Can't let go

Nanjin doesn't have any impression of breaking up with Geng Jieti.He didn't sleep very well during this period, and sometimes he conceived a lot of scenes to force himself to fall asleep, his mind was chaotic, and he couldn't tell the truth from the fake.

After hanging up the call, he was still curled up on the bed, his back was covered with cold sweat, but he finally felt relieved and threw the panic out of his heart, as if all he had to do was wait for Geng Jie to come back, and he didn't have to do anything .

Aunt Hua answered Geng Jie's call, came upstairs with her things, and knocked symbolically on the door.When I came in and saw him lying on the bed in broad daylight, I couldn't help feeling a little worried: "Are you uncomfortable? Did you catch a cold? Do you want to call the doctor to check?" The glass bowl in his hand was put aside, and he touched his body first. forehead.

"Didn't sleep well, a little lack of energy." Nanjin looked tired, slightly stretched his neck to look at the glass bowl, "Ice cream?"

Seeing that his body temperature was normal, Aunt Hua felt a little relieved, and stared at him disapprovingly: "That's not good for your health, I cut some fruit for you."

"Has it been iced?" Nanjin asked lazily.

Aunt Hua said, "Don't keep thinking about eating ice."

Nanjin retorted: "Mu Xian said, I can eat ice."

"When? You coaxed me again." Aunt Hua opened her eyes, frowned, and gave Nanjin a fake look. Nanjin didn't dare to speak, and turned around angrily.

He has indeed always had some fantasies lately, even though he remembered that he had called Geng Jie just now, but he couldn't be 100% sure that it was real and not a dream he made himself.Aunt Hua had seen his sickness before, and he was afraid that it was really his own imagination. If Aunt Hua found out that he was sick again, she would rather hold her breath than refute.

Aunt Hua reached out to touch his head, very lovingly, Nanjin endured letting her touch it for a while, and finally said: "I want to sleep for a while."

"Don't you want any fruit?"

"No."

"Then drink some water. Your lips are dry, drink some water before going to sleep."

Nanjin was helped up by Aunt Hua, took a few mouthfuls of warm water before lying down again.

"I'll be with you, okay? I'll leave when you fall asleep." Aunt Hua stroked his quilt tenderly, as if he was still a child.

Nanjin seemed to be really sleepy, unwilling to speak, just let out a dazed "um", buried his head in the quilt, and unconsciously curled himself up tighter.

He was used to Aunt Hua's company.When Geng Jie was busy with foreign affairs, Aunt Hua accompanied him, like Geng Jie's eyes and mouthpiece beside Nanjin, taking care of him instead of Geng Jie.Geng Jie knew exactly which book Nanjin read at home and how long it took to finish it.

Nanjin has always felt that maybe he and Geng Jie are too young, so that Geng Jie can't treat himself like a child, and he must find someone to watch over him before he can rest assured.Watching him eat and sleep obediently, strictly control snacks, no drinking, no late return, and must report when he goes out-this is no more than the strictest family.Nanjin was an orphan. He had no parents to teach him or his mother to take care of him since he was a child. Finding a lover who was older than him was like finding a parent.

However, Geng Jie thinks that he has neglected to care about Nanjin. He has not learned for a long time what Nanjin did when he was not at home.This made him very anxious, and he didn't even dare to drive by himself. He just sat in the back with a sullen face, and told the driver to go faster when he got in the car, and he emphasized it again after a while.The driver also waited on Geng Jie for a long time, and he didn't dare to delay at all on the way after just these two sentences.

As soon as Geng Jie entered the room, Nan Jin woke up - he could feel Geng Jie's footsteps because they were so familiar.But he didn't know if it was a dream, so he didn't open his eyes.Until Geng Jie approached, bent down and kissed his forehead, he smelled the familiar scent of Geng Jie again, then opened his eyes, and happened to look into Geng Jie's eyes.

Geng Jie had countless words stuck in his throat, and was eager to relieve the hidden worries that he had suffocated all the way, but first he remained silent and kissed Nanjin's lips tenderly.

"I'm back." He announced softly.

For a moment, Nanjin felt that he was dying, and Geng Jie was rushing back to see him for the last time.He wanted to cry a little, but his eyes were very dry, he just looked at Geng Jie and blinked slowly.

Geng Jie asked: "What's the matter?" His voice was almost whispering, and he put Nanjin's head in his arms.

Nanjin said: "Don't be sad." After speaking, Nanjin seemed to be unable to bear it. He took a few breaths, and after a while he calmed down slowly. He stretched out his hand to grab Geng Jie's arm and spoke with difficulty, "...I have a nightmare I'm sorry, did I bother you again?"

"It's okay, it's all fake. I'll sleep with you for a while, what do you want to dream about? Let's dream about something good."

"I'm having a nightmare..." Nanjin closed his eyes and muttered in a tired manner, "It's good to wake up and see you." After he finished speaking, he managed to smile a little.

Geng Jie hugged him completely into his arms, and asked in a low voice, "You've been tired recently. Have you read too many books? Let's go out for a walk, okay?"

Since Nanjin suffered from a serious illness when he was young, his whole body has been seriously injured and his health has not been very good. Geng Jie forbade him to go out to work, so he stayed at home and studied crazily. He studied for a master's degree and a doctoral degree.After taking the Ph.D. exam, I was finally bored. Once I lost my degree certificate, I just stayed at home and read all kinds of messy books.

When he was a child, his grandmother in the orphanage told him that he had to study more so that he could live the life he wanted in the future.

But why, even though he has read so many books, he still lives in a miserable state.

Nan Jin nestled in Geng Jie's arms, for some reason, he was too tired to open his eyes, and called him almost silently: "Mu Xian..."

Geng Jie froze all over, but Nan Jin seemed to have fallen asleep, and he finally let out a sigh of relief without saying anything else.

He was afraid that Nanjin would break up with him again.

Geng Jie was very annoyed by such a subconscious reaction, more unbearable than the fact that Nanjin broke up with him.

For Nanjin's preference, heavy blackout curtains were installed in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows of this room, which were closed all year round, giving people a sense of airtight security.At this time, the light in the room was as dim as ever, making it difficult to distinguish day and night, Nan Jin was sleeping peacefully in his arms.Geng Jie has not smoked for many years, but now he really wants to have one.

Qin Lie once laughed at him for this matter, feeling how great love is, even the old smokers can stop smoking.Geng Jie was not yet 30 years old at the time, but he had been smoking for more than ten years. When he was most addicted to cigarettes, he could smoke two packs of cigarettes a day. Just because Nanjin didn't like it, he quit when he really said it.It was only after quitting smoking that Qin Lie said that Nanjin was born to restrain honesty, and he didn't believe it.

Going back to the beginning, Nanjin wanted to taste Geng Jie's cigarettes out of curiosity, but he was snatched away by Geng Jie after taking a puff, saying that it was not good for him and he was not allowed to touch it.Nanjin listened to Geng Jie's words the most, and was determined to rescue Geng Jie from his addiction to cigarettes. So later, every time Geng Jie wanted to smoke, Nanjin took the cigarette away, then kissed him, let him strip his clothes, and put all his energy into He exhausted himself—he turned himself into Geng Jie's cigarette, which made Geng Jie addicted to him.

Geng Jie carefully maintained the posture of encircling Nanjin, while kissing his forehead to overcome his inner restless addiction, while coaxing him softly as in the past: "Don't be afraid, don't be afraid... just sleep peacefully, I'll be there By your side, not going anywhere."