[Variety Drama] Serious Nonsense

Diary of God:

Foreword: Yulip humans, you just need to remember that I, the Black Cat Pie, are your gods.

The king's recent life is very bad.Originally, the king was a god who could do whatever he wanted, and was served all kinds of delicacies and snacks at fixed points.But ever since the damn shit-shoveling officer was rescued by this king Wei Wei mercifully and kindly from a alien who violated his territory and almost touched his massage board (keyboard) with his dirty body, She began to go beyond the good and the bad.

On a certain day in the second year of Pai Shen: The shit-shoveling officer is about to leave me again to buy supplies in a mortal supermarket, but this king is very tolerant and kind, so he coldly asks the shit-shoveling officer to give me the canned food (cat) canned) back.Who knew that the stupid shit-shoveling officer was so presumptuous, he didn't pay attention to my words at all, and such a simple task with low IQ made me wait from afternoon to night!The angry king immediately lost his claws and used the palace door (door) of the territory as a scratching board for gods (cat scratching board), but this was not enough to bear the anger of the king, and the king even went to the excrement room of the shit shovel officer , Shunpao pulled some white paper (rolled paper) often used by shit shovel officers, and pro-paw tore them into pieces.

The king thought that he had shown his anger clearly enough, but who knew that the excrement shoveler didn't notice it when he returned to the king's territory, and just fell asleep.Hey, this king who is sympathetic to the people can only tear open the paper bag brought back by the excrement shovel officer and find the canned food of God.However, the king soon encountered a new problem, the can of gods could not be opened with the king's royal claw.Even if it's provocative, let the servant shoveler solve this little trouble that is not worth my king's trouble.

Shit shovel officer, I will temporarily treat your sleeping position as a promise to open a can of cats for me when I get up together!

A certain day in the second year of Pai Shen: The shit-shoveling officer has gone too far recently, always leaving the king alone in the territory for three days, and the king threatened him with a hunger strike because of this, but the shit-shoveling officer was not even attacked by the king at all. The despicable power was so shocking that it even reduced the number of times I scratched my stomach.The most unforgivable thing is to let a male human of the same species as the shit shovel officer sit on the throne (sofa) of this king.So I decided to plan an earth-shattering feat: I successfully used the sharpest teeth in the world to bite through the toy wire (telephone wire) that the shit shovel officer cared about most in those days, and then used the world's The most flexible royal claw in the world claws out the vocal molar (mobile phone) given to the shit shovel officer by the male human being from the shit shovel officer's storage belt (carry bag). You must know that only the king can give the shit shovel officer a reward!Come on, shit-shoveling officer of Fish Lip, feel the wrath of God!

Meow, when the king of Japan blocked the door to accept the sincere apology and kneel down from the shit shovel officer, and even stretched out his claws to sit and wait for the shit shovel officer to kneel and lick, but the shit shovel officer completely ignored the king, dressed in weird clothes I went out, and took my favorite toy (cat teaser) with me!But what deserves to be appreciated by the king is that she served the king with a full banquet (cat food and cat food and cat food) before leaving.

But this king no longer wants to mention what happened that night. The male human who invaded this king's throne also brought another creature that was even more fearless, and that creature that didn't know good or bad suddenly kicked open the door of my palace. (door), still lingering in this king's territory.This king will naturally not admit that he was almost scared, this king wants to teach him a lesson!So this king revealed two royal claws that had been practiced (sharpened their claws). Unexpectedly, the brave human beings bound his limbs with strings before he could show his attacking moves. It's an insult to the dignity and prestige of this king!The cat is a cat, and the damn shit-shoveling officer is too late to save her. I really let down the king's long-term kindness to her!

But seeing that the shit-shoveling officer still looks at me with concern from time to time (actually he doesn’t), I will forgive you (for three meals)!

Such-and-such day in the second year of Pai Shen: This king has finally been in a happy mood these past few days, because this king has met the princess in the life of a cat.King Rong Ben rolled happily on the throne for a while before continuing to write.

That day, the king was basking in the sun on the high platform (window sill) of his territory, cleaning his imperial claws by the way.Then the king saw her, the cat with snow-white, bright and soft fur—all the beautiful words in the world can’t be used too much for her—when he was destined to be the mother cat of the king’s concubine, the king felt that she was good at The rationality of the gods upheld collapsed at that moment.Her clear blue eyes just glanced at me inadvertently, and I could feel the beating ball on his chest obviously twice as fast as usual.At that time, the king was so excited that he almost rolled off the imperial platform, but fortunately, the king's eyes were sharp and his claws were about to grab it.Oh, the princess, she took one more look at the king, and let the king happily roll off the throne again.

This king has made a big decision, he must chase after the princess.So the king temporarily abandoned his people (only one shit-shoveling officer) and the territory, and embarked on the road to find his concubine alone and unrestrainedly.Meow~ I really admire my courage and determination!

The king met his concubine again in the community that afternoon. Her blue eyes touched my heart every time she blinked. A slender beard is the most precious treasure in my eyes, meow meow!The king's spring heart sprouted again.It's a pity that facing such a burning-eyed king, she just gave him a cold look, turned her head proudly, and then jumped onto the lawn, brushing past the disheartened king.Meow!Fortunately, she is the future princess of this king, her figure and steps are so elegant, and her personality is so suitable for this king.King Rong rolled happily on the lawn again.

This king must let his future princess know that she must belong to this king.So this king loyally acted as the most caring guard (idiot).Guard her, lick her fur, and get delicious fat fish from the mortals with fish lips to dedicate to this king's beautiful concubine.But why is Concubine Mei still so aloof and only willing to give a little charity (disgusting) glances to the king every time?

The humans of Yuzui always say: Fat fish is for those who are prepared (opportunities are for those who are prepared), this king will never give up until he catches up with the future princess.

The fourth day of chasing his wife in the second year of Pai Shen: The king's concubine once again left the king, and the king began to doubt life, doubt life, doubt dreams... It seems that the king should give up, and it is time to return to rule This king's shit shoveler is here (please brainstorm the scene where Pai Shen lay on the ground with his paws covering his face and lamenting).

But Lady Luck is still on my side.On the way back to the palace, the king's pricked ears sharply caught the princess' cry for help. Without any hesitation, the king quickly ran in the direction of the concubine Mei.

The hateful human held the long stick with a net in the front and cornered the king's concubine to the corner. The concubine hissed in a low voice to warn, and the human with fish lips tried to catch her many times.The brave Ben Wang was furious at that time, and he flew up, showing his excellent jumping ability, and scratched the damn human with the sharpest claws in the world, which made the king's anger soar.

The brave and handsome king gave the princess a chance to escape. She rushed out of the narrow road with a "swish", and the witty king naturally escaped successfully.

The fifth day of Pai Shen's second year of chasing his wife: The king's concubine was convinced by the king's bravery yesterday, and agreed to rule the people with the king (the only shit-shoveling officer).I still remember that the princess used her soft and fluffy body to gently rub against the side of the king in admiration, the figure of the king was in the center of those blue eyes reflecting the brilliance of the stars, and the warm and wet tongue took care of the king The hair, the inseparable follower of the king every day, and the wonderful feeling of our twin tails licking and touching each other... This is the first time in the life of the king that he has become a real male cat who has tasted the taste .Wang Ben happily smirked at the diary for a while.

The third day of Pai Shen's two-year official stay with the concubine: The king and the concubine have seen the stars, the moon, and the busy humans in the past few days.It's time for the king to take the princess back to the king's palace and introduce her to the shit-shoveling officer of the king. Presumably the shit-shoveling officer will be very happy to see that the king has brought the princess back!

No, you have to be happy!

In the evening, as soon as the king and princess arrived at the entrance of the palace, they saw the excrement shovel officer sitting on the steps with the male human who had sat on the king's throne.Just when the aloof king wanted to lower his figure to rub against the shit-shoveling officer who hadn't seen him for a long time, she actually stuck to that human from the neck up.Meow, shouldn't the tail be used?

So this king, who was quite interested, watched the whole scene patiently.

Oh, shit shoveler, why are you looking at me with this expression? It should be your honor to be here in person.

The second year of Pai Shen and a certain day: The king's concubine and the king lived in the palace of the king, and jointly ruled our shit-shoveling officer.The king introduced the comfortable massage board (keyboard) to the princess, shared delicious mountain and sea delicacies (cat food and cat food and cat food), played with inexhaustible boxes (tissue box), and practiced royal claws ( grinding claws with furniture)...

What makes the king most happy is that the princess seems to be pregnant with the king's child.Your god is about to become a father, why don't you celebrate with the whole world.

It's a pity that the shit-shoveling officer has never changed his nature, often returning late, and there is not enough food for the gods.Forget it, I won't write it anymore, I will talk about it later when the king and the princess take advantage of the shit-shoveling officer's absence to make a sweet and greasy post.

Postscript: Send God to send you two words

1. This king will always be your god, and everything must be obeyed by him.

2. Once you have any confusion, read the first article again.

The author has something to say: Little Theater:

#If both Flora and BAU are on Weibo#

@Flora: My damn cat fucked someone up today. (Group photo 1: White cat lying on its stomach Photo 2: Pie staring at the camera (55 retweets) (1200 likes)

@瑞德: Cats have an average gestation period of 65 days, but they can give birth at any time within a week before or after delivery.Kittens born earlier than 58 days are prone to premature death or weak constitution during delivery, which is considered premature. //@Flora: Today my damn cat made someone else's belly bigger. (Group photo 1: The white cat lying on its stomach Photo 2: Pie with contemptuous eyes @Morgan: Can you talk well, the boy on the right? //@瑞德: The average pregnancy period of a cat is 65 days, but within a week before and after delivery May give birth at any time. Kittens born earlier than 58 days are prone to premature death or weak constitution during delivery, which is considered premature. //@望罗拉: Today my damn cat made someone else’s belly bigger. (Group Photo 1: Lie Picture 2 of the white cat I wrote: Contemptuous pie @Garcia: The goddess’s Weibo is full of truth. //@Morgan: Can you speak well, the boy on the right? //@瑞德: The average pregnancy period of a cat It is 65 days long, but it may be born at any time within a week before and after delivery. Kittens born earlier than 58 days are prone to premature death or weak constitution during delivery, which is considered premature. //@末罗拉: Today my damn cat is getting bigger Other people’s stomachs. (Group photo 1: The white cat lying on its stomach. Photo 2: The pie with contemptuous eyes @猫神派: Humans with fishy lips, isn’t it the photo of this king, I’m excited to see you. //@garcia: Goddess’s microblogs are full of words. //@瑞德: The average pregnancy period of a cat is 65 days, but it may give birth at any time within a week before and after delivery. Kittens born earlier than 58 days are prone to premature death or physical fitness during delivery Weak, considered premature.//@末罗拉: Today my damn cat made someone else’s belly bigger. (Group photo 1: The white cat lying on its stomach Photo 2: The pie with contemptuous eyes@你的好Author: Thank me Damn (flipping light) the girl’s feeding (landmine)! I found the nickname so serious and a bit uncomfortable ＿(:з"∠)＿