my brother became a scum

"I have never believed that you don't like me at all," Zhang Chen slowly let go of my hand, "I always thought that we would be together and finish the journey of this life."

"You are too conceited, Zhang Chen, who do you think you are? Do you think I will stand still and wait for you to play the game of the prodigal son?" I stood up straight, my heart was in a mess, and I told myself that I did nothing wrong .

"Chen Heping, it was you who made me feel that no matter what I did, you would stay where I was and stand by my side." Zhang Chen couldn't help laughing as he spoke, when there was the sound of flint rubbing behind him, the sound It took seven or eight times before the fire was finally lit, and the wind brought the overly familiar tobacco aroma.

"Zhang Chen, are you awake now? You don't have to look for me anymore, and you don't have to show mercy to me. You live your life, and I live mine. Let it be like this."

I said softly what I should say. Before this, I never expected that I would be so sad-I thought such intense emotions were exhausted when I was young, exhausted in his time and time again. cheating, lying again and again.I thought I had known for a long time that he and I were doomed to be only a short-lived company, and we couldn't grow old together at all.

But when it really comes to this day, I will complain in my heart, complaining that my past self did not leave a little more sweetness.

After he finished smoking the cigarette, I heard him say: "Okay, I'll listen to you, you and I, just go with it."

I stood where I was and heard him take the first step. He couldn't help laughing, and then took the second step. He laughed loudly and walked vigorously, but the footsteps became weaker and weaker. Farther and farther away, I didn't look back, listening to him walk out of my world.

The next day, I went to Xijiao Prison, and Huang Zhiming asked me what was wrong, as if I had just lost my relationship, I said that I hadn't lost my relationship, but I was just sent out.

When this buddy heard about my situation, his first reaction was to ask me to come again before leaving and bring him something more.

I was stunned to be laughed at by him, and only said that he was too heartless and had no sympathy at all.

Huang Zhiming asked me back, if he was really a human being, why would he stay in this prison.

What he said made me speechless, I don't want to admit that he is a criminal scum, but he is just like I have been scolding Zhang Chen for being a scum, and I always feel in my heart that he is not hopeless.

I thought of him again, and I also had a hunch that in the days to come, I would think of him as many times as I do now.

Huang Zhiming still didn't give me any hint about the evidence he possessed. Maybe he never had any hidden evidence, or maybe I have too few chips at this stage to allow him to take the risk and reveal the hole card to me.

Before I left the city, I went to worship my grandfather. When I got there, I found a bunch of flowers in front of the stele. Under the flowers, there was a pink letter with four words written on it.

"Chen Heping received"

I was seriously thinking about tearing it up, because the handwriting was too familiar.

"Chen Heping, go play basketball after class."

"Chen Heping, see you in the library this weekend."

"Chen Heping, has your hair been chewed by a dog?"

"Chen Heping, do you want to go up and sing at the welcome party?"

"Chen Heping, I want to sleep with you so much that I can't sleep at night."

"Chen Heping, you swipe my card, or I would be embarrassed to eat and drink your food."

……

I bent down, picked up the letter, and opened the pink envelope, revealing a white piece of paper.

"Chen Heping, why don't you fucking die?"

I put the letter back into the envelope, held it in my hand, and was about to find a trash can to throw it away, but the cemetery was too big, and I couldn't find a trash can.

I rolled the pink envelope into a ball and threw it on the ground casually. After walking only three steps, I walked back and picked up the ball of paper.

With a little bit of my finger, I tore open the envelope, and flipped through the inside of the envelope familiarly—it was the place where I agreed to leave the password when I was in the second grade.

"I'll wait for you to come back."

——You wait for me to come back, what are you waiting for me to come back for?

I don't want to think about it anymore. After leaving the cemetery and returning home, it's not that I don't want to worship my mother, but that I can't do it anymore.

Not long after I changed my surname to Chen and the custody was assigned to my grandfather, that man flourished again.

He quietly removed his mother's tomb, and secretly gave a sum of money to his grandpa's children. It was also because of this money that they were able to go abroad smoothly. Naturally, he kept it a secret—this matter, But I found out that there was no other reason. The son of the boss who was in charge of the construction was in the same class as me. He suffered for a while and chose to tell me.

The tomb is already empty, and the worship has become meaningless. I have been keeping this secret and maintaining a superficial friendship. Perhaps because of this reason, my only relatives in this world are unwilling to come back , or rather, dare not come back.

Grandpa didn't know about it until his death, and I didn't want to think about it. I didn't want to have any connection with that man, so even though I had some means later, I didn't go to find out.

Now that I am leaving the city where I grew up, I can't help but think of her and this past event.I can't remember her face clearly, I just remember she was polishing the red leather shoes and said with a smile, "I'll go to see your father, and I'll be back in a few days."

Some people can only love one person in their whole life, they have obsessions in their hearts, and they will never betray them in their whole life.

Some people can fall in love with many people in a lifetime. Of course, there is a favorite person, but this does not hinder the pursuit of sensory stimulation and indulging in carnival.

After I packed up the things I needed, I found out the ring that Zhang Chen gave me back then, and touched it, and it was indeed engraved with his name.

I opened a bottle of Erguotou, stuffed the ring in, tightened the bottle cap again, threw his into the red wine, mine into the white wine, thought about it, and couldn't help laughing.

After boarding the plane and flying for several hours, we finally arrived at Lushi.The air in Lushi is not good, the sky is gray, and when I get off the plane, there is a mountain of work-my predecessor left the job dishonorably, and was taken away by the inspection team for investigation, so there is a backlog of work that has not yet been completed. deal with things.

The predecessor was a very thoughtful doer. He tried to introduce more capital investment, but also covered up the violations of these capitals. The environment in Lucheng was not so bad before—from blue sky and white clouds to smog, it was only two At the beginning of the year, the economic development originally envisaged by Feiyang has become a utopian bubble because of the rough development and overcapacity.

The very beginning of my tenure was to clean up the tail of my predecessor. Layers of pressure from the capital and the public were transmitted through various channels, and their demands were often opposite, and I had to make balance and adjustments.

The folk customs of Lucheng can be described as tough. The representatives of all parties often started to quarrel when they disagreed. At the beginning, they were worried about my presence. When the quarrel became fierce, they immediately started fighting. He acted vigorously and used some iron and blood skills, and finally managed to smooth things over.

But in the blink of an eye, winter came again, and new conflicts occurred frequently. I simply lived in an office building and worked day and night-I thought I had worked hard enough, but it was obviously not enough, because the historical problems accumulated in the past were not resolved. Resolved in time, the largest conflict ever to occur in Deer City erupts.

To make matters worse, this conflict was directly broadcast live on the Internet by the troublemakers, and the impact was extremely bad.Even though the source of the conflict lies with my predecessor, I still bear the unshirkable responsibility for improper handling and ineffective supervision.The provincial task force has already felt Lucheng, and the inspection team is on the way. I have written my resignation letter, and while solving the problem, I am also preparing for the handover of work.At first, I was a little apprehensive, but as the conflicts were resolved one by one, and the follow-up appeasement work was carried out in an orderly manner, the stone that weighed on my heart gradually became loose—even if I took the blame and resigned and stopped working in politics, at least I helped resolve some problems. The problem is that I did not go to Lucheng in vain.

For a month after the conflict broke out, I closed off all avenues for news that would cloud my judgment, and I wasn't sure I would be able to remain calm without being affected.After the incident was basically resolved, I began to accept administrative review and economic investigation. All the information was completely dug out and re-examined. I spent every weekend answering questions and writing reports.

This is a necessary process, I understand but still feel painful, for two months, I hardly have any private space outside of work, but fortunately in the final investigation results, I have the responsibility Smaller, and finally got the treatment of staying on probation.

During this turmoil, I realized that maybe because I sat in the office for too long, I could not hear or see the real contradictions and thoughts below, so in the following days, I visited and visited as many as possible. The final effect of the research is also particularly obvious, and the handling of the problem is obviously much smoother and more detailed.

I have only been in Lucheng for half a year, and my whole body seems to have peeled off a layer of skin and bones, and it has become completely different from the past. I began to like this city, and I hope from the bottom of my heart that I can do more for this city .

After my work gradually got on the right track, the Spring Festival is just around the corner. This is also the first time I have spent the Spring Festival away from my hometown. It's very harmonious. Some people will ask me if I want to go home for the New Year. I shake my head and say that I want to experience the taste of Lushi. Everyone is smart, and I won't ask any more.

The winter in Lushi is very cold. I wear a thick padded jacket, and I still don’t dare to go out on the street. My body in my 30s is not as good as it was in my 20s. Sometimes I work overtime and stay up too late, and I feel like I’m about to faint. But he gritted his teeth and stood up, and he survived.

On New Year's Eve, I offered to visit the masses and deliver rice, flour, grain and oil from door to door. It was not for the sake of saving face, but just to find some work for myself. Sometimes when I saw the elderly smiling, I would have the illusion that my grandfather was still there. But I also knew in my heart that my grandfather had left me long ago.

On the second day of the Lunar New Year, I finished writing my speech for years to come, and finally had nothing to do. I was alone in a daze in the office. When I came back to my senses, I had a cigarette in my fingertips, half burned.

This is the first year, Zhang Chen neither sent me a message, nor explicitly told me in Moments, he came.

And I need to get used to living alone, and also need to get used to the absence of Zhang Chen.