Tiandi Baiju

Du Jing flattened the photo, put it back in his wallet, and continued: "At the beginning, my father followed my mother to Madrid and promised her that she could marry someone else. The only condition was to let him see my stepfather with his own eyes."

Zhou Luoyang said, "They weren't divorced at that time?"

"No." Du Jing said, "After arriving here, he quickly regretted it. He quarreled at his stepfather's house and wanted to die together, but they sent him away in the end."

"Are you there?" Zhou Luoyang asked.

"Of course," Du Jing said, "We are a family, and we came to Madrid together."

Zhou Luoyang: "..."

Zhou Luoyang didn't know how much psychological shadow that scene had brought to Du Jing. His father and mother were about to divorce, but the father still brought the child and came to Europe with his wife.

"Then he returned to China?" Zhou Luoyang asked.

"No," Du Jing replied, "They put him in a mental hospital. Three days later, in the church next to the hospital, my stepfather and my mother held their wedding ceremony, which is the church we passed by just now. The hospital has been demolished and was Move to Granada."

"What did he do when he was alive?" Zhou Luoyang asked again.

Now he can chat with Du Jing about his past naturally. If it was another person, he might be careful not to touch on things that Du Jing didn't want to mention, but Zhou Luoyang knew that for Du Jing, they didn't need to have too much Many scruples.

"Poet." Du Jing said, "I went to see him later. He was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and was misdiagnosed as schizophrenia. My mother's infidelity in marriage exacerbated his condition. Of course, she can't be blamed for this. He didn't want to Divorced...alcoholic, domestic violence. Every time they took me to visit him in the hospital, he had written all over the walls in the ward, walking around."

Zhou Luoyang said: "The scene was a bit scary. What were those poems written in?"

"Chinese, nonsense words and phrases," Du Jing said, "I don't understand, he is indeed a lunatic."

"He wanted to die, but they wouldn't let him commit suicide or let him out. He just wrote his poems all over the plastic wall, and then looked at me and laughed."

"The smile is very strange, and he told me that this ward will be reserved for me in the future, so I must come to live in it. The him now is the me in the future. We are actually the same person."

Zhou Luoyang: "..."

Du Jing said: "For a six-year-old child, the impression created by that scene...is not very easy to describe. So I don't want to laugh. They all said that I resemble him, and I also found it, the smile of a mental patient Must be creepy."

Zhou Luoyang put his hand on the back of Du Jing's and clenched it slightly.

Du Jing pondered for a moment, and then said: "Later, he died inexplicably and peacefully. After they went to dispose of the body, I went in and took a look at the ward where he stayed. The hospital is repainting the walls."

"I won't let you be sent to that kind of place," Zhou Luoyang said, "no matter what happens."

Du Jing hummed and said, "If someone comes to arrest me, please let me hide in your house. Give me a basement, put an iron chain around my neck, and just bring me water and food every day. If someone asks, you Let’s say you have a grumpy dog ​​in the basement, and being your dog is more dignified than going to a mental institution. That’s my last wish.”

Zhou Luoyang patted Du Jing's head with a smile: "I will take good care of you and promise not to be discovered by anyone until you die naturally."

"Are you ready?" Du Jing said casually.

"Well, it's settled," Zhou Luoyang replied, "I will always remember it."

Du Jing hugged Zhou Luoyang's waist from behind and let him lie half in his arms, and the two listened quietly to the sound of the rain.Zhou Luoyang was filled with emotions for a moment. He knew that his promise was very pale, but no matter what he promised, Du Jing would seriously believe it.Or wishful thinking to convince myself before being thrown away.

But how long can one person take care of another?He used to think that his father was very tough, and he did not hesitate to tear up his face with his grandfather, and wanted to marry that Japanese woman, which broke his mother's heart even more.After the remarriage, he thought his father had finally found true love.But when I went to see him, I found out unexpectedly:

They look like that.

He couldn't feel the deep love between his father and his stepmother. At home in Tokyo, they didn't speak a word or two all day long.My father left early and returned late, often returning home at two o'clock in the middle of the night, which was not as good as the original family.

Du Jing was silent for a moment, then suddenly said: "Even if I know you are lying to me, I am very happy at this moment. I don't know whose man you will be in the future. Your future girlfriend must love you very much."

Zhou Luoyang laughed, grabbed Du Jing's hand touching his face from behind, and said, "Hey, don't mess around. Your mind is a little dangerous."

Zhou Luoyang and Du Jing stayed together in the dormitory day and night, and they were used to making harmless jokes occasionally.But this was the first time he felt that Du Jing actually reacted to boys.

He knew that Du Jing's hormones were quite strong, which was determined by his condition.The manic phase will cause the body's hormones to become unbalanced, and the body and skin are in frequent contact, even if the other party is of the same sex, there will be a reaction.

But they rarely talked about sex on weekdays. Zhou Luoyang didn't realize that Du Jing liked to solve it by himself, and he didn't watch small movies much.

"I'm sorry," Du Jing immediately apologized, "That's not what I meant."

Zhou Luoyang raised his hand and touched Du Jing's head. Du Jing hugged Zhou Luoyang like this, quietly watching the rain outside.

Zhou Luoyang: "In fact, I don't have any longing for marriage and family, maybe it's because of my original family."

Du Jing said: "But you can still fall in love. Thinking of which girl will become your girlfriend in the end, you have to give her all your time. With your personality, you will definitely take care of her and care about her. It makes me uncomfortable."

Zhou Luoyang said lightly: "I don't want to fall in love yet, I think... well, this is fine."

Du Jing said: "Of course she may be more jealous of me, and thinks that you care more about me than she does."

"It's different." Zhou Luoyang felt that he needed to reassure Du Jing, so he thought about it and said, "I don't really want to fall in love before graduation. Let's talk about it after graduation."

But Du Jing said: "Talk if you want, don't care about my feelings, I am already very happy to know you at the moment, you know I never mention this to people, and I am not good at expressing."

"I know." Zhou Luoyang nodded, knowing that Du Jing was purely afraid of losing him, because Du Jing chose not to get married. Once Zhou Luoyang had a girlfriend, Du Jing would be truly alone from now on.

"I want to kiss you, nothing else." Du Jing finally said.

Zhou Luoyang saw that in Du Jing's family, when his stepfather received guests, even if they were of the same sex, he would always kiss each other generously and naturally.

Then, without waiting for Zhou Luoyang's permission, Du Jing kissed his ear.

When the rain stopped, Du Jing went back to the side of the road, tried to start his car, and returned to normal.

This passage is Zhou Luoyang's deepest memory of Europe. Later, the whole journey was very hot, and they didn't stay too long. They only stayed in Europe for ten days before returning to China.

Zhou Luoyang suddenly felt that maybe Du Jing was the one who would fall in love. Although he said he wouldn't get married, he needed a family and the warmth of his family too much.Because of the lack, so obsessed.

As for his illness, as long as the other party fully understands and knows, and is willing to accompany him, what's the problem?Du Jing is still very attractive. He is a down-to-earth and responsible boy with a good character.

But what caught Zhou Luoyang off guard was that his premonition came true so quickly.

As soon as the sophomore year started, someone confessed to Du Jing that he was still a boy and their junior junior, but that was another story from the past.

Zhou Luoyang took off his earphones, covered in sweat, knocked on the door, opened it and went in to see how Du Jing was doing.

Du Jing lay silently on the bed, and there was an empty medicine bottle on the bedside table.

Zhou Luoyang's expression changed instantly, he stepped forward to look at the medicine bottle, and said in a trembling voice, "Du Jing, Du Jing!"

Du Jing didn't speak, just looked at the ceiling quietly.

"Du Jing!" Zhou Luoyang shook him, and fell into fear for a moment.

He hugged Du Jing's waist, buried his head in listening to his heartbeat, and said, "What medicine did you take, Du Jing? Du Jing, please, answer me quickly!"

Du Jing still didn't speak, Zhou Luoyang couldn't help shaking, he couldn't even hold the medicine bottle.

He forced himself to calm down, he had to be calm, and after a full 30 seconds, he finally read the words on the medicine bottle - it was the antidepressant medicine that Du Jing often took.He didn't know what the consequences would be if he ate so much at one time, and whether he needed to be sent for gastric lavage, but the most urgent thing was to send him to the hospital immediately.

"Where's the phone number of the attending doctor?" Trembling, Zhou Luoyang went to look through Du Jing's bag, and suddenly realized a problem. He always felt that he knew Du Jing well enough, but when the accident happened, Zhou Luoyang discovered that he was right about Du Jing. Du Jing's situation is simply unknown.

He didn't know which hospital Du Jing went to for follow-up visits after returning to China, he didn't know the phone number of the attending doctor, and he didn't even know the status of his condition.

Zhou Luoyang gradually calmed down, and said in a low and hasty voice, "Du Jing, it's okay, you'll be fine...Let me find your attending doctor first..."

Zhou Luoyang found the only phone number in Du Jing's wallet—however, it was Zhou Luoyang's own phone number.

After a moment of silence, Zhou Luoyang knelt by the bed, held Du Jing's hand, and started calling Fang Zhou, asking if his uncle knew any psychiatrists in Wan City.Fortunately, Fang Zhou didn't ask too much, and said, "I'm going to contact you, is there a hurry?"

"It's urgent." Zhou Luoyang said.

"Don't hang up," Fang Zhou said.

Zhou Luoyang buried his face in Du Jing's hands and kept praying in his heart. Hearing Fang Zhou's fast typing, Fang Zhou said after a while, "I sent you the address, it's near your home."

"I've moved." Zhou Luoyang glanced at WeChat, not far away, and asked, "Can I come?"

If he didn't call an ambulance, he really couldn't take Du Jing there.

"Let me ask." Fang Zhou was silent for a few seconds, and said, "Yes, you can send your home address, and you will be there in 10 minutes if there is no traffic jam. Do you need me to come?"

"No need," Zhou Luoyang said, "I'll call you if something happens."

The 10 minutes of waiting for the doctor felt like a century. Zhou Luoyang lay down on the bed, hugging the silent Du Jing. live.

The doorbell rang and the doctor finally came.

Zhou Luoyang finally caught hold of the straw, and watched anxiously. The doctor first checked Du Jing's pupils. It seemed that he had experienced many similar things. Then he looked at the medicine bottle and asked, "Do you have any medical records?"

Zhou Luoyang said: "I'll look for it, I don't know how much medicine he took at one time."

He found Du Jing's medical records. The doctor rolled his eyes and said, "The stage has changed."

Zhou Luoyang said, "Do you want to send it for gastric lavage?"

The doctor said: "It's best to take it to the hospital. I'll call a car to come over."

"What kind of hospital are you?" Zhou Luoyang said, "Is it a mental hospital? Sorry, I don't know..."

"Seventh hospital, he is my patient." The doctor said.

Zhou Luoyang almost cried, closed his eyes, and said, "Thank God, what a coincidence."

"The psychological closure caused by depression," the doctor explained, "give him another medicine and infusion, what is your relationship with the patient?"

Zhou Luoyang blurted out without thinking: "Family, I may have accidentally provoked him while chatting today."

The doctor finished the call and said, "Let's observe the situation first."

Zhou Luoyang almost begged, "Will he get better?"

The doctor said: "I can't say for sure now. If there is no special situation tonight, the problem is not big. You have to stay with him from now on."

Zhou Luoyang knew that doctors, like lawyers, would not give him an affirmative answer, but saying this should be to let him not worry.

"Come on, pick him up first." The middle-aged doctor said calmly, "There shouldn't be much medicine left. If he takes it every day, he doesn't need gastric lavage. Does he take it every day?"

"I don't know," Zhou Luoyang said, "He said it himself, he eats on time every day."

Zhou Luoyang didn't even pay attention to whether Du Jing was taking the medicine on time every day. He asked Du Jing about this matter more than once, and Du Jing's answer was to take the medicine on time.

"How could this be?" The middle-aged doctor began to educate Zhou Luoyang and asked him to help lift Du Jing.

"My family has a wheelchair!" Zhou Luoyang said.

"You have to supervise him..." the middle-aged doctor said, "...this young man is quite heavy."

Zhou Luoyang took Du Jing's arm and carried him into the wheelchair.The ambulance came quickly and sent them to the hospital. During this time, the middle-aged doctor kept explaining to Zhou Luoyang the precautions for taking care of depressed patients.

"Why did he suddenly take so much medicine?" Zhou Luoyang asked the doctor after Du Jing was injected with a little sedative and fell asleep.

"You have to use his logic to understand." The middle-aged doctor said.

"He felt that he had turned into depression. In order not to let you find out, he wanted to suppress the condition, so he took all the remaining drugs at once. In his understanding at that moment, drugs were equivalent to direct treatment, and overdose was equivalent to The illness was brought under control in an instant. Then, in order to temporarily pass this time, he tried to give himself psychological hints and closed the communication with the outside world."

"Really?" Zhou Luoyang said, "It's like this...it's better if it's like this...he didn't suddenly want to commit suicide, right?"

The doctor seemed to want to ask Zhou Luoyang what happened to the two of them before, but he held back in the end.

"Lover, family," says the doctor, "requires patience when dealing with someone with bipolar disorder."

The doctor roughly educated Zhou Luoyang again on what Fangzhou's uncle had said.It seemed that they also understood the pain of their family members, but to Zhou Luoyang, he couldn't listen anymore.

He held Du Jing's hand all the time, stared at his closed eyes and his handsome face, the scar was especially conspicuous under the dim light of the hospital, which made him feel very sad.

After the doctor left, Zhou Luoyang whispered again: "Du Jing, I'm sorry. There is still half of that sentence, it's just me..."

"I know." Du Jing closed his eyes, finally said the first sentence, and put his hand gently on Zhou Luoyang's head, and said in a low voice, "It's the same sentence as I want to say."

Zhou Luoyang finally breathed a sigh of relief.

After Du Jing recovered that night, he was conscious, but he still had to close the door.The doctor didn't teach him a lesson, instead he re-prescribed the medicine, and Zhou Luoyang didn't say anything about "you can't do this again", because Du Jing himself didn't want to torment him.

"I'm sorry." Until the evening of the next day, when Du Jing returned to the front of the house, he suddenly said something.

"Don't be like this." Zhou Luoyang tried his best to smile and let go of Du Jing's hand. He was able to walk on his own, but due to the overdose of the drug, it would cause him a little dizziness. The doctor's suggestion is to sleep slowly and slowly. recover.

Zhou Luoyang opened the door, and when he entered the house, he was surprised to find that Le Yao was at home!

"Leyao?" Zhou Luoyang realized that the doctor came and left in a hurry yesterday, and the house was in chaos.

"Where did you go?" Le Yao asked in surprise, "I thought you were out to play, did you have dinner?"

Du Jing stood propping up the shoe cabinet for a while, still dizzy.

Zhou Luoyang asked Du Jing to sit down and changed his shoes.Le Yao glanced at the adhesive tape on the back of Du Jing's hand after the infusion, and his eyes were full of doubts.

"No." Zhou Luoyang said, "Why did you come back early? You didn't say anything."

Le Yao replied: "The temperature dropped suddenly. It was too cold. Everyone suggested going to Aaron's house to play. I didn't want to go so I came back." After that, he rolled his wheelchair to the kitchen and said, "Let me make dinner."

Du Jing sat in a daze in the hallway, and Zhou Luoyang asked him to enter the room to rest.In the bedroom, Du Jing suddenly said, "Le Yao came in."

"He thought we were at home." Zhou Luoyang replied, "Do you want to take a bath?"

Du Jing shook his head, sat by the bed, stared at his watch, he used to take it off and put it on the bedside table on non-working days.

He thought about it for a long time, and finally didn't speak, put the watch into the drawer of the bedside table and locked it.

Zhou Luoyang was hungry, tired and dying, so he didn't think much about the meaning behind Du Jing's words.From the next day, a low air pressure began to pervade the house—Du Jing kept silent, skipped breakfast, and just sat on the sofa in a daze.

Le Yao was a little frightened, but still tried her best to pretend nothing had happened, and dared not speak more.

Zhou Luoyang said to his younger brother: "It's okay, Du Jing is just a little uncomfortable, just let him stay by himself."

"He won't be overwhelmed?" Le Yao said to his elder brother, obviously guessing what happened last night.

Du Jing's depression episode this time was more serious than any other time, Zhou Luoyang said to Leyao: "Just pretend he's not here, and don't talk to him. Otherwise, if he answers you, it will make him feel even more tired. "

Le Yao nodded and said, "But he doesn't eat or drink, so he has to think of a way?"

Zhou Luoyang thought that if he really couldn't do it, he could only take him for an infusion, but he tried it.

"Is it okay to sit here?" Zhou Luoyang moved a small sofa and faced the floor-to-ceiling windows. Outside the window was the rare blue sky in Wan City. The scenery was very good. He asked Du Jing to sit on the small sofa, with a round tea table beside him. Boiled a bowl of oats with glucose and put it on hand.

Du Jing nodded and said, "Thank you, Luoyang, I love you."

Zhou Luoyang almost shed tears when he heard this. He knew that Du Jing used his best efforts to break through the mental state of depression and respond to him, which was very difficult for Du Jing who was suffering from an illness.

In the next two days, Zhou Luoyang and Le Yao lived and talked as usual. Du Jing sat quietly in front of the French window like a sculpture. School.

Du Jing got better, stood at the dining table drinking milk, glanced at Le Yao, and said, "See you next week."

"See you next week." Le Yao smiled.

Zhou Luoyang hailed a car. After all, with Du Jing's appearance, he couldn't send Le Yao to school. When he was sent downstairs, Le Yao said worriedly, "Go back quickly."

Zhou Luoyang nodded and said with a smile, "You have grown up."

Le Yao hesitated to speak, and finally said: "I...or should I take a few days off? You can't take care of it alone."

Zhou Luoyang immediately said, "No, I can handle it."

Le Yao sighed, and Zhou Luoyang naturally knew what he meant—after sending away a patient with great difficulty, there was another patient in the family. Le Yao just felt sorry for his brother and felt that he was too tired.

"It's nothing," Zhou Luoyang said, "It's a sweet burden. I'm willing to take care of you two."

"Then let's see you next week." Le Yao said, "You are going to Sotheby's, and you have to go to the store, right?"

Zhou Luoyang finally remembered that he also opened an antique shop.

"I'll work hard." Zhou Luoyang held his forehead and said, "You work hard too."

"You are like the sun," Le Yao said, "Brother, you are so warm."

Zhou Luoyang sent his younger brother away, returned home, and took a look at the environment.

Du Jing finally survived the most difficult period, and this time his illness was severe, even more serious than the one in Hangzhou.But he made it through with dogged will, as he sat at the kitchen table using his computer.Zhou Luoyang thought to himself, are you already preparing for work?I have to go to work tomorrow too.

When he took a closer look, he found that Du Jing was flipping through the photos of their life together on the computer.

"Where did you find it?" Zhou Luoyang asked anxiously.

"You still keep it." Du Jing said.

"Of course," Zhou Luoyang said sitting beside him, "That was the happiest moment in my life."

Du Jing said, "Really?"

Zhou Luoyang replied, "Yes."

At that time, they took pictures in many places. Du Jing had always disliked being photographed because of the injury on his face, but Zhou Luoyang wanted to keep the past.In the dormitory, after class, and when the two of them go shopping, watching exhibitions or traveling together.

After Du Jing left without saying goodbye, Zhou Luoyang chose to seal them all up and added a password to the folder, but Du Jing unlocked the password almost effortlessly.

Neither of them mentioned the password. Zhou Luoyang went to the hall, sat on a small stool, and brushed Du Jing's leather shoes for work.

"Have you finished watching?" Zhou Luoyang asked.

"So many shots." Du Jing said.

Zhou Luoyang said, "Isn't it time for you to take a shower?"

Du Jing's hair is messy, but it doesn't look oily. However, he hasn't showered for almost three days after returning from the hospital.

"I don't want to move." Du Jing said.

Zhou Luoyang said again: "You have to go to work tomorrow, so you can't go to the company like this. I have to go to the store later, let's go together and get some fresh air."

Du Jing didn't speak, Zhou Luoyang pulled him up again, pushed him to the bathroom, and said, "Go, take a shower, take a shower."

This time Du Jing was very obedient, standing barefoot on the tiled floor and began to undress, but Zhou Luoyang followed him in.

When he was depressed before, Zhou Luoyang asked him to take a bath, and he could stand still in the bathroom for two hours, letting the water drench.Zhou Luoyang took the clothes and decided to wash them with him, just like in the bathhouse that day.

He turned on the two bathroom nozzles, took off his clothes, and stood with Du Jing in the hot water and steam.

"I'm fine." Du Jing lowered his head slightly, stared at Zhou Luoyang, and said seriously.

Zhou Luoyang replied, "I know."

The two faced each other frankly. Du Jing looked at Zhou Luoyang's body, but Zhou Luoyang was very natural and let him watch.

"Boss, please raise your arm."

Du Jing raised his hands to the height of his shoulders and placed them flat on the wooden shelf on the side of the bathroom, showing perfect abdominal muscles and waistline, and the muscle contour of his chest was full of tension.Zhou Luoyang wore a scrub glove, dipped in some shower gel, and scrubbed his chest and abdomen.

"The figure is really good." Zhou Luoyang raised his eyes, looked at Du Jing, and joked, "It's the same as Luo Dan's sculpture, are you making a movie, boss? I guarantee you will become a movie star."

Du Jing didn't speak, just looked at Zhou Luoyang quietly, his hair was wet and hung between his eyebrows, he looked a little silly, like a loyal Gu Mu.