martyrdom

One weekend, at dusk, when the sun was setting, Yuan Fei had nothing to do. Standing on the balcony, she found that she had begun to recall the old things like an old man.

She remembered that she was hospitalized with pneumonia, and Gu Xin accidentally talked about Yu'er's past when he was taking care of her.

"She was never a nice girl."

What impresses her the most is that when she was a child, she was bullied and left a scar. The little guy looked angry and was able to scratch the scar by himself with a knife.Three or four-year-old children are the age when they are most afraid of pain, her Yu'er has been so resolute, so extreme, it really frightened Yuan Fei.

Yu'er is a very smart and excellent person.Such a person often has a decisive and extreme character in his character.They can't tolerate the slightest imperfection in themselves, and they can't let go of the harm of others.Those with good intentions punish themselves with the faults of others; those with evil desires redouble their revenge and even hurt the innocent.

Often good and evil are in a single thought.

After Gu Xin expressed such concerns, Yuan Fei was skeptical.The Yu'er she saw was bright and bright, kind and gentle, and could keep calm in the face of Kang Yu's repeated injuries, and would be angry and displeased because she violated justice.How could such a girl be extreme, how could she take revenge, and how could she hurt the innocent?

Gu Xin said, it was you who turned her into what you saw.

Gu Xin said, no matter how much wronged she has suffered by your side, she just humbled herself. If she leaves you, it is uncertain what kind of malice this wronged will turn into, and who will be imposed on it.

Gu Xin said that when the malice ends and the kind thoughts return, she will hate herself, and even go to extremes completely.

At this point, Yuan Fei finally understood that it was a complete mistake for her to drive Yu'er away to prevent her from humbled herself.

This is not scaremongering, it is something that actually happened, something that Yuan Fei didn't know about, but was completely seen by Gu Xin in the past.

But the fact is just as Gu Xin guessed, all this happened again.

When slashing her hand with a knife, the girl had a gamble mentality.If she dies, she deserves what she deserves; if she lives, she loses her right hand.In any case, it is counted as giving to Flora, and also giving myself an explanation.

What's more, she hates this right hand so much that she doesn't want it!

In the nearly one month since returning to China, she thought clearly.So when you do it, do it decisively enough.

Pain, dizziness, cold sweat.At that moment, all the good, evil, joy and anger in this world left him, and the five senses were concentrated on the right wrist, and he could clearly feel that the wrist below was completely out of control.In the blurred vision, the snow-white jade hand was stained with blood and fell on the floor, fingers spread out unwillingly, as if begging the master for mercy...

I can't write like this anymore.

I can no longer hold Yuan Fei in my arms with both hands.

No more, it really is a sad word.

The girl slowly closed her eyes, not letting the tears fall at such a moment.In her last consciousness, she said that sentence to the terrified girl in front of her.After paying such a price, she can finally speak out without any guilt.

Hei Tian didn't know how long she slept, and when she regained consciousness, Yu'er felt a little strange.

No pain, no weakness, not even a little bit of external cognition brought by the senses.Some are just a touch of consciousness, light and floating, out of the body, wandering alone in the darkness of nowhere.

Is this... what it feels like to die?

Realizing this, Yu'er suddenly felt sad.Even sadness is strange sadness, no sore nose, no moist eyes, just a slump that is out of the body and has nowhere to express.

If she died, Yuan Fei would be very sad.

——If I were the moon in the water, I would burn it deeply in your eyes; if I were the sand between my fingers, I would stick firmly to your palm.

Wouldn't the previous oath be broken?

Her Yuan Fei had already experienced life and death twice.He will be her third nightmarish nightmare, and he will completely crush her, beyond redemption.

No way!

No, what can I do?

Life and death are an insurmountable gap, even if she is reluctant to give up and unwilling to give up in every way, she has nothing to do.Next, Yuan Fei is doomed to have no more Yu'er by her side, and she only has a little time left to drift away in the world and say her final farewell.

Then, let time go back to the time after the broken hand, and experience all those sweet, sad, joyful and chaotic things again!

As soon as the thought comes out, the five senses return.

There is light through the heavy eyelids, and the brightness reaches the depths of the mind.The conversation was in English, and she reacted for a while before she could barely keep up with the rhythm of the conversation, and it seemed to be an exchange between the doctor and his family.

"The operation was successful, but it's hard to say whether he will survive. The next anti-infection and rehabilitation process are more important. The nurse will tell you the detailed nursing methods..."

Then came a familiar female voice: "Then when will she wake up?"

"The anesthesia recovery period has passed, and it is estimated that the patient will wake up soon."

As if to prove it, as soon as the doctor finished speaking, Yu'er successfully struggled to open his eyes.

Looking down impatiently, he saw his right hand wrapped in gauze.There was a little color at the end of the gauze, like a fingertip, but it was horribly pale.

There is still no sensation below the right wrist.

Yu'er moved her arm, trying to take a closer look, but was gently held down.

Gu Xin stretched out his hand to caress her forehead, pressing the warmth in his palm, and his tone was so gentle that she wanted to cry: "Okay, it's okay, I'm here. It will pass, don't be afraid."

The girl who was so strong that she didn't shed a single tear when she broke her hand finally couldn't hold back the tears.

The real suffering has only begun at this point.

Later, when Yu'er recalled the days of being accompanied by pain, she couldn't help being frightened, but she never regretted it.The pain gradually wiped away the guilt that could not be dispelled from her heart, and gradually made her feel like a living, normal person, and also made those unresolved injuries less unforgettable in the severe pain day and night.

This is probably the so-called, put it to death and survive.

One month later, it will be autumn.

The school's recommendation work for graduate students exempted from examinations has begun, and Yuan Fei, who has obtained the qualification of a tutor, is about to usher in her first orientation season.

The ranking of the Chinese Department was released, and Gu Yuzhi's name topped the list.On the recommendation list of the law school, all the exchange students were on the list, but her name was not on the list.It is said that she voluntarily gave up her qualifications to be exempted from legal studies.

Yuan Fei was at a loss, but vaguely expected something.

Two months later, late autumn.

At the end of the written test, the girl who obviously did not appear in the written test room went directly to the interview without any objection from the competitors and the school. The reason was that she was unable to take the test due to physical reasons.

Yuan Fei asked all the people she could, and found that everyone seemed to be tacitly aware of Yu'er's situation, but she was the only one who had been concealed.

Three months later, early winter.

The number of exempted students has been set, and Gu Yuzhi is one of them in the Chinese Department.

Four months later, bitter cold.

Exchange students return home.Yuan Fei put aside her self-esteem and determination to leave with her own hands, and was ready to go to the airport to meet her again.Among the crowd, she scoured every inch of the floor and couldn't find the girl. In the end, she only got a "don't look for it" and a sympathetic look from the teacher in charge.

Walking out of the airport, the first snow fell in the city.Compared with last year's fluttering and fluttering, the snowflakes at this moment are thin and weak, floating to the palm of the hand for only a few seconds, and suddenly melting into water, like crystal tears.

Yuan Fei clenched Xueshui in her palms, raised her head and closed her eyes, but she couldn't stop a wave of warmth from splattering down her cheeks.

Yu'er, where are you, what's wrong with you...

Five months later, New Years.

The couplets written like this every year have been pasted at the door of my parents' house for a whole year.The color of the ink faded, and the edge of the red paper was cracked with small openings. When you touch it with your fingers, you can clearly feel the vicissitudes of time.

It's been an extraordinarily long year.

Six months later, spring begins.

The re-examination for the postgraduate entrance examination is just around the corner, and Yuan Fei's mailbox is filled with emails for applying for tutors.Her fame as a writer, her academic level, and her pleasing appearance are all factors that make her so popular.As a new mentor, it is really rare to have such a grand occasion. There are constant exchanges of congratulations. Yuan Fei hastily flipped through the emails and was overwhelmed.

After looking at the email carefully, Yuan Fei stared at the screen for a long time when she saw the name that was so familiar to her bones, and then laughed until her face was covered with tears.

At the end of the re-examination, Yuan Fei organized an unofficial interview in order to select the best one who was finally admitted from among the many students who applied for her, and she really couldn't wait to meet someone again after the school started.

There were bustling voices from the corridor outside the office, and in the room, the young mentor was sitting at the desk, shaking his fingertips with nervousness.

After a while, the assistant walked out of the office, took the warm-up questions before the interview with the tutor, and sent a post-it note to each interviewer.

"Teacher Yuan said, let each of you give a horizontal comment to a pair of couplets. The first couplet is, Qingshan has no ink and Qianqiu paintings, and the second couplet is, flowing water has no strings."

As soon as the topic came up, some would frown and meditate, some would write with confidence, and some would be calm and indifferent. Five minutes later, the post-it notes with various answers were delivered to Yuan Fei by the assistant.

Unchanging from ancient times, enduring, lasting forever, unswerving until death... Most of the answers are nothing more than making up existing idioms, there is nothing new, and there is no answer she wants.

Only the last few left.

Yuan Fei took a deep breath, pushed away the boredom she hadn't seen in front of her, propped her head and closed her eyes, and kneaded her temples that ached due to excessive tension.

"Teacher Yuan?" the assistant reminded softly.

"Come and read."

For some reason, he followed her instructions.The assistant's voice sounded: "The sea is dry and the rocks are rotten, forever, forever, and there is another... like every year?"

Yuan Fei opened his eyes all of a sudden.

She is coming.

Almost snatching the post-it note from the assistant's hand, the smile that had already overflowed the corner of his lips turned cold instantly.

On it, the brushwork is jerky and the structure is scattered, it is clearly not Yu'er's handwriting!

A heart experienced ups and downs, and finally couldn't bear it.Yuan Fei asked the assistant bluntly, "Who wrote this one?"

The assistant recalled for a while, then shook his head blankly.

"Let her in."

The door opened and closed, closed and opened again.

Someone came in, with soft and regular footsteps, and stopped in front of her desk.

Yuan Fei never dared to raise her gaze.

"Name." His own voice was trembling.

The room was quiet for a long time, until a sweet voice with a smile uttered verses that seemed to be irrelevant to the question——

"Ande Huang Heyu, once reported to a beautiful woman, it will be known."

My Yu'er, long time no see.