critical value

Although I would always lie down in front of that small window, I would always think of some interesting things and want to tell Shi Xiaofeng, but this still didn't change the fact that I didn't want to talk to him.

Sometimes I meet in this building. When he has a bunch of friends, of course he ignores me, but I also ignore him. When he is alone, he looks very depressed, with his head down, swaying around If it was me in the past at this time, I would definitely run up to him very attentively, and then chat with him about some useless topics.But not now.

I often see him alone, and although it is still the same as before, I feel happy for a while, but I also understand that the previous happiness is finally able to monopolize his happiness.But now it is not. Most of the happiness now is reflected in the subsequent development of the plot-for example, when I see his lonely back, I will pretend not to see him and walk away "cracking".

At this time, especially the moment I passed him just now, my heart will twitch suddenly, and then there will be unspeakable happiness, which makes people unable to help but snicker in the darkness of his back, and dare not utter a word. voice, afraid of being discovered by him, because he would see through his little bit of open and secret conflict in a second.

Especially in the second before seeing him, I was still thinking about a lot of things in my heart, and I was going to tell him, but I completely gave up at the moment I saw him, and silently walked away from him, which may not be 50 centimeters away. ...This feeling fascinates me the most, as if all the previous efforts were in vain under the self-inflicted forbearance. I may feel lost to myself before, but now, because I seem to have completed myself His determination may be because he thinks he is unfeeling, and feels inexplicably happy.

Then I feel that I have become different from before, becoming more dazzling than before, more like the god-like male protagonist who has completed the transformation in the comics, I may still be silently looking forward to it in my heart, maybe continue like this, I will always One day I will be able to stand in the same world as Shi Xiaofeng.

In fact, at this time, I have been vaguely aware of it, but only in the subconscious, I have realized the emotion, but the reason has not reacted in the slightest, and I think I am very powerful.

At that time, I gradually understood that at some point, Shi Xiaofeng and I were no longer in the same world.And all my actions are actually to be able to continue to stand by his side. As long as I am still in this world, it seems that I can be saved... I should think so subconsciously.

But it's useless, I'm not like him after all, otherwise I wouldn't envy him and want to be like him.

After a while, the joy of ignoring him gradually dissipated. There were many reasons, probably because I had accumulated too much words that I wanted to say in my heart, and it became necessary to vent them; probably because I can see him now. Inexplicably, the time is getting less and less; it may be that I finally saw him during this time, but he is like that again, surrounded by a lot of people, "ah ha ha ha" very happy.

It was supposed to be me playing cool around him and making him unhappy, but he didn't take me seriously at all.

That's right, I gradually started to get angry again, and it didn't take long before I gradually changed back to the way I was before. Although I was arrogant and refused to admit it at the beginning, I occasionally saw him alone, but I didn't cherish it. The opportunity to speak, I deliberately missed it from him again self-righteously, and restrained the urge to look back to see if he cared about me, so I left silently, but soon regretted it so much that I almost died, the whole person was inexplicable Crazy all day.

In fact, when I think about that time now, I really regret it, blame myself at that time, and deliberately sneer: "If you want to see his reaction so much, why don't you run around in circles around him!" Such sarcasm look at yourself.

Really, if he could not think so much at that time, and just live for his own happiness, just for the sake of momentary happiness, he and Shi Xiaofeng will deliberately get tired of each other as usual, even if it is not his original wish, how wonderful it would be Things are at least better than the original choice, at least I won't regret it so much now.

Because we don’t do anything, just stand proudly beside us, deceiving ourselves and others, torturing ourselves, that’s why we’re silent, and the relationship gradually fades away. In the end, we may never even have the chance to speak a word, in my heart But still with burning emotions.

Do it yourself.

Even though I regretted it, I still didn't do anything, just lying on the small window and in the corridor as usual, but I have been waiting for an opportunity to meet for an hour, but when I saw it, I still didn't know anything Said, at most, he just walked behind him with his little friends, just followed him for a while, and then immediately left silently.

Sometimes I see him in the corridor, very clearly and from a good angle, and sometimes I take a good look at his appearance by the way.After getting along for so long, I seem to have never looked at him carefully, but I regard seeing his face as a normal thing when I wake up every morning, open my eyes, and see the drool on the pillow.But now it’s different, we’ve never been in such a situation—we’re so close, but we can’t see each other, we’ve seen each other, but we can’t speak for various internal reasons.

He gradually became unusual to me, and I was very afraid that two people would become strangers and alienated one day, so I have never been so eager to get to know this person more than I am now.

It was the first time to look at him so carefully.

A pair of drooping eyes, not big, but not too small and shabby. The eyebrows are relatively light, which seem to be sword eyebrows, which are flamboyantly smudged at the tail, but also drooping in conformity with the shape of the eyes; It looks a bit narrow, but it is still high; the lips are a very standard lip shape, like those often seen in TV dramas, a squeaky sweet little girl, and the bridge of the nose should be like a dog, but the whole person is like a cat up.

The shape of the face will not be sharp and sharp, only the brow bone is slightly protruding, as if it still has the childishness of childhood.

He often passes by me, but occasionally I can see that kind of demeanor.His head was raised slightly, as if he was proud, as if he was serious, and then I found something between his brows...

His pupils looked brown at first glance, but turned amber when facing the light. His drooping eyebrows were not so clear, but they were straight, like a submissive face, and his calm expression unconsciously brought out his hidden coldness. , Indifference, and the look of not squinting unconsciously let me touch the coldness and hardness in his heart.

Maybe the face was harsher and harder, or more vivid and softer than I've described, but it didn't matter, because I couldn't get any definite feeling from it when I first looked at him carefully. Shi, until now, when he recalled that face, he suddenly wanted to say something to Shi Xiaofeng: "It's so cold at the top."

Until now, it seems that I have not been able to understand the meaning of this sentence that I suddenly wanted to say to him.

The author has something to say:

The description of the face was written long ago when he was drawn.