miss a useless name

29.

The sky was dark gray, with faint echoes of wind and waves.

Before Cheng Shen left the house, he cooked yam pork ribs soup, put it in a bowl and put it in the warmer to keep warm, and drank it when Yu Yan came back.

Yu Yan shook his head: "I'll take a shower first."

The sound of water soon came from the bathroom. Cheng Shen stood in the kitchen for a while, brought out the soup, put it in the pot to boil again, and then ordered a bowl of noodles.Afraid of eating too much greasy food in the morning, he deliberately skimmed off the oily foam on his face.

After a while, Yu Yan came out after washing, and it was getting colder. He changed into dark long-sleeved pajamas, a soft shirt, and the collar button was loose, revealing a small piece of thin chest.

He tore off the plaster on his neck, covering those horrific marks for two days, and healed very slowly.

Cheng Shen put the noodles on the table: "Yanyan, let's eat something."

Yu Yan was still holding the towel in his hand, and sat down at the dining table while wiping the water, fearing that his hair would be wet and dripping, so he put the towel directly on his shoulders.

He has no appetite, nor is he hungry, he just doesn't want to waste it.

Cheng Shen sat across from him and watched him eat. Yu Yan ate very well. He only picked up a few chopsticks and put them into his mouth in small mouthfuls without making a sound.Yu Yan told him before that it was forcibly corrected by his grandma with chopsticks when he was a child.

Yu Yan stopped chopsticks after eating a little.

Cheng Shen asked nervously, "What's the matter, isn't it delicious?"

"No," Yu Yan took out a tissue to wipe his mouth: "I'm full."

Cheng Shen frowned, and saw that there was still more than half of the bowl left: "Is this enough to eat?" Then, he brought the bowl in front of himself: "I really don't want to eat?"

"Don't eat."

Without much persuasion, Cheng Shen picked up his used chopsticks and ate his leftover noodles.

Yu Yan leaned back against the seat, pulled off the towel, and continued to wipe his hair.Cheng Shen's food was very tasty, unlike Yu Yan who took his time, and half of the noodles would be lost after two or three chopsticks.

Yu Yan's eyes twitched uncontrollably.

In fact, many times, Cheng Shen can still find the shadow of his youth.For example, the appearance of eating, or the flattery after a quarrel, or even the exaggerated hostility towards Zhou Fang.

Yu Yan reflected on it later, knowing how much Cheng Shen cared about Zhou Fang's existence, but met privately without telling him, and was caught in the end.Even though his original intention was to not want Cheng Shen to think too much, but after being exposed, all Cheng Shen saw was concealment and deception.He was indeed innocent, and he never had other thoughts, but Cheng Shen's anger stemmed from caring and possessing him, so that he hurt him impulsively.

Injuries in the name of love seem to have a romantic tinge, as if they can always be easily forgiven.

Yu Yan didn't want to think too much, and got up from his seat as if evading: "I'm going to sleep first."

When Cheng Shen packed up and returned to the room, Yu Yan had already fallen asleep.

He lay flat on the bed, with his thin white arms exposed, pressing the dark quilt cover, like a handful of silver glow in the dark night.

Cheng Shen held the heated towel in his hand, he didn't dare to overheat it, for fear of waking Yu Yan up.He gently applied it on Yu Yan's neck, the warm and comfortable touch made the sleeping person tilt his head to the side.

Cheng Shen smiled, thinking that Yu Yan's defenseless appearance was cute.He didn't know if it was useful, he just wanted to let those traces disappear quickly, he was afraid that Yu Yan would think of everything that night when he saw it.

At that time, he thought that it was the ugliest appearance Yu Yan could see.

·

When Yu Yan woke up, he was still held in Cheng Shen's arms.

The man hugged him from behind, pressing one hand across his chest tightly.When Yu Yan was sleeping, he felt out of breath and had a heavy dream. When he opened his eyes and saw the arm, he understood it, and pushed it wordlessly.

Cheng Shen woke up with a slight movement, and then squeezed his whole body over, hugged him even harder, unconsciously kissed his side neck, and said in a hoarse voice, "Sleep a little longer."

When Yu Yan wakes up, it's hard to fall asleep again. He wants to turn over but is hugged so tightly, he feels like he's about to sweat: "You loosen it, it's so hot."

"Not loose." Cheng Shen was so difficult to deal with, he breathed all the heat into Yu Yan's ears: "I will never loosen for a lifetime."

In the end, a phone call saved him.

Cheng Shen's cell phone rang, and he let go of Yu Yan helplessly. He just woke up and was still angry when he got up. When he answered the phone, his tone was not very good: "Hello!"

The other party didn't know what to say, and the irritability on Cheng Shen's face quickly faded away, and he even smiled a little: "Okay, just ring the doorbell, and I'll let you up."

After hanging up the phone, he lay down next to Yu Yan, and leaned over to kiss his face in a good mood: "Baby, get up quickly."

Yu Yan's expression was inexplicable: "Who is it?"

Cheng Shen played tricks and sat up with a smile: "You can dawdle for another 5 minutes."

As soon as he finished speaking, the doorbell rang.

Cheng Shen hurriedly put on his shoes and got out of bed, and frantically unlocked the downstairs unit.

After a while, someone knocked on the door of his house.

Yu Yan couldn't quite hear what Cheng Shen was saying to others, so he sat up slowly, buttoned up his loose pajamas, and checked the time by the way.He slept for a long time, and it was past twelve o'clock, so he guessed that Cheng Shen probably ordered takeaway.

The door opened and closed, Cheng Shen sent people away, the sound of plastic paper came from the other end, accompanied by steady footsteps.

As soon as Yu Yan walked to the door, he collided with Cheng Shen, and froze in place the next moment.

His pitch-black eyes burned bright red, and a strong shock erupted from his chest.

"You..." Yu Yan hoarse, dazed, as if being poked by something.

He remembered many years ago, that was the hundredth day he and Cheng Shen were together.When they first entered university, one of them was in Beicheng and the other was in Haicheng, quite far away.Boys don't have that much sense of ritual. They haven't been separated since they were 17 years old. "Together" seems to be just the advancement of a relationship. He didn't even count how long he and Cheng Shen were together.

Yu Yan remembered that it was an afternoon, he had just returned to the dormitory after class, and immediately received a call from Cheng Shen.Cheng Shen told him: "Your courier has arrived, you are waiting downstairs, you go and get it."

"Ah?" Yu Yan asked confusedly: "What express delivery, I didn't buy anything."

"I bought it for you, go!"

Later, Yu Yan recalled many times that this lie was very clumsy. The school has a site dedicated to sending and receiving couriers. When taking the courier, there will be a text message sent to the mobile phone to ask someone to pick it up, or the courier will call someone to pick it up. No matter what. It has nothing to do with Cheng Shen.

But at that time, Yu Yan didn't think about anything, and ran downstairs very obediently.

Yu Yan was a freshman at the time, and the school was divided into old and new districts, and their freshmen were arranged in the old district, not the kind of circle, but a single house with a small garden behind it.

He had just arrived downstairs, and before he stepped out of the iron gate of the dormitory building, he saw Cheng Shen standing sideways by the courtyard wall.

That man was so conspicuous, tall, long, and good-looking, Yu Yan had never been so excited before, how did he know that Cheng Shen sent him here by courier.

Seeing him, Cheng Shen took out his hands behind his back. He was holding eleven red roses. The purple wrapping paper rubbed his palms dirty, but he smiled and stuffed the flowers into Yu Yan's arms: "I hugged them all the way from Beicheng. Come here, many people in the car are looking at me."

How stupid Cheng Shen was at that time, he didn't even know where to buy it.There is a flower shop near Yuyan School. Flowers are very popular on Teacher's Day and Valentine's Day.But he just held it all the way, thinking about it, and took the long train alone, rushing to say a word of complaint to Yu Yan when they met.

Yu Yan remembered Cheng Shen very clearly, but his own reaction was rather vague.He didn't seem to have any reaction, he was stunned when he received flowers for the first time as a boy.

After thinking about it, I asked: "...why did you send flowers?"

Cheng Shen poked his face with a purple finger, as if annoyed that he forgot what day it was today: "Today is our [-]th day together!"

After so many suns and moons, Yu Yan once again picked up the flowers stuffed in the process.

The eleven roses that year traveled a long distance and passed through the crowds, and when they were delivered to Yu Yan, they were already wilted and not beautiful.

Now, Yu Yan is holding a bigger bunch, eleven flowers have become 99 flowers, sluggishness has degenerated into bright colors, tacky inferior wrapping paper has sublimated into delicate black gauze.

Yu Yan asked the same question as before: "Why send flowers?"

Cheng Shen didn't poke him in the face this time, but smiled and said to him through the bouquet: "I want to make you happy."

The flower language of eleven roses is: I love you for the rest of my life.

The flower language of 99 roses is: forever with you.

Their love seems to be stronger, but Yu Yan misses the boy who wants to be with him forever, not the man in front of him who wants to be with him forever.

Cheng Shen paused, looking at Yu Yan's expression: "Yanyan, are you unhappy?"

"No," Yu Yan raised the corners of his lips bluntly: "I'm happy, there are no more vases at home, let's go to the supermarket."

In fact, Cheng Shen seldom coaxes gloom. What comes with more and more successful careers is his ability to deal with difficult problems with ease, his calmness and sternness when fighting in the market, and his eloquence on the negotiating table.Therefore, when he took off the gorgeous coat belonging to "Mr. Cheng" and turned to face Yu Yan, the gentleness and thoughtfulness he still had in dealing with outsiders seemed particularly thin.

He became more and more impatient and impatient, especially in the face of Yu Yan's silence, he was at a loss as to what to do.The previous warmth was replaced by indifference. He no longer likes to coax Yu Yan, and doesn't care about him anymore. During the busiest period of cooperation, he even felt more comfortable staying in the company than at home, so he gradually stopped going back.

Working overtime and traveling on business, he spent nearly half a year like this.He found that even if he didn't go back, Yu Yan didn't have much reaction, and he seemed to be dispensable to him, so he also made Yu Yan dispensable.

Until that rainy night, in the corridor of the hospital, Yu Yan collapsed in front of him without warning.Only then did Cheng Shen realize that he was so afraid of losing him.

He was no longer angry, he returned to Yu Yan's embrace again, exhausted all his sweet words, and tried his best to hold her in his hands.Yu Yan is actually very coaxing, probably because he has been left out for too long, and he can be happy for a long time by giving him a little sweetness, but he always likes to hide those emotions, clumsily, not at all well, at a glance You can see through.

Looking at him now, his acting skills are still very clumsy, and he pretends to be happy even though he can't laugh.When Yu Yan once received a bouquet of simple roses, his smile was brighter than the flowers in his hand.Now he got a better one, but there was no wave in those eyes, he was like the bunch of flowers that were about to wither eight years ago, exuding a breathless beauty.

Cheng Shen felt extremely uncomfortable, and he felt that he might not be able to coax Yu Yan well.

Yu Yan put the flowers on the coffee table in the living room, sat on the carpet and gently manipulated them with his hands. He pinched the petals, and after a while held the peeled stems, and lowered his head to smell the fragrance of the flowers.

Cheng Shen took a roll of medical tape and walked to the side, meeting Yu Yan's eyes.He stood there in a daze, stretched out a part of his arm and retracted it hesitantly: "I... bought it at the pharmacy, it is more breathable than plaster, and has no smell."

Yu Yan didn't speak, but unbuttoned the top two buttons of his pajamas, and exposed his neck to Cheng Shen.

Cheng Shen seemed to have received some kind of signal, and sat down without any hesitation.

In the early morning, he hurried back and forth to apply hot compresses to Yu Yan for half an hour, and now the marks were visible to the naked eye, but those teeth marks were bitten too hard, and scabs formed in the deep places.

Cheng Shen cut off a piece of skin-friendly adhesive tape, and carefully pasted it on Yu Yan's neck.They were very close, and Cheng Shen asked, "Do you only buy vases at the supermarket? What else do you want?"

It is rare for Yu Yan to make a request: "Vegetables and fruits, I want to eat salad."

Cheng Shen's brows and eyes stretched: "Okay, buy some more chicken breasts, and I'll make you chicken and fruit salad."

After 1 minute, it was posted, and Cheng Shen said: "You sit here, and I will get you clothes."

He seemed to have premeditated it, and with a little boyish impulse, he found two pullover sweaters from the closet that had been put aside for a long time.

After Yu Yan saw it, he was obviously surprised: "Wear this?"

The two clothes, one black and one white, are the simplest style. I have bought them for many years, but they are not cheap, at least they were very expensive at that time.

It was Valentine's Day one year after graduating from university. Cheng Shen promised Yu Yan that he would have a good time, and he took someone to eat hot pot after get off work.The appearance of Yu Yan pressing the calculator while looking at the menu, Cheng Shen will never forget it for many years. Every time he thinks about it, his heart aches, and he feels that he is very sorry for Yu Yan. Yu Yan lived a life without worrying about money.

Yu Yan wore a white sweater that night, and he was very gentle against the various atmospheres, like a feather scratching his heart, or like a cotton candy pulled out of silk.

Cheng Shen stared at him absent-mindedly all night, and with a shake of his hand, he dropped the fish ball into the spicy pot, and the flying oil splashed all over Yu Yan, and the man turned his back on him right then.

Later, he wanted to pay Yu Yan for everything he said, and he refused to buy it casually at the street stalls. Yu Yan was afraid that those low-quality wool would hurt people because of his delicate skin and tender flesh.Cheng Shen persuaded him for a long time, but Yu Yan refused. In the end, he dragged him into the shopping mall, but after entering, Yu Yan didn't cooperate, and threatened several times that if he didn't leave, he would break up with him.

Cheng Shen took a fancy to one and forced Yu Yan to try it for him. Several shop assistants surrounded him, but Yu Yan couldn't resist him, so he went in bravely, but after seeing the tag, he was almost frightened to death.When he came out, he found that Cheng Shen had also put it on, which was the same style and different color from his one. The clerk said it was a brother's outfit, but Yu Yan saw that Cheng Shen clearly meant that he wanted to wear a couple outfit with him.

He was so angry that he took off without looking in the mirror.After taking off his clothes and throwing them to the clerk, Yu Yan carried his heavy down jacket with one hand, slipped away from Cheng Shen with the other, and dragged him away in the same way without talking nonsense with him.

Yu Yan thought that this was the end of the matter, who knew that when he came home from get off work the next day, Cheng Shen said to buy some food and asked Yu Yan to go home and cook first.He waited until the rice crusts were all formed before Cheng Shen came back with two delicate paper boxes.

Yu Yan held the white one in his hand, and the expression on his face became very gentle in an instant.

He still remembered that night, he kicked and beat Cheng Shen out of the house and told him to return his clothes, but he didn't come back for a long time, and he forgot to take his mobile phone in the hurry. Yu Yan hurriedly went out to look for it, but found Cheng Shen fell asleep at the door.

He was so tired that he didn't stop working all day, but he woke up as soon as Yu Yan opened the door. The tall man jumped up and rubbed against Yu Yan, hugged him and said, "Yanyan, we haven't bought anything for a year." There are new clothes, I just want to buy one, the same as you wear."

Cheng Shen quickly changed into his clothes. These years he went to the gym regularly to exercise, and his figure was stronger than when he just graduated. Fortunately, the knitted sweater was loose and fit him well.

"Yanyan," he squatted in front of Yu Yan with a shy face, "I want to wear couple clothes with you."

Yu Yan's eyes moved to Cheng Shen's face inch by inch, and he couldn't help showing a bit of greed. He missed the past days of sharing joys and sorrows, but so many obstacles could only bind them tighter and tighter.

They worry about their livelihoods every day and worry about the company.They lived in a small room, kissed and sweated, and the TV in the rented house could only receive three channels.There is no heating in winter, so they can only hug each other to keep warm. In summer, there is no air conditioning, and they spread mats and lie on the ground.

They are all children who were abandoned by their families. During the Spring Festival, when couplets are posted, firecrackers are set off, and the family is reunited, they depend on each other for life.

On such a difficult day, no one said to give up. Everyone knew that the other party was only themselves, so they walked all the way and cuddled together.

At that time they were so in love, so brave.