secretly like him

How can I fall in love with someone?

How much effort and how long will it take?

Chen Feifei looked into the expectant eyes of the person opposite, sighed softly, and finally said, "Sorry..."

The other party obviously had a good self-cultivation. After hearing such an answer, he showed a disappointed expression for a moment.

But in the end, he still retained his proper demeanor and squeezed out a bitter smile: "No need to be sorry, I just feel sorry that I am not the person you are looking for."

This person's reaction was almost completely within Chen Feifei's expectations, but his heart kept sinking, and he almost fled in the end.

Walking alone in the crowd of people on the street, Chen Feifei was a little lost. Why is it always like this?

He carefully studied his possible preferences, patiently and meticulously selected a partner, and wanted to start a romantic relationship time and time again, but ended up in the ending he had pre-considered time and time again.

In the beginning, he always refused to call girls, which made him doubt his own sexuality, but no matter how good a man is, he still feels at peace.

It was as if he was born lacking the ability to love someone.

But how could it be?

He has so much love, love for relatives, love for friends, even a ray of sunshine on the window sill in the early morning, he can feel cute.

But why can't I find someone who can make him love?

It's a bit ridiculous to say that before he was thirty, he began to worry that he would die alone.

Chen Feifei once had a psychological consultation, and the doctor's words were exactly what he thought. The divorce of his parents made him subconsciously distrust feelings, to be more precise, he did not trust love.

Chen Feifei thinks that this may be another way of saying it. What he doesn't trust is not love, but the probability that such things as love will happen to him.

He couldn't help being a little envious of Shen Yanzhi, how lucky he must be to meet such a fool as Gu Xun.

It's just that after really substituting himself into Shen Yanzhi, it's hard for him to feel his heartbeat.

Maybe it's because he's too familiar with Gu Xun, maybe he doesn't want this kind of love, or maybe he missed the age when it's easiest to get enlightened.

Once encountering this kind of thing, he naturally becomes a bystander, all the steps are clear, and even the ending can be imagined to be exact.

The older you get, the more pronounced this feeling becomes.

Time has cast an invisible wall, making it difficult for him to feel what is called a heartbeat, and it is difficult to find even a moment of throbbing.

Colleagues sometimes laughed at him and said that when doing research, the whole researcher has no desires.

Chen Feifan could only push his glasses and give them a helpless smile.

Others think that he enjoys being single, but they don't know that he often thinks whether it is too early or too late to plan a lonely old age plan.

After get off work, his colleagues invited him to sing K, and he joined in the fun.

The life in the research institute is quite boring. Sometimes after the assignment, they have to immerse themselves in experiments for several months, so it has become quite common to go to sing and go clubbing together when they have free time.

The KTV private room was very noisy, a few Maiba were howling at the top of their lungs, Chen Feifei was watching them with a bottle of beer, enjoying the atmosphere.

Later, I don't know who ordered the foreign wine, a group of people were booing and playing around, and they drank a little too much without knowing it.

When the show was over, Chen Feifei felt a little shaky when walking. Although his mind was still clear, his reaction was obviously slow.

He doesn't usually drink much. The most important thing to do scientific research is to be clear-headed. It seems that this is the first time that he drank so much today.

The car must not be able to drive, as he thought so, he walked out with his colleagues, but the crowd suddenly stopped unexpectedly.

Chen Feifei was stunned for a moment, only to realize that everyone was looking in one direction, so he also looked in that direction.

Looking at it this way, Chen Feifei was really shocked. The group of people not far away were almost all top figures in the aerospace industry, and they could be said to be the idols of most of the people present.

But what surprised Chen Feifei was not the gathering of these industry experts here, but the man surrounded by this group of people.

That is--

Shen Mojin.

Almost immediately, the name broke through the barriers of memory and came to mind.

Even though so many years had passed, Chen Feifei still recognized him in the crowd at a glance.

He was a little dazed, and he didn't know if it was the effect of alcohol, his whole thinking became confused.

For a moment, I thought of Shen Mojin who I saw when I opened the door when I was young, and the way he smiled at me like a fox, and for a moment, I thought of the frightened feeling when I received this man's Christmas gift.

Then, at this moment, Shen Mojin seemed to have sensed something, and turned his head to look at him.

In an instant, their eyes met.

Chen Feifei felt that it was an illusion. With so many people, how could they be so accurate?

He closed his eyes and shook his head, feeling that the influence of alcohol on the brain became more and more obvious. If he had known earlier, he shouldn't have drunk so much just now.

But when he opened his eyes again, Chen Feifan saw Shen Mojin separate from the crowd and walk towards this direction.

Chen Feifan stared, watching Shen Mojin slowly walking in front of him, leaning slightly to approach him, smiling, with peach blossoms in his eyes, he was born with indescribable affection.

A man in his 30s is just the best age, without the immaturity of a teenager, the impetuosity of a youth, but he has not been eroded by the years, time has been stored in his body as fine wine, and his personable demeanor is intoxicating.

Shen Mojin smiled lightly and said, "Long time no see."

It was as if an unknown gate was suddenly opened, and inexplicable emotions poured down, filling the entire chest.

Chen Feifei's body's response was very slow, and his brain didn't know what instructions to make, only his heart was beating.

He replied in his heart, yes, long time no see.

12 years.

Long like a reincarnation.

He just looked at Shen Mojin stupidly, without saying a word.

Shen Mojin sized him up, raised his brows lightly, and asked, "Drink?"

It looked like he drank a lot.

Chen Feifei still didn't respond, just continued to look at him.

Shen Mojin reached out and counted in front of his eyes: "How much is this?"

Chen Feifei looked at his hands, they were very beautiful and well maintained, they didn't look like the hands of a man in his 30s at all.

Seeing that he seemed to be thinking hard, Shen Mojin turned to ask Chen Feifei's colleague beside him, "Excuse me, where does he live?"

The colleague's girl lost her soul when Shen Mojin saw it, and explained where Chen Feifei lived in a daze.

When Shen Mojin led the people away, the people next to him realized and said, "Is there any problem?"

The girl stared at the stars: "What's the problem?"

Everyone else laughed: "It's okay for her to be handsome!"

Their attention was quickly attracted by the bigwigs in the industry who hadn't finished their walks. They were almost all idols. If they didn't go up to get close at this time, when would they wait?

Chen Feifan didn't realize what was going on until Shen Mojin took him into the car.

The driver was driving ahead, and the air was filled with the faint smell of men's perfume. The source of the fragrance was sitting beside him, and the heat of his body was even transmitted through the touching arms.

Some are too close.

He moved, propping up his hands and wanted to sit a little further away from Shen Mojin, but he didn't expect his hands to soften, and he fell to the side.

Then he was hugged by a warm embrace.

The panic only lasted for a moment, and Chen Feifan felt that if he was thumping like a duck in the water now, it would be very ugly.

Forcibly restraining the urge to thump around, he tried his best to calmly say: "Sorry, I can't use my strength."

Shen Mojin helped him up, helped him to sit up, and then smiled and said, "I thought you wanted to run away again."

Chen Feifei knew that Shen Mojin was laughing at himself, about running away in a desperate situation.

But how old was he at that time, is it worth laughing at?

Although the reasoning is the same, he still feels that his cheeks are a little hot.

It may be because of the wine, or it may be because I feel a little silly when I think of myself in the first year of high school.

What was yourself like 12 years ago?

Chen Feifan couldn't remember clearly, but he still remembered that his mind was full of games and novels.

Oh, and I'm not nearsighted either.

Gu Xun just laughed at him, he didn't wear glasses for three years in high school, and he was admitted to university, but he studied hard and wore glasses.

Now that a few of them came out together, he seemed to have the most research temperament.

He couldn't think of any more.

But what Shen Mojin was like 12 years ago, in retrospect now, he can even clearly remember the curvature of the corners of this person's lips when he smiled.

so strange...

Chen Feifei turned his head to look at Shen Mojin beside him, time's love for this person had reached the point of partiality.

He was even better looking than he remembered.

Although Shen Yanzhi looks similar to him, the feeling of the two people is completely different.

Shen Yanzhi gave people the feeling of a cool breeze and a bright moon, looking gentle, but in fact, a little cold, a little far away, a cool male god.

Shen Mojin is that kind of...

He savored carefully, trying to find an appropriate metaphor.

In the end, because he couldn't move his mind, he simply and rudely gave him an image.

It's just... a vixen...

Seeing that he was always staring at him in a daze, the vixen asked, "Did you see anything?"

Chen Feifei smiled and said, "You seem to have not changed much."

Of course, there are still changes, but these changes are more about temperament and momentum. From the face alone, it seems that they haven't changed much.

Shen Mojin reached out to take off his glasses, and said, "You have changed a lot."

From a teenager to a man, from 16 to 28 years old, how could there be no change.

From a hairy child to an adult, this kind of change is almost earth-shaking.

Chen Feifan lost his sense of security, not to mention that he was blind when he took off his glasses. He reached out and wanted to take them back.

Shen Mojin pressed his hand and said, "Close your eyes and rest for a while, and I'll call you when the time comes."

Chen Feifan had the illusion of being burned, but he didn't move, but closed his eyes obediently.

He breathed a sigh of relief when he felt the warmth from his hands leave.

Although he won't run away like he did back then, he always feels an inexplicable sense of nervousness when facing Shen Mojin.

Fortunately, we won't be together for long, it's just a chance encounter.

The car was parked downstairs in the apartment where Chen Feifei lived. Shen Mojin sent the Buddha to the west, and helped him up the stairs together.

After entering the door, Chen Feifan said, "Just put me on the sofa."

He hadn't showered yet, smelled of alcohol, and didn't want to spoil the bed.

Shen Mojin helped him sit on the sofa according to his words, and then asked, "Pour you a glass of water?"

Chen Feifei didn't speak, but looked up at Shen Mojin, but he couldn't see clearly because his glasses were being pinched in his hand.

Because he couldn't see clearly, he didn't know the expression on Shen Mojin's face at the moment, he only knew that because he didn't speak, the person in front of him left.

The eyes became empty, Chen Feifan blinked, closed his eyes, and wanted to just sleep for a while.

But the sound of unfamiliar footsteps sounded again, and something warm was pressed to his mouth.

Shen Mojin's voice said, "Open your mouth."

Chen Feifan opened his mouth, and then warm water was fed in along the gap between his lips.

Chen Feifei suddenly realized something, opened his eyes, and saw Shen Mojin carefully feeding himself with a water cup.

This knowledge made his swallowing movement stagnate, and the water trickled down the corner of his lips until it disappeared into his collar.

Shen Mojin stopped.

Chen Feifan didn't bother to wipe it himself, but just stared at him with wide eyes.

He actually... didn't leave...

Chen Feifan was a little unsure whether this was real, or he had fallen asleep and was dreaming.

A hand touched the corner of his mouth, followed the water stain, slowly wiped his chin, and then stopped.

Chen Feifei looked at Shen Mojin in some confusion. He was obviously very innocent, but there was a kind of youthful temptation.

Shen Mojin's peach blossom eyes narrowed, like a big cat sizing up its prey, oozing danger.

The next moment, Chen Feifei felt that his chin was pinched, warm lips kissed him, and the tip of his tongue pried open his teeth and wrapped around his.

Lips and tongues intertwined, this is a real kiss, without any falsehood.

After the kiss was over, Chen Feifei's chest heaved violently. Before Shen Mojin left, the lips of the two were still touching gently with the ups and downs of their breathing.

He managed to regain his language function: "For...why?"

Shen Mojin's fingertips gently caressed the corner of his mouth, and his voice was like smooth silk: "Your eyes are saying that you want me to kiss you."

The author has something to say: Tsk tsk, uncle smelly shameless!