief was startled, panicked, lost his wits, and closed his mind. He slapped himself hard, holding the spiritual tablet tightly with one hand, and continued to stare blankly.The man bent down and looked at him for a while, still not paying attention?Then he slapped him on the head and woke him up.

"Wow, you, you, you, you are a human or a ghost!" Oh, hey, he can be said to be able to speak.

"Of course it's a ghost."

The little thief was frightened and frozen, his teeth were chattering, he felt that the spiritual tablet in his hand was hot, and was about to throw it away, but he flew out of the air.

"Don't blame me, I haven't used these ghost skills for a long time, and I can't hold back my strength for a while." The slender man turned his palms, and he just wanted to drag him out of his earthen mound, but he threw him Eight feet away, "Are you... all right?"

"Master Ghost, do you want to take back the spirit seat? I'll send him back to Old Man Yan tomorrow, okay?" what to do.

"Don't return it. Come with me. I'll treat you to a drink. The ghost platform is so bright that it looks like a Buddha's light. You can scare ghosts away. How can you expect your ancestors to go back and bless you? That gold can't be used to make clothes. The bag is so tight, like a mountain, I find it too heavy to walk underground.”

The thief has been stealing for half his life, and he grew up eating a lot of food, but he just dare not go with him. Your wine is no better than others, maybe it is called Meng Po Tang by another name, and he shirks with a wry smile: "Daxian, I still have something to do." , why don't we meet again by fate."

"Are you afraid of me?" Ghost Daxian asked.

The little thief nodded again and again: "Actually, your junior is very kind to me. I have stolen many things, and I have never seen him report to the government. If you do good deeds and accumulate virtue, you will definitely become a fairy tomorrow, so don't stay here any longer. "

After the man smelled it, he swept it away casually, and the cold weather stripped off his clothes, shaking them off, the little thief screamed and didn't feel the cold, but panicked with embarrassment: "What are you doing!"

"...You are almost emptying my family." Why did you not even let go of the incense candles he ate and the false teeth of his great-grandson, "I wanted to thank you for saving me from that embarrassing situation Stolen from the mourning hall, now it seems that you are really..."

The little thief was a little scared: "What do you want?"

The ghost ancestor sighed: "Come with me, I can't stay longer, and you and I will talk about this debt in the future." There is no friend in the underground alone, and they are all his children and grandchildren, everyone is respectful, It's really called lifeless, even death is boring.

But the little thief couldn't understand his kind invitation, he only said that he wanted to take his life and wanted to escape, but when he stood up, he blushed, clamped his legs and covered his crotch: "Give me back my clothes!"

In winter, even if it wasn't cold, going out for a bird walk in such a shirtless and bare ass would scare passers-by crazy. He's just a thief, so he still has some shame.

The old ancestor should be old-fashioned and pedantic, but he has been a ghost for a long time. He has seen all kinds of ghosts. After a cup of tea, I can't walk anymore.

Why does it seem like there is a wall ahead?

Tears streamed down, and he cried, "Great Immortal, please let me go, I have eighty children and seventy old mothers."

"Oh? What a coincidence, my mother also passed away at 80, and my son has been a ghost for [-] years." The man seemed determined not to let him go, but this time he came out, in fact, it was another ghost order issued by the underworld. Every ghost friend needs to introduce a living person who is guilty into the underworld. Those who have not fulfilled the task will not be able to go to the lecture hall of the underworld next year when their descendants come down, and they will be bullied when they come out. Ann, you can't be bullied and scolded in the ground with an old bone, saying that you haven't read a book.

Just as he was about to lobby, the wind became stronger and stronger, blowing so hard that the old tree almost bent over, the sky was thundering and lightning, there was an ominous sign, and seeing that he didn't have much time left, the man withdrew the spell and just begged After balancing for a while, the little thief suddenly shivered from the bottom to the top: "I, I, I, I'm going out, take care, old man!"

"Where can you go when you go out? My descendants will send someone to arrest you tomorrow. It's freezing cold and you have nothing to lose. Instead of continuing to do things like stealing chickens and stealing dogs, lamenting the cruelty of the world and suffering all the torture in the world, why don't you follow me?" Go down?" The man looked natural, as if he really came to invite someone to be a guest.

"Then you can't just die!" What kind of thinking!

"I'll return this spirit tablet to you. Why bother to kill me? Sister Tinghua from Yuanyang Tower is still waiting for me to warm the bed." The thief murmured, throwing the spirit tablet into the pit, ready to Lift your legs.

A thunderbolt struck from the sky, barely hitting the century-old wood next to him, turning into charcoal, and the gray smoke curled up, which was immediately blown away by the wind.

"Don't be angry, Great Immortal! I'll go with you now!" The little thief burst into tears, hugged the tablet back carefully, and gently stroked the gold inlaid lower script on it. It was the first time in his life that he met a ghost, and he was forced to go To die, there is no shame in saying it.

The man laughed in his heart: "I didn't strike the thunder, but since you are so enthusiastic, let's start now."

Thief: "..."

After so many years of stealing, I finally got my retribution.

The author has something to say: Happy little ancient style!First post, if you like it, you can ask for a comment mo~~