HP One More Chance.

It's a warm, genuine, heartfelt smile.

That feeling is actually really subtle.

—Maybe, all this is not as bad as originally expected?

If only it could last, if... if you could stop being scared, if you could stop crying.

"That's good."

The author has something to say: Miss author PS:

I think I may have a grudge against the professor. (Merlin knew that when I was typing this chapter, the computer crashed every half an hour while typing...)

I continue in a cold sweat every time... (If the manuscript I worked so hard to write is gone after a crash...)

After waiting for so long, it’s finally here, Kiss (far eye) But in reality, Alice’s first kiss should actually be given to Regulus in Chapter 5...

Still, who cares. (Professors don't care anymore... so be it)

Another PS: Because the author has been too busy recently, there is no way to research the party, so if you find that December 1977, 12 is not a full moon night...just ignore it...

☆, 13.3

Hogwarts on Christmas Eve is undoubtedly lively.

Whether it is inside or outside the castle, the air is filled with a pleasant smell, like the temperature and breath left by fireworks blooming in the night sky, which contains a lot of happiness.The bell tower in the distance suddenly heard the zero o'clock chime, and everyone heard it and knew that it was time for the dance to end.

"ended."

Alice, who was lying flat on the grass field with Snape, said calmly.Looking at the deep night reflected in her eyes all the time, listening to the long bell, she suddenly felt that the past of Christmas was so sudden and ordinary.

Originally, the script she had in mind was not like this.

"I was thinking, 17 years old Christmas ... maybe it will be more fun than the previous 16 years."

"Then what else do you want?" Snape asked her.

"I didn't think about it... um."

She felt that she was a little guilty.

——What else can I think?

All of this should have ended like this.

But she clearly felt that there was a feeling of unwillingness in her heart.It's just that, because she is trying her best to prevent herself from venting this emotion, and it just so happens that her hand is being held by the other party, so, as originally expected, she will not become cold because of fear at night like this and trembling.

—— "Why do you know he's not there?! I've... I can only put all my hopes there, I'm scared, I don't know anything, but I still... Even if you take me to find him , but if the banquet is over and he leaves, what should I do...I don't know why, but my heart just feels cold, I just feel...frightened and..."

It's been a long time, and I haven't shown such feelings in front of another person.

There, in fact, contains another self.

[But you know, you'll never see him again, poor Alice. 】

Never see him again.

yes.

--Maybe.

But she still didn't know, she didn't even have the perception of loss, she only knew that her heart became empty and real at that moment.

She finally realized that she was just 17-year-old Alice.

【You are just me in the past. 】

Even if you are attached in every possible way, even if you want to stay with me in every possible way, no matter how beautiful a dream is, it can only be a dream.

Even if the dream has been tightly held in my hands, it will still gradually appear unpredictable cracks and usher in inevitable fragmentation due to the flow of time again.

[I want you to stay here, Severus. 】

But everyone knows that this is impossible.

for a long time.

"Hey, Severus, do you have someone you like?"

This question was a bit sudden, so the person who was asked at the time suddenly felt a little at a loss.

"..."

Snape subconsciously clenched her hand, which he had been holding from just now, and remained silent.

"Why, don't you want to answer?"

Aware of his strangeness, Alice turned her head with a wry smile, and carefully looked at his side face under the silver light emitted by the grass.

——His expression may have always been so indifferent.

Or, that was just his best disguise to stay out of it.

"You always do, Severus."

Seeing that he had no intention of responding to her, after a while, she continued: "...It doesn't matter if you don't answer, I know."

——You, in fact, have already acquiesced.

She understands.

Of all the feelings about "love" in the world, the most cruel one is just that one.

"If, I didn't just meet you today, if you have always been by my side, like today, then," she paused, took a deep breath and closed her eyes:

"Maybe, I've fallen in love with you."

She knew she wasn't joking.

"What I said was serious."

To love someone, in fact, there is no need to prepare in advance.But you always need to meet the right person at the right time, just like, every day the sun will rise from the east as usual, but you have to get up at the right time to see the first ray of dawn.

"You think too much, I don't have anyone I like."

Snape answered her in his usual, slightly repulsive tone, and then added, "I don't know yet, how it feels."

"Really..." Alice suddenly opened the corners of her mouth, smiling with a hint of feigned complacency, "Don't you even like yourself?"

— that's really bad.

"Yes...so what."

"No, it's nothing, it's just." For some reason, her eyes seemed to be filled with sand, and they started to hurt again, and her nose suddenly became sore:

"...It's fine even if you hate everyone in the world, but at least you have to like yourself, because if you don't even like yourself, it will be a very bad thing..."

——If you don’t even like yourself, it will be a very bad thing.

Repeating this sentence, she suddenly froze.

In her mind, it was as if the valve was reopened in an instant, and all the sealed memories changed into flashing pictures at that moment, and her eyes were filled with tears in an instant.

【"...You, it's always like this. Even if you encounter many sad things that ordinary people seem to encounter, you will still persevere alone, and you will not say anything about admitting defeat."

Late at night, in the very ordinary brick house in Spider's End Lane-his home, she was with him.

"I'm just your work partner, not your nanny, Severus."

She was talking on her own, nagging words that he wouldn't hear, when her right hand was suddenly grasped tightly by another cold hand, and there was no way to break free.

She remembered that at that time, he said:

"...Don't go."

She knew she would stay.

But she can't.

"I am me, you know that?"

——The person you like is not me.

"...Is there really nothing I can do about you... Heh..." She chuckled helplessly, but it implied that she was laughing at herself. After a long time, she finally squeezed out the words that she had silently recited countless times in her heart:

"Sev, I'm not leaving."

She stayed with him, sleepless all night, until the sound of a night watchman ringing copper bells on the street in the early morning, she finally pushed away his hand, took her coat, as if she had never been here in the first place The same, without leaving any traces of your own past arrival.

Before leaving, she remembered that the moment she closed the door of his house, she kicked the door of his house, which was already not very strong, in a fit of anger:

"Stupid, even if you don't love me, you still have to love yourself!"

...]

She heard that her voice was a little choked, but she still tried her best to finish every word clearly:

"...Also, you don't always work so hard, you have to cherish your only life, and then work harder to find the person you really like... You have to treat her well, miss her every day, miss her, Look at her, and then, my heart will warm up and won't be always cold..."

"What are you talking about?" Inexplicably, Snape suddenly felt that her words sounded so funny,

"If you're not used to saying things that care about others, don't say them. I'd rather you yell at me as soon as you open your mouth than say these things."

"But I said... what I said is serious, you must remember it well, because..."

There is no way to continue.

Alice suddenly broke away from the hand held by Snape, sat up from the grass, turned her head to face him, and covered her mouth with both hands, for fear that she would really cry out. Be heard by him.

"What happened to you?"

Seeing her sitting up, Snape felt that something was wrong, so he also got up and looked at her, "...I've been nervous all night, did I say the wrong thing to offend you again?"

"Hmm..." Alice didn't turn around, but just kept shaking her head there like a rattle.

She dared not answer him, not even a single sentence.

"baffling."

Snape was immediately puzzled by her, "If you feel unwilling, there is still time to go back to the castle, the crowd has not dispersed, if it weren't for you..."

After all, Snape was about to walk over to pull her up from the grass, but unexpectedly, before she reached her side, she had already stood up first and then reached out her hand to stop him from continuing to walk.

"...Alice."

"Sorry," Alice tried her best to return to her normal tone, pretending to be calm, but she still couldn't hide the embarrassment in her heart.

"...Severus, I'm tired, sleepy...I..."

——Everything, let’s stop here.

The joke is about to end.

"I'll go back to the dormitory by myself first, sorry..."

With a hoarse voice, she picked up broken syllables to lie for herself.It's just that, from the beginning to the end, she didn't turn around again, even to look at him.

Just like herself three years later, at that time, even if it was a farewell, she didn't want him to know that she had missed even half a minute.

All regrets can be summed up in one unspeakable word.

All love can be attributed to that moment of invisible time.

All the guilt and hatred can be attributed to such an endless snow and rain.

——It's a pity that you let go of the hands I stretched out in the end.

"sorry."

[You found out?Alice. 】

— None of this is true.

[However, I am leaving soon, and I will never come back to this world. 】

How to do.

—Have you thought it through carefully?

"Goodbye."

In the vast field of verdant grass, the lake was still calm enough to reflect the bright moon. At the moment she left, it seemed that something was swirling like a feather and falling on the mirror surface, gradually melting.

"..."

Snape silently watched her receding back, until she disappeared at the end of what he could see, and then he realized that everything around him was completely different from when he first came here .

Snowing.

He stretched out his hand in a daze, spread his palm, let the pure white fine powder fall on his hand, melted into water due to the heat in his hand, and then slowly fell, drop after drop.

Like, her tears.

"...crybaby."

He remembered that all her strange behavior just now was just because——she was actually crying, and he knew it.

"I said it all, you think too much."

He suddenly smiled slightly, and there seemed to be a bitter taste gradually spreading on the tip of his tongue.The warm touch on the lips has not yet completely dissipated, on the contrary, it seems to be branded there, becoming more and more clear.

——If I say, I have found someone I like.

how about you?

"Don't go, okay."

Distance, tireme, breakdown, fightin

Silence, this train runs off it tracks

Kissme, trytofixit, wouldyoujusttrytolisten (you kiss me, trytofixit, would you just trytolisten)

Hangup, giveup, for the life of us we can't get it back

In the vast expanse of white snow, the darkness has never been burnt out because of the flash of love.

The long night is endless, but the dream should have come to an end.

The author has something to say: the thirteen chapters are finally finished, so the second part of the article is also finished.

In a few days, I will start writing the third part, which is the second half of this article... (It is finally closer to the end)

By the way, what is written in the [] box should be the words of Alice in reality.

It is necessary to explain: (I feel my thinking is cramped, it seems that no one can understand...)

A dying 20-year-old Alice creates a dream in her consciousness, trapping Sev's consciousness in it too.

What reappeared in the dream was the scene on Christmas Day when Alice was 17 years old. (But all memories of Severus have been deleted by Alice herself)

If Severus couldn't get out of the dream in the end, then in reality he would die with Alice.

that's all.

☆, 14.0

——When fate handed you over to me, love ate away like a strong dove poison.

The vast expanse of white snow covered the deserted wilderness, and the boots would inadvertently leave footprints rustling as they walked through the foamy powder.In the gray sky, the crow seemed to be tired of hibernating, so it circled around in the empty sky, staring at it.

Alice walked to the center of the frozen lake alone, took a long breath, then waved the magic wand in her hand, and easily used illusion to condense a guitar that was exactly the same as the one she played when she was a child. piano.

When I was a child, I used to snuggle in my mother's arms while listening to her playing this piano, and fell asleep peacefully under the beautiful sound of the piano.

—that was her only childhood consolation.

"……I am back."

She lovingly caressed the piano, which was as devoid of heat as her hand, and stretched out her hand to open the cover, her slender fingers gently stroking the black and white keys.

As long as you press down a little harder, the different piano sounds will immediately spread from the icy air by vibrating each other, and reverberate for a long time.

the last time.

——The piece of music that accompanied her throughout her childhood, the rhyme of the long stream of water, soothing her living in a lonely world like a warm current, is the most beautiful lullaby in the world.

But today, she finally wants to use this song to say her final farewell.

"I'm sorry, I didn't listen well, but I still... came here."

Her tears kept dripping on her dancing fingers, splashing bursts of water.When the notes are pouring out one by one, all the thoughts seem to be smashed into the rhythm, planting the deepest poison and eroding the hearts of everyone who hears the wailing.

The song will end, and the people will disperse.

——You will never know, in the face of death, all I think about is how cold, dark, and painful the world without you will be in the next second.

But you don't know, you, forget.

The author has something to say: Recently, I feel that the more I write, the more I feel resentful.

— When the world offers me to you, the dream fades away like a light butterfly kiss.

——When fate handed you over to me, love ate away like a strong dove poison.

The last sentence is a quote from 7.0, which is the beginning of the second part of this story, giving people a light pink feeling.The idea comes from a song in the album "Flower Jue", "Butterfly Kiss".Butterfly kiss means a cautious, close kiss, a very light kiss.In my heart, this kiss is the best way to describe the ambiguity between Regulus and Alice.

Of course, Alice loves Severus, and before they were 20 years old, they had this close and cautious relationship.

The next sentence is a quote from 14.0, which is the beginning of the third part of this story, giving people a blood red feeling.The idea still comes from a song in the album "Hua Jue", "Honey Poison".Dove poison is used here, and it is said that dove feathers are highly poisonous.In ancient times, poisoned wine was given, and most of the poison mixed in the wine was dove poison.

This story was conceived from the very beginning, and it was a very resentful story.That's what I felt when the author Mr. told me the general idea of ​​this story and hoped that I could participate in writing this story together.But with the thinking of a science student (the author is a science student), I always feel that if I don’t write something like "corroding the bone like a dove's poison", I am too sorry for my brain that always likes whimsical ideas.

Therefore, the next story belongs to the story of Alice and Severus after the age of 20, which will be completely different from the previous one.

Avril Lavigne released an album a few years ago, "Goodbye Lullaby", I think, probably the Alice I want to write feels like this, Goodbye Lullaby.

☆, 14.1

It snowed all night without pause, without sound, without end.

It seemed like a funeral without crying, only the icy cold wind blew the sky and covered the ground with snowflakes flying, and the vast expanse of whiteness seemed to fade away the scenery.

In the nothingness, there is only an empty nothingness.Trying his best to struggle to open his eyes, the paleness suddenly hurt the eyes that were used to the darkness.

"..."

When Severus woke up from last night's deep sleep, he looked around, and there was only a white desolation left.

——Did it snow so much last night?

He couldn't help muttering to himself, "It's just one night."

He stood up with great effort, and patted the powdered snow and frozen frost on his body, his hands were suddenly wet, full of ice-cold snow water.He was very surprised that he just lay in the snow with his clothes on all night, his limbs did not become as cold as expected, but were always warm, as if someone had cast a warming spell on himself.

Still a little sleepy.

Maybe it's because I stayed in the dream for too long, after all, my body doesn't have that much mental power to resist the dreamer's imposed consciousness.It is also very tiring to keep tense to prevent one's consciousness from being invaded by Alice.

He rubbed his sleepy eyes, then took a few steps forward in a casual manner, and after realizing that the lake in front of him was still in his memory from last night, he quickened his pace and trotted over.

--Do not.

When he approached the lake, he was able to see clearly that everything was completely different from last night.

The dark blue bottomless lake lying in front of it has not frozen at all under the circumstances of so much snow and the temperature has obviously become very low, and the lake water is still floating under the cold wind. Ripples.

"what is that?"

His eyes sharply swept across the other side of the lake not far away, a touch of black and bright red stood out against the white background.

He suddenly felt a little flustered, but still took out his magic wand and walked over carefully, finally found a hiding spot closest to them, turned around and hid quietly behind a big tree, watching the situation quietly.

However, in just a few minutes, his eyes widened in astonishment.

"You know I want to kill you, but you still come."

Snape actually heard his own voice coming from that direction, and...

"Yes, here I am, Severus Snape."

——It was Alice's voice! ?

Snape almost ran out from behind the tree and stared straight at the two people facing each other in that direction.

He unexpectedly saw that one of the two was him in a black robe, and the other was Alice in a bright red dress with loose long hair.

--This scene……

A year and a half ago.

He remembered, always remembered clearly.

He killed her.

——That was destined to be his nightmare forever.

"What a pity, Miss Miku," Snape said, and the next second he raised his wand and shouted the fatal curse:

"Avada Kedavra!"

The dazzling green light pierced the silent night, the spell of never returning was uttered in a trembling voice, and the wand was pointed straight at the opposite person who had accepted death unprepared and safely, everything seemed extremely sad , Even the farewell seemed meaningless.

"... From now on... we will not default on each other."

At that time, he didn't know if he heard it wrong.The moment the other party fell to the ground, the words without the end sound reached Snape's ears very clearly.

But even if he wakes up in an instant, it's too late.

——Those water-blue eyes will no longer look at him.

He always remembered, because that's where the tragedy started.

At this moment, he saw another self.

"Miss Miku, you can't escape."

He heard another self holding a wand, facing her just like in the old scene - 20-year-old Alice.

"I had no intention of running away, Severus, from the beginning."

Alice's stubborn and forceful voice sounded a little desolate and sad, "Don't you want to kill me?"

After finishing speaking, she casually threw the poplar wand in her arms into the calm lake beside her in a perfect parabola without hesitation.

"You want my life, I'll give it to you, but from now on...we won't default on each other."

She said so, and then stood still, and closed her blue eyes that were condensed with water mist, as if she was going to accept the baptism of death gladly.

no regrets.

He saw it.

The other Snape, who had been scrutinizing her indifferently with his inherent indifferent eyes, said nothing.

But the real Snape knew what he was going to say next.

"Avada Kedavra!"

A slightly trembling voice kept vibrating, reverberating, and disappearing in the cold air.It seems to be a ruthless announcement that the song is over, even if you know that everything has come to an end, but you still can't change the ending at all.

Once again, he witnessed this tragedy with his own eyes.

"Alice!"

Snape seemed to be crazy for a moment, shouted her name, and went straight to the direction where the voice came from.

"Alice!"

——He had never tried to yell so hoarsely, even when his dearest relatives died, he had never yelled like this.

In the past, he thought that human instinct would automatically hide the most fragile and rare feelings in his subconscious mind.

Some feelings, as long as they are never expressed, they will never be discovered by others one day.

He had thought so.

However, he was still too naive after all.

The woman who was still standing in front of him just a second ago, now fell silently in his arms, no matter how he called, she never opened her eyes again.

"Alice...Alice!"

In an instant, Snape's mind went blank, as if a sudden and huge blow had robbed his brain of nothing, killing all his sanity.

He looked at her in his arms in a daze, calling her name over and over again, as if he had exhausted all the emotions he could use in his life, and he was powerless to try again.

——It turns out that silence can really silence a beating heart.

It wasn't until this moment that he suddenly remembered that he didn't understand from the beginning, why he was so ruthless to kill her that day.

Moreover, in such a ruthless and cold way, without leaving a trace of emotion.

——At that time, I said to myself, everything is for Lily, for the one I love...

But only now did he realize what a high-sounding excuse he had been using to cover up his ferocious malice and decadent depravity.

"Bullshit!"

All words are nonsense.

"...Alice!"

There was not a trace of killing smell, not a drop of warm and bright red blood, not a single horrific scar, not even a sharp scream, but his face was pale, he couldn't breathe, his heart stopped, and his eyes were closed.

She is dead.

At the age of 20, she died here wearing the rose-coloured chiffon dress that she had prepared for Christmas when she was 17 years old.

A person.

In his absent-minded black eyes, all the reflections are her beautiful face that has faded from the blood.

Also, during the time stopped for him, blooming the most beautiful smile she could give him in this life.

[Goodbye, Severus. 】

He hugged her and knelt by the lake as if he lost his soul for a moment, and looked down at her, already in tears.

Despair threw itself into endless silence.

Irreversible pain is the most destructive poison in this world.

The other Snape, who seemed to never realize that there was another self in this dream space.He can't see the real

Snape, so he didn't notice anything unusual about Alice's death.

"..."

After all the established procedures were completed, he didn't dirty his hands a single bit, but just quietly walked to the lake, and picked up Alice's body that had floated up from the calm lake water. The wand was silently put into the pocket of his clothes.Then, he turned around neatly, picked up the black cloak he had just thrown on the snow, raised it up and put it on again, and planned to leave.

From the looks of others, all the actions don't show any nostalgia or reluctance, as if to him, killing a person is nothing more than ordinary

It's nothing, so he should complete all of this calmly and calmly.

How could it be so cold.

——Have I always been like this?

Now watching his every move that day from the perspective of a third person, Snape suddenly realized that the past self—the present other self was so ridiculous.

Life has never been such a frivolous thing.

Ever since he really killed someone for the first time in his life, he felt that everything had already started and could not end again, just like when he first joined the Death Eaters, he still hesitated whether he really had the ability to change something. He never dared to think about changing things.

But he still came this far.

He thought he could still choose, but found that all of this had already entered the abyss of no choice.Even if I still want to atone for my sins wholeheartedly, I will not be able to repay the sins I have committed in my life.

The person he owed, apart from leaving him all the regrets in this life, didn't even say goodbye to him.

— Alice.

Another snowfall suddenly fell into the ground one after another, and the snowflakes all over the sky penetrated into the bottom of his heart with a trace of sadness, and smashed all his senses with the sharp knife of ice.

As if thinking of something suddenly, the other Snape still had no expression on his face, but turned his face away from Alice who was lying on the ground. He just moved his mouth, raised his wand again, and pointed looking at her.

"rest in peace."

He chanted the floating spell with a somewhat hoarse voice, moved Alice from the ground to the center of the lake, and let her fall into the icy cold lake in mid-air.

But he still didn't realize that there was always a person here who had been watching the other self, killed her in front of him, and ruthlessly snatched her away from his arms.

Snape couldn't stop it, anyway.

【You can't fight yourself, Severus. 】

It seemed that the voice of the dead person sounded in his head again, but this time it was no longer as clear as before, but became more ethereal and less syllable.

【did you see it?That's you, the old you. 】

As the sound appeared and dissipated, he saw another himself, after throwing Alice into the lake, an Apparition disappeared from the lake side.Now, in this dream space, he is finally the only one left, all the drama has come to an end, and the time has finally come for the music to end.

That touch of red disappeared above the water level in just a moment.

He watched all this helplessly, but could do nothing.

【Severus, what I owe you has already been paid off, but what do you owe me? 】

"...Alice...Alice!"

Alice.

——No matter how much you call, she will never come back.

[But I just want you to be happy, this is the answer you owe me, do you understand? 】

"Tell me... none of this is true..."

He stood up and ran to the lake, but sat there again in a daze, watching the lake surface that was rippling just now regained its calm, his eyes were full of emptiness and despair.

"Alice!"

Without even thinking about it, he even forgot to add a floating water spell to himself, and jumped into the icy lake, desperately trying to find the bright red that fell into the water.

The calm lake suddenly became turbulent because of his fall. He kept pushing aside the lake water rushing back and forth in front of him, and swam down as hard as he could, until his eyes finally found something darker than the dark blue of the lake. When something brighter in color flickers, I pounce on it in surprise and grab it tightly.

—her necklace.

He grabbed the sapphire blue crystal and continued to swim deeper into the lake.The coldness of the lake almost froze the blood in the veins of his hands and feet, but he didn't care. There was only one thought in his mind all the time, and he only knew that if he kept going downstream, he would find her figure.

Perhaps, the only thing in this life that I really want to save is such an instant.

[Let's stop here, all of this is enough for me. 】

--no.

The ghostly voice began to sound again, and he gradually saw her unconsciously sinking in the water.

Alice!

He swam over, hugged her tightly in the water, held her in his arms and tried to swim back to the lake.

Without breathing, she has already become as frozen as the lake water, and she will no longer struggle. Her face, which is paler than a puppet, looks so fragile and fragile in the water.

He didn't care so much, he just wanted to go upstream and bring her back to the shore.

[Severus. 】

Amidst the sound of tumbling water, apart from the whitish foam, there were fragmentary noises that settled down.The water pressure compressed the space until only a weak body was left floating, as if everything was contained in a huge water tank, and everything was tied with heavy chains and locked at the bottom of the tank. cannot.

He suddenly felt that the person in his arms seemed to have regained consciousness, intending to push him away and break free from his shackles.But he didn't know if it was just an illusion, because the sound of more turbulent water drowned all of this and rolled into a deeper layer of the lake bottom.

【Severus, let's go. 】

The ghostly voice began to become clearer in the water again.

[Even if it never started, we have already finished it. 】

let me go.

Goodbye, is never to see you again.

--do you know?Severus.

Suddenly, a dazzling blue light flashed in Severus' eyes, and then a burst of white foam rose from the bottom of the water and surrounded him and her, everything became light and unreal.

Dream bubbles will eventually be shattered.

He looked at her, the warmth that was still in his arms half a second ago