The Fourth Quadrant of Online Games

Ten years ago, Jiangcheng University was not much different from what it is now. The Department of Mathematics is still in the courtyard by the lake, but the building is not as tall as it is now, with only three floors. The wall bricks are gray, and the outer walls are mottled. At first glance, it is not clear whether it is the shadow of the setting sun falling through the tree branches, or the wrinkles carved by time.

It's late autumn, and the two ginkgo leaves in the yard have almost fallen. The blue bricks are as thick as a layer of golden blanket. If you step on it, you will feel an inexplicable sense of satisfaction.So when Pu Yiyang came over from school, he deliberately parked his bicycle outside the yard and walked the short distance by himself.

He still remembers the feeling of those 5 minutes, it was probably the last time in his life that he had a carefree and happy time.He had just finished the International Mathematics Contest for Middle School Students that day, and he felt that he had done very well in the exam, and his steps were floating when he walked. After all, he was only 15 years old, and he would still be proud of his excellent results.

He chose to come here before going home to say thank you to Lu Yuxing.His father locked himself in the laboratory when he got busy, and only Uncle Lu was willing to give him instructions on his homework.For example, he started preparing for this competition a year ago, and solemnly told his father that he would definitely win the gold medal, just like when a man was young.After hearing this, the man touched his head randomly a few times, laughed a few times, and said to his son, winning this award would be a piece of cake.The more my father said that, the more pressure Pu Yiyang felt.As the game was approaching, Pu Zhengping was too busy to see anyone. In the end, Lu Yuxing came forward again and taught him a few questions before the game.Pu Yiyang was grateful to Uncle Lu who was more conscientious than his own father from the bottom of his heart, so he came to Uncle Lu to announce his good news as soon as he finished the exam.

In the next ten years, Pu Yiyang couldn't tell whether he had regretted it. He chose to appear in this place at this moment that day.

But in this dream that was repeated over and over again, he had no other choice.

Like every time in the past, he walked up to the second floor and came to the door of the man's office.

A woman's voice came from inside: "Where is he? Please tell me, where did he go!"

The voice was both familiar and unfamiliar, but he recognized it all at once. It was the voice of his mother Luo Yingying.It’s just that in his impression, his mother, who is a botanist, has always spoken softly, with the calmness and elegance of a scholar. He has never heard his mother pleading with anyone like this with a crying voice. .

Another said: "Sorry, I really don't know."

His mother didn't believe it: "How can you not know? You are his senior brother. In the past few years, he spent more time in the laboratory than with me and Yangyang. How could you not know what he is doing? "

The other person seemed helpless, and apologized in a low voice.

No words of apology could comfort his mother.Pu Yiyang later understood that this is how people are, because she endured it for too long, and because her upbringing and natural temperament did not allow her to express it, so once a gap is broken, the emotions that have been suppressed for a long time will become a mountain torrent, and it will become a torrent. All sanity is destroyed.

Her mother's voice was high-pitched and hoarse, and she was a different person in peacetime.She seems to have become a soldier who fired the last bullet on the battlefield, pounced on with her flesh and blood, and didn't care about the final victory or loss: "You don't know, but I know, I went to him that day, I thought I asked him why he refused to go home, I saw it, I saw him with a man! They were together every day... I was going crazy, I asked him if he fell in love with someone else, he didn't deny it... I I've known him for almost 20 years, but I didn't even know that he loves a man!"

The last sentence was hoarse, and just like that passed through the half-closed door, causing Pu Yiyang's head to buzz.

The other person was also obviously a little shocked. He was silent for a while, as if trying to appease his mother, but the boy outside the room, like the woman inside, couldn't listen to these words.

His mother seemed to want to vent all the grievances of this half of her life, crying loudly, begging, scolding his father who suddenly became gay, begging another person to tell her the man's whereabouts, After saying that sentence just now, she completely lost the last bit of restraint, and turned into someone Pu Yiyang didn't know at all, a desperate and angry woman.

Pu Yiyang felt struggling, he wanted to rush in and hug his mother, but also wanted to turn around and run away, as if he ran fast enough, the words he heard just now came out of his ears , and never existed the same.

But he was too late.

In this dream, he had no time to go anywhere, no time to do anything, he could only watch the things that happened a long time ago happen one after another, watching his life turned upside down in just one month.

Half a month later, his missing father was finally found.

It was only later that Pu Yiyang heard intermittently that the man was found on the river. He was found by a homeless man. He lay in the police station for a day before the police combined the unrecognizable body with the ex-wife who had been missing for many days. Associate Professor of Jiangcheng University.

That day he only heard the sound of someone falling from the house, and when he opened the door, he saw his unconscious mother.

His father had no other relatives, and the funeral was held in a low-key manner. When his mother collapsed, only Lu Yuxing, a brother from the same school, helped with the arrangements.That was the first time Pu Yiyang saw obvious white hair on his uncle Lu's sideburns.

Lu Yuxing, who was dressed in black, caressed Pu Zhengping's urn, and put his hand down when he noticed him approaching.

Lu Yuxing said to him again, sorry.

Pu Yiyang asked why he said sorry.

Lu Yuxing lowered his head.

"I know what my junior is doing, I've always known," his voice was very hoarse, "I told him that it might be dangerous, that man is not a good person, but he didn't listen to me. But now... I I regret it now, Yang Yang, why didn't I force him to obey?"

Pu Yiyang remembered asking him why he didn't tell his mother everything.

Lu Yuxing showed a sad smile: "He told me not to tell anyone, he was afraid of dragging you down. That's why I didn't tell your mother. Maybe I think... I think it's a secret, something he only told me Secret...for so many years, every time he has an idea or achievements, he will be the first to tell me. I'm too selfish, just like this, he can...can..."

The man's words have long lost their logic. At that time, Pu Yiyang seemed to understand, but also didn't seem to understand. He only knew that Lu Yuxing was indeed full of guilt and remorse, and what he needed most at that time was to find someone to blame, just like his mother. Object, as an outlet for emotional catharsis.

He told Lu Yuxing to go.

For so many years, whenever he saw Lu Yuxing, he would think of the beginning of this series of nightmares, the quarrel that broke out in the office of the Department of Mathematics of Jiang University, and the funeral.He lost his father, then his mother, and then everything.

Luo Yingying was in a coma for four full days before waking up.

Pu Yiyang learned from the doctor that she has been in poor health, and under the stimulation of these days, a blood vessel in her brain burst open, which will affect her ability to move.

The doctor asked him to persuade his mother to cooperate with the treatment and strive for a speedy recovery.Every afternoon, he was allowed to visit his mother in the ward, but his mother, who was lying on the hospital bed, never spoke to him once.He even wondered if the illness had taken away his mother's ability to speak.The mother became a puppet, without any anger, day after day, she just stared out the window in a daze.

Until Luo Yingying was discharged from the hospital, she refused to have any communication with her son.Pu Yiyang didn't have any complaints, he still went to school during the day, and rushed home after class to take care of his mother in a wheelchair.He tried his best to take care of his mother, working late into the night every day, and only sleeping three or four hours a day.Then one day, when Luo Yingying fell asleep, he sneaked into his father's study.

It was already empty.At Luo Yingying's request, Lu Yuxing took away almost everything that belonged to Pu Zhengping.Those familiar thick books, draft paper, and all kinds of weird model utensils all disappeared overnight as if they had been cast a spell.

Only the paper airplane he folded when he was a child is still on the window sill. Over the years, the paper has turned yellow and the handwriting is blurred.Maybe Lu Yuxing forgot, or maybe Uncle Lu wanted to leave him with some thoughts about his father. In short, this fragile gadget became the only trace left by the man in the room.

Pu Yiyang picked up those paper airplanes and wanted to open the window to throw them away, but found an account card underneath.

That was his first exposure to this game called DELTA.

DELTA had just been tested publicly at that time, and brain-computer docking was still a novelty.People are always curious and wary of new concepts, so there are not many players in DELTA, and there are even fewer players with brain-computer access.

Pu Yiyang doesn't care.He likes to play games, and so do men. Playing games has always been the best communication between their father and son.He took that new card and built a new character in this new game with a random name.

He called him passing by.

In the days after that, DELTA became his greatest spiritual support. When he was exhausted from the day's work, he would log in to DELTA, even if he didn't do anything, he would just find a planet that was still a wilderness at that time, lie on the Looking at the starry sky on the screen on the empty ground, he would feel very relaxed.

However, he should have known that the moment of comfort stolen from the game could not make him forget the misery of reality.

A few weeks later, Pu Yiyang remembered that it was a Monday, and he learned the results of the competition when he was at school during the day.

For the 15-year-old Pu Yiyang, this was supposed to be the realization of his dream, but in reality, the successive blows made it so insignificant. He only felt a trace of joy, but this trace of joy was almost his own. The only light in that time, he was pinching the commemorative gold coin that represented No.1, as if pinching the last thing in his life that he was still familiar with.

He didn't dare to delay for a moment, and returned home quickly, hoping to let his mother share this rare happiness.

Pu Yiyang will never forget Luo Yingying's expression at that time. His mother's expression when she saw the gold coin was just like the ginkgo leaves in Jiang Dayuan's courtyard, which appeared in his dreams countless times in the past ten years.

For the first time in so many days, the woman reacted to Pu Yiyang.She raised a hand that was so thin that she could see the bones, touched the gold coin in Pu Yiyang's palm, and then it fell on Pu Yiyang's face.

Then, vaguely, moving her tongue that had not fully recovered, she said softly: "You really look like him..."

Suddenly, that haggard and somewhat numb face trembled violently. Pu Yiyang had never imagined that his gentle and beautiful mother would show such a terrifying expression. He still doesn't understand, what is this? Because the mother's damaged brain hadn't recovered at the time, she still really... hated her son that much.

He only remembered that his mother shook her arms violently and almost fell off the wheelchair, and there were low hoarse screams from her throat, like sobbing, and like telling him to roll.

He had no choice but to leave the room.And he clearly knew that Luo Yingying probably wouldn't want to see him again for a long time afterwards.

Pu Yiyang called the hospital and asked them to find a nurse, then walked out of the house in a daze.He walked aimlessly, not knowing where else he could go.He walked through Jiangcheng University, through the bustling city, and when he could hardly walk, he found the riverside.

The setting sun fell on the water, like a big puddle of undiluted blood. He imagined the man floating and sinking on the water, and a strong hatred suddenly burst out from his huddled chest. He looked at the river meaninglessly. Shouting until he couldn't make a sound, he reached for the gold coin in his pocket.

That was the goal he had spent several years striving for, the highest honor a man of his age could get in the field of mathematics, and the achievement that man had ever achieved.

But now, he never wanted to see it again.

He squeezed the gold coin tightly, raised his arm, and wanted to throw it into the river.But he couldn't open his five fingers.He raised his hand three times and dropped it three times, but in the end, he still couldn't do it.

He couldn't, couldn't really throw away something that he wanted for so long, just like he couldn't stop being that person's son.

He stumbled away from the river like a drunk, and almost ran into an old couple who were out for a walk. One of the old women scolded him, and he could still distinguish the word. An uneducated bastard.

Gangster, this word that was originally far away from him, suddenly made his eyes shine.

He didn't want his current life anymore, he thought, he could be a gangster.