drug

After ticking the itinerary setting, from the beginning as a task and burden, to the end close to entertainment and relaxation, how much his mood has changed, he can't explain it himself.Except for some things that were too far away and made mistakes in time planning, he basically finished them all, with red ticks all over the article.

Turning to the back, the following content almost made Feng Yiyuan's heart skip a beat.This article is all about the things that Xin Qi thinks he has done to him, from as small as "causing him to miss the qualification for the basketball game" to "making him addicted to drugs and sent to a drug rehabilitation center", there are no less than [-] items.

"You..." Feng Yiyuan swallowed, and took a long time to organize his words, "Can't you keep something else in your mind? What's the use of thinking about these every day? Are you going to make yourself heinous?"

Xin Qi looked away and didn't answer his words.That was probably the page he didn't want the other party to read. Every time he found the results of these "mistakes" under the guidance, and after weighing the severity, he found that it was a trivial matter, so he crossed out that line and at the same time untied a Knot.

In the end, there were still five remaining, and he couldn't get rid of them no matter what.Feng Yiyuan suddenly picked up a pen from the coffee table, and impatiently crossed out those few lines: "Okay, forget about these things quickly, clear your mind, format, do you understand?" ?”

He didn't seem to think it was enough, so he simply pulled the paper out into a ball, and finally threw it into the paper shredder to shred it completely.Xin Qi stared at the scraps of paper that could no longer distinguish their original appearance, and was taken aback, a cloud of haze in his heart completely dissipated.

"Don't tell me, it's because of these things that you don't want to sleep with me? Because of guilt, 'I feel sorry for him, not worthy of him'?" - Someone once said in the consultation record.

"Yes."

"Because of these things, you insisted on asking me for three months, rushing back and forth to the hospital?"

"……Yes."

Feng Yiyuan looked at him with complicated expressions, not knowing what to pick up.It is recorded in the medical records that Xinqi had done a similar consultation five years ago, and the situation at that time was even worse than it is now.Thinking about it, he was under a lot of pressure at that time, and he was in a car accident and couldn't get out of bed for half a year. Under the successive blows, there might not be many others who could last longer than him.

He didn't dare to say anything to hurt him anymore, thinking of the last time Xin Qi seemed to want to confide in himself, but was choked back by his words, and never mentioned it again.I thought that my indifference would make him let go, but it backfired and made him sink deeper.In the end, I had to sigh softly: "You... remember to tell me if there is anything in the future, I will listen carefully and try my best to understand you."

Xin Qi was startled slightly, and then his eyes softened: "Thank you."

Feng Yiyuan held his hand, raised his head and asked, "Then are you really well now?" I always felt that the medical certificate was not particularly credible.

"I can't get to the bottom of this kind of thing. I think it's enough to achieve my goal. Good and bad are just for outsiders to see. It doesn't mean anything to me."

Feng Yiyuan frowned to show that he didn't understand.

The curvature of the corners of the lips deepened, and Xin Qi rubbed the other party's hair: "Actually, I wasn't fully healed two hours ago, but now I feel much happier."

It's as if the willows are dark and the flowers are bright when the mountains and rivers are restored, and the sky suddenly appears outside the deep twists and turns.

"Let me just believe you." Thousands of words turned into these four words.

Xin Qi chuckled, and said: "I've finished explaining my affairs, shouldn't you also talk about why you came home suddenly today?"

Feng Yiyuan didn't answer immediately, but stretched out his arms to hug him: "I now roughly understand what you mean by 'air'."

"Ok?"

He briefly recounted the article he read: "I thought of you at the time, and I just called to make sure you were okay, but who would have thought that you would not answer."

Xinqi snapped his fingers: "There will be no next time, because it is the last consultation, and I don't want to be disturbed."

Feng Yiyuan nodded, and hugged him for a while, pressing his face against his belly, sniffing the scent of shower gel on his body.It took a while to realize that the other party had been standing, so he hurriedly pulled him to sit beside him.

"Yiyuan," Xin Qi hesitated suddenly, crossing his fingers, "I have something to tell you right now."

"what's up?"

"Recently... it seems like I'm thinking about heroin more and more. Do you have any way to relieve it?"

51

When the eyes met again, Feng Yiyuan's eyes were full of astonishment, and at the same time, a certain stone sank in his heart, arousing some regret: "How much do you think? Are you feeling unwell?"

"That's not true, it's just an itchy heart."

Feng Yiyuan lowered his eyes, two creases formed between his brows.He suddenly realized that Xin Qi is not a person who has no desires and desires. The euphoria brought by heroin can temporarily offset the depression caused by depression. It is no wonder that he has no resistance.However, the pain of withdrawal will aggravate the condition again. He suspects that the disease that had been hidden for many years reappeared when he believed in quitting methadone.

If he was allowed to touch it again, the consequences would be unimaginable.

"Did you ask the doctor? What did he say?"

"He said that there is no good way, but I can only restrain myself. Let me do other things to divert my attention and relax more. I did it, but the effect was not obvious."

Feng Yiyuan thought for a long time before saying: "If you just want to seek pleasure...maybe you can try other methods."

"Are you trying to say let me sleep with you?"

He instantly became embarrassed. He was seriously proposing this idea, but when he said it, he became nonsensical, as if he was so hungry.Cough lightly: "No, don't get me wrong, I'm talking about it from a scientific point of view, isn't it because of that much... dopamine that people feel pleasure? There will be drugs, as well as sex, and going out for a run. , it’s a pity you can’t run away.”

Xinqi raised his eyebrows: "Can that be the same?"

"Uh... that's probably not right, but it's a little bit."

"Try?"

"what?"

Feng Yiyuan felt that he was more frightened this day than he had been in the past 26 years, so he couldn't help opening his eyes: "What did you say?"

"I said try it tonight." Xinqi raised his legs and picked up a novel, "Let's cook, I want to eat pasta tonight."

"Oh……"

After the other party left, he touched his mobile phone and switched the mode back to sound.

Feng Yiyuan's mind was full of someone's "try tonight", he was absent-minded while cooking, and almost cut his own hand.Xin said that he really said that wind is rain, so he just mentioned it casually, and didn't expect him to agree.

Quietly turned his head and took a peek, and found that he was looking at something with his mobile phone, and the corner of his mouth was always smiling.She slid her fingers a few times, but she still gently covered her lips.

He seems to be in a really good mood today. Although it is almost impossible for something like depression to be completely cured, as long as he can be happy, it will already be a qualitative leap.

"Laughing is really fucking lethal." Feng Yiyuan murmured in a low voice, "Can you smile at me more from now on?"

"Yiyuan." Xin Qi suddenly walked up to him with his mobile phone, so frightened that he quickly shut up, thinking that he had overheard what he was talking to himself just now.As a result, the other party raised the mobile phone in front of him: "I'll show you a picture."

He lifted it too close, Feng Yiyuan shrank his neck back.That photo was taken from a certain album. There are two children in it, one is one or two years old, and the other is about one month old.In the snapped photos, the parents are changing the diapers for their newborn child, the child is naked and the penis is exposed.The older children watched while smacking their fingers.

Feng Yiyuan was taken aback for a moment, with an inexplicable bad feeling: "Who is this?"

"You, you and your sister."

"... Where the hell did you get such a thing?!"

Xin Qi laughed again: "A few days ago, I cleaned up the house and found a photo album. It seems that I asked for it from Uncle Feng before. It is full of photos of you when you were young." Swiping his finger to the right, "And you are wearing crotch pants of……"

"All right, all right, all right," Feng Yiyuan elbowed him away, "Where's the photo album?"

"That's a limited collector's edition, so of course I can't tell you where it's hidden."

Seeing through Xiao Jiujiu, Feng Yiyuan was instantly deflated.Unable to hold back, he glanced at the phone screen again. The little boy was running crookedly around the house, smiling like a fool.

He remembered the pattern of the wooden floor in the photo clearly, it was definitely his home.It's a pity that I flipped through a few more photos, and I didn't see my parents showing up, only occasionally an adult's hands or feet were seen in the mirror.Suppressing the sadness in his heart, he didn't dare to show it on the bright side, he rolled his eyes at Xin Qi: "If you have a crush on me, just tell me, and you will secretly collect my photos every day."

"I have a crush on you," Xin Qi suddenly suppressed his smile, and his expression became very serious, "It's been 12 years."

Feng Yiyuan was stunned in place, bowed his head dodgingly for a while: "If you say it, it won't be called secret love."

"That's Minglian."

"Twelve years... you bent really early."

"Only bend to you."

Feng Yiyuan shook his hands, and the roots of his ears started to turn red. He interrupted, "Who is your psychiatrist? Give me his contact information and I can talk to him. Why do you still have love words when you see a doctor?"

Xin Qi didn't answer his words, but stretched out his hand to touch his face, and at the same time moved his upper lip.Feng Yiyuan didn't react to this sudden kiss, he always thought that the other party would not take the initiative to kiss him.

This time it wasn't a prank, nor was it a vengeful bite, but a real lingering kiss.He didn't dare to say how well he believed in Qi's kissing skills, at least he made his head so hot that he almost threw himself on the bed right now.

My stomach growled untimely.

"cough……"

I don't know who made the light cough, and the two separated with embarrassment on their faces. Xin Qi took the broccoli on the chopping board and put it under the faucet: "Eat first."