You who walk against the light

Zhong Kaifan reached out and knocked on the door, and an old voice came from inside the room, "Please come in."

Entering the study, Zhong Kaifan raised his eyes. His father was sitting at the desk, wearing a cashmere sweater, coughing with his fists clenched from time to time.

"Have a cold?" Zhong Kaifan sat on the sofa opposite the desk, his father looked more haggard and older today.

Zhong Dingheng smiled, "It's okay, I have pharyngitis, hey, people are getting older, and the parts of the body are always out of control."

Zhong Kaifan rested his elbows on his knees, not knowing how to respond.

The atmosphere was a bit silent, Zhong Dingheng took off his reading glasses, cleared his throat, "Didn't you say you have something to talk about?"

Zhong Kaifan came back to his senses and tried to keep his tone calm: "Recently, I have been thinking about hiring a professional manager. Now the situation has stabilized and the company's various systems have been improved. If there are no accidents, there will be more stable development. .”

Zhong Dingheng pondered for a moment, "Is it because you are unhappy at work?"

Zhong Kaifan's heart skipped a beat. Since he was a child, his father never asked him if he was happy, but today is very abnormal.

"No, I just want to take a break. The current work intensity is a bit high."

Zhong Dingheng smiled, "You know that seat is not easy to sit in?"

"Yes." Zhong Kaifan nodded.

Seeing that his son's attitude was not so firm, Zhong Dingheng tried to ask: "Do you want to consider changing the guard?"

"After hiring a suitable professional manager, I will coordinate with you to handle other work. After all, there is a specialization in the technical industry. If it wasn't for Xiao Zheng's sake in the past two years, I might not be able to persist."

Zhong Dingheng took a sip of his tea, his eyes showed approval, "You can live up to it yourself."

Zhong Kaifan raised his head in surprise, feeling that his father was a little abnormal today. He remembered what Lin Yuan said yesterday, and couldn't help but say, "If you have anything to do in the future, can you ask me directly, and don't disturb other people?"

Zhong Dingheng glanced at Zhong Kaifan's son, and asked knowingly: "What other people?"

Zhong Kaifan said directly: "Lin Yuan."

"Oh," Zhong Dingheng said indifferently, "I didn't do anything to him, nor did I try to interfere with your affairs."

"Really?" Zhong Kaifan's eyes were dark. His father looked for Lin Yuan, which made him more alert. "Eight years ago, did you look for him? If I hadn't asked, he still wouldn't talk to me. Say it."

Zhong Dingheng couldn't help frowning, "It was the past, didn't you also feel angry and refused to go home?"

Hearing what his father said, Zhong Kaifan was a little annoyed, "Don't you see if this family can accommodate me."

A flash of guilt flashed across Zhong Dingheng's face, and soon he narrowed his eyebrows and asked, "Kaifan, you really don't want to get involved in those things at home?"

Seeing his son's neck stiffened and not speaking, Zhong Dingheng roughly guessed, "Then what are your plans in the future?"

At this point in the atmosphere, Zhong Kaifan refused to tell the truth, "I have no plans."

Zhong Dingheng was worried, "You are still so young and have a lot of good times. You should put your life on more meaningful things."

Zhong Kaifan didn't come here today to listen to his father's preaching, "I was doing something very meaningful before, and I gave up halfway because it was for my family."

"Is it for the family, or for Lin Yuan?" Zhong Dingheng asked along.

"Is there a difference?" Zhong Kaifan and Zhong Dingheng looked at each other without flinching, "For him, for the family, the final result is not the same?"

Zhong Dingheng frowned, "That's different. Emotions are just a part of life. Dad hopes that you will be less consumed and affected emotionally."

When it comes to feelings, Zhong Kaifan closed his eyes, "Dad, why do you care about me today?"

"I'm your father, can't I care about you?"

Zhong Kaifan was short of breath, "When I was eight or nine years old, it was the age that needed the most attention. You were busy with work, remarried, and enjoying life with your new wife. Have you ever thought about me?"

Zhong Dingheng waved his hands weakly, "Okay, let's not talk about this, I don't want to argue."

Seeing his father's evasive attitude, Zhong Kaifan felt that the old man in front of him was pitiful and horrible.

Hate, he thought of the recent events and snorted coldly: "You should take care of Zhong Ziming when you have time, he is the one who needs to be cared the most."

Zhong Dingheng's eyebrows were heavy, "Speaking of Ziming, Kaifan, why did you push him when you knew he had a heart attack?" He said earnestly, "After what happened to Zhong Can, are you still so ignorant? We can't take it anymore. for any loss—”

Zhong Kaifan felt aggrieved when he heard this, and said directly: "I didn't know he was my younger brother." Putting personal grudges aside, since we've talked here, he wants to clarify the root cause today.

Zhong Dingheng was silent for a moment, then lowered his head apologetically, "I wanted to find a chance to talk to you about this matter, but Ziming's attitude was very clear before, he didn't want to talk about these things. I know there is no harmony between you two." He paused After a pause, he continued: "Even if you are an unfamiliar person, Kaifan, you shouldn't provoke a patient. What if something happens to Ziming again? Can you and Lin Yuan go on?"

"Everything has to be about cause and effect. Before Zhong Ziming deliberately stimulated me with Lin Yuan's dangerous video, I almost died on the way. I went home, and he was always against me at work. This is more than that, he..." With emotion stuck in Zhong Kaifan's throat, he said after a long while: "He took the photos of Lin Yuan's humiliation and stimulated me! When we quarreled that day, he said every word to his heart. Do you know how I feel? When I saw those photos and heard those words, I thought why Zhong Ziming didn't just stab me to death!"

Speaking of this, Zhong Kaifan breathed heavily, "I have been patient and avoided suspicion everywhere, even when liquidating the shares, I gave everything that should be given. As for myself, I don't want anything from the company. I just want to live a stable life. What's wrong with me? Don't say I just pushed him, if he was a normal person, I would beat him until his nose was blue and his face was swollen!"

Zhong Dingheng was silent, he realized that he had touched his son's psychological defense.

The grievances that had been accumulated for many years suddenly rushed to his heart, and Zhong Kaifan took a deep breath: "Anyway, since I was a child, I should be angry no matter what. Zhong Ziming said that day that he is superfluous," he pointed to his heart, aggravated Tone: "I'm not even superfluous, I'm like trash in this family! Zhong Can has parents, Zhong Ziming has a mother, and I..." He choked up, as if he was ashamed to say: "I don't care about anything in this family." No! When I come back, I have to see someone’s face, and I have to endure sudden relatives. Even after I grow up, because Zhong Ziming has a heart disease, I have to endure his repeated provocations unconditionally, I am really fed up!" He looked around, The Adam's apple twitched, "This is not my home, I don't have a home, even though I live here, what's the difference with an orphan?!"

His vision became blurred. When it came to this point, Zhong Kaifan tried his best to restrain his emotions: "Today, I am honest with you. Anyway, my mother is doing well now. Zhong Can is gone. If something happens to Lin Yuan again, I don't think there's much point in living—"

"Kaifan!" Zhong Dingheng interrupted him sharply, his breathing became short of breath, "Do you know what you are talking about?"

Zhong Kaifan stiffened his neck, and said in a rapid and high-pitched voice, "Why don't I know? I know very well in my heart that no one is more unforgettable than me! If Lin Yuan dies——I will die with him!" At this point , his voice became lighter instead: "Are you satisfied? Huh?"

Zhong Kaifan didn't want to argue any more, anyway, his father would never think about him, he deserved to be angry, tortured, and stimulated, and he had no way out.He walked towards the door, his back was bleak, his mood eased, and he said in a hoarse voice: "I didn't want to say these things today, but you insisted on crossing the line."

Zhong Dingheng's face was heavy, and he said firmly: "Why are you so reluctant to let go of Lin Yuan's matter? Let's not mention the matter that you gave up halfway through your medical studies. The family situation is special. But what did you do after you came back? I personally went to the set to visit the set, invested in him, helped his mother transfer to another hospital, and even intervened in online public opinion. Did I say anything about this? At the beginning, I told Xiao Zheng that I can’t force you too hard, as long as you can live on the surface, what? It's all easy to talk about. Look at what you did later? How can you look rational?"

Zhong Kaifan was about to leave. It turned out that his father knew about these things. He turned around and said firmly, "Do you want to ask me why I am gay?" Do you think I have embarrassed you?" He suddenly smiled, with tears in his eyes, and his brows stretched, "I will answer you now, I

Why do I like Lin Yuan, why have I been obsessed with a man for so many years.Because what I can't get in this family, I can get from Lin Yuan!I love him!I will die with him!You say I'm losing my mind, or you say I can't let it go, I've taken all the responsibilities that I should bear, I've endured what I should bear, and there's no way I can retreat.All along, you have been interrupting my life plan and interfering with my choices! "

"You quarreled with Lin Yuan, Zhong Can drove to pick up Lin Yuan, and I caused the accident on the way?" Zhong Dingheng was so angry that his liver hurt, and he snorted coldly, "I really wish I had such a big skill. "

As soon as Zhong Can was mentioned, Zhong Kaifan's Adam's apple twitched with difficulty, and his eyes were moist, "Yes, I am guilty of this matter. I have never excused myself. If I knew that something would happen to Zhong Can that day, I would stop him no matter what." He paused, and his tone became extremely firm: "But regarding Zhong Ziming's matter, you must not blame me. If you hadn't cheated first, put Xiaosan in the position, and destroyed the original family relationship, Zhong Ziming would have nothing to do with it at all. I will not become the stinking virtue I am now, let alone Zhong Can die in vain!"

After so many years, Zhong Kaifan finally said these words, he really had enough!

A painful expression appeared on Zhong Dingheng's face, and his entire face became extremely pale. Originally, he didn't want to talk about these things with his son, but wanted to have a good chat with him about his future life plans.Even if Kaifan wants to be with Lin Yuan for a long time in the future, he has to take care of his relationship and career, and he can't be as impulsive and irritable as before.But Zhong Dingheng didn't expect that in front of Kaifan, he didn't even have the right to persuade him.

Zhong Dingheng suddenly realized that it wasn't that Kai Fan couldn't listen to his persuasion, or that he couldn't listen to any of his persuasion.All the things that happened in the past made Kaifan completely lose his trust in him as a father, and because of Zhong Can's unexpected death, the thin family affection was almost exhausted.Father and son face each other, but rely on responsibility to maintain.

If the cloak of responsibility is gone, the two of them can't say anything, and any normal communication, in Zhong Kaifan's view, is nothing but interference and chilling.

Zhong Dingheng sat in the chair silently, watching Zhong Kaifan walk towards the door without hesitation, his back was determined.He gradually understood that the reason why Kaifan was irritable and impulsive was that when he was young, no one had ever appeased his inner anxiety and fear.When he grows up, his personality becomes stronger and he instinctively avoids the flaws in his personality.

Zhong Dingheng's eyes were cloudy, and he stared blankly at the group photo on the table. The three children were standing behind him. Although Ziming and Kai Fan were not smiling, at least the three children were by his side at that time.

He recalled seeing Lin Yuan that day, although Lin Yuan said that due to his occupation, he was not in a good state of mind.But Lin Yuan didn't have Kai Fan's obvious aggressiveness. In normal conversation, Lin Yuan basically didn't interrupt, and he was always listening. He was a very patient person.

Zhong Dingheng thought with self-blame that he thought too little about Kaifan's emotional needs. Before, he generally thought that Kaifan was only obsessed with love.Now it seems that Kai Fan is maintaining the strength that can support him to go on. There is more than just love between him and Lin Yuan.On the contrary, entangled with more emotional appeals, Zhong Kaifan and Lin Yuan can feel very comfortable together, and will not be irritable and irritable, so once Zhong Ziming uses Lin Yuan to stimulate Zhong Kaifan, Zhong Kaifan is prone to abnormalities.