Tibetan love

The senior year should be the most relaxing year. There are not many classes, and the certificates that should be taken are almost the same, except that the eighth grade can only be taken in the next semester.

I basically spend the rest of my free time in my dormitory or in the library.Occasionally Chen Cheng would ask me to hang out.Occasionally Wang Ziteng would invite me to play games together.Sometimes I would go out to eat, watch movies and sing K with Zhu Yujie and him.

In the second semester of senior year, many students no longer come to school.Those who are looking for internships are interns, and those who are not interns are at home.I still came to school.I didn't even look for an internship. I was in the dormitory every day, sleeping, playing games, and eating.Zhu Yujie didn't come to school either. He learned how to drive at home, and he didn't plan to go back to N City to develop, so he went directly to his father's company.I remember he still said on the phone that he would have to marry on a blind date after graduation.I don't know if he was joking or what, but his words made me more sure that it was impossible for me and him.

I chose the direction of literature for my graduation thesis, and I wrote Atwood's CatsEye.The girl in the same group as me wrote TheColourPurple, which is about same-sex orientation.I also specifically asked her about the direction of her thesis.She said her advisor asked her to use queer theory for research.She told me that the reason she chose this was because she saw the movie of the same name and felt very touched, so she planned to study it.I remember asking her, "Are you not against the same sex?"

But she asked me in surprise: "Why should I reject it?" Her question made me speechless.Perhaps seeing that I had nothing to say for a while, she told me: "In my eyes, same-sex love and opposite-sex love are the same, there is no difference."

At that moment, I suddenly realized.Yes, they are all the same, why do I always have trouble with myself?I suddenly felt for a moment whether I was thinking too much, whether I put too much pressure on myself before, maybe Zhu Yujie is also like this girl, who does not reject same-sex love?Is it if I take that step first, maybe the ending may not be as bad as I thought.

The graduation defense of our School of Foreign Languages ​​is earlier than that of other colleges, starting in March.I remember that I was one of the first to defend. After all, it was a graduation defense. It is impossible to say that I am not nervous at all.The teacher who asks questions during the defense also has a lot to do with the results of the defense.I clearly remember that one of the students we defended together wrote a thesis on the direction of translation. The responding teacher asked her: "Please translate'It rains during the Qingming Festival and pedestrians on the road want to die'." I saw that she was completely confused.

When it came to me, I felt fine, and I almost guessed all the questions I asked. Later, I got an excellent grade in my graduation thesis, and I also think it is reasonable.

We ate the graduation meal at the Shipu Hotel, where almost all seafood was there, and I almost didn't eat a bite.All our foreign language students and the teacher came, and then we sang songs together, many people cried, and our boys also hugged together, shouted together, shouted together, at this time of parting, time seems to be enough precious.

Everyone held their wine glasses and toasted each other.I took a glass of wine, walked up to Peng Qian, and handed it to her: "Let's have a drink together!"

Peng Qian was very generous, saying yes, let's drink!Then her tears flowed.I know that at this time, everyone is reluctant, and many students are crying.

I said: "Time is really fast...I'm sorry about the previous things, I was too much at that time."

With tears in her eyes, Peng Qian smiled at me, "It's okay, it's been so long. Didn't you already apologize at that time? We're all friends now, so why bother?" Then, she threw herself on me and wailed loudly. cry.I comforted her silently.

There are some things that you don't need to say too much or explain too much, just like that, I have solved the knot that has been on my mind for a long time.

After eating, most people went to KTV, and a small number of people left first.I also made excuses before leaving first.Because at that moment, I suddenly wanted to see him.No matter how late it was, I called him: "Where is it?"

"It's not long since I got back to the dormitory. I'm too tired. I won't go crazy without them. I have to get up early and go home tomorrow!"

I figured I'd get to school as fast as I could and let him out.He came out quickly, and before he could ask, I hugged him.He guessed that he had just taken a shower, and he still had the fragrance of shower gel on his body. For some reason, he was extraordinarily at ease in his heart.Even after many years, I will never forget the feeling at that time.

He just let me hug me quietly, without saying a word.After a long time, I let him go, looked at him, and a voice in my heart told me: "Xu Jiayi, if you don't tell him, you won't have a chance."

"Yujie, I..." I opened my mouth, but I couldn't say anything.I looked at him, and he just looked at me quietly and said nothing.

"When will you... go home?" I admitted that I was not completely sure at that time, so I had to ask a random question to break the silence between us.

"I'll go home tomorrow," he paused, "come to me when you are free, and contact me anytime!"

He said it easily, but I felt very heavy.In fact, no one knows when the future will be, maybe one year, maybe five years, maybe ten years, maybe there will be no future, maybe we will never see each other again.

I think it's time for me to put a temporary end to this secret love.At least for now, I can't give him anything, even the most basic thing is difficult for him to accept me.

I knew how reluctant I was, so at that time, I secretly made up my mind that after graduation, when my job was stable and I had a career, I would tell Zhu Yujie that I liked him.It doesn't matter if he refuses, even if he becomes a stranger to me from now on.

That night, I also received a text message from Peng Xi: "You must not know, when I first saw you, I was impressed by you. You are tall and clean, but you are so deep, I Without the courage to greet you proactively, I can only pay attention to you silently. When you are sprinting at the sports meeting, you will never know that there is a girl watching you silently on the edge of the playground, cheering for you!

The only time I really started to meet with you was that time at Yujie's friend's birthday!But that time broke up unhappy, to be honest, I am also very upset, this is not what I hoped for.You were very emotional that day, and I still remember the tone of your voice when you pointed at me.At that time, I might not understand why you were so angry that day. Everyone present at that time thought you and Yu Jie were jealous of me. Zhang Yue also asked me if I absolutely liked Xu Jiayi.For a moment, even I almost believed that you might like me.But then I saw the way you looked at Yujie and the care you gave to his casual words, so I knew exactly who you liked.I also finally understood what was the reason for your anger at that time.

Are you surprised?Girls have a strong sixth sense, and besides, one's eyes cannot be deceived.You must not know how gentle you look at his eyes.

But I am very relieved that I can be friends with you, even if it is just a normal friend in your heart.You apologized to me at that time, but it was actually unnecessary.It's me who should apologize, because I still don't understand why I was willing to introduce a girlfriend to the person I like at that time.Maybe, I was too eager to get in touch with you at the time.

Don't worry, I will never tell anyone about this.But now, I want to tell you another secret in my heart, Xu Jiayi, I like you, I have liked you since the first time I saw you.Also, I'm sorry, in fact, Zhu Yujie and I have always been friends, and only friends.

Anyway, I hope you are happy, sincerely hope. (After reading it, delete it quickly)

Xu Jiayi, goodbye! "

Looking at this text message, I don't know what it feels like.I don't know how to reply, how ridiculous, the girl I've always been jealous of, actually likes me.It turned out that I was the culprit.I thought about it for a long time, wrote and deleted, and finally, I just replied "thank you", and then deleted this message.