fatal attraction

It's still hot in August, and tomorrow is Qixi Festival, but there are still many men and women in the town, who play sand painting, make handmade soap in small shops, and a few Kongming lanterns above their heads, trembling upwards.

Kong Yitang was still lying on the dashboard, and Ying Zhao still kept the posture of circling her.

It's not hot at all, and the mountain breeze blows cool.

"The planetary cup I gave you?"

Ying Zhao kicked the foot brake, the car tilted, and finally stopped firmly.

Kong Yitang didn't turn his head, and hummed, "It's exactly the same as this one, and it's hard to get it now. With this kind of packaging, it feels like that kind of company has gone bankrupt, right?"

There are many companies that take the Star Cup, and Kong Yitang has bought many kinds, each of which costs several dollars, which is incomparable with the small, crudely made thing that Ying Zhao stuffed into her hands back then.

Junk food is also divided into three or six or nine.

In the end, Chai Ying asked her boyfriend who worked as a part-time snack shop on Taobao to find it for a long time before buying it.

Eat a few things if you have nothing to do, it seems to be back at that time, she was recuperating at home because of her leg injury, the bungalow rented by her mother was not big, the alley was outside the window, the bed was by the window, and the children could be seen rattling while sitting Go noisily.

She didn't watch TV either, and kept her textbooks at hand. She placed two planetary cups on the window sill, and after reading them for several days, she took one down, tore it open, and carefully licked it.

The body still remembers that feeling, the feeling of being enveloped by warmth, it was too cold and warm like a stove, her god descended from the sky, broke through the void of cold and pain, and carried her out of the abyss.

That embrace is sweet.

chocolate flavor.

The poor-quality chocolate sauce is wrapped in small round biscuits, and the taste is still the same after swallowing for a long time.

The sweetness spreads along the esophagus to the whole body, and every cell is expressing the desire for that kind of warmth.

At that time she didn't know that she was finished, only that she wanted to be close to that person.

After a while, she was able to stand up again, stumbled and walked, and witnessed that the intimacy turned into possession, and the sweetness not only did not disappear, but became more and more arrogant.

Up to now, the cancer is at an advanced stage, and only by possessing Ying Zhao for life can he die more slowly.

"Hmm..." She nodded, Ying Zhao couldn't see her face, she bit her lip, and shouted small round biscuits in her mouth, the heat was so high that the biscuits almost melted, she was still dead Biting his lip, with tears in his eyes, they fell slowly in the vibration frequency of vocal cords, moistened his lips, the bitterness and sweetness in his mouth mixed together and turned into a mixed taste, with uneasy sincerity, "The one with my broken leg One year, in that hospital?... just making tofu, no, no, also making breakfast steamed buns, that street where many, many people lined up in that clinic.”

She spoke very slowly, even though she was already trying very hard to adjust her emotions, sniffing her nose was a conditioned reflex, as uncontrollable as tears falling down.

Ying Zhao stepped on the ground with one leg, and stepped on the pedal with the other leg, touching Kong Yitang's leg. She leaned over and said, "Yitang, turn around."

She spoke softly, like a feather, and a little bewitching, Kong Yitang turned his head blankly, and then turned back quickly.

In that instant, Ying Zhao saw the tears on the other's cheek.

She didn't force it, and leaned her chin on Kong Yitang's shoulder, "That health center is still a small clinic..."

Kong Yitang was still licking the planet cup, saying intermittently: "I... I know you don't remember."

In fact, she didn't want the other party to remember, but did she really not want the other party not to remember?

No, this kind of emotion is very complicated. On the one hand, I feel ashamed to be seen in such an embarrassing scene, and on the other hand, I feel that it is not good to hide it. This is the first time they have an intersection.

It seemed that the wound she had covered for many years was torn open, and the scar was still there. She was ashamed to face it, but she wanted to speak again, which became an opportunity.

"Which alley?"

When Ying Zhao spoke, Kong Yitang could feel the exhalation of the other party's breath on the side of his neck.

"Just, just turn left at the downhill side of the junior high school, the one where the shabu-shabu shop is. It should be, the gap between the shabu-shabu and, and a lacquerware seller is not an alley..."

She spoke softly, as if thinking.

Ying Zhao didn't speak either.

Her memory is not bad, but it doesn't mean that she remembers everything. What's more, the period when Kong Yitang was in junior high school was the most busy period in her life. Send it hundreds of times, and sometimes go to a further construction site. There are many types of ecology in a place.

Humanistic plants and creatures... There are often photographers to take pictures of these parasitic characters at the bottom of society, or the dirtier the corners and corners.

Say it's sentimental.

It was many years later that she understood this kind of feeling. Through the hazy filter of memories, it seems that the years are quiet and beautiful.

But the gangsters fight on the street every three days. The owner of the food stall was a gangster in the early years, with tattoos all over his body. The little girl in high school carried a schoolbag after school but went to a dirty place with dirty equipment. Sex disks are sold in the corner, there are also robberies, and even rape.

It's hard to imagine that this is a corner of a big city. Everyone abides by the rules of not hindering the police. Anything that can be solved with money can be solved with money, even people are killed.

At the entrance of the alley, there was a little girl who was pregnant at a young age. She dared not tell her parents that she had a drug abortion and died in the end.

Parents kept silent, as a shame.

But don't ask why it is so.

too messy.

Even though she grew up in that place and her home was there, she never thought it was beautiful. It is polite to show the good side, but the bad side is inevitable, so she was afraid that it would be unsafe for Qiao Hanyin to go home alone. I pick it up every day. If I can’t go by myself, I have to ask Xiao Wenqi or other friends.

She and Xiao Wenqi grew up in that area. As far as everyone is concerned, they have also been trained since childhood. Boys may not be able to fight well. Fighting is fine. If you really want to fight, Xiao Wenqi is much more gangster than her, so she is not afraid. .

But when outsiders flock, there are always some who don't follow the rules.

Occasionally, if something happens, I will help if I can, but these are trivial things in a busy life, and there is nothing worth remembering at all.

As soon as Kong Yitang spoke, she had already tried her best to remember.

The health center is not an alley, behind the restaurant...

Is it the back kitchen?

The tip of her nose smelled like Kong Yitang, with a hint of chocolate mixed in. She sometimes suspected that the other party had several bottles of perfume with this smell, but this was unlikely.

Packing things in the other party's house can also pack a few planetary cup packaging, she didn't take it seriously, she didn't expect it to be related to herself.

About ten years ago?

Hospital?

The number of times she's been to that kind of place can be counted on the fingers.

She frowned, listening to her breathing, Kong Yitang stretched out his hand to pinch Ying Zhao's fingers, "If you can't remember it, forget it."

She said it very generously, but Ying Zhao really couldn't remember it, and she began to feel disappointed again.

But it's been too long, and it's okay to not remember.

Ying Zhao didn't speak, and after a few minutes, she suddenly raised her head, "There's a new dress, is it for you?"

Most of her past memories are fragmentary. Just now, she suddenly remembered that Qiao Hanyin had a particularly fierce fight with her, because of new clothes or new skirts? ...It should be a skirt, plaid?Right... She bought too many things for Qiao Hanyin, this is a very instinctive memory, thinking of the skirt suddenly being strung together.

The memory is still vague, only a few fragments.

She was driving a car instead of riding a bike. She had forgotten why it was so grand that day, but when she passed by that street, she glanced at it naturally and saw a small ball protruding from the snow-covered ground. Trembling hands.

Ah, just remembered.

I was probably a little scared, and I was startled by Xiao Wenqi's ghost story the day before, but I was scared and curious at the same time.

It turned out to be a little girl.

How can you forget?

It’s obviously a special memory, and it’s not like I haven’t helped my little girl before. Many children are precocious, and some precociously focus on dating. They fight with those dubious gangsters because of quarrels, or they are at home. Embarrassed by the incident, he squatted in front of the hotel in a daze.

The one who stopped at a glance that day was the most pitiful looking of all the bullied people she had ever seen.

Heavy snow, blood stains, empty eyes, and hands still trying to reach out.

They all looked like they were dying.

The coat was soaked in snow and melted away, and it was terribly cold to the touch. The school uniform inside was torn apart, bruised and purple, which made people feel distressed at first glance.

Feel angry again.

The child didn't know whether it was from the cold or the pain, and he couldn't speak. His eyes were closed in her arms, and his breath was very weak. When she was sent to the health center, she was scolded by the attending doctor.

The aunt is a general practitioner, quite bloated, she looks like a quack doctor, but she is very kind, and Ying Zhao can't help, so she handed the new clothes in the bag to the nurse and waited outside.

She was too focused and didn't answer the phone. By the time she found out, Qiao Hanyin had already made hundreds of calls.

She went in and looked inside, the little girl woke up, looking sullen, saw her take a look, Ying Zhao took out a planetary cup from his pocket and smiled at her while answering the phone, it seems so?

The planetary cup... the part-time front desk gave it to her at the checkout. It was originally a few dimes less as a substitute, but I didn't know how to give it to her that day.

After that... there will be no more.

She didn't bother to ask the attending doctor, she just met by chance, so she didn't have anything to ask.

Year after year, I have forgotten it, and the memory fragments are picked up again, and I can't recall the specific state of mind I had at the beginning.

Kong Yitang in the fragment, who is one size smaller, is sickly.

Was that what happened then?

She closed her eyes, and finally sighed.

Kong Yitang didn't expect that she would still remember it, "It's a set...the clothes are baby-faced shirts, and the skirt is a long caramel-colored plaid skirt."

It was really nice to watch at that time.

It was for Qiao Hanyin, if she really got through it, she would walk away arrogantly in school.

But I wear it, and it doesn't look good.

She doesn't have the same pitch as Qiao Han, nor does she have a figure. Wearing such girly clothes, there is no youth at all, and she is ugly.

"Did you throw it away?"

Ying Zhao thought of that dress, so she told a friend in advance to order it from a clothing store, and the materials were all the best, because Qiao Hanyin was clamoring for a new dress.

It took one-third of the wages.

Now think about giving it to Kong Yitang.

"No, leave it at home."

Press the bottom of the box, sometimes I can't help but want to wear it.

In fact, I only wore it once, once in that year.

Later, I moved from the suburbs to the city center, lived in high-rise buildings, wore famous brands, and didn’t have to bring anything else, so I had to bring this as well.

It's too precious.

My priceless treasure.

"Go back, show me?"

Ying Zhao broke Kong Yitang's face, leaned over by himself, and saw that her face was full of tears, the corner of her mouth was still stained with chocolate sauce, and she was holding an unfinished part in her hand pressed on the dashboard. Ying Zhao's surprise attack I was startled, but I didn't hold it, and fell to the ground.

"Ah good."

"Wear it for me?"

Ying Zhao continued, she reached out to wipe Kong Yitang's tears that were about to fall again, and said in a low voice, "Why did I forget?"

"Wear it?...OK."

Kong Yitang lowered his eyes, but Ying Zhao pinched her face, unable to turn away at all.

"I asked the doctor, and she said your name is Zhao'er."

But she was very bored at that time, and knowing that she had a broken leg, it would be difficult to recover completely. The doctor said that the surname should be Ying, but his tone was not very sure.

Zhaoer.

What Zhao?

Ying Zhao?

Later, when she went to school, she "inadvertently" chatted with the girl in Qiao Hanyin's class, and "inadvertently" mentioned the other party's situation.

Oh, her name is Ying Zhao.

It's really Ying Zhao.

But I can't roll my tongue, it's really annoying.

Kong Yitang's speech is not very Beijing-style, and it shows that her son's accent is not very natural. It was the first time she heard her call herself that, Ying Zhao looked at the other's lips, moved closer, and licked the corner of the other's mouth. Chocolate sauce for dipping.

sweet.

Not greasy.

Even at this age, I am still moved.

When she thought of being stared at by the other party for so many years, she trembled all over, feeling a sense of guilt, and at the same time thanked God for giving her such a gift.

Priceless.

She is.

My priceless treasure.

The author has something to say:

Ying Zhao: Finally it's my turn to say [my].