The Mortal

He had already reached the center of the maze, because in reality Harry began to resist obviously, but reason kept him from using Occlumency.

"Relax, Harry," he whispered as he restrained him. "I won't hurt you."

Perhaps that statement had an effect, but its effect was still limited.The new image that popped up was complete chaos and distortion, and Snape was stroking Harry's back as he struggled to sort through the endless stream of memories, but gradually he realized that the confusion wasn't all due to Harry's resistance - he was insisting so stubbornly Let go of the brain, there seems to be a belief that he must never give up halfway - then there is only one reasonable explanation, they are fragments in the mind of their owner.

These were memories Harry wanted to forget.

Snape couldn't effectively choose which segment he should go into at this point.These memories were too messy and crowded, he could only passively wait for them to ease up again.In quick flashes he caught some horrific sights of blood and fire, crumbled dishes and white pills spilled on the table.Those things that were too depressing made people suffocate like being choked by the throat. He saw the unrecognizable corpses and the blood-stained stones in the grass, Harry's trembling hands, and the beautiful and cruel sunset.He saw him wake up from nightmares several times, and the first thing he did when he opened his eyes was to reach under the pillow to find the bottle of memory, as if he regarded it as a reliance-there was no one else. Snape suddenly understood at this moment that this is the moment when Harry is most vulnerable, this is the moment when Harry needs others instead of struggling alone, this is the moment when Harry is most helpless and afraid, wanting to hide in the cupboard. A moment when something is unavailable.

Then everything disappeared suddenly, and they returned to the ward.

The voice is still there. Snape moved closer to Harry, and this time he was unhindered, without any sudden memory disturbance.He was close enough that there was a slight sob and the repetition of short words.

sorry.He said sorry sorry sorry...

Snape didn't know what he was apologizing for, or what he needed to apologize to, maybe to himself in the hospital bed, maybe to those names that he remembered forever but would never be used again - but it really wasn't The savior deserves the responsibility, and he doesn't need to attribute everything to himself, damn it. Snape was with him and not with him at the time, and he wondered what he would say and do to Harry if he were sober, would it be sarcasm or cold silence, or something else.

There are no ifs in life.

This is the last. Snape knew - after reading so much information - that the road had come to an end, and it couldn't take him to the exit.He should go back to the upper floor to continue exploring, but the self-control he has always been proud of hesitates here. The boy in the corner is still there, and it reminds him of himself in the spider's alley.

Harry came out of the bedroom.

It took Snape a brief moment to realize that they had returned to the previous point. Harry walked up to him and put the glass bottle of memory into his hand.Then he stopped where he was. (*See Chapter [-])

At the time Snape thought he was going to ask about its contents, and of course, demanded an explanation of everything that had been withheld.But now he understood how Harry was pretending to be calm.There had been so much misunderstanding between them, so much he had misunderstood Harry.

He stopped Legilimency and left Harry's mind.

Harry looked at him confused.Cold sweat dripped down the side of his face, his eyes were out of focus, and his throat was panting low and unevenly.But he still kept his back straight and stubbornly refused to bow his head.

"You stopped." He said uncertainly. "What did i do wrong?"

He always starts by asking me what I did wrong.

"You didn't," Snape answered him.

"Then why did we stop?"

"Because you need to." He hesitated before saying, "Harry, this hurt you too strongly."

"I must say that your sense of humor is not funny at all, Professor." But he smiled a little. "You're not casting the Cruciatus Curse on me. It won't do me any harm."

I'm afraid it can be regarded as the Cruciatus Curse in another sense.

"You need to rest." Snape just said that, without giving a single leeway in his tone.

Not that he suddenly resolved to treat the young man in a softer way.It's just that there should be a corresponding bottom line in everything. He doesn't mind making things difficult for the Savior in other ways, but not in this matter.Some things can always cause pain and damage several times more violent than the body, and he deeply understands how many pains are not commonly known.He doesn't know exactly what Harry wants him to find, but any interpretation like this can't be called friendly. The search involves too many areas that he can't avoid. The scariest moment of your life is reenacted, tearing open your scabbed wounds again.

This is not, and should never be, a joke.

"So are you going to continue next time?" Harry was still asking, and then immediately added, "We have to finish it."

He didn't say why he had to do this, but his look showed a determination not to compromise until his goal was achieved. Snape believed there must be a more important reason than studying, so he finally agreed reluctantly, and Harry relaxed at that moment - he hunched forward feebly, his head resting on Snape's shoulder for support, Almost lost all strength.

Snape didn't mention what he saw.He wasn't going to try to comfort him or reassure him, he wasn't going to say something sarcastic, just silent, in his usual way, for any number of reasons. Harry leaned wearily against him, the ache in his head fading very slowly, and then he caught in his gradually clear vision the tightly buttoned black collar, and the pale neck in contrast.He naturally raised his chin to get closer, and then took advantage of the momentum to land a kiss on the skin close to his eyes.

This is almost becoming the norm.Although Harry always started each time, Snape never really rejected him, as if something was brewing in their tacit agreement, and there was no right time to bring it up. Harry was usually happy to kiss him eagerly, and also liked to bring their bodies closer, as if that meant a closer connection, but this time he didn't have much energy, too much energy wasted on him by Legilimency.

He caressed Snape's shoulder bones, neck, and cheeks, the action can be called affection - but it is clear that he is the one who is extremely weak at this time - but there is always a power in him, as if urging him to bear it all the time , to protect, and to shoulder excessive responsibilities, now he uses all this power on the people in front of him.

"You know," Harry said as they exchanged breaths. "You are not a nice person."

"I thought that was obvious enough."

Snape wasn't offended by it.His palms were still on the back of the young man who was accusing him, and he could feel the curvature of his spine through the fabric of his clothes.

"Yes." Harry sighed lowly. "But I still miss you so much."

Miss you very, very much.

This part of the sudden transition was puzzling, and Snape watched his face carefully to make sure he wasn't talking nonsense - no, it was nonsense, you chose the wrong verb or person for the sentence.

"How strange." Harry just laughed, without any negative meaning. "I hate you so much, but I don't want to really leave you, I don't want you to really leave me. I will often think about the unpleasant things about you, the unpleasant things about me. You are so good at making other people difficult. "

"And you spend too much time making things easier for others," Snape said.

"Yeah." Harry pondered for a moment, "So I would envy you too."

"Are you envious?"

"I said envious." He recognized the sarcasm behind Snape's words and admitted it frankly. "It's been there, I just didn't realize it until a long time ago. You make my life hard, I mean it, but at the same time I always want to prove something to you. And then you..." He said it painfully frown.

Then you become quiet, so quiet, almost indistinguishable from a dead body. Harry thought ecstatically, you protect me, the way you do.

"Too many uncertainties." He suddenly started talking about seemingly irrelevant topics, "You-Know-Who, Horcruxes, even Dumbledore, I feel like I'm in a spider's web with no end in sight. That's not good, I Not being able to grasp the big picture and not being able to control everything around me, and the unknown brings anxiety. Now, too, a series of recent events have been unbearable to me - there was a time when Hermione said I was almost like a control freak, intentionally You can force yourself to take the initiative everywhere, and you can't accept a little bit out of control."

Snape waited calmly to see what he had to say.

"But what I can confirm most is that I'm safe with you." Harry said, looking at him steadily. "I don't mind what you tell me or do to me - don't say you're not used to leading me or controlling me, but I take it all. Do you understand? We may still have arguments, sometime