all the way

The light winter sunlight falls on the bluestone desk through the glass window. The little man behind the desk sits upright with his hands behind his back, and his black eyes are focused on the teacher on the podium. The face looks healthy and firm.

Liu Xia stood outside the cave dwelling, quietly looking at his little baby sitting alone at a table, the joy in his heart turned into warmth mixed with heartache and sourness, flowing and circling in his heart.

The empty mountain behind him was silent, his eyes were only on the little man behind the cold and empty stone table at the moment, and in his heart was only the distress that permeated the bone marrow.

As if sensing his aura, Mao'er, who was listening intently, suddenly turned his head and looked over, opened his eyes wide in disbelief, then kicked the stool away and rushed out of the classroom.

Liu Xia opened his arms with a smile on his face, and Cat shouted "Uncle, Uncle, you are back" and jumped into his arms.

Liu Xia hugged the cat tightly, put his little head in the crescent of his neck, quietly felt the warm breath of the little guy, his heart was softened by endless joy.

Mao'er hugged Liu Xia's neck tightly, motionless, her small chest heaved violently, and Liu Xia could feel his slight trembling.

Liu Xia gently rubbed his forehead and asked, "Boy, do you miss Uncle?"

The cat raised its head, still hugging his neck, smiling like a blooming flower on its small face: "I think about it, I think about it every day, I can think about it."

Liu Xia rubbed his face hard with his nose: "Uncle can miss you too, every day."

The cat seemed a little embarrassed. It looked at him with bright eyes for a while, then buried its face in the socket of his neck, hugged his neck and did not move.

Liu Xia patted his back, feeling his joy, and there was only joy and warmth left in his heart.

Guan Shuping came out of the classroom and looked at Liu Xia in surprise: "Liu Xia, you, are you on vacation?"

Guan Shuping is Guan Erping's younger sister. She went to high school in Wangning, and lived at her aunt's house in Fujiazhuang during that time. After graduation, she was not admitted to university. After returning to the village, she became a teacher. She has been teaching first and second grade mixed classes for the past few years. .

The reason she returned to the village was because she was in a relationship with Liu Chengbin, who is also a teacher here now, but Guan Maitun always disagreed.

Liu Xia said: "Well, the university is closed early, Miss Shuping, did I delay your class?"

Guan Shuping smiled and said: "It's okay, the class is over early, it's all review; you didn't go home and came here to pick up Liu An, right?"

"Well, my cat failed in his studies? Is it mad at you? By the way, my little Rui? Why didn't I see him?"

Cat raised his head and said, "Brother Rui is freezing, coughing, and hasn't come to school for three days."

Guan Shuping said: "Liu Rui's body is a bit fleshy, and she often asks for leave when it snows for the first time." She squeezed Mao'er's face: "Your study is good, Xiao Rui and the two of them follow the second grade, and the first grade Brother Liu Kui and sister-in-law have already finished teaching. Liu An, uncle is back, are you happy now? You don’t have to climb up the slope every day to look at the Guanjiayao, right?”

Mao'er looked at Liu Xia with her mouth pursed, her face was blushing and she didn't speak.

Liu Xia looked at the steep earth slope dug like a wall on the east side of the school, and pinched his little nose: "From now on, my uncle will come back as soon as he is on vacation, and he will come to see you first. It's too steep there. Don't dare to go to the sky, do you know, child?"

Mao'er nodded lightly: "Well, I always miss you..."

Guan Shuping laughed: "A few days ago, I heard from Liu Rui that Liu An heard from Aunt Changqing that you will be back soon when the calendar is all over, so he secretly tore up your family's calendar, and then Aunt Changqing told him Said, you have to tear one sheet a day to count, Liu An was so angry that he didn't eat all day."

Mao'er's face turned even redder, and she buried her head in Liu Xia's neck and refused to get up.

Liu Xia felt both happy and sad in his heart, he patted the cat's head and said, "Little fool, if you can finish the time by tearing up the calendar, then my uncle will be able to finish four years of college in a short time. Why do you still run away and delay for four years?"

Guan Shuping said: "Baby actually misses you all the time, alas, in our place, I really... can't say it;

Liu Xia, you don't know that the boy is always waiting for you to come back, so how about it, you can take the boy home now, and you won't need it later, Liu An knows everything, and the exam must still be a double hundred, so call him when the exam time Right, you have been away for almost half a year, Aunt Changqing and the others must miss you too, if you have anything to say, let's talk about it when you come to see off the baby again! "

Liu Xia felt that Guan Shuping's words meant talking to him alone, and he probably had a clue in his mind, so he nodded: "Well, Sister Shuping, I'm leaving first, we'll talk when we come back."

The winter in the mountains is bleak, but today the sun is very good, and it doesn’t feel so cold. On the white weeds on the hillside, flocks of sparrows are chirping for food, and on the tops of the big trees by the roadside, there are beautiful sparrows standing one after another. Magpies, there is infinite vitality in the quiet scenery.

Liu Xia walked home with the cat in his arms, and the cat kept staring at Liu Xia's face, giggling and rubbing his little face against Liu Xia's from time to time, as if he didn't quite believe that the uncle really came back.

Liu Xia kissed him hard on the forehead a few times: "Silly boy, don't look at it, my uncle is really back from vacation, if you laugh again, you will be silly."

Mao'er still couldn't help it, and laughed again: "Uncle, I'll go to the ground and go by myself, you've been hugging me all the time and making a fuss."

Liu Xia shook him up: "It's okay, wait until the old crooked pear tree and you can go by yourself, now my uncle can still hug you."

Liu Xia knew that Guan Shuping couldn't let Mao'er sit alone at a table for no reason, but he didn't ask Mao'er.

He knew that the reason would definitely not be good. He didn't want Mao'er to recall a bad thing again. The eldest brother wrote to him and never told him. Guan Shuping was hesitant to speak in front of Mao'er today. What happened specifically is Liu Xia doesn't know what kind, but Liu Xia can probably guess the reason.

Liu Xia was talking to Mao'er about happy things along the way, what interesting movies did he watch at school, what fun places did he go to with his classmates, what interesting little habits did the old professor have, and he was talking loudly Sing "Nothing" and "Tomorrow Will Be Better" for the cat.

Xiumei, who was carrying the firewood and was about to go back to the cave, saw a large and a small figure on the mountain road, and shouted in surprise, which startled Liu Changqing, Liu Changchun and Sun Chang'e.

Liu Xia took the cat and started to run. When they reached Pokou, they were out of breath. Liu Xia happily called out: "Uncle, mother, uncle, sister-in-law."

Liu Changqing said: "Come back to the house, it's cold, don't call it freezing!"

Half an hour later, Liu Xia was already sitting on the warm kang eating noodles, and the cat was purring while sitting in his arms with his own small bowl.

Opposite them, Liu Rui held her new trousers from ear to ear and happily said, "It's so beautiful, it's better than making them."

Liu Xia put down the bowl, and took out his secret weapon from the corner of the kang, which he left in his bag deliberately and quietly just now.

"Ah, the radio." Xiumei exclaimed in surprise: "It's so big and so beautiful, it looks much better than the one my elder brother bought."

Sun Chang'e came over and looked at the radio and said, "Little Turtle, how much does it cost? You can't eat or drink. Why do you buy this?"

Liu Xia said: "Sometimes this is more important than eating and drinking. It can let people know what's going on in the outside world, and let us know that the outside world is big. Outside of Liujialing and Wangning, people in other places also They're all the same as us, nothing special."

Mao'er stared at the things in Liu Xia's hand in astonishment: "Uncle, this, are you buying this for our family?"

Liu Xia said proudly: "Of course, come on, baby, you come here too, my uncle will teach you how to install batteries in the radio."

Liu Rui crawled over excitedly, and Liu Xin, who couldn't leave yet, also crawled over to join in the fun.

Liu Xia said: "Look, the flat end is facing the metal coil here, and the raised end is facing this side, hey... well, it's simple, you will know it in one click, install it, cover it The top cover... This is the switch... This is the channel selection..."

Sitting on the edge of the Kang, Liu Changqing watched his youngest son teach his grandsons how to tune the radio with high spirits, with an imperceptible smile on the corner of his mouth.

At dusk, when Liu Kui and Liu Wei walked to the east of Liu Changchun's house, they heard the high-pitched opera singing faintly coming from their yard. They looked at each other and ran home. Kui used to like to listen to a passage when he was playing rocks in Wudaokou: "...the crops are good in the hollow land. In my commune, we need to set up wire racks, high voltage racks and low voltage..."

As soon as the two of them turned around the slope, two black shadows rushed over, and the tall one jumped on Liu Kui, swiftly like a monkey: "Brother, you are back!"

Liu Kui laughed, and patted Liu Xia who was hanging on his body: "Baby, you're back? Oh, you're back, we cats don't have to be on the road every day to catch the stars and the moon."

Liu Xia hung on Liu Kui and couldn't get off, and even stretched out his hand to pull the cat over.

Liu Kui also picked up the cat with one arm: "Come on, your uncle is back, ask uncle to see if my cat is smiling from behind its ears."

Liu Wei smiled at the side: "Uncle, no wonder my uncle is worried all day long that you will leave school to eat and dress well, and you still call my uncle to hug you, you are really like a child, hehe, like a cat."

After entering the room, Liu Wei saw the trousers Liu Xia bought for him, and she really laughed so hard that she almost grinned behind her ears: "I'm the only one in school who wears these trousers, I'm so envious, I don't know if they put them on. Where can I buy it, hehe..."

Liu Xia also played tricks on Liu Kui, because Liu Kui said, "Come on, tell the elder brother to see if you have grown taller." He didn't want to compare himself with the elder brother, so he limply refused to stand up straight.

He hasn't grown much in the past six months, and now he is at most 1.7 meters two. He is still the youngest among his brothers, and he feels ashamed.

But Liu Xia was guilty and stubborn: "I'm only seventeen, my mother said I was 23, and I'm going crazy. I will definitely grow up to be the tallest in our family in the future."

Seeing his rascal appearance, the whole family laughed. Xiumei baked pancakes and said, "Hey, tell me to take a look. So college students are like this? Can't compare to it?"

Liu Xia leaned on Liu Kui's shoulder: "That's it...sister-in-law, I still want to eat pancakes."

Liu Wei came over and stood next to Liu Xia to compare with him: "Uncle, if you don't grow up well, I will be taller than you."

Looking at Liu Wei who has grown a lot since half a year, Liu Xia was shocked.

Liu Kui carried him onto the kang with a smile, went over and brought him a hot pancake that was just baked and put it on the kang table.

The cat crawled into Liu Xia's arms before he sat down, and was so stinging with burns, he insisted on tearing off a small piece of cake, and blew it into Liu Xia's mouth: "Uncle, eat."

The signal of the radio in the cave was not good, and there was noise. Liu Xia put it on the outside window, facing southeast, and the sound was very clear.

The family had dinner amidst the lively opera.

The kerosene lamp was dim, and Liu Xia didn't pay attention at first. It wasn't until Liu Kui reached out to pick up the second bowl of rice served by Xiumei that he felt something was wrong with his elder brother's hands. His cut was rougher than when he was at home, and his hands were thick with calluses.

Liu Xia asked: "Brother, didn't the third brother tell you to pick up bricks and stones and send them to the road construction? Why are your hands like this?"

On the way back, he asked about his family's situation. Liu Chuan said that the county is now vigorously building roads, and one of them is from Wangning to Yangmiao. The roadbed needs to be paved with hard things like bricks and stones for two or three years before it can be paved with asphalt.

The bricks and stones used to pave the road were first distributed to the brigades along the way, and each household handed in a cart of bricks or stones the size of an adult's fist. After all the brigades handed over, there was still a distance of about ten miles to the other side of Yangmiao. There is not enough paving, and now it is paid to buy broken bricks and stones, three yuan per car.

Now Liu Kui and Liu Fulai often go together, starting every day before dawn to pick up stones from the mountains east of Wangning. The two of them can pick up a cart a day and send them to Yangmiao.

Liu Kui withdrew his hand: "It's okay, it will be fine once the winter is over."

Liu Xia felt that the big brother's work must not be as simple as picking up rocks. If it was so simple to pick up rocks for a day, he could earn more than one dollar. Are the people around Wangning stupid? How could they let people from other places take advantage of this? I'm afraid They beat their heads by themselves.

But if Liu Kui didn't say anything, he couldn't help it.

The family was lively in the main room until after eight o'clock, and Liu Wei had to get up early for school the next day, and Liu Kui walked with him, so although the three children were all excited because Liu Xia came back, Liu Changqing let them all go sleep.

Mao'er drank a bowl of milk under Liu Xia's gaze, and the two went back to their cave to sleep. The happy appearance of Mao'er made the family feel very comfortable.

In the past few days, Xiumei pulled Liu Xia's quilt out to dry in the sun every day, so even though it was an old patched quilt, it still smelled warm from the sun. In addition, the cave itself was relatively warm, so the quilt was warm.

Under the dim oil lamp, Liu Xia looked at the cat's skinny body, the black ash on the chest, armpits and knees, etc.: "When you are on holiday, boil a few big basins of water and wash them well, little one." Uncle rubs the mile for you and cleans it up, let's be a little white boy."

Mao'er nodded obediently: "Come on, let's wash together then."

Liu Xia half-lyed against the wall, put the cat into his arms, and touched a small piece of dirt on his chest: "Well, let's wash it once a week, and there will be no such scabs on my body." gone."

The cat buried its little head in the crook of his neck: "Well, uncle is so clean, it smells good, I'll wash it too, uncle, I'm sure I'll get double hundred marks in the exam this time, you can do it for me Certificates? My little Wei brother said that I hope Ning is doing well in her studies. Students are now giving out certificates."

Liu Xia patted his head: "Well, my uncle bought you some beautiful paper, and I will make you the most beautiful award certificate, baby, do you want to see the clothes my uncle bought?"

The cat raised its head, its eyes sparkling: "Wait, you look good, huh, when I go to school in Chinese New Year, let them all have a look, they don't want to see me, I don't want to see them yet, they don't want to talk to me." Playing, I don't care about playing with them!"

Liu Xia hugged Mao'er tightly, and kissed his forehead: "We don't care about asking them to see you. My uncle is waiting to see you, and everyone in my family is waiting to see you."

Mao'er didn't fall asleep until after ten o'clock, hugging Liu Xia's waist tightly, his little face was full of joy in his sleep, and he breathed lightly on Liu Xia's neck, itching and very comfortable.

Liu Xia embraced him, took out a copy of "Twilight of Idols" and opened it to read.

This is the book Yun Jian bought. After reading a few pages, he threw it on the bed and never read it again. Liu Xia thought about the possible leisure time after returning home, so he brought it back.

Many of his classmates were reading the books of Nietzsche, Hegel and Heidegger. He wanted to know how good their books were, which attracted so many people.

Whenever and wherever the wisest men have come to the same judgment about life: that it is useless.... Whenever and wherever it is heard from their lips is the same -- a doubtful, melancholy , full of arguments about the weariness of life...

Liu Xia watched it for about half an hour, but only remembered the Socrates equation that Nietzsche hated so much: Reason = Virtue = Happiness.And this equation was considered by Nietzsche to run counter to all the instincts of the ancient Greeks.

There is also a passage that he understands a little bit: the whole Greek thinkers are caught in a fanatical rationality, which shows a dilemma: people are in danger, and there is only one choice: either destroy, or become a ridiculously rational person...;

Reason = Virtue = Happiness simply means: one must, like Socrates, create an eternal day - the day of reason - against dark desires.

One must be rational, sober, and understand anyway, that giving in to instinct and the unconscious will lead to collapse...

Liu Xia tried his best to understand the words in the book, but unfortunately, he knew every word, but he found it difficult to understand the words together. He had never read Socrates' books, and he didn't know Socrates' point of view. , but from his reading of Nietzsche for half an hour, the Socrates in his mind is ugly, vain, good at sophistry and demagogy, advocating all non-sensual things.

Liu Xia threw away the book, he didn't understand these philosophers, he thought, but from what he saw in the half an hour of text, philosophers are similar to Niu Sannier, two shrews quarreled, and they were a living pair A long-dead swearer, pointing out that everything she said was bullshit.

Liu Xia rubbed the cat's little furry head, feeling soft in his heart, because it was cold and maybe he hadn't washed his hair for several days, it had a slight smell, but Liu Xia didn't feel dirty or uncomfortable at all.

He gently rubbed his chin against the cat's hair, forehead, and soft little face: Is it rational?Is the village people's dislike of cats instinctive or rational?Isn't the cat the most distressing child?Shouldn't their instinct be to like to feel sorry for cats like this child who has no mother at birth?

But they all choose to hate cats, just because they think cats will bring disaster; their dislike of cats is rational, out of their instinct to love their family members...

Fuck, what is this all about?What disaster had the cat brought them?The cat is in our family. Three people in our family have been able to eat commercial food, and two have been admitted to a good university. The cat is our family's lucky star.

When he fell into the final consciousness of lethargy, he felt the empty kang behind him, without Liu Ling, Liu Hai and Liu Yu, he had never slept so alone in this familiar room, but the cat insisted on being alone Been sleeping here for months.

Now there is a soft cat in his arms, Liu Xia gathered the cat's calf wrapped around his waist, making him stick closer to himself.

To hell with rationality!Liu Xia fell into a deep sleep with a sneer.