gentle and affectionate

Chapter 53.

That night, I stood alone on the lake for a long, long time, even though the cold spring invaded my blood and bone marrow, and the damp and cold wiped out the flames of hope, I still stood there, watching the crescent moon climb up from the willow branches, slowly rise into the air, illuminate There are patches of cherry blossom trees.

Under the tree, thousands of flowers are scattered into mud; under the moonlight, a lonely boy casts a shadow on the roof.The wind blows the tree, shakes down thousands of flowers, dances wildly, and rolls feebly, magnifying the sadness to the extreme.

At this time, it was nearly midnight.

I almost trotted all the way back to my residence, and opened the door, but the building was empty.The warm yellow candlelight disappeared, only the cold wind poured in through the crack of the door, completely washing away the last trace of warmth in the room.

In the darkness, I could only hear my own panting, and the chills crawling all over my body, and my heart beating more and more heavily.

Where did you go?

I slid slowly to the floor, the compartment behind me supporting my weight and creaking.I hugged my knees and buried my head in my chest.

Is he angry?

Because I lost all my magic, I even lost the strength to stand up. I survived after being fed blood in a coma, but instead, I was willful with the person who gave blood to save me. I, who is still trampling on his kindness, still It sucks.

Always implicating them, always bringing trouble to them, making a big mistake because of my own wishes, but delusional attempts to help bring even greater disasters... Such an ominous and despicable me, now I have made up my mind to live a good life Now that I am going down, how should I deal with myself.

Whether it's Sakura or him, I owe the most to the two people, but I want me to live the most.

"Mr. Fay, please promise me that from now on, you will put yourself first."

"If you want to die so much, let me kill it... Until then, live well for me!"

……

However, I am like this, even if he is so gentle, I am afraid that one day, I will get tired of it.

Rather than that, why not...

"……Hey."

A familiar voice came from the top of his head, low, but it struck a chord in his heart.I looked up and saw that the moonlight behind him outlined his silhouette in perfect silver, making his body as solid as a mountain.

Looking at him, even that almost desperate heart came alive again at that moment.

"When did you come back?"

"……Um."

"Hmm, what, hurry up and help me get something."

Looking at his busy figure, I felt very at ease in my heart, and my frozen limbs seemed to start to warm up.

"……don't want."

"Hey, do you want to ask for a fight?"

"...People can't stand up."

Hei Gang, who was stabilizing the last wine jar, almost staggered, and his helpless sigh made me regret that I couldn't see his expression at this moment.

He walked towards me, his wrists were wrapped in warm hands, and he pulled me up from the ground; I fell into his embrace, feeling the warmth spread through my limbs, and the corners of my mouth also raised inadvertently, more like an octopus Wrap around him and don't move.

Knowing my temper well, he tolerated my waywardness for a while, and finally he had to start complaining.

"Did you take the wrong medicine? Come down quickly."

"I don't want to come down, Master Hei is so warm."

"It's been said that it's cold at night, and you still stand for so long."

"Did you forget..."

"I don't have a long memory..." He sighed again, "Would you like some wine?"

"well!"

The star-like behavior of me quickly returning to the ground made Hei Gang want to sigh for the third time, but he held back, he looked at me twice,

Then he turned around and picked up the small tea table beside the bed, and walked out without hesitation.Several large and small wine jars were stacked together on the outdoor platform, and the food boxes containing side dishes were shining brightly under the moonlight.

"Put on a coat and come out." He ordered outside the door.

I took two pieces by hand, happily ran out of the balcony door, ran to the other side of the small table and sat down.

"Hahaha……"

"Hey—you bastard," he said with a dark face, tearing off the coat I threw on his head, "are you asking for a beating?"

"Hey, he was kind enough to help Hei Ling get clothes, but Hei Wang still wants to beat her."

"Did you take it like that?"

"I need a pastry in the other hand."

"Won't you put down the pastry first?"

"No, the pastry is better than black poof."

"..."

"Master Hei can't say it, fine wine."

"childish."

He had an expression of "I'm too lazy to argue with you", but he really raised his head and took a sip of wine, and stretched out the empty glass in front of me. I think I have to give this face, otherwise it's too bad Got it.

"Master Hei really knows how to enjoy it," I poured wine for him, "delicious food and wine, and someone will help pour the wine."

"Well, besides, people are not bad."

"Is it not bad?"

"Well, good wine goes with a beautiful woman?" He laughed out loud, "I don't mind."

Who are you calling beautiful? You...

I slammed it in the eye and reached out to snatch the wine glass in his hand. I forgot for a moment that this guy was a ninja. Mr. Ninja easily avoided my attack, and turned his head to drink the wine in one gulp.

I put the wine jar heavily on the ground in a fit of anger, and turned my head to stop looking at him.He is also sensible, he doesn't bother me to accompany the food, and obediently helps me fill up the wine.

It's a pity that I can't count on the beauty, so I can only make do with this piece of black charcoal.

I picked up the wine glass and gave him a sideways glance. The latter didn't change his face, and he didn't look like he was just pouring the wine just now.

"Heitan can also be very good."

"Good to say."

"Master Hei didn't say that I called you by your name indiscriminately."

"Is it useful to say it?" He curled his lips, "On the contrary, it will make you shout more happily."

"Because the angry Mr. Hei is very cute."

"Tsk,"

He glared at me and repeated his initial assessment,

"childish."

I stuck out my tongue, roguely passed the empty wine glass to the opposite side, deliberately turned my head as if admiring the flowers, which drew a chuckle from the person beside me, and then poured the wine for me again.I felt a little embarrassed no matter what, so I secretly turned my head away and stopped looking at him.

I often bring wine under the flowers, and the bright moon is easy to climb upstairs.The courtyard of Heigang is very large, and the cherry trees are shining brightly under the moonlight. The wind blows the flowers and leaves, and the fallen flowers are colorful. It reminds me of the begonias in the Night Demon Kingdom. I think of the past, and we often drink together under the moon like this. , enjoy the flowers with wine, but the aroma of cherry blossoms is much weaker than that of crabapple, and it is much quieter and more beautiful.

Heart, but also a lot heavier.

The crescent moon is like a hook, and the fragrance of wine is refreshing, as if the years are quiet.

"Master Black..."

"Ok?"

"I really want to go back to Night Demon Kingdom."

I really want to go back to the time when I was separated from them, but no matter how worried I was, I still looked forward to meeting them again.

"I want to go with Sakura and coyotes."

"Really," he glanced at me, "I think you want to play."

"……Eh?"

I was a little stunned, looked over and saw his nostalgic smile, but his mouth was merciless:

"Thinking about those six months, I was crazy. I was dragged by you to travel around the mountains and rivers, and I had to follow."

"Obviously Black Wheel had a lot of fun too."

"I was forced, okay? If you don't follow you, you will be thrown out."

"Who would throw it outside? When I went out, I also looked for the way together!"

"People who can't speak are not qualified to quibble."

"People have studied hard."

"You're not good at school, don't think I didn't see you secretly drawing and pretending to practice calligraphy."

"..."

"However," he took a sip of his wine, his tone suddenly filled with regret, "if you go again, with white steamed buns, you will be able to understand what they say."

The topic turned back a bit quickly, and the content was surprising.

"Master Hei really wants to go?"

"It's not that you want to go?"

"I……"

"Anyway, I've been there once, so it's okay to go again." He took a bite of the side dish with his chopsticks and put it in his mouth, as if he was satisfied with its taste, "But we'll wait until these things are over."

"Master Black..."

Before I could say anything, he guessed my thoughts so closely that I didn't know what to say.

He put down his chopsticks and looked at me.

"You ran out just now, what were you thinking about?"

He was referring to when I woke up.I was at a loss for words, and when I woke up from the nightmare, I saw Heigang's injured wrist for taking blood again... In my heart, I left him and ran out to cover up my fear and embarrassment. He sees it through.

Looking at his better complexion than before, I feel a little relieved, although I don't know whether the rosy color is because he really recovered, or just because of drinking.

"Master Hei... when I was unconscious..."

I couldn't ask some questions, so I had to falter.

"Is it about feeding you blood?" He glanced at the gauze-wrapped wrist, "Is it because of this?"

"..."

He looked at me suspiciously, his brow furrowed instantly as if he suddenly remembered something.

"You bastard... are you going to say something like 'don't save you' again?"

"Nah……"

I ran out just because I knew I couldn't say that.But he frowned and stared at me, his phoenix eyes were half-closed, and he felt very dangerous no matter how he looked at it.

"Actually... I had a dream."

"Dream?" He paused for a moment, then realized immediately, his expression darkened in an instant, "Yes..."

"Yeah, I dreamed about Sakura,"

Looking at the fallen cherry blossoms all over the ground, I felt a pain in my heart.

"I dreamed that I killed Sakura."

The cherry blossoms in the courtyard were just in full bloom. I told Heigang that when I was in the country of Sakura, I opened a coffee shop with Sakura. She had never even entered the kitchen, but she worked hard and made it in just a few days. The finished bread is just to help us share a little bit of hard work, obviously her soul was not complete at that time.

Hei Gang said that he had eaten that bread, and his skills were no worse than those of other children who had been cooking since childhood.

The flowers were blown down by the wind, spinning and dancing in the air. I told Hei Gang that Pifulu's plane was not easy to fly at all. Sakura could rely on us, but she had to practice all day and night. In the end, even we had all kinds of problems. When there is a problem, one person rushes to the finish line firmly.

Hei Gang said that the little girl stayed by the water when he fell into the water, and she didn't even move a meter until he urged her to set off quickly, as if the victory of the game had nothing to do with her.

The falling cherry blossoms were blown up by the wind, and finally fell into mud.

She once told me in Infinity City that when you don’t want to laugh, you don’t have to laugh, and she also made me take myself first. After waking up from Tokyo, she already knew everything.

Heigang said that when she went to replace the price for me in Tokyo, her back was as firm as if she was fighting to the death, and she did not hesitate.

……

"So I told her that I must come back alive, but..."

The wine jars were unknowingly empty, and even Hei Gang was a little bit drunk, and the image of a ninja who was usually immovable has long since collapsed.Under the moonlight, I looked at the unconcealable sadness on his face, and felt that a hero like Heigan was actually just an ordinary man.

This kind of drinking before flowers is nothing more than a false carnival created by two people who are each sad.

As the night deepened and the moonlight gradually blurred, I hugged the wine jar in a daze, and suddenly felt a dull pain in my chest, and my mind became more and more unconscious.

"I'm sorry, Master Hei..."

"what?"

"At that time, Master Hei was wrongly blamed..."

"when……"

"In Tokyo... when Sakura went out..." I looked at the cherry blossoms flying in the air, and suddenly felt that the dream I had during the day seemed to coincide with the present, "Sakura..."

"Master Hei...Sakura, she..."

"I'm sorry Sakura..."

"..."

"It's all my fault...I...killed Sakura..."

"What nonsense, it's not you."

"Even if it wasn't... I couldn't save her..."

"...I'm not the same about this."

"But... I also got Mr. Hei involved..."

"What are you talking about?"

"It's all my fault... It's just that I don't have any magic, but I'm going to pass out, and I even drank Master Hei's blood..."

"It's good that you can last until you go back to your room. I've been worried about how to hide it from them if you faint outside."

"Hee hee, Mr. Hei has learned badly, and Mr. Hei also... hiccup, lying."

"Who is like you, telling them can only make them worry."

"Then... am I very powerful?"

"Still proud of yourself?"

"Hmm... isn't it amazing?"

"Yes, you are the best."

"Master Hei... so perfunctory..."

"It's really hard to serve, what do you want?"

"I……"

I think……

I looked up to see the flowers, but found that the moonlight suddenly became very dazzling, and I couldn't help falling backwards.The world was spinning, as if the whole person had lost his whereabouts, only knowing that the damp and cold were attacking from all directions, and the joints of his body were sore. Desperation and death reminded me of the white snow in Farelia.

My existence will bring disasters to those around me, even if I want to protect them, I can't avoid it; in the past hundred years, I have watched my loved ones leave me one by one, and watched tragedies happen again and again, no matter how much effort I put in , will eventually usher in a miserable ending alone.

Standing alone, inseparable from each other.

Gained everything and lost everything.

However, today, I want to live——

This me who was bought by Fay with his life, I who was cared for by the king and the people, I was cared for by the people who traveled with me, I was hugged tightly by his powerful arms——

All my defenses collapsed at this moment, and I almost used all my strength to hug him back, but I still felt like I couldn't hug him tightly.

I don't want to lose him, I don't want to lose everything.

"Black Steel..."

"I don't want to die..."

I don't want to forget this journey, even if it is difficult, it is also a precious memory.

"I don't want to be separated from you..."

I don't even want to be separated from you——

I want to live.

want to live with you.

I want to be with you, drink a lot of wine, and live a long, long life.

……

"Silly... If you don't want to separate, just leave, just don't."

"How old are you, and you still cry..."

The gentle comfort on my back made me gradually calm down, and my broad chest was like the sea, containing everything about me.

I didn't feel the slightest bit of unease when my body left the ground.His arm is as strong as in memory, strong enough to smash the most solid camouflage, enough to pull me back from the face of death, and bind me and him firmly, never to be separated.

Once in the country where the cherry blossoms were in full bloom, I never thought about living, and I never felt so at ease because of someone;

Once under the crabapple tree, we drank wine together, but after all it was difficult to talk to each other, so we had to hide our thoughts carefully, because we felt touched by every bit of warmth, and were delighted;

But now, his embrace is still so warm, even though the cold prosthetic limbs make the legs uncomfortable, even though the final journey we are about to face may be good or bad, it never affects my world, and it is all because of him.

As if nothing has changed, and as if everything has changed.

At least in the past, I never liked him as much as I do now.

……

I kissed his blood-stained lips, feeling the smell of wine spreading in my mouth, and his hand around my waist felt a little tighter; the metal prosthetic felt cool to the skin, and hot The right hand forms a stark contrast, as strange and fascinating as the two heavens of ice and fire.

"Ah um..."

The union of bodies magnifies both happiness and sorrow to the extreme.The tears were carefully kissed away, and his breath was full of his smell; the sword cocoon in his palm rubbed against my palm, and his fingers squeezed into my fingers domineeringly, we looked at ourselves who were not clear in each other's eyes, and felt the most Owning each other most clearly, it seems like the end of the world is crazy.

But, I think, even if it is really the end of the world, this time, we have to compete with fate.

The future is unknown, and life and death may only be a matter of a moment. We are like people walking a tightrope between this shore and the other shore. We may lose everything, but we may also have everything.

——Luck and misfortune, gain and loss, life and death, everything is in our hands.

With the gratitude for the one we love and the wishes of countless people, we can only wait for this scene to die and survive; and ten days later, we looked at each other who had put on the original attire by coincidence, and looked at each other When I smile, it seems that I have returned to the day when I first met.

However, unlike in the past, we have nothing to fear.

After a night of rain, it finally cleared up this morning. The clear sky and the singing of flowers and birds sent us on our final journey.

Sorrow and regret always make us look back on the beautiful past, but at the same time, it is because of this deep-seated pain that we understand how difficult it is to get to where we are today.

What I have obtained along the way, the current self, is so incomparable.

【Japan·END】