So you're not really happy

Chapter 12 Dream

When Mrs. Zhao got up in the morning, her waist "squeaked" for a moment. Granny Zhao walked over to help her rub her waist. Mrs. Zhao smiled and said, "I'm old and useless! I guess I won't be able to live in a few years! "

Granny Zhao disagreed: "What's the matter! The old lady is in good health! In a few years, Xiao An and the others will grow up, maybe you can see them getting married!"

Mrs. Zhao seemed to think about it for a while, then turned her head and said to Granny Zhao: "Speaking of Xiaoan, why do I feel that this child is acting weird recently? She didn't listen to her when I told her about our generation, and she actually took the initiative last time." If you want me to say, you suddenly asked me 'what does it feel like to like someone?' Why do I feel that something is wrong!"

Upon hearing this, Grandma Zhao covered her mouth with a light smile and said, "Is there a male classmate chasing her at school! Aren't all children like this now?"

The old lady Zhao sighed: "Oh! The child is grown up, and Lifeng doesn't like to take care of things. Don't play puppy love like others for this child!"

Granny Zhao gently persuaded: "Don't worry about it, Xiao An is usually so obedient and won't mess around."

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At this time, Shen Zhi'an had no idea that in the eyes of her grandma and grandma, she had already been labeled as a "puppy love". She was in a fugue in class, and this was the last class. After a lot of long-winded words, he graciously announced that school was over, and then the students packed their schoolbags and left one after another.

Shen Zhian was packing her schoolbag while waiting for Wei Ling to be on duty. At this moment, she turned her head and saw Li Yichun and Cheng Su walking together in the aisle outside the window. Cheng Su was carrying a schoolbag on his body, and was carrying another in his hand. He followed Li Yichun, talking to Li Yichun from time to time. At this time, the students on the campus were already scattered, and the afterglow of the setting sun had not yet had time to dissipate. , distributed obliquely beside the tree-shaded path, Shen Zhian looked at Li Yichun and Cheng Su, and suddenly felt that they were eye-catching.

Shen Zhian was watching intently, when someone patted his shoulder, Shen Zhian was startled, turned around and saw Qin Xin looking at her strangely: "What's the matter? What can I see outside the window?" Her eyes looked out the window.

Shen Zhi'an concealed his gaze, and hurriedly said: "It's nothing!" It took a while to realize that Qin Xin didn't know Li Yichun and Cheng Su, and she was trying to cover it up by doing so.

Qin Xin was careless, didn't notice her unnaturalness, but asked Shen Zhian with a smile: "Tomorrow Saturday, shall we go to the bookstore together?" She seemed to know that Shen Zhian would refuse, so she took Shen Zhian's hand and shook it a few times: "Please! Come with me and I'll treat you to dinner."

Shen Zhi'an answered absently, and saw Wei Ling walking towards this side, and pushed her to go out: "Let's go! We should go back."

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Shen Zhian had a dream, the dream was chaotic and somewhat indescribable. She dreamed that she was hugged in someone's arms, kissing intimately, as if she had reproduced what she saw in the school pavilion that day. Shen Zhian seemed to be sitting On that person's lap, his waist was embraced, Shen Zhian felt hot and uncomfortable, especially when he was kissed, because in his dream, he didn't seem to have any special feeling, but he didn't know why he always had a feeling of Scary thoughts, as if I am doing a very shameful thing.

Shen Zhian knew that this was wrong, she wanted to push him away, but the scene suddenly changed, she was in the bedroom, her body was pressed down, she couldn't breathe, the scene was blurry, Shen Zhian didn't know what to do, but she wanted to see clearly Who is that person? Shen Zhian struggled to break free, opened her eyes and looked at the person who was pressing her down, when she saw clearly, her head "boomed", and she woke up suddenly.

With a "huh", Shen Zhian sat down on the bed suddenly. She tried to calm down, turned on the night light sideways, and the orange light immediately fell on the light blue quilt. The sound of Ling's sleeping breathing, as if thinking of something, Shen Zhi'an suddenly turned his body to look at Wei Ling.

Shen Zhi'an closed her eyes a little ashamedly. Just now, in her dream, she saw Wei Ling's delicate face. Wei Ling in the dream was very different from usual. She smiled and looked at herself with big bright eyes. For a moment, Shen Zhian felt that Wei Ling was like the rose left on the planet by the prince, sultry and charming.

Wei Ling slept defenselessly, and he could feel the frequency of breathing between the two sides of the nose. Shen Zhian looked at Wei Ling's face and fell into deep thought. Unlike himself, Wei Ling had a taciturn personality and always seemed to be silent. However, because of his cheerful personality and being at the same level as Wei Ling, he gradually became close to Wei Ling and got to know Wei Ling more and more. And this kind of Wei Ling seems to be becoming more and more different in his heart. !

It has to be said that Wei Ling is very beautiful, but because he doesn't like to smile very much, he always keeps a straight face, so he looks arrogant and arrogant, but it gives people a feeling of repelling others thousands of miles away.

Shen Zhi'an licked his slightly dry lips, and couldn't help cursing himself, what was he doing, Li Yichun and Cheng Su provoked him, and he started to have sex with Wei Ling, thinking of this, Shen Zhi'an couldn't help feeling ashamed, wishing to stretch out his hand Slap yourself to wake yourself up.

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In the morning, while Shen Zhian was eating, he unconsciously started to stare at Wei Ling. Wei Ling didn't know if he learned from Mrs. Zhao. Not eating, picking and choosing, Wei Ling opened the corners of his eyes slightly upwards, his face was very delicate, Shen Zhian observed Wei Ling quietly, and thought to himself, well, the eyes are not as big as his own, but they are beautiful, the nose is very straight, and the mouth is a little bit. Thin, but no warping of its own.

Shen Zhi'an smashed the egg custard with chopsticks, and continued to think, yes, I heard that people with thin lips are very fickle.

Thinking of this, Shen Zhian turned his head to look at Wei Ling, but heard Mrs. Zhao yelling from the side: "Xiao An, what are you doing? Why are you staring at Wei Ling all the time? Why don't you eat well?" who was eating something from the bowl seriously with his head down. Hearing this, Wei Ling raised her head, just in time to meet Shen Zhian's gaze, which she had no time to avoid, and she looked at Shen Zhian in a daze.

Shen Zhian noticed Wei Ling's gaze, lowered his head in a hurry, a little embarrassed, and explained in a hurry: "Well, I want to ask Ah Ling if he wants to go to the bookstore with me today? Qin Xin is going to the bookstore to buy books."

Wei Ling nodded: "Yes, I just want to buy it too."

Mrs. Zhao listened to the conversation between the two children, and said from the side: "Since you are going to buy books, let the driver take you there, but you still have to eat well." The last sentence was obviously for Shen Zhian, and Shen Zhian quickly lowered his head Eat in silence.

Shen Zhian and Qin Xin made an appointment to meet at the bookstore, when Shen Zhian and Wei Ling got off the car, Qin Xin was already waiting for them at the door of the bookstore.

Qin Xin was a little surprised to see Wei Ling coming, but she didn't care when she thought they were together every day. When they got close, they went into the shop together.

The bookstore has two floors. There is a reading room on the first floor. There are various magazines on the bookshelves next to it. There are some classic series on the right. The second floor is all kinds of review materials. Qin Xin usually reads comics here, and Shen Zhian I prefer to go upstairs, but today I stayed on the first floor abnormally. Shen Zhian went to the right cubicle and said to Wei Ling: "I'm downstairs, do you want to come together?"

Wei Ling shook his head and said, "I'll go upstairs and have a look."

Shen Zhian seemed to be waiting for her words, seeing her go upstairs, he seemed secretly relieved.

The three quickly separated, each looking for the book he wanted to read, and Shen Zhian went to the right compartment.

Most of the people who read books here are adults, probably because the weather is hot and there are not many people, they all read their own books. Shen Zhian glanced at the bookshelves, and suddenly stopped at a place where the row of books was placed very low. Probably not many people read it, and a layer of inconspicuous dust fell on it. Shen Zhian squatted down gently and looked at the row of books——"Gay Subculture", "Their World", "Chinese Women's Emotion and Sex", " Fun Textual Research", "Ambiguous History", "Research on Gay Writing", "Film Secret Words", "Homosexual Health Intervention", "Records of the Trial of Oscar Wilde"………

Shen Zhian couldn't help clicking her tongue. Just looking at the titles of these books was enough to leave a deep impression on her. Shen Zhian quietly looked around and found that no one noticed her. She thought about it secretly, and reached out to choose. An unobvious copy of "Freedom and Bondage", and then gently moved it to a corner.

However, after she took a rough look at the content inside, Shen Zhian couldn't help sighing that he wanted to find out the reason for a certain emotional tendency. Who wants to read those messy cases, let alone judge what sex/inclination he is. Shen Zhian was a little discouraged, she looked down at the introduction on the title page of the book, and wanted to hit the wall in annoyance.

Time passed quickly, the morning passed quickly, and it was almost noon, Shen Zhian twisted his aching neck, looked around again, then secretly put the book back to its original place, and went to find Qin Xin and Wei Ling.

Qin Xin was obviously obsessed with the comics, she didn't even bother to raise her head when she saw Shen Zhian, she just said: "Call Wei Ling down! Let's go back together."

Shen Zhian had no choice but to go to the second floor. There were fewer people upstairs and it was very quiet. When Shen Zhian found Wei Ling, Wei Ling was leaning against the corner with a book on his face. He seemed to have fallen asleep. Shen Zhian walked over slowly. Stopping in front of Wei Ling, she looked at Wei Ling's protruding hair and small earlobes, and couldn't bear to call her, but Wei Ling seemed to sense that someone was coming, and she saw that she gently lifted the book covering her face In the corner, seeing Shen Zhian staring at him, he frowned awkwardly, recently Shen Zhian seemed to always like to stare at him.

Seeing Wei Ling's suspicious gaze, Shen Zhi'an turned his face away and said, "Ah, Ah Ling, let's go back! It's almost noon."

Wei Ling nodded in understanding, got up and put the book back, and went downstairs with Shen Zhian.

The time in early summer always flies by quickly, it is hot outside, only Zhizhi is still singing songs endlessly, as if he is going to use up all his strength, the sun outside is very poisonous, Shen Zhian just went to buy water for a while, his forehead Beads of sweat were already oozing, Wei Ling casually handed her a tissue, Shen Zhian froze for a moment, then took it, and touched Wei Ling's finger, Shen Zhian held the paper, hesitated for a long time, and chose to sit down. Beside Qin Xin.

Qin Xin ate ice cream and asked Shen Zhian: "I heard that you are going to summer camp, is it true?"

Shen Zhi'an was seriously counting the chocolate beans on the ice cream. Hearing Qin Xin's question, he suddenly thought of the scene he ran into in the teacher's office that day. His expression was a little unnatural. He looked up at Wei Ling who was opposite, and saw that she was eating like no one else was around. , and then answered Wei Xin: "It's true, the teacher said that you can go to the English group if you sign up."

Qin Xin nodded, enviously said: "Oh! I was going too, but my mother said she would take me abroad to see my grandfather, so I had to give up."

Shen Zhi'an comforted her and said, "Isn't this great! I still want to go abroad! It's a pity that Dad doesn't always have time."

Hearing what she said, Qin Xin frowned slightly, as if thinking that going abroad was also a good choice.

After eating, the few people were not in a hurry to go back. They wandered outside for a long time, and only returned home in the evening.

That night Wei Ling went to Shen Zhian's room as usual, but Shen Zhian tactfully said that Wei Ling would not read stories to her in the future.

Wei Ling keenly felt that Shen Zhian was estranged from her, especially recently. She either kept a distance from her, or stared at her hesitantly. Taking this opportunity, she finally couldn't help asking Shen Zhian: "Why? Is it? Did I do something to make you unhappy? Why are you acting weird recently!"

When Shen Zhian was asked by her, he felt even more uncomfortable, and quickly denied it: "No! I'm just, just..." Shen Zhian really thought about it for a while, but he couldn't tell why, and he secretly scolded himself, why was he so guilty, I I didn't do anything wrong, isn't it just a dream?

Seeing that Wei Ling was still standing at the door waiting for his explanation, Shen Zhi'an had no choice but to say: "Isn't this the final exam? I'm so tossed about, I don't sleep well, I'm afraid I'll disturb you."

Wei Ling frowned in surprise. She didn't expect it to be because of this. She kindly said, "It's okay. I'm used to it anyway. Besides, can you really do it by yourself? I mean at night." Everyone in the Shen family knew that Shen Zhian was most afraid of it. Hei, you need someone to accompany you when you sleep.

Shen Zhian was silent for a while, and finally chose to compromise. She scolded herself in her heart for being too cowardly, but couldn't help comforting herself: escape is not a problem, if you dare to face the bleak reality, just dream it!Think of it as fighting poison with poison!Thinking of this, Shen Zhi'an really felt a little better. She tried her best to suppress her small thoughts and let Wei Ling into the room.

The author has something to say: Tomorrow... Continue

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Posted on 2018-05-09

Revised on 2018-05-18

Second revision 2018-05-22