my brother became a scum

After staying in the general ward for a few days, the doctor said that Zhang Chen could be discharged from the hospital, and gently reminded me that if I want to rehabilitate my leg, it is best to take necessary rehabilitation measures immediately.

I asked Zhang Chen what he meant, and he said, "Winter is coming, let's talk about it in spring."

He said so, and I followed him.

The doctor also said to me in private, even if I recover, the chance of standing up again is not high. I don’t know much about medical principles, but what the doctor probably meant was that I missed the best recovery period. No amount of effort will help.

My state of mind became not very good. Seeing him waving at me in the wheelchair made me feel sad and sad, but I still didn’t want to tell him the truth.

I originally planned to buy a new house close to the company, but Zhang Chen said that I already had a house. After listening to his description, I remembered that the house was lived by Chen An, so I hesitated. I didn’t want to be called Zhang Chen. Staying with Chen An.

Zhang Chen looked at me for a few seconds, smiled inexplicably, and said, "Forget it, or I can live in the company just like you."

There is half a floor in the company as my living room, I am familiar with it, and Zhang Chen should be no stranger, I accepted the proposal, and told the people below to change some daily necessities, and generally there is no need to change it, because even the bed in the bedroom It's for two.

I felt a little thorn in my heart, if he lived alone in the company, why did he choose a double bed.

"There's no need to change the bed inside, it's a double bed. At that time, I thought it was uncomfortable for a single person to lie on, so I always chose a double bed."

"Ah."

"I never let anyone else sleep. It used to be my territory, and no one let me in."

He explained a sentence, but I was even angrier. I have been unwilling to think about the mess of his past, but he wants to dig it out by himself.

But I will never get angry with a patient and stop talking.

I didn't talk, Zhang Chen didn't talk either, he picked up the phone and started playing games.He is smart and lucky, so he drew a wave of ten consecutive draws, two SRs and one SSR.

I don't play games, but seeing the corners of his mouth twitch, I know it's a pretty good result.

He turned his head, looked at me, and said, "Chen Heping, give me your Alipay number."

“[email protected]”

"password?"

"My birthday."

I watched helplessly as he swiped away my 1 yuan and rushed into his game.

I was a little bit pained, so I opened my mouth: "That card is connected to my previous salary card in the system."

"uh-huh?"

"It's only about 10 yuan in total..."

"Are you distressed?"

"You change the payment method and swipe your card casually."

"I don't," Zhang Chen charged another 1 yuan without looking up, "You won't feel bad for spending other cards, but you will feel bad for spending this way."

"Enough, don't spend it." My brain hurts, and I can't control my anger.

"You can't control me, I'm happy." Zhang Chen raised his head, his fingers were still crackling, and there was still a vague smile on his face.

he's always like this...

My rationality was useless, and my brain went blank. When I woke up, there was a clear slap print on Zhang Chen's face. The phone was lying in the corner, the screen was covered with cobwebs, and cheerful background music was still playing.

The temperature of his cheeks still remained in my palm, and it was a little painful. I watched him lower his eyes, and raised his hand to wipe the blood from the corner of his mouth.His face was expressionless, showing no emotion, but my breathing became difficult, and my heart seemed to be tightly bound by an invisible hand.

I know, I feel bad.

Zhang Chen coughed a few more times, took a few breaths, and said, "I purposely made you angry, thinking that you would feel at ease if you scolded me a few words, but I really didn't expect that you would hit me."

I took a step down the steps he handed me over, and said, "Why did you hire me, I don't want to quarrel with you, and I don't want to beat you."

"I just kind of miss the time when we were always fighting back and forth," Zhang Chen raised his hand, covered his lips, and coughed a few more times, "You always made me unhappy at that time, but you looked very good-looking."

"First, I have never had anything to do with good looks. Second, you are probably sick."

"I'm not sick, Chen Heping," Zhang Chen put down his hand, and said casually, "I just love you very much."

"While talking about loving me, you keep those people outside? Talking about loving me, while using me mercilessly? Talking about loving me, while playing around like I'm a fool?"

I'm not angry at all, just simply stating a fact.

I loved him deeply, I hated him, I gave up on him, and in the end I felt sorry for him.

This is the path I chose, I have nothing to regret, I also believe that he really loves me, I just don't understand, I don't understand that he clearly loves me, why can he do these things?

If you love someone, shouldn't you make him happy?Shouldn't it be dedicated and affectionate?Shouldn't they protect each other?

I looked at Zhang Chen, I hoped he could give me an answer, but he was silent and couldn't give me an answer.Maybe you can give it to me, but the truth is always too hurtful, and he doesn't want to give it.

People are always chasing what they can't get.

Zhang Chen chased after his mother's hypocritical affection.

I am chasing the love that Zhang Chen ranks in the back row.

Waiting for people to be middle-aged and start to be exhausted, trying to forget the right and wrong when they were young, and remind themselves not to care about the past.Zhang Chen has become like this, and I will never forget him, the two of us can make do with sewing, and we can get by.

This is the future I envisioned. I don’t need to worry too much about emotional gains and losses. I live day after day, no matter how I live, it’s a day.

But Zhang Chen always pushes me.

When you are old, what kind of love are you talking about?How about talking about money, I make money, he spends money, I support him, and being with him, isn't that enough?

One must not be too greedy or too serious in life, otherwise, life will not be able to survive.

Zhang Chen was silent all the time, and just when I thought he was going to be silent all the time, he finally spoke.

"Chen Heping, do you know the hourglass?"

"Yeah." I don't understand why he suddenly mentioned this, this topic is too jumpy.

Zhang Chen flicked his hair, and pinned the silver-white hair behind his ears: "Then listen to me and don't interrupt, okay?"

"Okay." I agreed to him.

"Look at the hourglass. At first, the upper glass ball was filled with sand, and the lower glass ball was empty, with only a thin layer." Zhang Chen seemed to be telling a story. He told it very slowly, sometimes Stop for a while, "The sand flows down the narrow pipe, and the sand in the glass ball below will become more and more, until it is full, as if it is about to overflow, and the glass ball above will be hollowed out little by little.

"The hourglass is turned upside down, and the sand slides down again little by little, and the cycle repeats.

"My love for you is like the sand in an hourglass. At the beginning, it was so full that it was about to overflow. In the end, for a moment, I felt that there was nothing to be sad about leaving you.

"I will still pick up my people, play with my car, I have endless money, you don't love me, there are many people who will love me.

"Sometimes I'm thinking, you agreed to be my girlfriend/friend just because I'm your brother, I helped your grandpa, I seduced you in bed, and you're so fucking good.

"I want to be with you. You are the best man I have ever met in this world, but you will be a little bit reluctant. When I love you so much, you don't love me, even at that time. optional.

"I was thinking, how much do you treat me, how much do I pay back, if you treat me like nothing, I will treat you like Qin Muchu. I have never been a good person, and I can always find fun for myself. I was drunk at the time I drank the wine, looked at you, and asked you, who are you? You always said that you were my brother or friend, and that identity does not control me.

"Sometimes you will be so angry that you will get angry at me, and then I can feel that you care about me.

"But then I was too young, and I was greedy and wanted everything. You gave me the illusion that no matter what I did, you would never leave me. You were a good old man, and your grandpa's house was my last It seems that you have always been there, waiting for me to go back.

"Later, you changed. Maybe you kept changing, but I didn't realize it. I held your hand, lying next to you, and one day I realized that you wanted to go.

"I don't want you to go, but I don't know what you want, you don't want money and don't love power, it seems that in the next second, it will disappear.

"I want to give you the best things, but I couldn't give you the only thing you wanted at the time. On the one hand, I was greedy for other people's bodies, and on the other hand, I didn't want to expose you to the outside world.

"You are my weakness and my handle.

"Later, I encountered a lot of things, sometimes it was my fault, sometimes I was kept in the dark, and by the time I realized it, you had already left.

"I started chasing after your footsteps, and every time I caught up briefly, some accidents always happened.

"In the end, my glass ball is full and your glass ball is empty.

"Chen Heping, if you ask me a question, I'll give you this answer, okay?"

Zhang Chen hadn't spoken such a long word for a long time, and his voice was even a little hoarse. His words were sincere and from the bottom of his heart. I was also very moved when I heard them. good."

Indeed, it is quite good, if the person he said he loves is not me, I will applaud him warmly and touch his love.

But I am the one who "enjoyed" his love, and I am the one who has been entangled with him for 20 years. His words are as sweet as honey, but his actions are as sharp as knives. Ke, if this is the way he loves me, I would rather not have his erratic love.

Zhang Chen stopped talking. He lowered his eyes and stared at his fingers. After watching for a while, he raised his hand again to bite the edge of his fingernails.

I looked at it coldly for a few minutes, and then I couldn't help grabbing his hand. He bit the edges of his fingernails so that the edges of his fingernails were pitted, and the strength of his fingers was also great.

I squeezed his hand, frowned, and said, "Why do you bite your own fingers?"

His hands trembled slightly, he didn't speak, and after a while, he closed his eyes.Transparent water rolled out of his eye sockets, he shrugged his shoulders, and cried out with sobs.

His whole body was shaking, his upper body curled into a ball, and he raised his other hand, trying to stuff it into his mouth.I quickly pressed his hand, leaned down and kissed his lips, but he closed his lips tightly and kept crying, so I had no choice but to lick the tears off his cheeks.

After a while, he finally stopped his tears, opened his eyes again, and said, "I'm fine, let go of my hand."

I looked at him cautiously, and after a while, I let go of his hand and said, "Are you okay?"

"Of course I'm fine."

"Lie," I rubbed my eyebrows with my fingers, "how long have you been like this?"

"What?" Zhang Chen was expressionless, as if he really didn't understand what I was asking.

"How long has it been since you couldn't help biting your fingers and couldn't stop your tears?"

"I do not understand what you are saying."

"I also just believe what I see."

"Oh."

Zhang Chen took out a handkerchief from his jacket, wiped the water marks from the corners of his eyes, and looked too calm: "I will deal with this problem well."

"I don't quite trust you to handle this well."

"Don't worry, I don't want to become a lunatic. I'm afraid you will throw me into a nursing home and tell me to see you all my life."

"What nonsense, I said, I will take care of you for the rest of my life."

"You promised me that when I get out of prison, we will always be together," Zhang Chen looked calm, but there was a trace of complaint in his words, "but I waited for a long time that day, and you didn't show up. The newspapers told me that you divorced me."

"That was something other people did secretly, and I didn't know it."

"So you sent someone to check my life abroad, so that's why you appeared downstairs in the villa that day?"

Zhang Chen is always too sharp, and his guesses are accurate enough to make me speechless.

"So can you tell me what made you change your mind about divorcing me?"

"……I do not want to say."

"Do you think I cheated?"

"..."

"I didn't cheat."

"you……"

"What's wrong with me?"

Zhang Chen stretched out his hand and fiddled with my fingertips. His movements were very natural, not at all the miserable appearance just now.

"Someone said that Paul bought you cosmetics and visited you frequently."

"So you think my relationship with Paul might break out in prison?"

"..."

"Paul came in once, bought me something and said he needed money."

"What does he need money for?"

"I don't know, but I messed around with him before. He has a little bit of me. I have to spend money to buy peace, or I will spend a few more years in prison."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"You can see me once a month, twice at most. How can I tell you? When Paul came over, he said that he would either give me money or return a letter of complaint."

"Then how much did you pay him?"

"8000."

"You are really rich."

"I want [-] million, I said I only have the money in the card, and asked him to swipe my secondary card, but when I was abroad, I took the main card to swipe, and found that there was no money in it." gone."

"Then why didn't you tell me?"

"Later, I saw that you were not in the right mood, so I didn't really want to tell you. I didn't know if I told you, would you believe me? Later, when I was busy with the sex, I forgot."

I looked at Zhang Chen, and surprisingly believed what he said.