sweet temptation

Chu Ci stayed here for a full week.

And his departure, like his arrival, came without warning.

One morning a week later, I woke up from my dream, and Chu Ci had disappeared.

I looked at the sun rising outside the window, and sat on the wooden bed blankly, thinking, maybe I should do something.

I set my eyes on the candles in the room.

I got a lighter and lit all the candles.

Compared with the brilliance of the sun, the candlelight is insignificant.

They are only useful in the dark, and who expects darkness?

I take pity on the twilight of the candle and close all the doors and windows.

The room is full of yellowish and warm light.

I sat on the ground and thanked the warmth for surrounding me once again.

I sat from morning till dusk fell.

The wax oil is consumed little by little.

When the candles were almost extinguished, I got up and picked up the last candlestick that was burning.

Sitting for a long time made my body lose flexibility, and my foot sprained, so I threw the candlestick on the bed not far away.

The candle flame that was about to be extinguished met the brocade quilt wrapped in cotton wool, and the flames shot up into the sky.

The water in the tank was exhausted, I looked at the chain on my ankle, and thought calmly: Maybe, I’m going to die again.

Without any fluctuation in my heart, I walked to the railing outside the door, which was the place farthest from the fire.

In front of me is the setting sun.

Behind me, is the flame that soars to the sky.

The wooden boards under him had already started to heat up, and the chains on his feet were astonishingly hot.

This is an independent attic on the grassland, even if it is burned to ashes, no one will find it.

Wood burning, crackling sound, like the most simple music of nature.

It's a pity that I am not a moth, otherwise I would rush to the fire behind me without hesitation, and fly to heaven amidst the music.

The smoke was getting thicker and my vision was beginning to blur.

Before I fell to the ground, I suddenly remembered that I in my previous life seemed to die on this day.

Lovers' favorite festival, the seventh day of the seventh month of the lunar calendar.

I heard Chu Ci's mournful roar again.

A roar that seemed to pierce the clouds, as shrill as the first death.

I heard his footsteps on the precarious plank.

So fast, so fast, so heavy.

Faintly, I saw him rushing towards me, with trembling hands, aiming the key at the keyhole on the chain.

But it's useless.

The keyhole has already been blocked, and when I just arrived at this attic, I was blocked by the wire when I tried to pry the chain with the wire.

His voice sounded like he was crying, he hugged me for the last time, and said, "It's okay, it's okay. I'll take you down right away, I'll take you down right away."

I really shouldn't!

He should be like a prince, living in a castle made of gold and silver, carefree.

Rather than like this, just listening to the voice can make people feel the overwhelming sadness and helplessness emanating from him.

He threw away the keys, took off his coat, and spoke one last time.

"Wait for me, I will save you."

I know where he is going.

He wanted to go into the burning house and untie the other end of the chain.

"It's useless."

I speak softly.

It's useless.

Chu Ci came too late.

Either go abroad to find me, or come here to save me.

He came too late.

In such a big fire, the other end of the chain must have been burned out of shape, how can it be untied?

Chu Ci has always been smarter than me, it is impossible for him not to know.

He just, doesn't want to know.

If this goes on, we're all going to die.

The funny thing is, until now, I still can't let him go.

Why did he have to die?

He is so smart and has such a bright future.

Why should you die with me, an incompetent painter who has lost the ability to paint?

But I know he won't listen to me and leave first.

I have said more than once that I will desperately fulfill Chu Ci's wish.

But this time, I had to disobey him.

This is the first time I disobeyed him.

I pushed him off the railing of the attic.

When he fell, the soft grass took some of the force off him.

he will not die.

When I was crushed by the fallen beams, I looked at my face and fell to the ground, looking at my Chu Ci with wide eyes in disbelief.Said: "I saved your life."

So, don't die.

Pain is fine,

Numbness is fine,

It's okay to despair,

As long as he is alive.

Painful memories always pass,

A numb heart always ushers in new life,

Days of despair are always filled with hope.

As long as he is alive.

The moment before I died, I saw red flames engulfing my body.

How nice, I thought.

What a world of color.