gentle and affectionate

Chapter 42.

"What's your name?"

What is my name……

my name……

Fay...

Fay...

is that my name

Fay...

go to him...

Who is he?

Fay...

By the way, he is Fay...

But he's Fay, who am I?

……

I shrank in the corner and thought about this question a million times.

It is probably hard to accept that something that is too cherished is lost in an instant.If I have grown into an adult like me now, no matter how much my heart is bleeding, I may be able to press hard to stop the bleeding.But I was still too young at that time, even if I wasted decades of time, my body and mind were only ten years old.

After escaping from the last day of Farelia, I seem to have forgotten my name and have to search hard in my memory.But no matter how I searched, the only name left in my mind was Fay; in the days when I was so painful that I lost my voice, the only one I could say was Fay.

Fay.

So people around me also called me Fay.

——But if I were Fay, who was that person in the pool who was born exactly like me?

I huddled together in the corner, staring at the pool not far away in a daze, except for the necessary survival behaviors every day, I just lived in such a groggy way every day.

If he is Fay, who am I?

And who killed him?

Can't remember, dare not remember, every time I think of something, my head hurts like a split.I often roll on the ground in pain, and what always comes to my mind is the scene of a skinny child desperately grabbing the wall in a dark prison cell.

He says,

"I want to die."

I kept saying it until I couldn't tell whether it was he who said those words or myself. I couldn't tell whose memory belonged to me, but I knew who the damned person was.

Turns out, I was the one to be damned.

I vomited as much as I ate, and after seeing countless doctors, there was nothing I could do. Then I started a hunger strike.Because I didn't eat a mouthful, if I vomited again, it would be just a few mouthfuls of sour water.There was nothing left to lose weight in my body, only my spirit became more and more trance, every day when I was awake, I would stick to the pool and look at the person who was exactly like me, and when I fell asleep, the nightmare would come up like crazy.Doing the same thing over and over again, being dragged out of this dazed situation countless times, staring blankly at the worried faces, feeling guilty and not knowing where he is.

"Forget, forget."

Maybe he also rushed into the snowstorm at night to look for him, no matter how hard he looked, he couldn't find him, and then he remembered——

It turns out that there is no Fay in this world anymore.

It turned out Fay was really dead.

Wandering helplessly on the cold street corners, homeless people leaning against the icy walls, I watched the homeless people who had settled down, and watched them take a sip of spirits with their heads up.

So, I also learned to drink.

The biggest advantage of drinking is that when the liquid flows into your mouth with a hot and mellow aroma, everything seems to be unreal. Unfortunately, the waiters always try their best to stop me because they think I am too young.This made me, whose actual age has already surpassed them, very irritable, so one day I had a whim, thinking that I should use magic to create an illusion, but when the blue flashed in front of my eyes, I suddenly caught a glimpse of the thick blue sky outside the window. white snow.

——It was you who killed the mother-in-law.

——It was your magic that exposed the location, so that the king's pursuers found you.

"what--"

I didn't care how many people would be attracted by the screaming, the halfway magic made my hands bloody, I hugged my head tightly, like a dying little beast.

After that, the dependence on alcohol was greater than before.

Children's bodies can't break down alcohol very well. Sometimes they drink until they vomit, and they drink it later.The chaotic consciousness deeply resisted the washing of time, and I returned to the time when I lived with my mother-in-law, and then returned to the hall full of people. strike again...

"It would be nice if you didn't exist"

—Fay, why do we exist?

I was haunted by such nightmares every day, until one day, I suddenly threw away the bottle and stood up, stumbled to the edge of the pool, and jumped down like a dream.

Fay, I'm here with you.

Don't be afraid, we are together.

Soaking in the icy pool with Fay, holding the icy coffin in my arms, I didn’t dare to open it, subconsciously, I seemed to know how crazy I was, and I was afraid of hurting this body that the king had finally repaired... I took off my robe, Wrap him in a transparent coffin and hug him foolishly.

Memories and reality became entangled into a dream, and I deluded myself into thinking that Fay was still alive, so I sank into the dream even more, unwilling to wake up.

But no matter how much I lied to myself, Fay was gone.

I was immersed in the icy pool with him, almost wanting to follow him to death, and my desire to revive Fay suddenly became very heavy.

I hugged him and dreamed, dreaming again that white snow was flying all over the world. At the moment when everything was about to perish, we still hugged each other tightly, clasped hands, and waited to ascend to the happy heaven together.White snow, gray sky, black stone walls... We are finally leaving, leaving this horrible place.

In such joy, I suddenly fixed my eyes on his face, looking at the face exactly like mine, seeing Bai Xue dyed bright red, it seemed like a lifetime away.

……

Fay.

"Faye."

Before my world was destroyed, a man reached out to me.

The man's appearance and demeanor are unmatched, and he is as gentle as the father in his dream... Bewitched by that warm smile, I subconsciously stretched out my hand.

So, my first story is over.

The second story was given to me by the king.

After taking Fay's life, I despicably stole his name.Thinking that all the happiness in front of me should belong to him, thinking that one day I will return this life and my name to him, so I survived with a hope that was so vague that I could not see any hope, and started a century-old journey. A long lingering life.

But now, I knelt on the ground and held Wang's hand, holding that small cold body tightly in my arms, just like back then, even my smile was as gentle as it should be.

As if it never changed.

Maybe it’s because my life is really too long, even if I dig three feet into the ground, I can’t dig out much of the memories of the past, even if I find them like this, they will be rotten and incomplete, even I think I have forgotten them all; However, if you really bear the pain and look at it for a while longer, the things you can vaguely recognize are deeply rooted in your blood, and you can remember so many things just by opening the door.

The story of me and Wang is buried deep in this indistinguishable memory.

I still remember that day——the day when I first came to Thrace, the first thing King Asura did for me was to personally repair Fay's broken body.

I have been sitting by the side watching, watching the bones bent at strange angles return to their proper positions, watching the corpse spots on his legs gradually disappear, watching his bloody face return to its original shape bit by bit, In the end, it wasn't until he returned to the same appearance as me that he finally realized that we were still so similar after so many years.

However, even if all the fatal wounds are repaired, it is impossible for the body to recover from the exhaustion caused by years of captivity.The lifeless body can no longer grow round cheeks, and can only sleep forever in the pool mixed with the long hair that reaches the ground.

So I asked the king to let me cut off my hair and put it in his crystal coffin, hoping that it would be by his side instead of me.

It was easy for Wang to agree. Looking at the little me, there might be some affection in his smile, which awakened the memories of when we were brought up by our mother-in-law many years ago.

How precious a lost family is to a lost child can only be understood by personal experience.This made me have a great sense of intimacy with the still unfamiliar Wang, and the timidity in my heart gradually calmed down under the comfort of that gentle smile.

Wang looked at me anxiously, couldn't help but deepen his smile, and handed me a piece of light blue fluorite.

The fluorite shone with soft luster in the bright hall, I was a little puzzled, I raised my head to ask the king, but I listened to him caressing my head.

"This is Florette... In Thrace, this is a stone that is regarded as a guardian. I will give it to you."

"However, not only stones, but also names."

Wang's smile faded a little, and the golden eyes seemed to be stained with a layer of sadness, but the sadness slipped away in an instant, making me almost think it was my own illusion.

"From today onwards, you are Fay D. Florette of Thrace,"

Wang smiled lightly,

"That name will protect you."

The way the eyes are closed gently, seems to be able to melt the world.

I kept holding Fay close.The body is immersed in the bone-chilling cold, and the face is covered with cold crystals. As long as I use magic to support my breathing, nothing is difficult; tears.

"Faye."

When my body was taken out of the pool, my mind was still a little unconscious, but the warmth from the big hands on my stomach that held me firmly was very clear, and the drenching wind made me feel colder, and I suddenly shivered , but the body was quickly wrapped in a thick yak.

"king……"

"Faye, I'm back." Wang held me with one hand and straightened my wet hair. "Sorry, I didn't come back as promised."

"No...no, nothing..."

It was only after I woke up that I felt the chill go through my bones, and my voice was a little unnatural.The king is so kind to me, but I am still so weak, and it is I who should blame me.I embarrassingly denied it, and I couldn't express the regret in my heart.

"I just……"

"It's okay." Wang gently handed me to the maid beside me, "Go and take a good bath first, so as not to freeze."

"king……"

Before I could ask anything, there was a cool touch between my lips, it was Wang's fingers.

"When I come back this time, I won't leave again."

There have been a lot of wars recently, so the king has been away from the palace for several months. Now that we meet again after a long absence, and get the promise from the king at this time, I feel a little excited for a while, and I don't care about the etiquette, so I quickly grabbed the king's sleeve:

"Really?"

"Well, really," he still smiled, "I will stay with you for a while."

Wang seemed to see my uneasiness, and kissed my cold forehead comfortingly, before motioning to the maids to take me to take a bath.

It was not too late when Wang fished me out that day, and the hot bath was timely, but I still fell seriously ill.The reason was that my own physical condition was really bad at that time, not to mention how I lived during the few months when the king was away, the many years of captivity in the valley had already damaged the fundamentals of my body.

I heard that I was unconscious from the burn that day, and I was talking nonsense from time to time, and it was only Fa Yi and Wang.The illness that time was fierce, and if it wasn't for the powerful magic that was born to sustain my life, it would have been almost impossible to save me... As a result, the king guarded me for two days and two nights, and was finally persuaded by the palace people until he watched me wake up I went to eat, and came back to accompany me soon.

It wasn't until more than half a month passed that I finally came back from the brink of death.

After that illness, my mental state was finally a little more stable, and my hysterical thoughts rarely reappeared. However, the memory that was chaotic before became even more chaotic after that. The memories of the two people were mixed together, and my personality , and suddenly became too quiet, as if he had stolen Fay's character and name together.

That illness was like saying goodbye to my former self.

Wang said that it doesn't matter even if you forget it, as long as you look forward, but how could I really forget it.

However, no matter in the past or now, I have to admit that Wang's words are correct, and Wang is also a very trustworthy person.After he promised that day, he almost turned off all the schedules, even the frequent visits before, and concentrated on staying with me in the palace. calm down.

Thanks to the efforts of Wang and the people around me, my condition is improving day by day, and I gradually started to resume eating, and my spirit has stabilized a lot. Even some old injuries and diseases that I suffered before are also under the influence of my increasingly powerful magic. Rarely happened.

Those days were leisurely and busy.In order to really open up my heart, Wang began to take me out from time to time. The library near the palace was one of the places we visited most often.Wang's requirements are very strict, so when I was young, I began to worry about the twists and turns of magic spells, but after memorizing them, Wang would patiently explain the mysteries to me, and occasionally teach me some tricks , and taught me how to control the power.As a result, the number of magic runaways has gradually decreased, and my attention has gradually been put on the study of magic, so I no longer sink in the memories every day, and worry about it all day long.

However, it makes me feel a little sad that no matter how hard I try, I can't learn the healing magic that I thought I would master in time when I was a child, even though my twin brother has been able to use them freely since he was a child.

"What's the matter, Fay?"

In the largest library room in Thrace, the king asked me softly.

"If there is any confusion, I hope you can tell me."

"I... no matter how hard I try, I still can't learn recovery and healing magic," I lowered my head, "I can only learn attack magic...they are magic that hurt others."

Just like I killed Fay, he protected me with his life, but I will always only hurt others.

"smile."

"what?"

"Laugh."

Wang smiled at me, his expression was extremely gentle, as if it could infect people from the bottom of his heart, so I couldn't help but smile too when I saw this smile.

"You just used magic."

"Your smile healed me from the bottom of my heart."

"This is also a kind of magic."

Wang loves me so much, and he has such a gentle smile from the first day we met, and it hasn't changed at all until now.

After a hundred years, I escaped from him. Even now, I still hold the impossible hope that all this is just a dream.

Because I really can't understand why such a king suddenly changed.

There is no story about laughing, because it is a human instinct, so when a person loses even his instinct, we can almost say that this person has lost his heart.

In those days when I regained my smile, I probably followed Wang to learn magic for the first half of the time, and later, when I was finally able to be alone, I also started to assist Wang to go out and deal with some things.The most memorable time was to deal with the avalanche, that was the first time I went out to do errands alone, and that time, I brought back the feather of the princess that the population called.

Heh, as I was talking, I was unknowingly linked to the story behind, and people can't help but sigh that the world is unpredictable.

But at that time, how could I have thought that so many things would happen later.The person in the slit probably has the same purpose as me. He said that he wanted the princess of the desert to travel to various worlds. A piece of feather is lying quietly in my palm at this time, emitting a soft luster faintly.

According to that person, as long as it is placed next to Fay, Fay's body will not break down.I sighed in relief, now I finally don't have to worry.

However, let's transform the feather into a human form.We lost our parents when we were young. Although we have imagined what our parents looked like, the only one who has actually seen the portrait is our mother.

Then, turn it into the appearance of a mother, and let her be by his side instead of me.

The other piece is said to be taken with you when you travel.I was also curious about what the people who traveled with me would look like, how powerful the desert princess would be, what kind of performance the clone boy would have, and... the legendary witch's pawn, where would it be again? What is your role in this journey.

Thinking that for the sake of his wish, he might have to kill that innocent person, he couldn't help feeling a little sad.Thinking about it this way, when he was about to leave, he couldn't hear that there seemed to be many people everywhere.

"Thank you, Mister Magician!"

I was a little overwhelmed by the fact that so many people gathered around me when I didn't know it.The people who came here looked older than me, but because of the magic, my actual age is far beyond this small body, so there is nothing wrong with them calling it that.

But anyway, it's kind of awkward.

"Thank you for resolving the avalanche. You are worthy of being a person with the title of D-level magic."

"No..." I was lonely when I was young, and I have lived in the city for a long time. I am not used to such enthusiasm, "It is lucky that no one was injured..."

I bowed my lips to thank you, and when I turned around, I didn't pay attention to what was behind me, when I suddenly heard a crisp child's voice.

"Thank you."

Looking back, the little girl with freckles smiled at me and said:

"I'd be happier if you laughed, though!"

I froze.Seeing this, the adults around her quickly pulled her away and apologized to me, although I thought it was nothing.

"I..." I said frankly, "I can't smile naturally, because I'm not used to it."

Instead, I explained with a little apology, but the little girl was even more indifferent.

"Then just practice!"

"Look! Just like this!"

At that time, I felt that even her freckles looked good.

On the way back, I kept thinking about the question of "how to practice smiling", and even squeezed my stiff face with my hands. I was expressionless for a long time, and it seemed that I couldn't even control my facial muscles.

In a blink of an eye, I returned to the gate of the hall, and the soldiers guarding the city greeted me warmly.

"You are back!"

I nodded in agreement, and was about to go into the hall, when I overheard the conversation of the soldiers.

"It's really cold today." One of the soldiers rubbed his hands together.

"No matter how much you complain about that kind of thing, it's useless! You'd better say a few words less!"

The other person restrained the first person somewhat helplessly, but he didn't expect that the soldier didn't care at all and said:

"Because it's no use complaining any more, so at least let me complain!"

This word...

It seems reasonable.

I didn't know when I stopped.Seeing that the happy soldier was about to argue with his companions, his eyes suddenly swept towards me, and the other person followed him to look at me, and as a result, both of them were stunned.

Uh... really stiff...

"Just now...you laughed!"

"It's weird, isn't it?"

"No, it's good," said the cheerful soldier with a rich expression, and he didn't look like he was lying at all, "It would be better to smile more."

"King Asura will be happy too!"

When I went back that day, I walked to the mirror after a long absence.During the previous period, because I always thought of Fay, I didn’t dare to look at my face carefully. Only now did I realize that the once skinny little person has become much rounder, and his cheeks are no longer deeply sunken. Finally, Wang, who had been worrying about my eating problem, was relieved a little.I tried to hook the corners of my lips, and it didn't seem too ugly.

So, I fiddled with my face in front of the mirror to see if I could put on a better expression. Thinking of how the self-willedness and weakness of those days worried Wang He, and thinking of the words of the soldiers, I thought, at least it would make Wang He Just be happy.

Later, I did this, and Wang was really happy for me. His golden eyes were as warm as the sun in winter.

Years have never left imprints on Wang's face. I knelt on the ground, looking at the never-changing Wang, wondering if my smile could still make Wang happy.

But I can't laugh anymore, I can only look at Wang still's gentle smile, and Wang's hand stretched out to me as before.

The memories branded in my life are frantically emerging, I grab the air with gulps, the scenes in front of me coincide with the past one by one, so familiar that people think that time and space have reversed, but so strange that my whole body hurts.

The silent hall.

smiling king.

A gentle yet cruel smile bloomed on the corner of his lips, so bewitching as if he was not in this world.

"That's right, if you were the one who received the child's memory, you should know about it," Wang said with a smile. "At that time, when the child was asked the same question in the tower, he chose you."

"Fay, no,"

"Your real name...is probably 'Yoey'?"

Same expression as before, same tone as before, but...

"You replaced the name of the dead 'Faye', and made the name 'Yoey' disappear from the world,"

"But even so, it still cannot eliminate your sin."

I was instantly ashamed, but he seemed to be smiling more happily. The cruel reality made people have to deny all the past.

Wang, why did the gentle you who used to be suddenly disappear?

——The king who loved me so much like my father, are they all fake?

How should I deal with myself who has been taken care of by you all this time?

When I returned to the temple that day, the king was waiting for me in the hall as usual.

"You're back," Wang seemed to have known for a long time, "I heard that you defuse the avalanche in the western valley."

"How do you know?"

"I know."

Wang always knew everything, and often showed such a confident smile. I always thought that such a Wang was tall and handsome, but the Wang of that day seemed different, although I couldn't tell what was wrong.

"No matter how far away, even in other worlds, I can still recognize your magic," Wang squinted, "I mean it, Fay."

"No matter which world you get lost in, I can pick you up."

When I was young, I still didn't know the meaning of Wang's words, but I felt that it was time to tell Wang about the things I had considered all the way.

"King, you want to ask me... what is it?"

I went to solve the matter of Xue Beng by myself today, which means that I can finally be alone, and it is also time to repay the kindness to the king.

However, Wang seemed a little surprised, paused, and his expression became a little dignified.

"You... like Thrace, don't you?"

Even if I was ready to complete the task, I didn't expect Wang to ask such a question, and I was a little puzzled for a while.

"king……?"

"You, do you like this country?"

He repeated the question just now.

"Well..." I recovered without hesitation and said, "Everyone is very kind and willing to take me in, and..."

Both are good to me.

Even strangers who have never met before can greet each other cordially. This kind of ordinary but precious happiness is something I have never experienced in Farelia before.

"So……"

"If something happened, would you be willing to use your abilities for this country?"

"But," I expressed my worry, "if there is someone with stronger magic than me in this country..."

The white snow rock wall is vivid in my mind, and I can't help shivering when I think of the person in the gap.

"You're worried about that being cursed to kill that man?"

"Although I can't lift the curse, I can restrain it. Although your magic power will become stronger as you use it... But as long as you draw this on your body, it can restrain your power from growing stronger before the pattern disappears. "

The bird-shaped tattoo pattern Banxian is in the hands of the king, exuding the unique magical atmosphere of the king.

"However, if I die, the effectiveness will disappear..."

"Don't say anything to die..."

At that time, I didn't care about anything else, but subconsciously interrupted Wang's statement about death.

Wang is still so young, how can he...

However, Wang still stated lightly, as if he was talking about other people's affairs.

"Everyone is going to die, parting is just a matter of time."

"I just hope that... you can eliminate whoever is doing harm to this country, whoever that person is."

"That's my wish."

Wang Lengjun's expression only lasted for less than a moment, and then melted into a most gentle smile again.

I agreed.

Wang said thank you.

By the side of the pool in the hall, I looked at the person in the crystal coffin and my own reflection in the pool. The person in the coffin remained unchanged, but the shadow changed from a boy to a youth day after day.

"Don't worry, another 'Faye' has always been here, just like the one I saw when Xiaoji was born."

Years later, Ji Ye still answered me like this, and the footsteps outside the door were the same as before.

"You really are here."

"king……"

"The residents of the castle town sent rare fruit wine to thank you for melting the frozen lake."

"Wine—~"

Wang was amused by me.

"It's so nice of you to laugh like that...but you like wine more than food, isn't that great?"

"Aha~ That's because Thracian wine is delicious."

I inadvertently joked with Wang, but when I lowered my head, I saw a bright red.

"King, your hand..."

"Your Majesty, are you injured?"

Wang just looked at his bloody right hand indifferently, his golden eyes were terribly deep.

"No, it's not an injury."

In the hall, there are ministers reporting.

"The corpses in the valley seem to have been torn apart by wild beasts."

"I gonna go see!"

"Wait a moment."

"I'll check...if it's really a beast..."

"Wait a moment!"

"I heard that the number of victims has increased again."

"is it?"

"Perhaps it is a beast that has never appeared in Thrace before..."

"No...no..."

Wang denied.

"what?"

"He's always been in Thrace."

The little girl who taught me to laugh has grown into a virtuous young woman, the soldier who loves to laugh has also grown old, time makes people old, this is nothing, but...

They all died.

Died tragically in the snow of Thrace.

I can no longer bear being ordered by the king not to go out, even if I disobey the order, I must go.Almost rushed back to the palace, I pushed open the palace door——

"I'm going to hunt down the beast! No matter how many days it takes, I must defeat him! The people of Thrace can no longer be sacrificed..."

But at that moment, the hand pushing the door froze, and my confidence in protecting Thracian was also shattered.

The main hall was littered with corpses, and the handsome King Asura stood in a pool of blood, smiling as always, but his eyes were as cold as ice.

"So,"

Wang smiled at me,

"You have to beat me."

The blushing spots on his cheeks burned the entire hall like manju sand flowers, and even that smile seemed to come from hell together.

I heard that people who come from hell should not be afraid of anything anymore...

The scene in front of me coincides with the dusty past, and the corpses in the hall seem to be alive, and people are resenting and cursing——

Ominous twins.

will bring misfortune.

The king has gone mad.

Killing people like crazy.

……

I finally couldn't help myself and fell to my knees.

Once upon a time, people said, it was all because of the ominous twins.

Once, I killed my twin brother with my own hands, and he has long been buried in this palace... So that day I finally understood——

It turns out that the ominous person has always been only me.

The author has something to say:

Ah, I'm back~

This week has been delayed for a long time. It should have been updated every week. I did write 42 chapters last week, but I still think it is better to post 4243 consecutively.

42 will be posted here first, and 43 will be posted tomorrow at the latest at the latest. The Thracian special is coming to an end here... Well, it seems that there is nothing special, except for the storytelling, the special seems to be only the number of words

It feels like it’s not abusive when it’s really written. The most abusive one seems to be Infinity City?But I still wrote and cried OMG, everyone enjoys eating