Hey, where is my knife?

"Come on, have another bite."

Li Weidu seemed to have worked very hard, but he still couldn't force it down. After putting a mouthful of porridge in for a long time, there was no trace of swallowing in his throat.

A face was originally thin, but now it even looked a little gray, and the walls of the same color as the hospital reflected it made people tremble.In the end, he gave up completely, frowned and shook his head apologetically.

"That's right, the porridge bought here is terrible. I'll go to Zuo Yan's house to cook for you later. How about cooking your favorite black rice porridge?"

As he spoke, he stood up and hastily picked up the dishes with one hand.

During this period, Li Weidu kept looking up at him with his black eyes fixed and quiet.Bathed in those eyes, Ji Kai's heart shrank a little bit.But there was still sticky porridge on his hands, so he could only smile in the end, and gently rubbed his cheek with the back of his hand.

"Look at you, you have lost a lot of weight all of a sudden. If others see it, they will think that I abuse you every day, right?"

"..."

"Hey, sleep a little longer when you're tired. Zhou Yi'an and the others are all outside, nothing will happen, huh?"

Li Weidu moved his body slowly, freeing up the side of the narrow hospital bed where the water was not hung: "Then you can come over too, it's a bit cold on the bed alone."

"Okay, I'll wash the lunch box and come back to accompany you."

After closing the door of the ward, he leaned against the door and let out a long breath.Thinking of the man's pale face, his heart ached, and he couldn't move his hand to press it, so he could only gather his mind and strode towards the bathroom.

But at the corner, he suddenly ran into a man with a bandage on his head.

"Great, you can already get out of bed."

In the past, Zhu Ling's mother often said that she took Zhu Ling to fortune-telling when she was a child. All the fortune-tellers said that the child was blessed and blessed by the gods. I'm afraid it's not entirely bullshit either.

It was just a word of greeting, and a gleam of light flashed in Zhu Ling's eyes.

But just before he was about to say something, a gust of cold wind blew through the window, shaking the glass slightly, Ji Kai's face seemed to have been scratched by the cold wind a few times, and the gaze cast on him also slowly moved away. A little bit sharp.

In the past, Ji Kai always felt that for everyone, all the warmth and happiness, setbacks and misfortunes experienced in life, whether the rare shining and luck, or wanting to erase the scars and troubles, will constitute his life. Part of "The One Who Lasts To Be".

Therefore, I have never been willing to obliterate any fragments of the "past", even if it is a wrong choice and the price paid for it, I think it is a past that should be respected.

But now, I don't think so anymore.

The "past" that he thought he could let go of, made his beloved so painful that he couldn't do anything about it. Such a terrible feeling came back again, and the whole person was overwhelmingly sad.In any case, he was already a little bit reluctant to let him suffer a little bit of grievance.

"Thank you for saving me that day. Thank you so much. But Zhu Ling, we... probably won't see each other again."

"..."

"Sorry, if one day you accidentally run into me on the street again, please don't look sideways and pretend you don't know me. Don't talk to me again, let alone call me 'Brother Kai', please. gone."

"It was Li who asked you to say that?" Zhu Ling slowly sneered, "This is too pretentious, why should he ask you so? Brother Kai, even if we are separated, I still hope you Can be happy! With such a person every day, I am exhausted, so what happiness is there?"

No, not tired, never felt tired a day.

Ji Kai shook his head slowly.But thinking about it carefully, there was no need to explain anything to Zhu Ling, since he couldn't possibly understand anyway.

"He didn't say anything, I wanted to do it myself. I don't want him to suffer any more, so... hope you can understand."

Even, it's not just a question of Zhu Lingcun's existence, Ji Kai thinks that from today onwards, we should always guard against self-examination——

The moment Li Weidu fell down without a sound in his arms, his heart was about to collapse, and he didn't want to try again in his life.

That person has always been extremely devout and devoted to everything in this relationship.

And that's all he can do.

During the long silence, Zhu Ling's eyes looked a little blank.Then he collected himself, like an ordinary adult, grabbed a handful of hair back, and the diamond earrings shone fiercely against the light.

"Brother Kai, actually, I still have a lot to say to you."

"There are a lot of things... I should have said it a long time ago, but I don't know what happened, and I didn't say it until the end."

He murmured, with an unnatural expression, and his words were somewhat confused, "Sometimes I think, if I hadn't pursued my dream of music at all, and hadn't entered the showbiz and embarked on such a path, we would have become how."

"If I just resigned myself to being a cashier boy in a restaurant, working hard to earn money, going home to sleep with you every day, playing the guitar and singing occasionally...would I be happier than I am now?"

"Don't even try to teach me, I can guess what you're going to know," he said, laughing a few times to himself.

"You will definitely say, 'It's useless to think about it now', yes, it's useless, I know it. I also know that what Sister Tong often scolds me is justified-in exchange for losing the most important you How can you not cherish your future and career?"

"The only thing I can hold in my hands now is my music, and I really should cherish it. Otherwise, I really have nothing."

"..."

"As for the words of apology, I think Brother Kai, you are already tired of hearing them. So I will...not say those words again. I will listen to you, and I will not disturb you or your lives in the future."

He just said that to himself, the smile on his face became more and more rigid, uglier than crying, and then reached a certain critical point, suddenly turned into a touch of self-mockery, and then raised his face, looking almost light Relaxed cynicism.

"That's... that's the only way to go."

"Then, give me a last hug as farewell."

"Don't, don't." Seeing him stretching out his hand, Ji Kai hastily stepped back half a step, using the lunch box as a shield, "I can't afford to hug you! Take care of yourself, goodbye."

"Really..." Zhu Ling underestimated a little dissatisfied, "The last one won't work, and he can't see it!"

For a moment, Ji Kai felt that he suddenly looked like a heartbroken old father, a stupid child who repeatedly stumbled and slammed into the south wall before his eyes, and he could hardly bear to look directly at him.

Not to mention buying a few oranges, if you don't see him at a glance, this brat will go under the railway tracks by himself again.

... I really don't know when he will be able to understand it thoroughly. This is not a matter of seeing or not seeing at all.

never mind.It is estimated that I will have to see the coffin several times without crying.Most likely, someone much more ruthless than himself will come and stab him a few times in the heart, causing him to fall off the cliff completely and never recover, so that he will have a little sobriety.But before that, I am afraid there is still a long, long way to go.

When will I be able to fully realize the enlightenment, probably the next "happiness" will not be far away.

……

Just come out to wash a lunch box, a total journey of less than 10 minutes, the whole journey is magical.

On the way here, I ran into Zhu Ling, went into the bathroom, and bumped into a man who occupied all the sinks and was crying shamelessly. Petting his dog's head.

"Uh, brother Kai?"

The beautiful young man raised his head, and it turned out to be Shen Qian, an acquaintance. Ji Kai once again looked at the man who was crying so much that his whole face was wrinkled and embarrassed. Well, it seems to be... Zhu Ling's younger brother Ning Zhen?

I've seen him once before on a plane.When the guy didn't cry until he collapsed, he was actually somewhat handsome, so I was a little impressed.

"What, why are you crying here?"

"Oh, he was doing some flowers and plants outside. His wife found the photo last night and packed his luggage and left him at the door overnight." Shen Qian made a request without mercy, and continued to pet the dog's head, " Forget it, Brother Ning, if you don’t go to the old one, you won’t come to the new one! Now you can have a new wife again, right?”

"New fart! I want my wife, only my wife is the best in the whole world, ohhhhhhh..."

"No, you used to always say that he is the best and the most virtuous. If he is really good, what do you mess with every day?"

"I, it's not that my career is not going well and I'm in a bad mood, woo woo woo woo..."

Shen Qian: "So is it useful for you to cry here? Why don't you hurry back and cry in front of him, pleading guilty and begging for mercy by the way?"

"Oh...it's too late, I can't go back, he won't forgive me!"

"Maybe it won't happen, but who knows? Go back and beg for forgiveness crazily before the other person's heart is cold. Show all your sincerity, house, car, savings, everything you have, everything you can give him Give it all to him, although it may not be very useful, give it a try anyway, or do you want to be like Zhu Ling from the beginning to the end? It’s been more than a year and you haven’t seen enough jokes or haven’t learned the lessons?”

Ning Zhen wiped his face, he was stunned and dumbfounded, Shen Qian kicked his ass again.As if he suddenly realized something, he rushed over the stairs.

Shen Qian: "Oh, what kind of friends does anyone have? The degree of mental retardation is really beyond blue."

"I heard...you were a great help that day, thank you."

Ji Kai washed the lunch box, and out of politeness, exchanged a few words with the people next to him. In his opinion, although he had the experience of "sleeping in the same bed" for one night, he was actually not familiar with him. According to Zhou Yi'an's description, this person came forward to deceive the kidnappers that day. The drama is really very loyal.

Shen Qian didn't speak, just leaned against the tiles and smiled at him with his hands behind his back.

Ji Kai was a little puzzled.

"It's okay, you wash it. I just take a look, after all, I really like you... the lunch box in my hand."

"Oh," said Zuo Yan's, "my friend bought this when he was studying in the United States, and it may not be available here."

Shen Qian nodded: "Unique, even if you want to know."

Just as he left the bathroom with his lunch box, he bumped into Li Weidu's attending doctor head-on: "Family, I'm looking for you! The patient just had a severe headache, dizziness, and vomiting. It is recommended to take him for a fundus examination, and do it again if necessary." MRI of the head and neck."