Zi Feiyu

Woman sitting in front of laptop with glaring eyes.The computer desktop is simple and clean, with a few common icons added to the wallpaper.And the wallpaper is a bloody picture composed of two women, one old and one young - the young woman sits on the old woman, her eyes are fierce, with a bloody knife in one hand, and the other hand stroking the old woman's face.There was a hole in the heart of the old woman, and she was all red, as if a stench was flowing out of the computer screen, but the expression on her face was smiling, gentle, kind, and caring... I am for your good.

The woman watched, her facial features crowded together.She was sad, she was aggrieved, she didn't understand, she wished she could pull out the young woman in the wallpaper, pick out two ears of melon seeds, and then scolded: "What's the matter with you, are you crazy? Are you crazy? I'm your mother Ah, the mother who gave birth to you and raised you. Why do you hate me so much? Why do you insist on me dying? Why do you insist on killing me with your own hands? Tell me, tell me quickly..."

It's a pity that she has no chance. A week ago, her daughter jumped off the building.

The old woman was not reconciled, she felt angry, and couldn't get up or down.There was only one child in the family, and she was still a daughter. She couldn't carry on the family line, couldn't continue the incense, and couldn't do anything. In the end, she died, turning into a pile of ashes.The body of the person who jumped off the building was nothing to look at. My father was decisive and burned it.The mother held the urn and scolded the father, scolded him for being heartless, and scolded him for being cruel.

The father didn't say anything, his daughter, he was distressed.The daughter had discussed the topic of death with her father during her lifetime, at the funeral of her father's sister-in-law at the beginning of the year.

There are not many relatives on my father's side, and they seldom move around, so after my father's father died, there were only two brothers left.Fortunately, the relationship is good.The father's elder brother has a son who is two years older than his daughter, and the relationship between cousins ​​is also good.But the sister-in-law relationship is not good.So my siblings didn't go to my sister-in-law's funeral, and relatives said she didn't care.When my sister-in-law was alive and kicking, the two of them quarreled over trivial matters and even beat each other.At that time, they had just been married, and they were already like this. Later, the couple saved some money to buy a house and moved out, but the knot had already been tied, and it was a particularly dead knot.The living are unwilling to untie it, and the dead cannot untie it.

The daughter asked her father: "Didn't the old man always say that if you don't bring your life, you don't take it with you when you die? Why do you need to bury it? Wouldn't it be better to have a handful of ashes?"

Only the father heard what the daughter said. If others heard it, they would definitely be scolded and taught a lesson.The father looked at the depressed daughter and patted her on the shoulder: "We'll go back after lunch. Don't think too much. What the old man says may not be right."

"Dad, if I die, I'll be cremated."

Father wanted to cry a little.When his father died, he cried very sadly; when his sister-in-law passed away, he tried to squeeze some tears, but couldn't; daughter, his daughter's words made him feel distressed.He didn't know why his daughter was like this all of a sudden.

My daughter worked for a year after graduating from university, but then suddenly quit her job and stayed at home.Although parents often talk about "pay more attention to your body, don't be too tired, if you don't like doing it, go home, and your parents will take care of you", but if the child really doesn't do anything and is a useless person at home, the parents will I began to worry about how to spend so much money raising a useless waste.

The daughter really turned herself into a waste at home.She doesn't go out all day, doesn't talk, is unkempt, has dull eyes, eats at all times, stays up all day, talking to herself, and talking.

The father was worried about his daughter's physical condition, so he took her to the hospital for an examination, but nothing was found.But he was still worried, and introduced the job to him again, but he quit within a few days.The father can't help it, but the mother doesn't pay attention.Like a matchmaker, the mother introduced a young man to her daughter on a blind date. The daughter's dead face scared all the men away.

Later, I didn't know what kind of ideological work the mother had done for her daughter. The daughter agreed to get along with a young man to see.It was also at the beginning of the year, two days before the funeral.

The father refused to let his daughter go to his sister-in-law's funeral, but the daughter refused to listen and went instead.The father had no choice but to pay attention to his daughter all the time, because the daughter was in a bad state, in a bad mood, and in everything. She was sick and decadent, as if being alive was a particularly uncomfortable thing.

In fact, the father also guessed that his daughter might suffer from the depression mentioned in the book.He didn't know if it was a disease, and he didn't know how it came about. It might have been suppressed at home for a long time, or he didn't know the reason.He doesn't know how to treat this disease, he has a job, and he is quite busy at this age, but he knows that depression will kill people, so he tries to spend time with his daughter as much as possible.The book says that the company of family members is very important for treating depression patients, and he also firmly believes that his daughter's depression is caused by the family. If you care more, you will be fine soon. If you have more friends, you will be fine soon. .

But the daughter said such words at the funeral.My daughter's illness is not good.

The daughter got along with the young man for a month, and after the new year and the first month, there was no contact.The daughter said nothing, and the young man said it was boring.

My mother didn't work, and I was a housewife.The father told his mother that his daughter might suffer from depression, and the mother said that she would take good care of her daughter.

In fact, there is not only one knot in the mother's heart, but also a knot that her daughter gave her many years ago-a knot that is more unbearable than a dead knot but wants to be untied.She tried to forget, and let her daughter forget too.She doesn't want to mention it, don't want to think about it, because it's all in the past, everything is in the past.

There was a sound from the black screen of the computer.The trembling hand of the mother's heart stretched out to the mouse, and with a light tap, the pictures of the two women were highlighted by her, and at the same time, the email flashing in the lower right corner fell into her eyes.

I don't know who sent the email, no sender, no recipient, only one sentence - I should have died ten years ago.

Ten years ago...

Ten years ago, my daughter was 13 years old. The 13-year-old daughter cried and told her mother that she wanted to die. The mother slapped her daughter and ordered her not to say death in front of her. She was not allowed to die. She must live and live well.

This matter was buried in the hearts of the mother and daughter for ten years, but the father did not know it.

The 13-year-old daughter is slim, delicate and cute.At an ignorant age, with an increasingly alluring body, the head teacher has fallen in love with him by accident, and he is obsessed.And more than once.

The class teacher is not very old, the one who teaches Chinese wears a pair of glasses and is gentle.He never had a girlfriend from his student days to his teaching days. No one knew the reason, and he always looked like a gardener who dedicated his life to his career.How could there be so many hardworking gardeners in this era, not to mention that he was young, and his desire for pheromone eruption was devouring him bit by bit.

My daughter is the representative of the Chinese class. Every time she enters and leaves the head teacher's office, she will be stripped naked by the head teacher with her eyes. Later, she couldn't help it, and she really stripped her naked.

Gardeners love bees and butterflies the most. They are cute and attractive on the outside, moist and sweet on the inside, so the gardener cast a net to catch them and keep them for himself.

The head teacher was also afraid at first, afraid that the parents of the students would sue him, but the parents of the students did not sue him.He didn't know whether it was the effect of his own sweet talk or the result of intimidating the students. In short, he became more presumptuous when no one told him.But he was very careful, he only caught a small butterfly.

The daughter was very scared. At first she didn’t dare to tell her mother, but she didn’t know what to do later. She heard that she would have a baby, she heard that she would get sick, and she heard many things that frightened her. She cried and told Mother she wanted to die.

Mother slapped her.The daughter covered her face and cried and told her mother what the class teacher had done to her. She didn't dare to say more, and only said it once.

The mother hugged her daughter, cried and comforted her: "Don't be afraid, Mom is here, we will transfer schools tomorrow."

The daughter cried harder.

The mother continued to comfort: "You are not allowed to tell this matter, and no one is allowed to tell it. It is related to a woman's chastity. It is not good for you to tell it. Do you know?"

The daughter was almost choking from crying.

The mother held her daughter's face in both hands, and ordered: "Listen up, forget about it, pretend nothing happened, you are still you, nothing happened. Also, don't mention death in front of me again." Words. You are my daughter, you are not allowed to die, you have to live, you must live well. Do you hear me?"

The daughter trembled all over, looking at her mother's face trembling.

Mother trembled as she read the mail.Did the email that popped up suddenly come from my daughter?She said she wanted to die, didn't she die?The death that had tortured her for ten years leaped down, really dead.Why send an email to tell yourself when you're already dead?

The mother was really puzzled and got up to check in her daughter's room.The bed, the wardrobe, the desk, the laptop... nothing has changed, what it was when my daughter left is what it is now.It is said that people will come back to life seven days after death, is it because my daughter came back to see me?

Thinking of this, her hands trembled even more. She didn't know what to do. She missed her daughter, but was afraid. She was obviously her own daughter, so why should she be afraid?She couldn't figure it out, really couldn't figure it out.

She was about to collapse, and was forced to collapse by herself. She kept turning in circles and scratching at her hair.But the daughter really came to see her.There are so many daughters, daughters who are false and real, but every daughter holds a sharp knife and looks at him fiercely.

The mother was horrified: "Why do you do this to me? I am your mother, your real mother."

The daughter's eyes suddenly became cute: "Mom, I'm back, I miss you very much."

The mother shed tears and reached forward: "Mom misses you too. Mom misses you, my daughter."

The daughter approached and hugged her mother: "Then mother, come and accompany me, I am alone... afraid."

Mother nodded: "Okay, Mom will accompany..."

Before the mother finished speaking, the daughter held up a sharp knife and stabbed her in the back. In an instant, red blood erupted, but there was nothing but a void.

The mother woke up from the pain, and the mad woman in the mirror on the wall was laughing at herself.The daughter was hallucinating, but the words on the mail jumped into her body one by one, rubbing and biting crazily as if pulling her nerves.She covered her heart, and there was also a deep, deep pain in her heart that had been pierced by a sharp knife.

She cares so much about her daughter, loves her daughter so much, and does everything for her daughter. Why is she the one who doesn't want to let her daughter go after her death, and not the mad head teacher?She pointed to the crazy woman on the wall, wanting an answer.

The father cooks dinner in the kitchen, there are only two people in the family, and the daughter's funeral is very simple, one jar of ashes, one meal, and it's gone.The daughter is gone, and the funeral is simply gone.The two were silent in the house where the three originally lived, and their hearts were ashamed.

The mother came out of her daughter's room, and the black and white photo of her daughter on the coffin altar smiled at her. Outside the window, a Xia Chan lay somewhere, squeaking endlessly.Mother stroked the black and white photo and smiled back, her voice hoarse: "What's for dinner?"

The father turned his head when he heard his mother's voice. This was the first time in a few days that his wife took the initiative to speak to him, "I bought a grass carp, what do you think should I do it? Braised in brown sauce or steamed?"

The mother hugged the black and white photo: "Let's boil fish, my daughter loves it, and I love it too."

Father bowed his head, closed his eyes, and responded.

The mother looked back at her father, the man she chose to entrust her life to when she was young, the man she loved, and wish him all the best.The father didn't look back, a tear hung from the corner of his eye, the tear that flowed from his wife's words.He lowered his head, concentrating on cooking this fish, the boiled fish that the family of three love to eat.

Mother put the photos away, opened the door lightly and left, and went upstairs. On the 23rd floor, at the same location, seven days apart, I will accompany you.Mother laughed, this tone... finally smooth.

The chubby kitten, white with a little light yellow fur, squatted beside the corpse, looked at the boy in white not far away and said, "Actually, it doesn't have to die."

Ye Qiao looked up at the window on the thirteenth floor, with a tangled expression: "I don't know."

The kitten walked towards Ye Qiao leisurely: "You want to save her, right?"

Ye Qiao frowned.

The kitten jumped on Ye Qiao's shoulder: "You are stubborn."

Ye Qiao patted the cat's head: "It's so heavy, get down."

The kitten clasped even tighter: "Don't talk nonsense, let's go, there will be too many people later, trouble."