After dinner, the two found a movie to watch on the bed, "The Life of David Gore", a very old movie, Lu Kun said he hadn't seen it, and Jiang Ming clicked on it.

When the movie came to the line when David Gore was in class at the University of Austin, Lu Kun was deeply attracted. The reason why he said this was because Jiang Ming found that Lu Kun’s hand that had been touching his back suddenly didn’t move. up.

"The point of Lacan's philosophy is that fantasy must transcend reality, because at the moment you have it you can't and won't want it anymore, in order to continue to exist, the object of desire must never be attainable, what you want is not "it" itself, but fantasies about "it". Desire and wild fantasies go hand in hand."

"This is what Pascal called true happiness, which comes from daydreaming about future happiness, otherwise how would we say, 'It's more fun to hunt than to kill', or 'Be careful what you wish', not because you'll get it , but because once you get it, you never want it again."

"So the lesson Lacan taught us is: People who achieve what they want will never be happy. The most human truth is to try to live in your thoughts and ideals. Don't measure your life by how many desires you achieve, but It should be measured by how many moments of sincerity, compassion, reason, and even self-sacrifice, because at the end of the day the only yardstick of our lives is how you look at the lives of others."

The bell rang for the end of get out of class, and David's class was over.

Lu Kun stretched lazily, turned over, put one hand under his head, and stared at the ceiling in a daze.

"What's wrong?" Jiang Ming asked him.

"The lectures taught by the professor are quite reasonable."

"Then why don't you watch it?" Jiang Ming moved the mouse and pressed the pause button, and the room was suddenly quiet.

The two of them didn't turn on the light, and the computer screen shook Lu Kun's face. From Jiang Ming's perspective, his strong/straight nose was exposed to the cold light, dividing his handsome face into two parts, half blurred and half dim. Like the images in an old projector, it exudes a faint style.

In the quiet time, the man with nice lip lines whispered slowly: "There are many people who can reason, and everyone has their own philosophy of life, so they rarely listen to other people's advice. If you can live your life well, then I guarantee that no one will dislike school."

"However, there is one thing the professor said that I quite agree with."

Jiang Ming: "Which sentence?"

"The only measure of our life is how you look at other people's lives."

Jiang Ming teased him: "The lines are said so quickly, do you have a good memory?"

"I have an IQ of one hundred and four."

"Cut!", Jiang Ming believed him and he was out of a ghost.

"I'm serious."

"Then why didn't you go to Mensa?"

Jiang Ming continued to tease.

Lu Kun turned over, reached into Jiang Ming's clothes again, touched his delicate and smooth back, and said, "I used to study very well when I was in high school, and I was basically the first one among the more than 1000 students in the whole grade. One, there was a basketball game in the monthly exam, so I slipped to second place, but it wasn't because I didn't study well, it was because playing basketball was too tiring, and I fell asleep before I finished answering the last subject of the exam."

"At that time, the class teacher always praised me in front of the classmates. The most common sentence he said was: "Student Lu Kun, he must be a very promising person in the future. With his current grades, there is no problem in taking Tsinghua University. "If my current appearance was seen by the teacher back then, he would definitely not recognize me. Even if he remembered, the Lu Kun in his memory should not be mixed up like this."

A movie caused Lu Kun to talk about the past, which was all a surprise to Jiang Ming, but besides the surprise, he was also a little worried, not knowing where Lu Kun would freeze his past.

Jiang Ming closed the computer screen, lay down next to Lu Kun and asked him, "Then why didn't you get admitted to Tsinghua University? Didn't you perform well in the college entrance examination?"

Lu Kun turned his head, arched his body and lay down flat, and said, "Who said I didn't pass the exam? The admission score for Tsinghua University that year was 687, and I got 714."

"Fuck!"

Jiang Ming was surprised from the bottom of his heart. He recalled his scores in the Police Academy, and was dropped by Lu Kun by several blocks.

Lu Kun touched Jiang Ming's chin and said with a smile, "Do you think I'm bragging?"

"......No."

It's not that Jiang Ming doesn't believe it, it's just that the contrast between all this and Lu Kun's experience is too strong. The top student of Tsinghua University was imprisoned for intentionally hurting someone? !

"and after?"

Jiang Ming couldn't help but ask questions first out of curiosity.

"Later... do you really want to listen? Brother Kun's past is not very glorious."

Lu Kun laughed at himself with a self-deprecating smile, he was uncertain, he wasn't sure what Jiang Ming would think of him after the words were spoken, and he might kick him off.

"Tell me, I want to know."

With a pleading tone, Jiang Ming has never done this to anyone before.

"Then you have to pay some class fees."

Jiang Ming turned his head, and saw Lu Kun approaching slowly, and then his lips and teeth touched, with his unique smell, in this dusk, the clouds and rain were about to come, and all Jiang Ming's perceptions were suppressed, and he couldn't escape. .

When there was nothing left on Jiang Ming's body, he pushed Lu Kun away, gasped and said, "Wait."

Lu Kun raised his head from his neck and asked, "What's wrong?"

Jiang Ming faltered, "It seems that there is... nothing at home."

"I think it's a big deal." Lu Kun said quietly, then lowered his head again, "If you don't have it, you won't wear it."

"..."

Afterwards, every time Jiang Ming recalled this time, it coincided with the first time they met a few years ago like a time dislocation. That night, they were still strangers. That night, they also handed over each other's bodies without hesitation. Jiang Ming There is no way to explain why he left with Lu Kun. The only thing he can say is that if he does it all over again, he will still be the same as before.

......

When Lu Kun stopped the movement of his lower body, he lay on Jiang Ming's back for a very long time, and refused to leave for a long time.

Jiang Ming, who was also exhausted, didn't bother to move, and just let him hold him down. The two of them didn't speak, savoring the process of fading lust at night, wanton, indulgent, scratching their hearts... .

They are always used to smoking a cigarette afterward, and it was the same tonight. Lu Kun asked Jiang Ming to lean on his shoulder, and each of them lit a cigarette. The smoke drifted away, like a mushroom cloud rising at the same time.

Then after the first puff of cigarette, Lu Kun talked about the past that he didn't mention to anyone.

"My dad found a stepmother for me and Lu Yuan in the third year after my mother passed away. That's what he said in name. Anyway, Lu Yuan and I didn't call her "mother" for a day, and she even brought a son. , you should be able to imagine what kind of chaos my family was at that time. She treated me and Lu Yuan very badly. She beat and scolded us behind my dad's back. Maybe it's because I'm older. She never beat me. I, at most, just scolded a few words, but Lu Yuan was not so lucky. I didn’t want to go home during the first summer vacation of the year I went to Tsinghua University, because our supervisor helped me find a good part-time job, but Just the day before I was going to work, I received a call from Lu Yuan, who was crying on the phone and asked me to go home and see him."

"After I bought the ticket and went home, I heard the sound of beating and scolding in the room. Lu Yuan was lying on the floor of the living room, trembling and terrified, and his nose was bleeding. My stepmother and her The sons held a stick in each hand. When my stepmother saw me coming back, she yelled at me, saying that Lu Yuan stole the money from the family, and that the money was for her son’s piano lessons. I didn’t care about it at the time. Thinking about going straight up, she kicked her son to the ground, then grabbed the stick and sent them both to the hospital."

"She suffered a concussion from me, and her son broke a leg and was disabled for life."

"When my dad found out, he was so angry that he was admitted to the hospital. My stepmother took me to court while my dad was in the hospital. I was convicted of intentional wounding for eight years... and then I became a Prisoner, I can't go to school, I was nineteen that year, and Lu Yuan was only seven years old."

Lu Kun spoke very calmly, as if he was telling someone else's story. Maybe a long time passed, the pain was compressed to a minimum, and he almost forgot that he was the person involved.

"You said I don't know what it's like inside? I may know better than you. Adult prisons are much darker than juvenile prisons. I suffered all kinds of hardships in the years I was there, and then I met a big brother, who is me now. The owner of the shop in charge is Chen Juncheng, I don’t know why he went in, he didn’t tell me and never let others inquire, he went out before me, and he got me a hand by the way.”

"After I came out, I followed him. I have been here for the past few years. If there is any change, it is because I met you."

When the matter came to an end, Lu Kun carefully watched the change of expression on Jiang Ming's face, he wanted to know what Jiang Ming would think of him, good or bad, even if it was disgust, he would gladly accept it.

These pasts will never be erased for no reason, so I still have to say it sooner or later. Keeping it secret will only make Jiang Ming look down upon it....

At this time, Jiang Ming had other worries in his heart, he raised his head and asked Lu Kun: "Why did that Chen Juncheng treat you so well for no reason? He didn't ask you to do anything for him, did he?"

Lu Kun smiled, stroked the top of Jiang Ming's head with his palm, patted it twice, and said: "I was beaten for him in prison, he was very loyal to my brother, besides, I helped him run the store for a few years. He earned a lot of money, just for mutual benefit, but he also treats me well, and the salary he pays me is several times that of you civil servants, and it is better than me looking for a job outside."

Jiang Ming still insisted on his point of view, and said: "No one will treat you well for no reason, you should be careful yourself, and that guy named Mao Mao in your shop, he needs to be more guarded than Chen Juncheng."

"how to say?"

Jiang Ming said, "He smokes marijuana."

Just now Jiang Ming suddenly thought that when Mao Mao passed by him in the store, what Jiang Ming smelled was marijuana.

Obviously Lu Kun didn't know about this matter, he frowned tightly and said, "How do you know?"

"Wheat has been sucked before."

"..."

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