spirits in throat

"Baby, I'm here for an appointment," Zhou Ye raised his arms, seeing Rong Zhao standing still, and then saw the gift box on the table.

After Zhou Ye changed into his slippers, he even went to the bathroom to wash his hands without taking his eyes off the gift box for a second. He smiled: "Is that a Valentine's Day gift for me?"

Turning around, he saw a bouquet of roses made of paper by the wall, and frowned: "What the hell."

Rong Zhao got up from the window, walked to the table and looked at the gift box on the table: "Open it and see if you like it." He lowered his eyes and turned his back to the light. No one could see his expression clearly, let alone guess. Through his mind.

"I also have a gift for you, but I can't wait to unwrap the gift you gave me first." Zhou Ye walked over and picked up the gift box with both hands, as if he was afraid of taking it away. His movements were cautious, and his eyes were full of cherishing and look forward to.

Zhou Ye looked at the gift box in his hand, and looked up at Rong Zhao: "Did you tie this bow yourself, or did you ask someone else to tie it?"

Rong Zhao: "Myself."

Zhou Ye looked at the dark blue bow on the gift box, his heart seemed to be touched by a pair of soft hands, and the tenderness in his heart was so strong that it almost overflowed: "I'm a bit reluctant to take it apart, what should I do?"

He has a special liking for things like bows, which reminded him of Rong Zhao's appearance in women's clothing. There was a bow on the back waist of that big red dress. He begged Rong Zhao several times but refused to let him touch it. .

Zhou Ye traced the shape of the bow with his fingertips, his movements were very gentle, as if he was touching his lover's skin.

Rong Zhao stood aside, watching Zhou Ye quietly, without interrupting him.

"I unwrapped this bow, will you tie it up for me later, just this one, exactly the same," Zhou Ye was reluctant to untie it, and looked at Rong Zhao eagerly.

Rong Zhao didn't answer Zhou Ye's question, he knew in his heart that there was no future between them.

Zhou Ye picked up a ribbon and gently pulled it away.

A silver mechanical watch lay in the middle of a piece of black velvet fabric, and under the light, it seemed as if stars were jumping on the silver dial.

Zhou Ye picked up the watch and rubbed it lovingly on his hand. When he looked up again, his eyes became deep and soft. He whispered: "I like it very much. This is the favorite gift I have received."

I like it even more than the moon rock watch I got at the bar mitzvah.

Zhou Ye tried it on, and raised his wrist to Rong Zhao's eyes.

Zhou Ye's wrists are beautiful, with even flesh and bones. When the light shines, the shadows make the wrist bone line more sexy.

Rong Zhao forced himself to look away: "Just like it."

Reluctant to wear it, Zhou Ye took off the watch from his wrist and put it in a box, then looked up at Rong Zhao: "Are you unhappy?"

Rong Zhao shook his head: "No."

Zhou Ye raised his hand to embrace Rong Zhao's face, forced him to look at him, stared into the other's eyes and said, "Don't lie to me, what's the matter?"

It's fine when I clearly leave after get off work.

Even though he had just stepped out of the icy rain, Zhou Ye's hand was still very warm. When he touched someone's cheek, it felt like he was lying in his mother's arms, which made people reluctant to leave.

Rong Zhao turned his head, and Zhou Ye turned his face back again: "What's the matter, is there something wrong with me?"

"Sorry, I'm late, I'll never be late again, okay?"

Rong Zhao still didn't speak, Zhou Ye's heart sank suddenly, he could see a trace of ashes in his eyes, he hadn't seen this kind of emotion in him for a long time.

Zhou Ye panicked, hugged Rong Zhao tightly, rubbed his chin lightly on his shoulder, and whispered in his ear, "Speak."

Rong Zhao let Zhou Ye hug him for a while, instead of as before, as soon as Zhou Ye approached, he put on an expression and gesture that you are a gay, don't take me to me, and kicked him aside.

Zhou Ye rubbed Rong Zhao's earlobe with his own lips, and waited quietly for him to speak.

Rong Zhao felt Zhou Ye's breathing and hug. Everything about him was warm and bright. After staying with him for a long time, it was easy for people to have an illusion that they were also clean and pure.

This kind of feeling is too easy to intoxicate, like drinking a cup of warm rum in a snowy winter day, people don't want to wake up.

Rong Zhao knew that he had been drunk for too long, and it was time for him to wake up and return to the real world.

This world is cold and cruel, the devil hides in the dark, and will jump out at any time to grab his neck, he is destined to walk alone.

He would not and was not willing to drag Zhou Ye into the same abyss as him.

Rong Zhao pushed Zhou Ye away and looked down at the watch on the table: "This is a thank you gift for you. Thank you for helping me find the photos. I don't want to owe anyone anything, so thank you."

"I don't need your thank you," Zhou Ye interrupted Rong Zhao, putting his hands on his shoulders, "I am willing to do anything for you."

Rong Zhao pushed Zhou Ye's hand away from his shoulder, and repeated what he said in a cold tone: "I don't want to owe anyone anything."

Zhou Ye's hand lost weight in an instant. He stared closely at Rong Zhao's eyes and asked in a low voice, "Am I the same as others in your eyes?"

"Yes," Rong Zhao answered without hesitation, raised his eyes to look at Zhou Ye, his voice became colder and colder, making him look like an ice sculpture, "If you have done anything in the past that misunderstood you, I will tell you Apologize."

Zhou Ye stared closely at Rong Zhao's eyes: "Rong Rong, my feeling is right, you like me too."

Rong Zhao took a step back, lowered his eyes, and slightly pursed his lips: "That's your illusion."

"I don't believe it," Zhou Ye suddenly took a step forward, hugged Rong Zhao and threw himself on the bed. He pressed him firmly under him, and pressed his hands with both hands, his voice was low and full of strength, "I don't believe that all those It's my illusion!"

After speaking, he kissed Rong Zhao's lips.

Rong Zhao raised his head slightly, bit his teeth tightly, and closed his lips to prevent Zhou Ye from intruding.The warm breath approached, and the other party's stubborn and soft lips kissed him fiercely, which made him almost unable to resist.

Rong Zhao opened his lips, bit Zhou Ye hard, and immediately tasted a trace of blood, which stuck in his throat along with the saliva, blocking his breathing.

The person on his body didn't seem to know the pain, and took advantage of the moment when he opened his mouth to bite him, he rushed in forcefully, no matter how Ren Rongzhao bit and beat him, he was unmoved, like a red-eyed wolf who just wanted to kill the person in front of him. The prey is dismantled to the bone.

Zhou Ye once told Rong Zhao that as long as he wanted to, Rong Zhao would never be his opponent.Rong Zhao never believed it, because every time Zhou Ye played hooliganism on him, he would push or kick him away.

What Zhou Ye said was right, when he didn't want to let him go, he could only let him be slaughtered.

Zhou Ye kissed Rong Zhao, grabbed his wrist with one hand and raised it above his head, and lifted the hem of his T-shirt with the other hand: "You are mine, even if you don't have feelings for me, you can only be mine."

Rong Zhao turned his head while struggling, his eyes were red, and he cursed in a low voice: "You bastard."

Zhou Ye firmly suppressed Rong Zhao: "Yes, I am a beast, you can scold me, even if you kill me, you are mine."

"I only want you in this life!"

Rong Zhao turned his head, covered his eyes on the pillow, secretly wiped away a tear that slipped down, gritted his teeth, and turned his head: "You homosexuals are all perverts, you make me feel sick."

Zhou Ye's movements stopped suddenly, and memories swept in like a flood.

At the age of fifteen or sixteen, he found out that he liked men for the first time. At that time, he had a crush on a boy in his class, and carefully wrote a love letter to him.

Due to his family background, the boy didn't say anything to his face, but told people behind his back that he made him feel sick.When he was young, he felt terrified, he didn't dare to tell anyone, and he didn't dare to like anyone easily anymore.

After graduating from the police academy, his family forced him to go on a blind date and marry a woman, so he had no choice but to come out of the closet.He thought they were his closest relatives, and they would not look at him with the same eyes as others.

"You make me sick." His biological father said the same thing, and his mother stood by crying, unable to utter a single word of defense for him.

He will always remember Zhou Sihuai's expression at that time, he screamed and scolded him for hitting him.He was suffocated by the disgust and disgust that radiated from his bones, as if he was an extremely dirty and perverted animal.

For a long time, he decided to die alone. It wasn't until he met Rong Zhao that he understood the feeling of throbbing with love, and from then on he knew what love should look like.

But he said he made him sick.

Zhou Ye's hands gradually became weak, he let go of Rong Zhao's wrist, got off him, and slowly squeezed out two heavy words from his throat: "Sorry."

After speaking, he pushed open the door and walked out. He didn't change his shoes and didn't take his umbrella. He went down the stairs and walked into the rain screen.

Rong Zhao lay on the bed, turned his head, and watched Zhou Ye's disappearing back through the crack of the door.

The messy bed sheets, messy clothes and hair, the watch on the table, and the empty bed three meters away, everything made him want to cry and howl loudly.

Rong Zhao sat up from the bed and wanted to walk to the window, but Kankan stopped two steps away from the window.

He knew that what he said was too much, and he felt disgusted with himself like this.

He had never seen that kind of look on Zhou Ye's face before, he seemed to be dead.

Rong Zhao looked up at the rain that was falling harder and harder outside the window, he himself was already a person who fell into the abyss, he would not and was not willing to pull Zhou Ye down.

He killed someone, Zhou Ye, as a policeman, is nothing to hang out with a murderer all day long.

Rong Zhao has always known that his crimes will be exposed sooner or later.At that time, what is Zhou Ye? He knows the law and covers up criminals, or he is an accomplice of murderers.

He is the only warmth he has left in this world, and he wishes him a happy and long life for the rest of his life.

Rong Zhao returned to the table, repacked the watch as it was, and tied a bow that was exactly the same as the original one.

He sat on the bed that Zhou Ye had slept on, touched the sheet on it, the pattern of blue Transformers, they bought it in the supermarket together, and once had a fight over who used this sheet.

Rong Zhao got up, picked up his pajamas and went to the bathroom to take a shower.

Standing in front of the mirror, he saw a large red hickey on his neck, which seemed to still have the touch of that person's soft and hot lips.

The weather forecast said that today's temperature is 37 degrees, Rong Zhao felt that the weather forecast was deceiving, otherwise why he stood under the shower for an hour, his skin was still cold.

After rushing for another hour, I barely managed to get rid of the cold on my body.

The blood flowed again, and my whole body became warm. After washing and wiping, I found that I forgot to take my underwear, and subconsciously shouted: "Zhou--"

The shouting stopped abruptly, Rong Zhao realized something, opened the door and went out, took a pair of underwear and put it on.

Like a long time ago, I went back to the bed silently, picked up the "Dream of Red Mansions" beside the bed and read it.

I don't know how long it took, maybe two hours, maybe three hours, Rong Zhao put down the book in his hand, lay down and covered himself with a quilt, turned sideways, and looked at the bed where Zhou Ye had slept.

He was awakened by the nightmare again. He returned to the bloody massacre scene and heard his helpless and trembling cries. The next second the scene was reversed, and the person holding the knife in his hand became himself.

Even in his dream, he could clearly see himself with a hideous face. The knife in his hand fell down with the lightning, and blood splashed all over his body.

He doesn't regret it at all, he doesn't regret killing people, he thinks they deserve to die.

He told himself he didn't regret it, he didn't regret it at all.

The night wind blew in through the gap in the window, and the hum of the old-fashioned air conditioner swept over his ears. Rong Zhao sat on the bed, looking at his hands through the dim desk lamp.

Hands stained with blood are different from normal people's hands. They radiate coldness all the year round, and they often feel that the hands are not their own.

The light rain outside the window did not know when it turned into a thunderstorm.Lightning split the black night, followed by rolling thunder.

Throughout the second half of the night, Rong Zhao didn't fall asleep again.

The next day was a sunny day, the sun shone in through the window glass, Rong Zhao got off the bed and drew the curtains to block out the excessively dazzling sunlight.

He turned his head and glanced at the kitchen, then at the bathroom.

As before, he still doesn't know how to cook porridge, and it always smells like burnt porridge.He couldn't figure it out, he had clearly imitated that person's appearance and kept stirring by the side, why did he still get muddled.

Rong Zhao sat at the dining table, looking down at the black and white rice porridge in the bowl.It's just a paste, and it's not like I haven't eaten burnt porridge.

But when he picked up the spoon and took a bite, he realized that he couldn't swallow it.