The boy next door came out

Yanhe, I am Hokuriku

April 2019, 04 Qingming weather is cloudy

I hold the thought in my chest

It's the light that leads me forward

half the shadow behind me

Settle down my raging emotions

Fortunately, this morning was the last one, and many people had already returned home by noon.

Hokuriku didn't follow their school bus back, but only told the teacher who was traveling with him a few words.

He followed Yanhe and left.

Sheng Feiran also avoided the two of them for the past two days, so that's good, so as to avoid the embarrassment of meeting each other.

On the way back, Yanhe didn't speak much.

Although there is often a smile on his face, Hokuriku can tell from his eyebrows that something is on his mind.

But if he didn't tell, Hokuriku wouldn't ask either.

Along the way, Yan He was silent, and Bei Lu followed him in silence.

Yan He interjected a few words, and he followed suit.

Hokuriku never knew how to comfort people.

All the way to the entrance of the alley, Yanhe parked the car.

The two walked to the door of the house side by side, Yan He stopped, and said to Bei Lu, "Today I will go back to accompany grandma."

"Okay." Hokuriku wanted to reach out to hug him, but he took out his hand from his pocket and put it back.

The smelly brother shook his head and kept rubbing against Yan He's feet.

Yan He wanted to push it aside again, but Bei Lu leaned over and patted its head lightly.

It whined twice, and Yan He squatted down helplessly, stroking it along its back.

"Today is Qingming, although I only feel sad, but I still have to move forward."

Hokuriku lowered his head, his rhinitis was still not healed, and there was still a hint of desolation in his nasal voice.

During the Ching Ming Festival, it always takes a moment of rain to meet the occasion. Yesterday was fine weather, but today it started to rain in the early morning.

Beilu has been alone in the past few years, and every day like this, he seems to be more worried about himself.

No matter the mother, or the grandfather, or the father who has never met.

Hokuriku seldom went to sacrifice.

It's not that he is not sad, but he is used to hiding it.

The large half of the shadow formed by the sun behind him contained his raging emotions.

He also only returned to the small county where he and his mother lived for a while when he graduated from the college entrance examination.

What was born in his heart at that time was that many years later, who in this world would miss him.

Probably he has died of grief.

"Yeah!" Yanhe picked up his stinky brother and looked at the desolation hidden in Beilu's eyes.

Someday he's going to light it up.

"Go back quickly! The weather outside is not good." Yan He waited for Bei Lu to enter the door, and the iron door closed again with a bang.

He felt remorse in his heart.

His lonely figure also needs someone to accompany him, but he never speaks.

He has long been used to burying everything.

Yan He saw his parents' car at the entrance of the alley just now, and they should have returned in the morning.

It's just waiting for him.

Grandpa Yan He left very suddenly, fell asleep as soon as he fell asleep, and never woke up again.

For him, there is no pain, and death is parting without birth.

But for the living relatives, it is an endless regret not to leave a word.

Yan He sometimes wonders, does his grandfather have any wishes in the end?

Just thinking about it, and never having a chance to know.

How many partings in this world are so heartbreaking.

As soon as Beilu went up to the second floor, he heard Yanhe's father talking outside the yard.

And Yan Nian's soft voice.

After a while, these voices gradually went away, and Hokuriku finally walked to the window.

Open the window where he always peeps at Yanhe.

The light rain was still dripping on the window sills, and a lot of rust had appeared on the dilapidated windows. Smelling carefully, there was also the smell of old rust mixed with the rain.

The sweet-scented osmanthus tree in the yard, the new leaves urged the old leaves, and it was full of new vitality.

The smelly brother who always squatted in the nest under the tree also followed them.

For the first time, Beilu felt that he was really the only one left in this empty yard.

He looked towards the side of the alley near the avenue.

Even if Yan He's tall and straight figure was half covered by an umbrella, he could still see it at a glance.

He likes to walk on tiptoes, and his strides are long. Before the heel of the step is stable, the back foot can't wait to follow.

At this time, he deliberately slowed down and distanced himself from the people in front of him.

The tail of the stinky brother in his arms was still sticking out of the umbrella, and his fur was all messed up by the light rain.

As if feeling Hokuriku's eyes behind him, he turned around and looked at Hokuriku's house.

Sure enough, I saw the small half of Hokuriku's head sticking out, covered in a layer of fog by the drizzle.

Seeing him turning his head, Beilu gestured to him, telling him to follow them quickly.

Yan He also compared the same gestures with him, and compared the rain in the sky.

The general meaning is that it is raining outside, so you go back to the house quickly.

Yan Nian told Yan He to hurry up.

Yan He turned his head in response and quickened his pace.

But thinking carefully in his heart, Bei Lu always looked at his back behind him, but he didn't look back, how sad he felt.

Every time there is no response, it is his expectation for the next time.

again and again.

In the end he chose to leave his hometown.

Thinking about it this way, Yan He felt that he owed him a lot.

Probably owed him a lifetime.

Hokuriku waited for them to go far away before he changed into black clothes again and walked to the incense and candle shop across the alley.

Bought some burnt stuff.

He didn't know what to buy, so he listened to the proprietress.

I took a big bag back.

He squatted under a tree in the yard alone and dug a hole.

A fire was lit in the pit, and after a while the ashes were blowing with the wind.

Some fell on his black clothes, extremely dazzling.

He wanted to stand up and take pictures, but was choked by a puff of smoke.

Coughing violently, it took a while to calm down.

He stared at the burning flame with red eyes, and didn't know what to say.

Just meditate in silence alone until the fire turns into a pile of ashes.

He murmured.

I'm fine now!Don't read!

Yeah, he's fine now.

It is no longer a night alone, nor a day alone.

The night can also be lively, and the white night can also be quiet. This is probably a normal life.

Normal life after having Yanhe!

In the end, he actually remembered the advice that Grandpa Yan He had given him when he was still alive.

Take good care of my grandson, if you don't obey me, come back and tell me, I'll beat him up!

Hokuriku felt sour at the thought.

Grandpa Yanhe!sorry!I accidentally caught your grandson in my eyes.

There are very few people in this world who can catch my eyes, and even fewer can fall into my heart, but he is the only one, blindfolding my eyes and occupying my heart.

Please forgive me!

Thinking of this, he dumped everything in the bag into the pit and burned it to Grandpa Yanhe.

I hope that Grandpa Yanhe will not blame him in the spirit of heaven.

Yan He and the others didn't come back until night, Bei Lu listened to the movement next door, stood at the window and waited for Yan He to pass by the door.

Grandma Yan He's hunchbacked figure seemed to be getting older again.

Yan He's father supported her and paced slowly.

The stinky brother didn't bark, and only whimpered in Yan He's arms.

Even that little girl Yan Nian lowered her head and walked behind Yan He's mother.

Afraid that Yanhe would see him, Beilu hid behind the heavy curtains until they entered the yard.

When Yan He looked up to the second floor of Beilu's house, he only saw the shaking curtains.

By around ten o'clock in the evening, Hokuriku was already lying on the bed ready to fall asleep.

Habitually turned on the light.

In the yard, there was the sound of trees swaying and soft footsteps landing on the ground.

It didn't take long for the footsteps to go upstairs, and stood at the door of Hokuriku's room for a while before opening the door and coming in.

Hokuriku had already got up when he heard his voice, standing at the door waiting for him.

When Yanhe came, he thought that Beilu had already fallen asleep, but he didn't expect that he was still waiting for him.

In the dim light, a smile finally appeared on Yan He's face that hadn't smiled all day.

He slowly opened his arms towards Hokuriku, and Hokuriku slowly approached him.

She pressed her thin chest close to him.

Yan He didn't do anything, but hugged him tightly, wanting to give him a warm hug.

Hokuriku just quietly buried his head in his neck.

The endless darkness outside the window didn't seem to want to bother them, and it only fell lightly on the window sill, on the trees, on the street lamps, and on all the corners it could sweep.

Only it didn't fall on Hokuriku's heart.

The two of them were lying quietly under the quilt as before.

It's just that Beilu tried to lie on the edge of the bed at that time, but now he leans in Yanhe's arms.

"You used to say that you were not used to seeing life and death. I thought I could, but later I found out that I was just belittling myself."

Bei Lu listened to him quietly, only his breath echoed Yan He.

When he was young and ignorant, he didn't understand his misery, but when he really understood, he wished that he never understood!

"My grandfather hadn't seen his old comrade-in-arms for many years that day. He was happy to drink a few more glasses. When he came back, his face was full of excitement. I even joked to him, why is it that your grandson is so happy to marry a wife? He still clamored to fight Me, luckily I ran fast, but in the second half of the night he snored like thunder, and I still thought it was noisy, so I buried my head in the quilt and slept, and he didn't wake up the next morning."

Yan He's voice was choked up as he spoke, and there was a crying sound in his nasal cavity.

Bei Lu came out of his arms, took his head into his arms, pressed a kiss on the top of his head, and said softly, "No one blames you!"

Yan He gritted his teeth, said with trembling shoulders, "I was a sophomore at that time, if I studied hard, paid more attention to his past medical history, and paid more attention that night, he might still beat me up!"

After he finished speaking, he couldn't control himself anymore. He held these words in his heart for a long time, and never told anyone.

"Since then, I have devoted my whole life to studying. Not only have I finished my postgraduate studies, but I am also seriously preparing for my Ph.D. The counselor said that I have never seen such a student who regards death as home. Even if he persuades people to study medicine, the counselor still persuades me seriously. I originally planned to just hang around like this and get a diploma. Then Time is just angry at you for leaving without saying goodbye, and I want to cut off the inextricable ties with you as soon as possible."

The more Yan He said, the more angry he became, the hand he put on Bei Lu's waist pinched him.

"I'm sorry!" Beilu didn't know that he hated him so much at that time.

"I owe you what I owe, and I don't know if my whole life is enough to repay it."

Seeing him so serious, Yan He put his head on his beating heart.

whispered.

I owe you too!So you don't run away!