Fake Celestial Master Lives as a Half Immortal

After dinner, I was bored in every possible way, and no one dared to play with their mobile phones, so they racked their brains to find something to talk to with the unburned fire.In this barren mountain and wild forest, there is no place to charge it. I am afraid that something will happen. If you want to use your mobile phone but don't need it, it will be terrible.

After chatting nonsense, the sky became completely dark, a few stars dotted the night sky, and a pale white crescent moon slowly rose along the tree trunk.Xiaoyin asked Old Smelly, "I also said that the 'Mountain God' is getting married, but now it's getting dark like this, why don't you come to marry?"

Old Chou said: "The emperor is not in a hurry, the eunuchs are in a hurry, the auspicious day has arrived, but the good time has not yet arrived!"

Xiaoyin pouted, and the twin sister Xiaojin turned to ask the bride, "Sister, are you afraid? You are going to marry the 'Mountain God', are you afraid?"

It could be said that the people in this small town paid enough attention to this marriage.A village girl bride, with gold and silver ornaments on her head, turned her head and shook her head, jingling.She smiled at Xiao Jin, a blush appeared on her plain face.

"Don't be afraid." The bride's accent was heavy and hoarse, it could be said to be "scratching the pot, sawing the donkey and barking", it was so ugly that it was indescribable.

Lao Shou said: "Marrying the 'Mountain God' is a blessing, so there is nothing to be afraid of!"

Xiao Jin responded sharply with sharp teeth: "That's because my sister sees few people! This small broken town, in a small broken mountain, doesn't even have a man who is pleasing to the eye. If my sister leaves this small broken place, she will see more people." , I don't mind marrying a 'mountain god'!"

Lin Bi, who was at the side, took a sneak peek at the bride, observing her expression, whether she was happy or depressed.

But the bride is still smiling, unable to tell whether it is true or false.

Xiaoyin also chimed in: "That's right, besides, who knows what this 'mountain god' looks like, whether it's round or flat!"

What the two sisters said was a little too much.Lin Bi thought of the story about the "mountain god" that Lai Sanpi told this morning, and his heart skipped a beat.

"You 'Dou'er'!" Old Smelly was anxious, "How did you talk?!"

Lai Sanpi also had a look of shock and anger, "You forgot what I told you when I came here? I said that I went to Trumpet Mountain, and you have to take care of your own..."

Before he finished speaking, Xiao Jin and Xiao Yin interrupted him with a smile, "Old Smelly Brother and Mr. Lai, you are too sensitive, and we didn't say anything wrong about 'Mountain God'..."

A cloudy and cold wind suddenly blew in the forest, making the bushes and leaves make a noisy 'rustle' sound, Lao Shou and Lai Sanpi immediately turned pale,

"What, what's going on?" Xiao Jin was stunned for a moment, tightly clutching the arm of his sister Xiao Yin.

The silver-rimmed glasses were also taken aback, and comforted him: "It's just windy, don't be afraid."

As soon as he finished speaking, he was slapped in the face.

I saw the big tree on which the two sisters Xiao Jin and Xiao Yin leaned on swayed and trembled with the cold wind, and suddenly, a few black "ropes" fell down!Unprepared, the two sisters screamed in fright and closed their eyes!

hiss--

Those "ropes" twisted their waists and made a "hissing" sound. The big man Yuan Li took out a flashlight to take a picture, which is the "rope"!It was clearly a few flower-skinned long snakes with waists as thick as the mouth of a bowl!

It is spitting scarlet forked snake letter, sizzling and threatening Xiaojin and Xiaoyin!

"Snake!" Yuan Li picked up the unused thin wood on the ground, and just wanted to hit those flower snakes, a hero came to save the beauty, but Lao Shou and Lai Sanpi jumped on him and stopped them firmly.

"Ouch! I'm really scared of you!" Lai Sanpi grabbed Yuan Li's thick wrist with all his strength, "That's the subordinate of the 'Mountain God'! You just said 'Mountain God'! Now fight again Are its subordinates deliberately trying to kill us?"

Lao Shou also hurriedly said: "Little girl, why are you so busy crying! Why don't you apologize for doing something wrong!?"

The two girls, Xiao Jin and Xiao Yin, were terrified by those big flower snakes, and could only cry when they closed their eyes.It was the silver-rimmed glasses that were the first to react, suppressing the fear, approached the two sisters, raised his hand, and slapped the two little girls a few times, the sound was loud and powerful, and Xiaojin and Xiaoyin were slapped. His face was swollen and red, and a few streaks of blood appeared on his white and tender face.

"How did you talk!" The silver-rimmed glasses slapped the ears, while observing the reaction of the flower snakes hanging upside down on the tree, "Did you hear what Old Smelly Brother and Mr. Lai said, why don't you apologize soon?!"

hiss--

Those flower snakes spat out snake letters, as if they were urging.

Xiao Jin and Xiao Yin were sobbed and slapped, calmed down a bit, and immediately stammered after regaining consciousness: "We were wrong! We knew we were wrong, we shouldn't, we shouldn't, we shouldn't talk nonsense Oh... God of the Mountain, please forgive us this time!"

They kowtowed to the big flower snakes while talking.

While the nerves of the other people on the side were tense, Lin Bu even reached out to touch the dagger hidden in his boots, considering whether he should help, and chopped off the big flower snakes.

As a result, as soon as Xiaojin and Xiaoyin finished their confession, the flower snakes swayed back to the tree, like reeling in a fishing line, spitting out snake letters.At the same time, there were bursts of "thin rustling" sounds around, like the sound of something else leaving and rubbing against the grass.

Only then did they notice that at some point in time, sporadic, star-like bright spots of different sizes lit up beside them!

No, not a highlight!It is the eyes of the beast that glow in the dark!

When the voices disappeared, Lao Shou and Lai Sanpi breathed a sigh of relief, let go of the restraint on Yuan Li with red eyes, and said with lingering fear: "Little girl, you should be glad that what you said was not caught by the 'God of the Mountain' I heard it, but it was overheard by the creatures around here, just to scare you two to teach me a lesson!"

Little Jin and Xiaoyin were frightened, and they didn't dare to stay under the tree anymore, they nodded frantically while covering their faces covered with tears and finger marks.The eyes of the folklore quartet finally showed a bit of fear.

After this incident, everyone lost their minds about chatting, Lin Bi found a Yunnan Baiyao from his backpack, and handed it to Xiao Jin and Xiao Yin to smear their faces.The twin sisters thanked Hua in a low voice with swollen eyes, and got into the small tent belonging to them to apply the medicine.After the remaining few people looked at each other in silence for a while, the silver-rimmed glasses were the first to speak, proposing to take a rest, recharge their batteries, and go through the cave to Wish Village tomorrow.

Yuan Li said that he would come to watch the night, the first half of the night, and the second half of the night for Lin Fang or Yan Yugu.

Yan Yugu agreed, and first pushed Lin Bi into their tent, and then said to Yuan Li, "I'll watch in the second half of the night."

Lai Sanpi said to Old Smelly: "Old Smelly Brother, after you take the bride to meet the 'Mountain God', come back and squeeze a tent with me?"

Lao Shou poked the still-burning fire and said, "Let's talk about it later, maybe I'll be left behind by the 'Mountain God' for a wedding banquet later!"

Lai Sanpi opened his mouth to say something, when suddenly there was a joyous sound of gongs and drums playing in the forest.

Youdao is sharp and sharp, like a child's voice and like an eunuch who is neither yin nor yang, read: "The two surnames are married, and a contract is made under one house. His year is full of melons, and Erchang Erzhi. I would like to write to Hongjian with the covenant of white heads, so that the alliance of red leaves will be recorded in Mandarin. This proof-"

"You all go back to the tent and hide first!" Old Smelly's face changed and became serious, and the bride quickly put down the raised red hijab and covered her face again. "It's the 'Mountain God' who is here to pick up the bride!"

Yuan Li and Lai Sanpi hesitated for a moment when they heard the words, but obediently got into the tent.

Gollum—quack—

There are more and more strange voices, more and more urgent.

Lin Bi was lying in the tent, and when he heard the movement outside, he felt as if a cat was scratching his heart. He was curious about what the "mountain god" looked like, and at the same time, he was a little worried that the bride would be eaten by the "mountain god" or something bloody. .

Yan Yugu watched him writhing around in the tent, restless.So he took out the small dagger on Lin Bi's lap, and made a small hole in the tent for Lin Bi to see, "I know you're curious, let's see."

Lin Bi smiled at him shyly, and closed his eyes.

Outside the tent, only the bride and the old stinky couple in red hijabs remained, and the voices got closer and closer.A dark shadow like a road and a hill shrouded it, and the weird and weird "gulu-quack-" sound became more and more clear.

A golden toad the size of a small car covered in pimples, carrying on its back a really sly-eyed, wearing a black and red wedding dress... a big mouse appeared in front of the old and smelly two with a "bang"!

Behind the golden toad, followed by a series of big mice wearing red short coats and shorts, beating gongs or drums, or carrying big red sedan chairs!

It turns out that this "mountain god" is a mouse spirit!

The mountain god climbed down from the golden toad, checked the dowry on the ground swaggeringly, and let out a satisfied hum.With his hands behind his back, he walked up to the bride and lifted the bride's red hijab with dry fingers.

Old Smelly didn't dare to stop, and didn't dare to raise his head, he knelt on the ground and shivered.

After seeing the bride, the mountain god became angry, and issued a series of words: "Zhi Zhi Zhi Zhi? Zhi Zhi Zhi?"

The mountain god is not satisfied!With a bitter face, the old man hurriedly repeated what the middle-aged man said in the morning, "No way, now that life is developed, young people don't like to stay in the village, they only go outside, this year can only be like this .”

"Squeak, squeak!" The mountain god jumped up and down with anger.

"You said something else?" Lao Shou probably guessed its intentions from its gestures, and said in shock, "No way, Grandpa Mountain God, those two girls are not bride candidates!"

"Zhizhi——" The mountain god didn't care what Lao Shou said, and glanced at the nervous bride in the wedding dress with all kinds of disgust.Suddenly he rushed forward, opened his bloody mouth wide open, revealing two sharp and curved canine teeth, one exerted strength!Bit off that bride's neck!

puff-

The poor bride was wearing a red hijab, she didn't know what expression she was on, she didn't even utter a cry of pain, she fell down lightly like a kite with a broken string.Red and black blood spattered like a signal flare. The big rats who had been beating gongs and drums to carry the sedan chair split into two teams orderly. Little Silver's tent!He forced a hole in the tent and dragged Xiao Jin and Xiao Yin out!

The two sisters, Xiao Jin and Xiao Yin, were trembling with fear, crying and struggling: "Help! Help! We don't want to marry you!"

Lao Shou also struggled desperately on the ground, and loudly persuaded: "Grandpa Mountain God, no! You are breaking the rules! Let's discuss it again..."

A figure suddenly sprang out from the tent where Yuan Li and silver-rimmed glasses lived, and a bright white knife drew a ray of light, followed by another "puchi" sound!

Yuan Li's face was distorted and his eyes were red. Taking advantage of the mountain god's unawareness, he took out the folding Swiss Army knife he had prepared and stabbed the artery in its neck!

"You weird thing dare to hit my junior sister's idea!"

squeak!

The mountain god didn't notice for a while, and was stabbed in the neck, and the blood spewed out with a "puchi"!There was a big bloodstain!It let out a scream, and before it could figure out what was going on, Yuan Li held the handle of the knife and spun it around again. The knife made a big circle around the mountain god's hairy neck, and the stench, black and red blood surged even more joyously. !

Everyone was stunned, even the creatures who followed the mountain god were also stunned.

It was Lao Shou who was the first to react, and shouted at Yuan Li: "You idiot! Hurry up and pull out the knife!"

Yuan Li drew out his sharp Swiss Army Knife.The mountain god glared angrily, and fell to his knees with a plop, his chest no longer rising or falling.The toads and rats who had just followed suddenly made a "boom", and fled in all directions like headless flies.

Lao Shou was free, and jumped on the mountain god first, sniffing with a pale face, and Lai Sanpi, silver-rimmed glasses, and Lin Bi also got out of the tent.

"Ouch, I'm going to be killed by you idiot!" Lao Shou shook his hands to confirm that the mountain god was dead, and was so angry that his beard almost turned up. "How, how can you kill the 'mountain god'?"

Yuan Li gritted his teeth with a cold face, and stared back at Old Smelly with red eyes.

Lai Sanpi also looked ashamed, "The 'Mountain God' is dead, and we can't get out of Laba Mountain!"

"What do you mean?" The silver-rimmed glasses said in a panic, "No, isn't it just dead, a rat spirit! Could it be that the animals in this mountain will seek revenge from us?"

Knowing that the matter is irreversible, Lao Shouxin lost his anger, "The animals in the mountain will not take revenge, but there are stone formations in Laba Mountain, and the 'mountain god' has always been the guide to get out of the mountain. Now you have killed the 'mountain god' It's gone...you can only go out if you find the formation eye and destroy it."

The silver-rimmed glasses breathed a sigh of relief, pushed the glasses on the bridge of the nose, and said confidently: "What's the problem? There are eight of us here, so I'm afraid we won't be able to break through that... the eye of the stone array?"

Lao Shou sneered and said, "It's easier said than done, why don't Brother Lai and I go to the 'Wishing Village' with you, make a wish to the living gods and walk out of Laba Mountain alive!"