critical value

"Time is hard to come by but easy to lose." - Zhuge Liang

Shi Xiaofeng and I are both really wearable types. We raise a little monster and live a Gintama-like daily life with nothing to do, but we still enjoy it. I wear a lot every day, and he wears very little. The two of us together Going outside and wandering around, looking at a bunch of bad street things but not buying anything.

Recently, I seem to understand Shi Xiaofeng's minimalist life a little bit, and this looks really happy~

Standing next to him most of the time, but sometimes walking behind him, I was surprised to find that this man likes to pull his collar back when he wears clothes, exposing the back of his neck and his very enchanting cervical spine... just like Japanese married (should be married) women in anime wear kimonos like...won't it be cold?Be careful to get cervical spondylosis after getting old~

One afternoon, the sky was that kind of gray blue, just like in the morning, Shi Xiaofeng looked out the window as if it was sunrise and sunset, he didn't know who he was talking on the phone with, and he couldn't quite understand him. What is he talking about, although he is standing a few steps behind him, but he is speaking in Sichuan dialect, which is completely incomprehensible to people who don’t often buy vegetables in the vegetable markets that are banned by urban management...

I heard that people from Sichuan speak Mandarin with a Taiwanese accent, but Shi Xiaofeng successfully refuted the rumor...

Although when he was talking on the phone, his voice sounded different from usual, he didn't feel like he was joking, he didn't tell any jokes in cadence, or sarcasm anyone, but I still think that nothing will happen, at least He won't go, because we agreed to stay here until spring, he won't go, and neither will I...

However, it is still the season when the wind is a little bit subtle, so there is no need for him to leave at all~

But when he woke up the next morning, he was gone.The bed beside me has been put away, and there is no temperature left on the floor. I suspect that he should have gone somewhere last night, to a far away place, and he hasn’t come back for a long time. I can’t bear the reality and deceive myself until now.

But it really won't be like this, after all, I really belong to the kind of relatively strong person.

Maybe it's a lack of self-knowledge...

Shi Xiaofeng's departure didn't seem to have a big impact on me. At that time, I probably thought he would come back at night.When I got up from the bed, I still felt very ordinary and uncomfortable, and there was no additional shock because he was not by my side.Looking at the little monster on the cabinet, helplessly bubbling air bubbles at the bottom of the water, but still opening his eyes with a half-smile, he really wanted to ask it: "Do you know where Shi Xiaofeng went?"

Helplessly, the old man can sing and dance but can't speak...

Can sing and dance...

At that time, I should have always believed that Shi Xiaofeng would come back, but I also had an intuition developed by watching more than N animations told me that he would not come back soon, or it would be a few years, or forever.But after all, animation is two-dimensional, pig feet will never be an ordinary person, but here, it is just an ordinary person, so what happened around me must also be ordinary, I don’t know what logic makes me always believe Shi Xiaofeng will come back.

Then just waited.

Should have been waiting.

I am now a vagrant, living a life of waste wood like Gintama every day, maybe in a few days, I will degenerate to "do anything as long as I get paid"... I have nothing to do, and I wear it alone. Shoes and a thick coat, walking around the street, buying something to feed myself, buying some dried fish to feed the little monster, that's it.

Occasionally, when we walked in the place where the two of us used to live a life of waste wood like silver ghosts, wandering the streets with nothing to do, and saw that aunt was still selling oden, I don’t know why I felt so nostalgic. Not long ago, I ate with Shi Xiaofeng. Running to grab him, I acted like I didn't care about him, but he really was a jerk, without my hindrance, he quickly lost interest.

There is also the wall that should have been covered with creepers, but now it is full of dead vines. I was looking forward to it, maybe it will germinate in May, maybe when I see that green wall, I will think of something.I've always thought so.

until early summer,

In fact, I was also confused. After opening the drawer, I found that there was not much money left. Shi Xiaofeng's passbook and card were not put here at all. I always felt that I might not live until Shi Xiaofeng came back. He didn't know how to give me more. Keep a few big tickets, it’s really not good now, and I won’t even be able to guarantee my life in the near future. I may have to bring the little monster to beg for food on the street that is still warm and cold.

I always feel that this is the best way to embarrass Shi Xiaofeng.

I feel that I should find a job, and I am sixteen anyway.But where did Shi Xiaofeng put my ID card?Searched through the closet and couldn't find it.Sure enough, it is better to give up.Every day I still wander around the street with nothing to do, day by day just like this, sometimes it is the kind of sight of going out early and returning late.

I always feel like my life is like a pickpocket.

Pickpockets don't live like me, so what else do they do anyway.

Sometimes when I came home in the dark at night, the lights were not turned on. I don’t know why I suddenly remembered the first time I saw Shi Xiaofeng in this apartment. He looked like when he was lying on the porch. At that time, the lights in the bathroom were like Turn it on... I silently turned on the bathroom light, and the light was dimmed through the frosted glass door, dimly shining in the hallway.

Looking at the light, a thought suddenly popped up in my heart for some reason, and I didn't know the essence of the thought, but when I came back to my senses, I was already lying on the porch, like Shi Xiaofeng that day, with his head still on the tatami It really hurts... my head hurts, and my body hurts too, as if I was suddenly covered with peppercorns.Suddenly feel a little sorry for Shi Xiaofeng, after all his old man had seppuku that day...

I don't know where he is now, and I haven't asked if the seppuku was really good last time.I always feel that I should not be blamed for this, but Shi Xiaofeng is too tough, no matter what happens, he behaves as usual.Even if the blood flowed all over the entrance that day, it was still stuck to my feet, but sure enough he got up by himself, went to get the rag, and wiped my feet clean...

After a long, long time, I lay on the ground and recalled Shi Xiaofeng for a long time, guessing him in various ways, but in the end there was no result. I also thought of dragging him home before the Spring Festival, where did he say he liked me? ...But as expected, I still didn't think of anything, I just guessed that he might be at his brother's place now...

The author has something to say:

Is it appropriate for me to use Zhuge Liang's famous sentence in this article?