The General's Cat Always Wants To Climb Into My Bed

Shen Zhifan turned the pages in silence.

For Shen Zhifan at that time, the road ahead was a long and endless night, and anything could become the light straw that broke the camel's back at any time.

His joy in bitterness seems cute now, but when he wrote those words at that time, his heart was never cute or funny, but full of embarrassment and anxiety about life and death tomorrow.

He never actually writes down what he's going to do tomorrow, or what he's going to do after the next game.

Of course, it's not that he doesn't want to think about the bright future, but he is too confused when he thinks about it. When he doesn't know whether he can survive tomorrow, any "tomorrow plan" seems a bit pitiful at this time.

So he could only write vaguely.

Write about his somewhat illusory future, brushing it with as vague a stroke as possible. For example, if there is one, he can run a small magazine like "Mechanical Eagle". Difficulties, just barely able to live a little life.

People's needs change with the current situation. At that time, he was living in the dark, and the pain and scars were freely attached to his body like breathing. It is a sad thing to get used to the pain. But sometimes I have to get used to it.

This kind of "helplessness" seems to make people feel desperate and unable to breathe more than "pain" itself.

So his wish looks so pitiful, only a little higher than it was then.

Shen Zhifan inevitably wanted to cry a little bit, but he cried so hard that no one knew what to do, so he gave up.

Because it was unnecessary, he didn't know if Shen Zhifan was crying at that time, but he guessed, he forgot, but his body still remembered it vaguely.

If Shen Zhifan, who had personally experienced the darkness, didn't cry, then he is not qualified and necessary to shed two tears here.

This is not empathy, but because of this strange perception that I am you.

People are very strange, sometimes the pitiful and miserable situation of others can often make you shed two tears, but when you face that kind of despair yourself, you suddenly realize that there is nothing to cry about, and you feel deeply The kind of compassion in the past was only because of his superiority.

Only by being in this mud personally can one be sober.

However, no matter how muddy and rough the road is, it can still be trampled on step by step.

Shen Zhifan watched bit by bit the bewildered boy struggling in pain and hesitation, dragged forcibly by invisible ropes, grinding away every inch of his body, soaked in countless sticky blood stains.

But even so, the occasional shards of sunlight still made him move forward step by step.

Staggering and persistent, humble and almost great.

He has survived every life and death. It is not all luck, but his talent has made him slowly emerge.

But this is not a good thing, it means that he has been noticed by the audience, and also by those vicious desperadoes.

The most bitter time was also the time when he became famous in the underground mecha field.

The bones of his whole body are almost broken, and he was almost out of experience, but he was beaten back to his original shape, so miserable, his whole body was soaked in blood like a newcomer, no, it was even more tragic than at the beginning, if this If those bloodstains were removed in time, then his body must be gray and pale due to excessive blood loss.

"I felt that I was going to die yesterday. I was really going to die, so I couldn't record it. To be honest, sometimes I was at a loss as to why I wrote this. If I died today, this diary would be with me. There's no point in my death being wiped out."

"It's a little bit better today. Well, that's what the doctor said, but I clearly feel more pain than yesterday. I don't know if I can survive today."

The text here is chaotic and the handwriting is very scribbled. Obviously, he was struggling at that time, and his consciousness was a little fuzzy.

"My eardrums are shattered again, old injuries are coming back so it feels like it hurts more than before, Niya tried hard to tell me something, but I couldn't hear at all, I could only see her lips closed, I tried to give her A smile, but it's of no use."

"Aibo was crying for me too. I tried to comfort him, but maybe I looked too scary, so I frightened him to cry instead."

"That doctor, well, that quack doctor said that my internal organs are soaked in blood now, no wonder I'm a little bit stuffed... It's strange, I said it was meaningless, but I couldn't help but write like this..."

"I'm going to die, yes, maybe this time I'm really going to die, I lived and then died, there's nothing to say."

But "There's nothing more to say" was apparently quickly crossed out, and he continued writing in confusion.

"No, let me say a few more words, my sister——Shen Zhirou, my brother has always wanted to tell you that although you are not that beautiful, you will always be the cutest in my brother's heart, and I want to hug you that cute , I don’t know how to bless you, but I hope you will be happy...Even if my brother dies, my brother will watch you in the sky with my parents.”

"Although it's a bit suspected of lying to children, please believe me."

"You are smart and gentle. You are no worse than those beautiful girls you desire. You are the light that supports my brother all the way...My brother loves you very much, but he is not very good at expressing it. But really, my brother is more beautiful than I imagined. love you more."

He emphasized over and over again, the handwriting was so messed up that even Shen Zhifan himself could barely read it clearly, but he emphasized it very firmly.

"I know you have always liked the boy with freckles in the orphanage, but he is not a good boy. He often uses embarrassing and obscene words to evaluate girls behind his back. He is very bad."

"I didn't tell you all the time because I was afraid that you would feel sad, so I don't want you to choose him. Even though he has a good skin, the skin is not important. If you choose this way, it's better to choose the body of your brother, if you can get it."

"But I guess you won't be able to get it, because I might be buried in a mass burial, or even worse, taken away by some pervert... I haven't told you, but there are indeed people here who covet your brother Beautiful people are not normal people."

"As I was talking, I seemed to be a little out of tune. I wanted to laugh a little, which made it less painful for me to breathe, but my lungs now feel leaking everywhere, as if you lost all four front teeth many years ago. look."

"You must be smarter. If your brother is gone, you must live well. Although you are very tired, you will be very happy occasionally."

"I know you want to be in a relationship, but definitely don't be in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship, it's pointless, it sounds cool but it's not cool at all."

"I may not see you getting married anymore. Will you get married? I heard that getting married is the most beautiful appearance of a girl. I want to see you, but it seems that the chance is not great."

"Don't marry for the sake of marriage. No one will force you after your brother dies. If you are afraid that no one will take care of you, you will go directly to the orphanage to adopt one. After you go there, you will find that there are so many homeless children like us. There are jerks too, but there are good kids too."

"I hope you are well, everything is well, even with the future that my brother may not be able to have."

"To marry love, although I don't know exactly what love is, but if that person makes you relaxed, happy and at ease, or if you have difficulties but always cuddle together, then it should be it."

"Maybe he can survive."

Pausing here for a long time, the long stay of the pen made the end of the last stroke of the last "味" blur a lot, and blended with the last full stop.

"No, it's too difficult. I dare not stop writing, dare not fall asleep, my consciousness is against my will, but I can't fall asleep, I must at least finish writing, it has no meaning, but maybe it is already my death The only fucking thing that still proves that I exist deeply."

The handwriting here is indescribably pale, Shen Zhifan tried hard to decipher it.

He thought that the day would end here, because there was still half a page empty, so it was supposed to have come to an abrupt end, so he subconsciously wanted to read the content of the next article, but was surprised by the content of the next page suddenly. Jump.

"I don't want to die" was written all over the page.

All kinds of handwriting, although most of them are scrawled in a mess, but the length of stay can be seen from the thickness.

These "I don't want to die" compete with each other in different shades and who is more scribbled, scrambling to be the first to repeat one after another, as if the next second is really too late.

But he believed that this was what he had in mind at the time, and he kept writing, lest it would be broken in the next second, and it would be too late.

The entire page of "I don't want to die" is so shocking that you can deeply feel the desperation and struggle of that boy without looking closely, and the dark brown dots on it, you don't need to guess to know that it is too solidified. long bloodstains.

At that time, he really knew that he was going to die. He said calmly and fearlessly just now, "I lived and then died. There is nothing to say." But in a blink of an eye, he was so unwilling, unwilling to write down The truest thoughts in his heart.

He trembled when he saw it, and the diary almost slipped out of his hand.

Shen Zhifan hurriedly straightened the diary again, he subconsciously didn't want to read that page again, and turned over in a hurry.

The page just now was beyond Shen Zhifan's expectations, but he didn't expect it to be over.

He deeply felt that the potential of human beings is indeed endless. On that page, he seemed to be just venting his depression and unwillingness, but on this page, his handwriting became miraculously clear.

"There is a person... There is a person, he may never know that I died in such a place, because he is... a place that I can't touch at all, like moonlight or the sun, but I want to talk about him , although this feeling is more meaningless than this diary."

"Well, obviously he is a little more important in my consciousness than I imagined. You can see that my handwriting has suddenly improved. I don't think I have written such beautiful handwriting when I was awake."

"I was only 14 years old when I fell in love with him. It is a bit one-sided to say that I like him, but it is actually very complicated. How should I put it... Adoration, longing, incredible? Yes, it was incredible for me at the time. At that time, I was surrounded by people. Fourteen or fifteen-year-old boys like me, we all have no ambitions and just muddle along, in fact, we didn’t think it was bad at all, after all, now that I think about it, it’s very comfortable to live an illusory and messy life every day.”

"But one day I suddenly saw him. It's unimaginable that he is only five years older than me, but he is already such a character... It's unbelievable. It turns out that there are people like us in this world, and there are people like him. of."

"I know that the most important thing between me and him is our origin. When I grow up, I can't help but understand that this world that advocates justice and humanity only looks sanctimonious, and it's not as good as it brags. The distance between me and him should be slightly greater than the distance between him and his family dog, if he had a dog."

"So although I wanted to meet him, I always knew that was just wishful thinking."

"So I didn't think I actually saw that side of him, it was two years ago and he probably doesn't remember it at all."

"I'm sure it's him. Although it's like a dream, I'm really... sure it's his fault. Of course, he may not remember me. After all, we've only been together for three days."

"At that time, he was covered in blood, unconscious...should he be unconscious? Of course, it's best to remember."

"I can barely remember how I felt at the time, just thinking about it makes me a little...excited, very good, keep it up, just stay awake and don't fall asleep."

"Go on, I saw him, I even kissed him secretly, it doesn't matter anyway he doesn't know."

"He's even more handsome than in "Mechanical Eagle", that photo made his face bigger."

"I... In short, I can't say anything in those three days, so I won't write."

...Did something strange happen in those three days?

Why don't you write about the main event?

Shen Zhifan looked a little angry, very unreasonable.

"He may not remember me at all, and he will never know what kind of thoughts I had and where I died. In fact, I don't want him to know that I look so miserable."

"I may like him more than I imagined. In a nutshell, he is my dream lover. I like his appearance and figure, even if it is a secret love that ends without a problem. A little deeper, he is my love." Spiritual mentor, although we haven't said a word, I probably learned everything about him through such an unreliable place as "Mechanical Eagle", but he is still my guiding light, allowing me to escape from the kind of willingness. At a loss."

"He may be the pinnacle of the mountain that I will never be able to reach. Chasing something that I will never be able to reach is actually very painful, and I feel powerless, but if it is him, I will be happy."

"So the happiest time in my life is probably those three days. I was very happy to meet him."

"I might really be dying. Otherwise, why would I write so happily? I'm not sleepy at all. It's probably a flashback."

"Okay, he should never know that I exist. Although it's a bit sad, it's over when it's over."

"It's dawn, I probably have to go."

"Goodbye really."

"... Fuck, the doctor is here, and he actually said I'm fine?"

"You quack doctor, don't be joking. I'm riddled with wounds and my lungs are still leaking. I can't speak a word, okay? Is it okay?"

"Well, I admit that I'm not angry at all, I want to laugh, if my lungs don't hurt so much, I want to laugh so that the whole underground mecha field can hear it."

"I should have survived, thank the world, thank my sister, thank Niya and Aibo, thank... him."

"Thank you."

"I'm alive."



Seeing the end, Shen Zhifan breathed a sigh of relief, even if he clearly understood that he must have survived, otherwise he would not exist now.

But looking at it, I was still moved by the ignorant and hesitant diary of that young man, and felt sad and happy for his sorrows and joys.

This is how I survived. I almost died, but I didn’t die. Before I died, I recalled a lot and struggled a lot. I worked very hard to survive.

But generally speaking, it was similar to Shen Zhifan's imagination. The colloquial diary allowed him to fully imagine his own tone.

But what is strange to him is that this diary is really not thick, and it is almost at the end when it is recorded here.

He felt something was wrong in his heart and turned to the last page directly.

It was 31 years, and after he survived that time, he didn’t have many records. After a cursory look, he can roughly understand that after that battle, he finally became famous, and he was no longer the bottom one. Batch, life is no longer so depressing and scary.

He enjoyed his relatively happy and relaxed days to the fullest, and he would not have a particularly ample time to write too many diaries.

So this diary came to an abrupt end here, no more.

"Mr. Gurley came to see me today, and he took me to meet the man."

"He asked me if I wanted to know the truth."

"I always thought it was just a terrorist organization that a country is afraid of. I am weak. I don't want to admit it, but I still have self-knowledge, so I never thought of revenge."

"That's why I'm hiding like a rat in the ditch, trying so hard to survive."

"But now it seems like a joke."

"Just for such a purpose, for such a ridiculous truth, what kind of stupid country is this, and what kind of stupid leaders are there."

"He's right."

Stopped abruptly.

Shen Zhifan groped around the dark cabinet for a long time but couldn't find the remaining copy.

No, it's impossible. Shen Zhirou said that he often kept a diary. It must have been 32 years ago when he moved here, and there should be another one.

And that should have been more important.

If he remembers correctly, what Yan Shuo said at the time was that he reunited with him two years ago, that was 31 years ago, but he hasn't recorded it yet, obviously it will be later, otherwise it is impossible for him to ignore such an important event. recorded.

He has roughly known about 26-31 years, and the rest is 31 years-now.

Also, he is very concerned about that Mr. Gurley, he is probably the person who waited for Shen Zhifan to come here at the beginning, and the "that person" on the last page also makes him very concerned.

Who, what did you see, what truth did you know.

It's not clear at all, but in a few words, Shen Zhifan still felt a strong sense of hostility for unknown reasons.

He opened the phone, Shen Zhifan's phone was very weird, there were almost no numbers with notes on it, except for Shen Zhirou, it seemed that he didn't have much connection with this world.

Most of the remarks are letters, such as this "f", he doesn't know who it is.

But these days since he lost his memory, no one has contacted him.

Is it not important?

Wait, he paused.

Suddenly, I found a hidden address book, which was easily unlocked with fingerprints. This address book is also very strange, with only one number and no notes.

I don't know who it is at all, and there is no information when I click it. I don't know if it is really no contact at all or it was deleted.

He came up on an impulse and just hit him.

……

"Why, don't you believe it?"

Olivia sighed.

"Okay, I know this may make you a little unhappy to accept it, and I can probably see a little... the relationship between you and Shen Zhifan, but it is indeed the truth."

"Shen Zhifan's next target is likely to be you."

"I narrowly escaped death, General Yan, it was not easy."

When she looks serious and doesn't blow bubbles, she still has the temperament of a princess of a country. She is very generous and decent, and she is very elegant and beautiful in line with the word princess.

"I've seen Ferdinandia's 'death list', and our husband and wife are at the top of the list, are you moved?"

Yan Shuo finally calmed down, he quickly analyzed all the messages, answered and corrected calmly and politely.

"I am touched, but we are not husband and wife, Your Highness."

Olivia narrowed her eyes slightly and shrugged helplessly.

"Yes, we were not husband and wife in the first place. If your short-lived ghost brother is not dead, the object of my marriage contract is him, not you."

Yan Shuo kept contacting some people in his hands. The royal secrets he learned tonight were a bit shocking and explosive, and he needed to start making some preparations.

But even so, he replied to Olivia without revealing anything.

"Actually, Your Highness, you don't have to pretend to be so indifferent. I know you are very sad about my brother's death. Appropriately showing weakness in front of me may strengthen the trust between us."

Olivia was stunned for a moment, her eyes a little dazed.

Olivia was not his fiancée at first, so Yan Shuo inevitably recalled some past events.

Not only this noble fiancée, but even everything he owns now was originally out of his reach.

If it wasn't for the accidental death of the elder brother, he would still be a child who grew up in an unknown food alley. Because his mother was taken care of, he lived a wealthy but not very happy life.

Although it's about the same now.

What he said to Shen Zhifan was not a joke, if he was not a general, he really wanted to open a grilled fish shop.

Even now, he thought about it, he would retire one day, and when he was old, he would find a place with an average location and open a grilled fish shop with an average taste.

...Shen Zhifan probably also likes grilled fish.

See how he likes to eat grilled fish so much even when he was drunk last time.

There was a trace of pain in Olivia's eyes. Yan Shuo once had an older brother - Yan Jincheng. Although she and Yan Jincheng were quite different in age, they were also childhood sweethearts.

In any case, it's better than this Yan Shuo who came out halfway and didn't know the depth, but it's a pity that Yan Shuo is much more capable than they expected, her mother still entrusted her to the Yan family before she died, which proved that she also recognized Yan Shuo Strength.

In the end, Yan Shuo didn't want to marry her.

Yan Shuo is a very strange person. To be honest, Olivia considers herself to be pretty smart, but after so many years, she still doesn't know what kind of person Yan Shuo is.

It’s true that he is serious and meticulous, he looks like this to others, but occasionally...Occasionally, Olivia feels that he has a slightly extreme temperament.

But to say that he is extreme, he is really too self-disciplined, he has never done anything with loopholes, and has almost no shortcomings.

Olivia thinks that a person with no flaws is usually a pervert with a high IQ, but Yan Shuo is so decent that she is embarrassed to make such a judgment in front of that face.

In fact, regardless of external factors, Shen Zhifan is actually the man who best suits her aesthetics. She doesn't like muscular men who are too rough, and she doesn't like weak and weak men.

Shen Zhifan is located between the two, the proportion is perfect, and there is also a little melancholy temperament that can arouse the feelings of girls and natural motherhood.

But Yan Shuo is another kind of handsome, he is more mature, his eyebrows and eyes are more aggressive than Shen Zhifan, and he can make people feel strong male hormones even without speaking.

But aggression always gives people the illusion of danger. Even though Shen Zhifan is more dangerous than Yan Shuo, Olivia still feels uneasy when looking at Yan Shuo.

If it weren't for the fact that he couldn't find someone to rely on, Yan Shuo wouldn't be the best choice.

He doesn't like her, even though he has a marriage contract, but he has no sense of responsibility for her.

She yelled incoherently about short-lived ghosts, but Yan Shuo knew that she might have an inestimable deep affection for the elder brother who passed away at a young age.

"Will you, for your brother's sake?"

Olivia looked at him.

Yan Shuo paused for a moment, then suddenly replied.

"will not."

Olivia suddenly smiled: "I suddenly found out that you are a bastard."

Yan Shuo's subordinates were as fast as flying, but it didn't prevent him from smiling at her noncommittally and even politely.

"Actually, you are the happiest when Yan Jincheng is dead." Olivia raised her head slightly, the sparkle in her eyes gave her the illusion that she seemed very sad, "You have everything about him because he died , dead people are worthless, you are lucky."

The movement of his hands finally stopped, and he put on his coat again, but Olivia moved his eyes and took a slight step back.

"Your Highness, I don't want to mention the past, but in fact, I may not like this luck very much."

"Back then, no one asked me if I was willing, so I was forcibly kicked out of the market."

A drop of cold sweat fell on Olivia's forehead, and she tried her best to remain calm in front of the damn gun.

"Okay, okay, it's my fault." Although Olivia has been favored all the way since she was a child, she unexpectedly knows what it means to be a gentleman who knows current affairs. "But to be honest, your frail fiancee doesn't like this thing very much."

Yan Shuo hooked the corners of his mouth, his face was always as cold as an iceberg, but there was an indescribable charm in such a smile.

"I will tell my father the sad news of your unfortunate death."

"Damn it," Olivia couldn't hold back and cursed out between her teeth, she didn't dare to step back, because she didn't think Yan Shuo was joking, "Don't you think it's too immoral, right? Is this country too disloyal?!"

Did she bet wrong?

Where is the mistake?Is Yan Shuo also from Ferdinandia?

She felt at ease after being stared at by Ferdinandia's viper-like eyes, and suddenly felt a trace of despair.

Yan Shuo's subordinates moved without hesitation.

She closed her eyes suddenly, as if the god of death embraced her at this moment, but it didn't.

very quiet.

Her limbs were a little stiff, and after half a minute she exhaled fiercely, gnashing her teeth and staring at the man in front of her.

"Very well, then, where did I offend you?"

Olivia suddenly felt that her sixth sense couldn't be more accurate. Yan Shuo is indeed a bastard. Look, he pretends better than anyone else. He is just, handsome, serious, loyal, and meticulous. gentleman.

But is he?

He's not at all fucking.

"Don't be nervous, Your Highness," he withdrew that rare smile again, "I just want to remind you not to use him as a bargaining chip between us."

he?

Olivia flashed quickly in my mind, and finally froze.

"He... is indeed Ferdinandia's sharp blade," Olivia rolled her eyes, she was very smart, "but he was used, and it has nothing to do with Ferdinandia's rebellion..."

Yan Shuo's expression softened slightly.

She continued: "And he lost his memory, because he wanted to quit, so he was persecuted."

Yan Shuo nodded, "You would say that in front of my father, wouldn't you?"

Olivia kind of wanted to roll her eyes.

Sure enough, it was because of Shen Zhifan. To be honest, she really didn't see the relationship between Yan Shuo and Shen Zhifan.

Although I could probably tell a little bit, I used to feel that Yan Shuo looked at Shen Zhifan... something was wrong with his eyes. Although his sixth sense was effective, Yan Shuo was too restrained, and there was no flaw.

Unexpectedly, Yan Shuo was really serious. He knew that Shen Zhifan's next target would be him, so he didn't care.

A woman's natural ability is to gossip, and Olivia was almost moved by Yan Shuo's infatuation that somewhat affected her worldview.

This big brother, with all due respect, he wants to kill you, not fuck you, how can you defend him so relentlessly?

... Something is wrong.

Do you shake m?

Olivia's face was indescribable, but in the end she swallowed it all.

"By the way, Your Highness, you haven't said the reason for his amnesia."

Olivia was not in a good mood.

"Hypnosis, a very special hypnotism, my unique technique, but I thought it would definitely fail. No matter how magical hypnotism is, it is only useful for people with weak willpower, but it succeeded."

Thinking of this, Olivia also raised her eyebrows with some doubts.

"But Shen Zhifan is not a person with such weak willpower. I have investigated his previous experience. He is absolutely impossible to be that kind of person. There is only one possibility. He was struggling in his heart at that time, and he was also avoiding himself..."

"Subconsciously, he wanted to forget about these things, so I succeeded."

Yan Shuo lowered his eyes: "But it's very unstable, he seems to remember it at any time, and when he touches the mecha."

Olivia was a little embarrassed: "...This is beyond my control, big deal, I'll try again when he remembers?"

Yan Shuo looked at her curiously: "Why, do you think I really don't want him to remember?"

Olivia was taken aback: "...You, do you want him to remember?"

Yan Shuo lowered his head and glanced at his watch: "Actually, I'm quite looking forward to it, when you tell about his relationship with Ferdinandia."

Olivia was taken aback.

"I always thought he liked Ferdinandia, but now it seems he doesn't." Yan Shuo seemed to be in a good mood, "I'm very happy."

. . . the ears are going deaf.

Olivia couldn't help breaking his fantasy: "But obviously they were very close, obviously Ferdinandia saved him, besides, Shen Zhifan hates the entire empire, he treats you..."

Yan Shuo gave her a displeased look.

...Via, smile, Via, endure the calm for a while.

Olivia swallowed what she was going to say just now, and said with a smile: "But it can still be seen that he is struggling for you. Obviously, your status is higher in his heart."

Pooh.

Yan Shuo nodded, and his mood actually improved at a speed visible to the naked eye.

Men are indeed complex yet simple creatures.

Olivia felt a tinge of despair.

But at this moment, Yan Shuo's phone rang, and Olivia was moved and hoped that he could do something serious.

But seeing Yan Shuo's eyes light up, Olivia felt that she was going to be disappointed again.

Shen Zhifan waited anxiously for the other party to connect, but the other party quickly answered, because he didn't know who the other party was, so he kept silent.

A familiar and hoarse voice came slowly.

"Hey?"

Shen Zhifan's heart, which was still restless just now, suddenly became certain.

This number...as expected, belonged to Yan Shuo.

"...Well, hello."

Shen Zhifan had been sober for a long time just now, when he heard Yan Shuo's voice, he suddenly felt a little drunk again and felt a little dizzy.

"Are you sober, how do you feel?"

"It's all right, sorry to trouble you."

"Well, then I can rest assured. I don't know that you drink so lightly. I will pay attention next time."

Olivia watched Yan Shuo's face change and said that he was about to go blind.

Brother, the country still needs you, so let’s do it.