my brother became a scum

Doctors from the mental health department conducted a comprehensive examination on Zhang Chen. The preliminary conclusion was that it was a sequela caused by wrongly taking schizophrenic drugs. The advice given was to continue the medication for a period of time and wait for the situation to stabilize before weaning off the drugs slowly.

Zhang Chen accepted the result and was willing to continue taking the medicine.

But the doctor also made it clear to me in private that although the symptoms are likely to be relieved after taking the medicine, and the medicine can be stopped slowly after the situation stabilizes, there is still a certain probability of relapse, and every relapse, the situation will be worse.

The doctor said that when taking the medicine in the early stage, there is a certain probability of nausea, nausea, drowsiness, and debilitating side effects. Zhang Chen is lucky, and it is possible that he has already experienced these stages when he received "treatment" in the nursing home.

He is taking psychiatric drugs, and he is also doing rehabilitation treatment. Sometimes I go to the gym to see him during work breaks, and I can always see that he has either fallen to the ground or is falling. I was blue all over, but I always got up stubbornly and tried again.

I was never worried about Zhang Chen's willpower, but sometimes I still felt a little distressed, so I went to hug him and stroke his head.

In a blink of an eye, it was the New Year again, and the company was sending out money from top to bottom. I also wrapped a red envelope, and handed it to Zhang Chen on the morning of New Year’s Eve, saying, "The red envelope for you."

Zhang Chen took the red envelope, touched it, but said, "It's thin."

"It's so thin, it's loaded with 2000 yuan."

"You owe me a red envelope for more than ten years, so just give me 2000 yuan?"

I was about to ask him where the red envelopes he owed for more than ten years came back, and I remembered the past. If I remember correctly, my last red envelope that year was given to Oda.

I haven't spoken for a long time, and Zhang Chen also realized that this topic is not right, he lowered his head, as if he was embarrassed to apologize although I did something wrong, I rubbed his hair, and exposed the matter He said, "I'll make another big one for you later."

"Make up for a big one?"

Zhang Chen reached out and hugged my waist tightly, looking very cute.

Finally got an eight-day holiday for the new year, lying lazily on the bed and not moving, Zhang Chen tossed his face for two and a half hours, lazily lying on the bed, making money and playing.

Well, play for money.The money I transferred to him before has doubled now, God knows how he did it.

When he made money, he transferred all the money back to my account, threw away the phone, and crawled into my arms on the bed.

I was already half asleep and half awake at that time, I hugged him instinctively and said, "What's for dinner?"

"Can you do something for me?"

"I haven't made anything in years."

"I want to eat braised pork..."

"What if I can't do well?"

"Want to eat."

"...It will be done." I agreed to him with my eyes closed, and soon there were two patches of warmth on my lips. He kissed me secretly, and tried to slip away because of my sleepiness.

I opened my eyes, turned over and held him down, and said, "Run after teasing?"

"I won't run away if you tease me. If you cook me meat, I can only pay for it..."

His last word was hidden in my lips, and our lips and teeth were attached to each other, rolling into a ball again.

On the first day of the Lunar New Year, the first snow since the beginning of winter finally fell, and the snow fell so hard that when looking out from the windows in the building, the eyes were silvery white.

Zhang Chen is still doing rehabilitation. He has already dropped today's No.30 eight times, and he still doesn't complain of pain.

He pushed his own wheelchair, came to my side, looked out through the floor-to-ceiling windows, and said, "Let's go out and have a look."

I wanted to say that it was cold outside, and that there was nothing to see outside, but I looked into his shining eyes and said, "Okay."

It is not easy to leave the building in this kind of weather. I wrapped Zhang Chen layer by layer, wrapped him into a ball, and pushed him into the stairs——most of the staff in the building have gone home for vacation.

The elevator goes directly to the parking lot, and you can already vaguely feel the coldness. When you get out of the parking lot, the bitter wind blows snowflakes against your face—the weather is cold enough.

Zhang Chen pulled off the thick scarf and said with a smile, "It's snowing."

I said "hmm" and pulled back a little more so that his wheelchair wouldn't get wet with snow.

We stayed at the entrance of the passage for a while, Zhang Chen said, "I really want to have a snowball fight with you."

"That's what kids do."

"If you want to be a child, you don't have to think about anything."

"Children also have children's troubles. When you were young, you must have been looking forward to growing up."

He thought for a while and said, "That's really the case, it seems so stupid."

"Children are looking forward to growing up, because they don't know that there will be many difficult things waiting for them when they grow up."

"Who made us human? People are always more troubled than happy, right?"

Zhang Chen seemed very emotional today, I pinched his cheek and said, "Have you seen enough, it's time to go back."

"Okay, let's go back."

I pushed him back, Zhang Chen suddenly said, "It's pretty good."

"What's good?"

"I can still stay by your side and watch the snowflakes together."

"Have you taken your medicine today?"

"Eat, follow the doctor's advice."

"Then why are you so hypocritical all of a sudden?"

"I'm just remembering something from the past."

"Like?"

"For example, when you left the city and went to Lushi, I was homeless during Chinese New Year, and it snowed so much that day. I drove to Jingshan Park and got drunk."

"After getting drunk, I still have to post a circle of friends."

"So you saw it..."

"Well, I see it."

Zhang Chen stopped talking, I thought about it, and said: "At that time, you and I had already separated, you married a wife, and I went to Lushi, we were so far away, there was no way to find you."

"If I didn't marry a wife, you didn't go to Lushi, and we just separated, would you come to me?"

"I don't know either. Only in that situation can there be an answer."

"You are still the same, you can't even say a word of love."

"I don't like to lie to you."

"I nearly froze to death."

"Ok?"

"The old man who sold the tickets in the park was worried about whether I went in or not, so he found me in the snow,"

Zhang Chen spoke very calmly, but I couldn't help touching his face, he rubbed my palm like a poor little animal, "I was lying on the hospital bed, watching bit by bit, at that time I knew that no one would care about my life except you. So, even if you despise me again, I will be with you, and I can't do without you. "

"I didn't dislike you," I breathed out, and said slowly, "I just thought that you could still live comfortably without me."

"Impossible," Zhang Chen's voice trembled a little, as if he was crying, "Even if I didn't get into a car accident, leaving you is no different to me being dead."

I stretched out my hand to touch it, and I felt the warm tears, which burned my palm and warmed the cold blood.

I heard him say: "Chen Heping, I love you much more than you can imagine."

I heard me answer him: "Thank you."

Zhang Chen stopped talking.

I pushed him and walked forward slowly, just in time to see a car with its rear lights on, it should be coming out of reverse to leave the parking lot, I gave way to the side, and didn't pay much attention.

To be honest, my mind is a little messed up. I am not indifferent to what Zhang Chen just said, but it seems to be separated by a layer. The hardships of the year reminded me again and again that Zhang Chen’s words must be listened to at a discount, but his words can always be ignored. Poking the softest part of my heart, I don't know how long I can last.

I don't want to give up my feelings and make myself vulnerable, but I can't help being nicer to him, blaming him for being too beautiful, and blaming me for not being hard enough.

When the accident happened, I only had time to see the suddenly enlarged headlights, and I heard the unique rumbling sound of the car and Zhang Chen's exclamation.

My body surpassed instinct and exhausted all my strength, and pushed Zhang Chen's wheelchair out heavily. The next moment, severe pain swept through my whole body, and I felt blood gushing out from my body.

The ceiling lights in the parking lot became blurred, and my eyes were blood red—before I fell into the darkness, I seemed to hear Zhang Chen’s cry.

"Hey, Chen Heping, if you were sitting in the passenger seat and an oncoming car was about to hit us, would you choose to save yourself or save me?"

"I do not know."

"Why do you say that?"

"How would I know what I would do if things didn't get to that point."

"Okay, you didn't lie to me anyway, unlike my ex-boyfriend, who spoke better than he sang, and when an accident happened, he wished to send me to die and save his life."

"Human nature is to let oneself live, and you can't blame him."

"Chen Heping, you are a good old man."

"Zhang Chen, even I can't guarantee that I will save you. You'd better offend less people, so as not to encounter such a thing again."

"Tsk, you don't care about me..."

I wanted to leave him alone, but I couldn't control it after all.

I obviously don't love him as much as I did when I was young, but when I realized the danger, my instinct told me to choose to save him.

"Tick tock, tick tock,"

Like blood dripping slowly on the ground.

"Tick tock, tick tock,"

Like a drip of medicine rolled into the blood vessel.

"Tick tock, tick tock,"

Like the heartbeat monitor is working fine.

I smelled the cool air, but my eyes were tightly glued to each other. Even with all my strength, I couldn't open my eyes.

The numb pain stimulated my nerves a little bit, and my soul breathed a sigh of relief, I know, I'm still alive.

I was not afraid of death, and I was willing to rush to the front of the most dangerous.

I have been looking forward to death, liquidate this complicated life, make love and hate return to peace.

But at this moment, I sincerely lament that being alive is really a lucky thing.

It has nothing to do with anyone, nothing to do, just to be alive, enough to rejoice, there are still decades in the future, to be able to continue to waste.

I heard the very light sound of a wheelchair sliding by, getting closer and heavier, so familiar that it seemed to be engraved at the end of my soul.

My right hand was held by that person, and a soft, trembling, cold kiss fell on the back of my hand, together with cold tears.

I heard him say, "Chen Heping, why are you still awake?"

But I couldn't move, and I couldn't respond to his words.

"Chen Heping... I beg you to wake up."

His tears dripped more and more on the back of my hand, and he cried louder and louder. He lay on my lap and collapsed.

"Brother Heping...I can't live without you, I can't live without you..."

I guess he must be ugly now, I like to look at him when he is good-looking, but I don't know why I am desperately trying to open my eyes.

I blamed it on him crying so badly that it made my brain hurt, so when I finally opened my eyes and could barely move my lips, the first thing I said was: "Don't cry, it's so bad .”