mayfly dream

It was the early morning of early spring, and Shi Nanyun was walking forward with his burden on his back. Since the doctor said a month ago that he only had one year to live at most, Shi Nanyun decided to close the shop and travel around, stop and go, Shi Nanyun thought , When you get to a place where you can't walk anymore, you will end the rest of your life there, come alone, and go alone, it seems good to spend the rest of your life like this.Passing by a small town yesterday, I heard from people in the town that there is an ancient temple on Mount Putuo. Shi Nanyun thought that since he didn’t have much time, he might as well take this opportunity to visit the ancient temple, because his health has been poor since he was a child, and he has been running around for days , making his footsteps look a little vain, and Shi Nanyun's face also looked paler.Until finally losing consciousness, Shi Nanyun seemed to hear someone calling him. "Benefactor, benefactor..." Zen He looked at the fainted man in front of him. It has been more than half a month since he listened to the master's words that day and went down the mountain the next day for alms. During the process, Chanhe's heart still couldn't stop aching, and finally decided to go back to the temple. Unexpectedly, just halfway there, he saw a blue figure lying down in the grass beside the road. Chanhe hurried up to help Shi Nanyun, What came into view was a piece of gentle facial features, not handsome but giving people a very comfortable feeling, but at this moment, the facial features looked abnormally pale, with tightly pursed lips, revealing a kind of helplessness and sadness, Chan He's heart suddenly trembled, as if seeing himself three years ago again, lonely and helpless, and full of sadness, what made this person full of sadness that could be felt as soon as he approached, What kind of pain is this?Chanhe put his hand on Shi Nanyun's forehead, but found that his forehead was cold.Zen and Yijing, although it is the early spring morning, it is not so cold.Chanhe hurriedly carried him on his back, and walked back step by step. The mountain road was rugged, and the sweat trickled down his resolute chin little by little, wet on the stone ladder up the mountain. Before he had time to wipe the sweat dripping from his face, Chanhe Gritting his teeth, he speeded up.

Shi Nanyun opened his eyes, feeling a little dazed for a moment, what he saw was a neat and simple room, with runes related to Buddhism engraved on the wall, and a wooden fish placed on the table, it can be roughly recognized that this should be In a meditation room, the sound of wooden fish can still be vaguely heard not far away. "Squeak..." The door was opened from the outside, and I saw a handsome but indifferent monk in gray-white robes came in with a bowl of medicine and was struggling to get up. Zen and met He hurriedly stepped forward to help him up, and said: "Benefactor, you are awake, drink the medicine first!"

As soon as he got close to Shi Nanyun, he could smell the cold sandalwood scent on his body, which was very nice. Shi Nanyun's heart moved but he asked instead, "Where is this?"

Zen said: "This is Putuo Temple. The poor monk saw the benefactor fainted by the roadside, so he brought the benefactor back."

"So that's the case, thank you, Master." Shi Nanyun said with a slight bow.

"Benefactor, drink the medicine first," Zen He reminded again.

Shi Nanyun smiled wryly and said, "I am already a terminally ill person, so there is no need to waste medicinal materials."

Zen and He Wenyan were taken aback for a moment, and he felt the sadness and despair emanating from Shi Nanyun again, which seemed particularly abrupt on this vibrant spring day.Chanhe didn't say anything, put down the medicine bowl, and went straight out. Shi Nanyun looked at Chanhe's back in astonishment, looked back at the medicine on the case, smiled wryly like self-deprecating, and ignored it.

In the evening, Chanhe came to deliver the medicine again. When he saw the untouched bowl of medicine before, Chanhe didn't say anything, but silently took away the cold medicine, put down the freshly brewed medicine, and opened the door After going out, Shi Nanyun just sat on the roof and watched Zen and finished all these things. Looking at Chan and going out, neither of them spoke, but Shi Nanyun felt a complicated and inexplicable emotion.

Early the next morning, Chan He still came to deliver the medicine, just like last night, silently took away the cold medicine, put on the freshly brewed medicine, and was about to go out, Shi Nanyun finally couldn't help it, and said: "You Why do you still come to give me medicine, you know that I won't drink it."

Hearing this, Zenhe raised his calm eyes and looked at him and said: "Mr. Shi, life is short. Instead of worrying about everything, it's better to live every day just like that. It's better than looking for troubles."

Shi Nanyun lowered his eyes and said in a low voice: "Are you looking for trouble?" Then he said bitterly: "My life has already been full of troubles, so why should I look for troubles again? It's just that my life is not long, and taking this medicine will also help me. Eat for nothing, you don't have to work hard for me anymore."

Chanhe remained calm: "It's not in vain, I just hope you can cherish yourself."

Hearing this, Shi Nanyun looked at him in surprise. Shi Nanyun was an orphan since he was a child and was bullied. Even after he grew up, he was always alone and had few friends. He cherishes himself very much, and for a while, he has mixed feelings in his heart. He can't tell whether he is more moved or ironic. What is moved is the first time he grows up to experience the feeling of someone caring, and the irony is the first time someone grows up. Caring about himself, it was the first time someone asked him to cherish himself, but this person was someone he had just met.Shi Nanyun met Shang Chanhe's eyes and carefully sized up this person who made him feel cared for for the first time. His handsome face revealed fortitude, and his whole body revealed a feeling of indifference and alienation. Shi Nanyun stared at himself extremely seriously, Shi Nanyun lowered his eyes, hid all the fluctuations in his heart, picked up the medicine that was just delivered on the table and drank it in one gulp, frowned, and said, "Thank you."

"It's just a little effort, thank you very much." Chan He was still in his usual detached and indifferent manner.